4:28PM - sucks
So after reading my past entries, I’ve decided to make them private, and saw how ive really been feeling. Let’s just say the first was in March and titled 'it bit me in the ass' and the mood was worried. The second was in April and it was titled 'the petals are falling' and it was depressed. Now it is 'sucks'. And id say the mood is not as extreme just kind of melancholy.
My description of what I'm feeling would be good to tell with a story about rock climbing. (Since I'm a dork and everything must be sports or outdoor related.)
Climbing through the woods, and jogging along trails, I see a mountain up ahead. Nothing too big or intimidating, in fact there is something inviting about its presence. So I jog up to it. I walk around the base of it for awhile, contemplating about taking it on. Pick a few flowers that are growing widely up its side. I throw my baggage down and pull out my gloves and shoes, ready to climb. I climb up for awhile, surprised by how easy and comfortable it seems. The mountain seems to reveal itself to me as it welcomes me up it. It's colorful and full of life. Mid-way a couple rocks come lose when I try to grab them. They cannot support my weight and tumble to ground. I quickly grab a more stable spot; making up for what was just loss. I smile up at the sun that has just breeched the top of the mountain, take a deep breath and continue to climb. Once I get to the top I will have an amazing view of the world. Finally after scraping my knees a couple more times, I pull myself to its plateau. I am so happy. Looking around I realize how empty the mountaintop is, and how alone I am. Looking over the edge, to get a breath taking view I see that it’s cloudy. I can't see anything. These damn rain clouds are in my way. I reach into a little pocket and pull out some seeds. I think I’ll plant them here. Maybe when the clouds clear these flowers will have the chance to grow. Or maybe this mountain top will never see light. "Until then good mountain” and i begin my descent.
gloomy