i want to read "The Jungle" by Upton Sinclair (even though it's bound to be full of sadness.)
I've decided Queen is my favourite band of all time.
I want to drop, but they might not let me live here anymore if I do and I don't want to leave my roomie.
I don't even have time to do my homework anymore....or to sleep...or to clean...or to socialize like I should.
I guess I should find out if I can still stay here next semester (provided I don't fail out of school) and maybe talk to my advisor about dropping BIC and about this doulbe major/5 year senior thing.
i guess i just realized that, but i'm so confused right now que no estoy segura.
at 11:30 this morning, i got a call to interview to be an RA in the "megaultra"preppy dorm on campus. that was sooo odd.
so i got about 3 random hours of sleep last night in the basement.
my friend who i was studying w/(and always study w/when we have to pull all nighters to get crap done) passed out this morning around 11 or something. i scheduled my interview for 3:30 when i called the lady and i told her i might be visiting a friend in the hospital later. then i got a call from the lady in charge of my dorm. this was about 5 minutes after i called the hospital seeing if my friend was there. i called the # in the phone book--they said she was in the waiting room of the E.R., then connected me. the (british!) lady who i spoke to then said she wasnt in there. anyhoo, it was probably less than 5 minutes after i hung up when i got a call asking if i could pick maggy up (because i had her keys). ha it was so funny driving in this crazy small town.....i don't think i had ever ever done it before. i couldnt find 4th street, so i called people including Maggy herself, Nora, and Marcus, but no one picked up. haha what good is a cell phone if i STILL can't talk to you? ha it's all good though.
if i am still here at this crappy school next year, i have no idea where i will live. most likely in the damned dorms with some shitty psychotic roommate. i have been told i must keep a "C" average this semester so i can get an apartment--that is not going to happen. plus, there's all this other crap.
and there is no one here who will be in a glam band with me--i know this already.
i hate this place so much.
it's funny, cos the 2 people i hang out with most here are nothing at all like me (nor are their opinions like mine) it's a strange world.
and then there's this strange, strange issue related to one of my co-workers......
i really want to go home this weekend. i don't know completely why, but pretty much.
i really wish i could be a theatre major.
i doubt i will play bass for Sean or that the political punk band with him on drums and with Marisa will pan out either.
i kind of (for some reason) want to go to Haiti with the college group over spring break. it sounds like a really awesome trip.
AND i have to do laundry.
not even hot hot pirates in eyeliner could make my life (espc. @ this stupid school) happy.
i want to sleep.
So some random white male in a sedan (He looked like he was dressed up.) who may or may not have had someone with him and who may or may not have looked vaguely familiar to me honked/waved at me when i was walking near CG. I was actually in the midst of my daily "constitutional" (which is running for 5 steps and then walking for 6 and repeating for 2.4 miles, and lasts about 30 minutes--also, daily=once each month and a half--give or take a year or four.). I have no idea who the hell this could have been... Um...maybe he thought I was someone else and I waved wondering who he was while I was thinking "Why is he waving?" While I was waving, maybe he thought I thought he was someone else and he waved wondering who I was while he was thinking "Why is she waving?" I honestly don't know who that was!!!
[What random/indistinguishable/well-dressed white male in a sedan do I know who was driving off campus on 8th (?) Street on this R-A-N-D-O-M Saturday at about 5 p.m.??]
Ah well, one more person on campus who thinks I'm just another random out-of-shape kid....
so if i'm going to get married one of these days, i need to have the arms for my dress (e.g. nice lean tricepts) hardy har har!
i usually never even pay attention to the select mood deals. there are too many of them anyways. i don't need to box myself in by claiming a mood.
i have a huge exam tomorrow--i have a "D" in that class right now, so i could either dictate that i will get an "F" in the class or redeem myself tomorrow. i know i will fuck it up. i know i will be on probation for this semester's grades. gosh after this semester is over, i will be completely miserable for at least the next semester, and maybe not quite as bad after. my question is, will i even be able to come back to school next semester? i know my family does not have the money/anything else to put up w/this bullshit. what the hell happened? i really should have dropped BIC... i bet i would actually be doing really well if i would have. well, gosh, i don't know where i will live next year. there is no chep place at home to live alone--especially without transportation. ugh. i will have to take the bus to get to work, that is, if i can find a job. gosh last year i always said i would be a street punk cos of failing out of school, but now it is finally becoming a reality.
1)"nice hair" oy.
2)i like your skirt, i saw you earlier today. she blew it. "trucker hat boy"
tues=was going to ask Ian about his hot friend who was flirting w/me. Ian was not in class.
Wednesday=today=I saw Benji for the first time in a whiiiillle. suggested we should jam.
went to the library to work on my project--all the good computers were taken. walked past lifegroup leader twice and i wasn't exactly sure of his name but i think i had it right. anyways, i didnt talk to him. i hope he doesnt think i'm a rude rude child who was snubbing him. gar.
on way to stairs, saw Sam and officially met him for the first time. upstairs i saw this kid named Peter. these last two kids are in BIC, so we mentioned essayage in both convos.
crunch time has not/now (choose one) started. things will get worse 1) when i go to work 2) when i get off of work 3)if i do badly on this crap. 4) if i sleep through either/both like i did two weeks ago when i pulled a huuuge all nighter. so yeah, i figured out that those don't work for me. and i feel bad for falling asleep at 1 and not waking up til 4 this morning cos i left a friend in her car to sleep but i was supposed to have gone to study w/her @ 1:30.....i'm sorry! friend proceeded to refer to me as somewhat of a little Satan sitting on her shoulder when i told her to skip our 1 p.m. she went.
let's see how ALL this goes....(hoping it's all good)
things are so well?
i havent added to this in a while. i shouldnt be adding right now because it is distracting me from writing my paper it's a good thing i actually took notes in class (when i went) i reallllly want to drop bic. it just seems like i would have soo much more free time/better grades because there would be less work. man i just need to make it through the semester i realllllyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy need to just pull off C's this semester. if i am still at school here next year, i was considering taking up a double major (by adding theatre). maybe if i did that i would get out of class before 4 so i would be able to work the opening shift (at work).
so, if anyone knows anything about the republic of F'ing plato or Aristotle's Nicomachean Ethics, we should have some discussions about the best way of life and whatnot before thursday. (which would help me with my paper and forge a new friendship--it's a win-win HaHa)
I finally got to see the Spaniels tonight. it was funny. haha i liked the collins girls as pedestrians song.
what a funny kid. i enjoyed his set.
added incentive for me to not fail out of this place=our band, and the possibility of it actually materializing next semester (and us actually learning to play guitar well--hahaha)
Well, I am writing most of the stuff from my class notes right now, which is good and probably bad in a way, but at least it is giving me material for the paper.
Pray for me?
(i'm horrible--me and my religion of convenience)
(that was supposed to be a musical note--supposed to...)
i'm about to go to sleep cos it would suck ass to sleep through a midterm. i prob shouldnt even be up this late studying this hard (haha i hope i'm overachieving--"Lord knows it would be the first time.")
I REALLY need to get more Smith's songs. gosh i *square* them....Morrissey=genius. hm. twould be a worthwhile band t-shirt to acquire. ha the only band shirts i have ever owned are a) a free Skullening one and b)the groceries haha both acquired this summer. reasons for the lack of such attire: a) don't care enough to get them, even for bands with which i am enamoured b) i forget to remember c) *shrug* d) it doesn't even matter enough to me. yeah. so these reasons are overlapping aka repetitive aka redundant. that's the key. being redundant. redundance is good. study. study. study.
going to sleep w/in 10 minutos.
.....Under Pressure-Queen and David Bowie.....
GLAM ROCK is lovely
DCFC--Company Calls Epilogue
You are: 80% or 90% Canadian!!
Wow, you've got it all, kid! You've lived here all you're life, you know what hockey is, (and probably who every player on the Toronto Maple Leafs is), you've eaten a beaver tail, and you've seen "Talking to Americans"! There's not much more Canadian you can be!
the girl across the hall always blasts shit music. i hate it. but sometimes she plays AFI--although it's not old school, so it's still not too very hott, but it's better than creed and pop-punk/emo shit.
Gosh I always spend so much money when I get to go home (and get out and actually do things.)
Why is my computer being so slow today?
It screwed up completely on me when I was trying to e-mail some homework right before class, so I missed social world again. I have had sooo many absences/tardies in all of my classes. This is not to mention zeros I have received because of things I just have not turned in. Oooh and missed quizzes are something I have not even considered yet. I got a zero yesterday because I did not do my breakout work for science class. I was 10 minutes late to cultures because I was printing out my crap (oh, by the way, i delayed class because i was leading the class presentation--points off for that one). I finally turned in my project yesterday (It was due Thursday morning). Yeah--that was the day i completely slept through my production lab AND social world. Why am I so irresponsible?! I really don't think I will be able to make C's this semester. That's what I need to keep my scholarships, and that's all I am asked to get, since I have a previous record of being a shitty student. Fuck. My family is paying so much for me to go here and I doubt I will even make D's this semester. You know, dying and going to heaven right now would not be such bad timing....
Another thing, I always study better when I go back home, and I find that odd since it seems like there would be more distractions there. Well, I haven't been home at all this semester. I bet this will be an interesting weekend. If you love me, pray that I can pull off all C's this semester so I don't have to live in the deepest pit of my self-induced hell over Christmas break. (If I get any D's/F's, hell time for me.)
What the fuck...
..I wish I was a minimalist, but I never shall be..
I have had an hour and a half of sleep between 1 p.m. Thursday and right now. Maggy, Nora, and I stayed up all night writing our essays for Cultures and listening to music to prevent insanity.
I just got back from chillin'. We went to Toby's. There was a "show"--haha. I said "Aaaw" to describe the cuteness of the attire of some of the kids there. This one kid had a Rancid-hawk goin' on. Ha it was funny and strange. The kids I favoured the most were the ones sitting in the dark part of the parking lot who were just sort of loitering and whatnot. They made me sentimental. *single tear*
Then we went to CG--fun. Mi amiga had to borrow some of my clothes this morning, so I scrounged up a black shirt and grey business woman's skirt for her...she got compliments, which was cool. Earlier today I was wearing her colour motif (by the way, I change outfits--or at least a single garment from my ensemble--about twice daily usually). I was wearing a brown skirt and bright green t-shirt. I just thought the trade off between us and our colour schemes today was amusing. Well, not THAT amusing...but sufficiently so.
Ha and I just realized the hotness of this guy who works @ CG. I was previously completely blinded by his "Look at me, I'm punk." clothes. I'm sure I am being too critical on the poor guy (Yes, sadly enough, I am a bitch.), but he is quite hott. Heh. Well, it was a fun Friday night.
I was supposed to have given up on carbs/processed sugars for a week starting this afternoon. I did not give up bananas or peanut butter, because they are mainstays of my diet. I had "candy coffee" and a smoothie tonight (shared them)...maybe I should more accurately say I'm cutting down on carbs/processed sugars. Gosh, it seems like it might be easier to go vegan....but cheese.......hahahaha.
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