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[08 Nov 2003|11:43pm] |
Stacy: You sound sad, so before you tell me whats wrong, I'll give you your advice FIRST, this time. (pause) Kick some asses.
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Brad: (to Danielle) Shut up, your twat smells.
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[08 Nov 2003|11:39pm] |
Stacy: Why didn't you ever just adopt Amber. It could've been incest-fest.
Me: Ew.
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Me: Man, besides Travolta, that Punisher movie is going to be gay.
Brad: BESIDES Travolta?
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(Danielle falls asleep on Brads bed)
Brad: Wake up, crack-ho!
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[08 Nov 2003|06:24am] |
(about strippers)
Me: Lapdances. You want to touch but you can't.
Mike: The ultimate test of will, it be.
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(at white caste)
me: that dude's like "hey, look at me, i'm an old black man in white castle."
mike: wanna go in?
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(white castle, still)
mike: all i want to do is get my dirnk and shake this dildo at people.
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(about the old black man)
mike: he should be there all the time
me: lets name him crazy hobo jim. he'll be our mentor, we can go to him for hobo-advice.
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[08 Nov 2003|02:35am] |
me: damnit, carly. youre fucking up my mojo.
carly: how am i doing such?
me: by living.
carly: i'm sorry, if you'll pass a revolver my way i'll kindly cease to do so (pause) JUST JOKING.
me: WHAT A CARD YOU ARENT!
carly: i'm the life of this party.
me:i recall you saying that at a mexican whorehouse once.
carly:IT WAS PUERTO RICAN THANK YOU!
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me:(coughs)
brad:you have cancer. you're SO going to hell.
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[08 Nov 2003|02:24am] |
(Calling me on a cell, 2:30am)
Mike: I like staring at tits.
Me: Uhm, okay.
Mike: I'm at the Vu.
Me: First time?
Mike: I gotta go.
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(Steak n Shake, me putting on a flannel shirt)
Manda: You look like Al Borland now.
Me: I don't think so, Tim.
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(walking into my house)
James: I have to shit. I've had diarreha all day.
Mike: Explosive?
James: Very.
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(five minutes later, me putting my recently acquired Taco Bell)
James: Just going to buy the burrito and set it down?
Me: I haven't eaten it yet. Yeah.
James: (giving me a funny look.) Ohh..kay.
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(driving through chicago, people-watching)
Brad:(seeing an asian girl) I'd like to wage vietnam on her crotch.
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