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Sunday, November 8th, 2009
gwennie
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11:41p
So not worth it
To find and snip off that annoying short spurty growth of a strand of white hair, i sacrificed six strands of perfectly normal black hair ):
current mood:  annoyed
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bigblackheart
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2:47p
last night, we decided
we'll get it right
it's the last chance to forgive ourselves
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gwennie
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9:56p
Strange that is me
I'm actually feeling sad that Jon is leaving Perth for good and i have no idea why i'm feeling this way.
current mood:  sad
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bigblackheart
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6:50a
the resistance
whole night of drinks and nonsense. sat around for the past hour and a half to recover.
really need to reduce the drinking and the smokes.
finally was arsed to listen to muse's new album, the resistance.
been a week so far, and i think i have a grip on the album now.
an okay album. not very original. the influences rose to the surface too often for my liking.
it's the same problem i have with their previous releases, save for a few gems here and there.
however, i'd say that exogenesis symphony is easily the best thing muse has ever done.
well, it is at least next to stockholm syndrome, i think. haha.
even though it's quite clear where the pieces stemmed from, i still love them.
by the time it got to redemption, it is simply magic.
got to sleep.
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twistified
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1:15p
no point struggling now.
let myself freefall.
come what may.
when i hit rock bottom i'll know how to get back up. at least that's what i think.
i'm sick of how my wanting to be silent is often misinterpreted as indifference by others. it is even more disappointing when the ones whom you think will love and accept who you are do so too.
i also want to know.
why humans complicate every single thing?
why are there so many symbolic gestures or actions or behaviors we need to display in order to let others know that we are genuinely sincere at a very particular moment?
i'm so sick.
just this morning i had the urge to sweep everything off the coffee table. but i can't. because that'd be perceived as rude and immature.
for me, it's a means of taking it out against things that don't really matter. rather than issuing a slap across someone's face.
maybe i'm just rude, selfish, insensitive, whatever.
but i don't give a shit. my life is lived not to please others. i was given life to enjoy the beauty of this world.
unfortunately, apart from nature - trees, sky, clouds, flowers, massive ocean, i see nothing particularly beautiful.
on some days when you are in love, everything looks good.
on other days when you feel like everyone is aiming an arrow at you, there's nothing to be seen.
so...do i shift my sight away from those arrows (which are gonna come anyway) or enjoy the scenery for as long as i live?
is there a word that means "angry" + "sad"?
how about "angry" + "1/2sad" * "dejection" / "hopelessness"?
i think i'm wasting space on earth. i should just die off. i mean fuck off.
okie....back to my books. hope i'd forget the shit soon.
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gwennie
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11:07a
2 + 1 coming
2 lucky pieces extra from BO + 1 from new launch + 1 extras from another BO.
Oops ):
current mood:  guilty
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gwennie
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12:17a
Coz i couldn't find anyone else online to ask, i resorted to Jon despite him being on MSN on iPhone which made it relatively dificult for him to view the images that i wanted his advice on. Before you read on, i must say that Jon is one of the few guys whom i trust when it comes to fashion and my hesitance to seek his opinion this time was due to my own doubt of his ability to view the pictures from his iPhone, as he has packed his Mac in.
Gwënniê® ? Old-Bones is struck by wanderlust : To be with myself and centre of clarity, peace, serenity says:
Can you see pix on the phone?
moist. says:
Yep. If you send to my gmail account.
Gwënniê® ? Old-Bones is struck by wanderlust : To be with myself and centre of clarity, peace, serenity says:
So if i send u the url of the pix you also can't see, lah?
moist. says:
I can see.
Gwënniê® ? Old-Bones is struck by wanderlust : To be with myself and centre of clarity, peace, serenity says:
http://i445.photobucket.com/albums/qq176/bonitochico98/aDSC_0174-2.jpg
http://i445.photobucket.com/albums/qq176/bonitochico98/aDSC_0199-1.jpg
Coz i have no one else to ask now... if you can see them, grey or black?
moist. says:
I don't like it.
Gwënniê® ? Old-Bones is struck by wanderlust : To be with myself and centre of clarity, peace, serenity says:
But if you have to choose a colour?
moist. says:
Grey cos you have too many blacks
Gwënniê® ? Old-Bones is struck by wanderlust : To be with myself and centre of clarity, peace, serenity says:
I like ur reasoning
I had came to the same conclusion myself, to get grey coz i have been getting black and more black dresses with navy blue coming a close second but had needed another's reaffirmation before i proceeded to confirm.
current mood:  amused
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(comment on this) Saturday, November 7th, 2009
gwennie
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10:40a
I need a massage, that much is clear.
First the left and now the right now and you know what's the ultimate? The muscle relexant isn't effective anymore and making things worse coz my limbs felt like being stuck in a limbo (pun unintended) as they border between being strained tight and loose.
So it'pretty obvious that i need a massage to knead all the kinks and knots out of the upper body now coz it seems to be only way out ):
current mood:  uncomfortable
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(comment on this) Friday, November 6th, 2009
bigblackheart
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4:25p
dark luck
on some days, we are meant to be gods.
and gods we are.
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gwennie
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11:31p
For some reason, i didn't sleep well last night and woke up feeling achy and unrested. It didn't help that i had colleagues bugging me for this and that bright early in the day which triggered the Oscar the Grouch within me and i was all snappish and cranky. As if that wasn't bad enough, the ache got progressively worse and towards noon time, a colleague offered to massage my shoulders in an attempt to alleviate the pain and found out that i had a huge lump on the left shoulder, thereby explaining the pain. By then, i was all exhausted and drained from concentrating at work and ignoring the nagging pain.
Despite the pain, i must say that i have been pretty productive today though it probably should be the case since it's the last lap and i must cheong and get it over and done with soon. I was sorely, pun unintended, tempted to just give the trip out a miss again and heaven knows i have a valid reason this time. But i hung on and sorta forced myself to get as much done as i could and haul myself out to the library first and then to Vivocity which had been the subject of my procrastination for so darn long.
It was a somewhat fruitful trip coz i picked up masks from TFS, a faux wooden hairband and beaded necklace from Diva and dark chocolate Kit Kat and a waffle chips from Candy Empire, with dinner at Akashi to wash everything down. It was, however, disappointing that i could find any nice Hawaiian/resort-y flower from F21 or Diva to go with my Cotton On dress for the D&D next week. Of coz, i still have a couple of days more to scour for one since i need to get a short petticoat for the dress too but well, at the rate that my body is protesting, i'm trying my best to hang on in there till then. Probably to rest over the weekend and then it will be one appointment after another next week, scheduling shopping for D&D items, dinner with JTLS (maybe), pedicure, dinner with Jon and D&D for the five work days next week.
That said, i gotta remember to send my suit for drycleaning and throw some stuff in tomorrow or Sunday at least. Then come next week, to print out whatever stuff that i have not printed out and start packing or else it's gonna be too late. Sigh.
current mood: drained
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(comment on this) Thursday, November 5th, 2009
bigblackheart
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11:44p
my turn
said my piece today. life these coming few months will be all up in the air.
had some beer in the evening. failed in abstinence.
came home feeling low in energy for some reason. maybe too much smoking.
sat around for a couple of hours before showering just now.
suddenly, i feel motivated to play a dj set.
looking forward to tomorrow's masterclass with park chan-wook.
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gwennie
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10:12p
While craving for char siew rice
Dinner was a banana, a layer of sausage bun skin, two slices of toasts, a bottle of Vitagen and winter melon soup.
current mood:  tired
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gwennie
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8:44p
I was awake but not awake and the alarm woke me up for a change at 6.30am
Four consecutive days of frocks but it's definitely jeans tomorrow.
current mood: tired
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twistified
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4:32p
achieving bigger things for dummies
everything just went wrong today.
my item list for my weekly report has quadrupled.
my boss said out loud in exasperation that she's got more things to remember than me, and there i was confusing her. matters were made worse when i wrote rubbish on my email.
morning was nothing pleasant either, a perceived lack of affection for my other half is making me feel crap too.
nothing i say or do went down well.
everyone is just striking me out. cross cross cross.
sigh...am i not destined for bigger things?
why is it that at moments when it matters most, i screw up?
and why are my mistakes more glaring than others?
this despite me making a promise to focus more on work than facebook and what-nots.
does this signify that if i can't handle whatever's in my task-box now, i can never move up a corporate ladder? and that i should just be content with what i've got now?
does that mean god designed me to be as inferior?
*looks up the sky
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