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Meela

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i love thursday so much.... SO MUCH. [Monday

November 15th, 2004 @ 6:52pm]
The stage is set to rip the wings from a butterfly
the stage is set
the stage is set don't forget to breathe
between line
if the whole world dies
then it's safe to take the stage
these graves will stretch
like landing on strips hospitals. all the dead museums
we won't have to be afraid anymore.
The crowd is growing silent with the gathering storm.
When the curtain falls
and you're caught on the other side

just trying to keep up the act

we'll lie in the back of black cars
with the windows rolled up
joining the precession of



emptiness




if we say these words
it will be too late to take them back.
Comment + MemoriesEdit

[Tuesday

October 19th, 2004 @ 10:02pm]
I miss you.
Well I miss you so far
And the collision of your kiss that made it so H A R D

Back home
Off the run
Singing songs that make you slit your wrists
It isn't that much fun
Staring down a loaded gun
So I won't stop dYiNg
Won't stop lYiNg
If you want I'll keep on crYiNg
Did you get what you deserve?
Is this what you always want for me?

I miss you.
Well I miss you so far
And the collision of your kiss that made it so hard
Comment + MemoriesEdit

[Monday

October 18th, 2004 @ 1:54pm]
the normal boring stuff
+ name. marla
+ birthday. jan 10th 1989
+ nicknames. Meela Milo Moose Marla[Hooch], MOTT
+ location. lyndeborough
+ what are you doing right now? sitting typing. listening to musica
+ what are you wearing? plaid pj pants, my "kiss me im irish socks", some undergarments haha, a tee shirt, my aero sweatshirt, and andrew's nike sweatshirt,
+ do you like your neighbors? i dont know them well
+ whats your magic number? i am without a MAGIC number
+ do you smoke drink or do drugs? drink OCCASIONALLY and i mean occasionally.

what comes to mind when you hear these names..
+ blair. hair
+ shannon. bonfire
+ thomas. telephone
+ scott. freckles
+ lawrence. massachusetts
+ aaron. nelson
+ heather. herbs
+ mallory. softball
+ chaquita. good juice

favorites
+ color. dont have one
+ friend. shealenno
+ car. damn it. i should be good at this by now
+ food. pollo
+ drink. something tastey hah.
+ store. depends
+ outfit. jeans, tee, some type of jacket or sweatshirt.. actually i lied i LOVE My pjs
+ song. right now - Trapt "stories" (im revisiting old memories)
+ singer. singgggerrr .. uh rapper i can answer Tupac
+ movie. Like i could pick one
+ pair of socks. my little tommy hilfiger ones
+ saying. oh bother
+ animal. shetland sheep dog

when was the last time you..
+ showered. last morning?
+ kissed some one. saturday perhaps.
+ went to a movie. a whilllllle ago. Without a Paddle. With ali, andrew, tom.
+ cried. this morning haha. my mom tends to be mean when i wanna stay home from school
+ talked on the phone. no idea.
+ paged someone. nope.
+ lied. im bored
+ cheated on someone. have not.
+ ate nerds. next time i have some money ill get some
+ drank welchs grape juice. um......a while.
+ watched the country channel. country SUCKS
+ shaved ANY part of you body and what part. legs sat. maybe?

random
+ are you a virgin? mhm
+ what did you do on Halloween? well i went to jode face's last year. this year on halloween night i may go trick-o-treating with al-myster.
+ whats your favorite Scary movie? no me gusta
+ do you belive in magic? negatory.
+ whats your favorite magazine? i dont read magazines
+ whats your middle name? lavelle. im thinking about going by Marla Lavelle.
+ favorite Disney character? NO!! i object.
+ what brand of deodorant do you use? clean & clear .. and adidas. hah
+ do you like Pickles? depends
+ do you have a website? si senor
+ do you have your own phone line? una cellular telefono
+ your thoughts on abortion? pro choice.
+ do you like britney spears? i dont care. it's not like she is my neighbor why should i waste my time hating someone[harmless] i dont know. ... er.
+ What do you want for Christmas? simple things. such as dryer lint ;)
+ what do you want to do with your life? something that makes me content
+ would you ever get plastic surgery if so on what? if i became like managled and weird[er] looking maybe. but not just because im unhappy with the way i am to start with.
+ last time you went to the bowling alley? last sunday. :D woo woo
+ what perfume/cologne do you wear? a&fnow or tommy girl. Then Endless Love (by vic secret), and some other like vanilla spray stuff haha.
+ do you like jell-o if so what flavor? cherry
+ brand of toothpaste? eh. i dont pay enough attention i can draw the bottle. thats about it.
+ last time you went to the doctor? a few months ago
+ do you have a credit card? a 25$ gift certificate one haha.
+ do you love your mom? mm
+ do you love your mom as much as norman bates did in PSYCHO? n/a
+ ever taken ballet? yes for many many years
+ favoite juice? mango something or other.
+ most attracitve person? n/a
+ last book you read...was it good? um. Inside a thugs heart. or something. yeah i read it all in one shot, on a hotel bathroom floor. (i couldnt sleep in Penn.) woo.
+ white, dark, or milk chocolate? milk
+ ever died your hair? just highlights
+ What brand shampoo? Dove. then some VO5 stuff
+ thing you hate most about your body? stomach
+ last time you smoked? like in 5th grade haha
+ last thing you bought? gum [figures]

more random..
+ are you stressed out...if so from what? most of the time. various things
+ what do you wear to the beach? ropa. not rope. ROPA is spanish, people. for clothing. yeah yeah. ok.
+ do you believe in angels? My question...do you believe in light bulbs?
+ would you ever join the army? no id die.
+ do you want a puppy? ssiiiiii
+ Favorite icing? pillsbury kind .. with funfetti. hah who's the fat kid? im the fat kid. even though i never have it. whatever haha. i lose.
+ last time you were scared. this morning i was paranoid.
+ by what? memories. er. or just being upset when i was barely awake makes you think weird things.
+ what detergent do you use? tide.
+ what fabric softner do you use? cottonell
+ are your nails real or fake? real... REAL FAKE... er... bad.. mm. oh oh im such a comic. not hey are real.
+ do you work out? volleyball
+ are u muscular? on my legs. sometimes.
+ do you take a lot of pictures? sporadicly.
+ favorite tv show? law & order: svu, degrassi, true life, made
+ do you want a baby? maybe someday
+ ever thought u were pregnant? unless i got pregnant by some alien force?? no.
+ last time you were sick? this morning i guess?
+ butter or margarine? butter.
+ your feelings on mcdonald chicken nuggets? NO
+ do you believe in santa clause? do i EVER!
+ do you go to a tanning bed? nope, i was meant to be blindingly pale :). enjoy folks.
+ do you have a car? no
+ do you have your license? sometime in the next few months i hope.
+ how do you get around? the p-units.
+ are you dissatisfied with your hair color? mm. no or else id change it. but i was thinking maybe i should like do something interesting with it. because whne you are like 40 you cant liek dye your hair different colors.. or like do cool things with it because then you're too old. i still wouldnt dye my hair a COLOR COLOR, cause id ont like but still.
+ what kind of jewelry do you wear? rings, watch, necklace, earings
+ do you have a cellie? yes yes i do.
+ favorite kind of gum? extra... any kind
+ would you ever get a tattoo? yeah .. small though

even more random..
+ do u like coffee..: i love the smell, and i dont mind it. but it has to be sweet.
+ favorite lip gloss? tastey kind.
+ do you wear a watch? occasionally
+ sunglasses? i own some. i dont often wear sunglasses though. hah ai dont often. bah who am i.
+ ever use nair....if so where? nope
+ ever been to the mall of America? no. isnt it in like montana or something
+ are you online a lot? too much

more.
+ number of times I have been in love: 1ish
+ number of times I have had my heart broken: 2
+ number of hearts I have broken: 1 but it doesnt even count
+ number of boys I have kissed: really kissed... 3 just kissed like 6
+ number of girls I have kissed. none like that.
+ number of men I've slept with: im a virgin.
+ number of continents I have lived in: 1. but briefly (2 weeks) on another.
+ number of drugs taken illegally: uh none i dont think.
+ number of people I would classify as true, could trust with my life type friends: uh a few.
+ number of people I consider my enemies: noone
+ number of people from high school that I stayed in contact with: im in hs
+ number of cd's: i have not counted.
+ number of piercings: one in each ear. cartilage at some point!
+ number of tattoos: none
+ number of times my name has appeared in the newspaper: quite a few time for sports & school
+ number of scars on my body: too many
+ number of things in my past that I regret: uh sort of a lot?
Comment + MemoriesEdit

hm okay [Monday

October 18th, 2004 @ 1:38pm]
I dont use this journal regularly anymore. Ill probably just use this account for communities n such. If you want to read my updated journal just leave a comment.

Mm. yeah that about it for now. :)

happy ramblings.
Comment + MemoriesEdit

part of my AQOTWF report. i need to have it online just incase my pc craps out [Monday

August 30th, 2004 @ 12:55pm]
by mf

War wears down on everyone involved, no matter how big or small the involvement. The book All Quiet on the Western Front by Erich Maria Remarque, lets us look into the lives of some young men, one in particular who went through all the terrors of World War I. This 296-page story is historic fiction. A. W. Wheen translated the book from German. The Ballantine Publishing Group published this book in the United States. The First Ballantine Books Edition was published in August on 1982.
Erich Remarque wanted to give a story of how horrific the war was. As he says before he begins the book “It will simply try to tell of a generation of men who, even though they may have escaped shells, were destroyed by war.” The book does have action and battles, but it is more about the mental parts of war. The fact that this “generation of men” is no longer individuals but rather soldiers all fighting for their “homeland” but more accurately just trying to survive another day. Whether or not their survival the war takes a part of them that they will never get back.
It is clear that many of the German soldiers aren’t fighting out of patriotism. The soldiers are merely a pawn for the high-powered leaders to use to get what they want. This novel really opens eyes to the fact many of these soldiers did not even talk about what they were fighting for. The real reason became irrelevant. The war and their lives became pure chaos and they were only thriving on instincts, and just kept pushing on.
Another important point that this book concentrates on is the bonds and friendships that are formed. When faced with life or death, the friendships around you are the strongest and deepest possible. Their fellow soldiers became the closest things to their hearts, when there family was miles away.
Something that goes hand in hand with war is death. Along the lines with the theme that men no longer were individuals, also the cost of one man’s life no longer seemed like much. Remarque drives this point home in the concluding chapter. This generation of men was either killed in battle, or dead inside their hearts. They had been torn of their spirits, torn of their individualities, and torn of their lives.
When I received this book for summer reading I was not all too thrilled to have to read it, but I found the saying “don’t judge a book by it’s cover” to have been proved true. After finished the book I realized how much insight this book gave into the hearts of young soldiers, and really it gave birth to a whole new view on war.
Remarque gave a very good description and feeling of how it felt for the soldiers, and what they were going through mentally. He made a big statement on the perspective of war from a soldiers’ point of view, that I have never experienced reading or seeing before. My only criticism is there is lot’s of detail spent on little details, but in all fairness it was needed to make the story more whole.
It is very important for my generation and others to come, to understand what men went through so we can live peacefully. Though this book is from the perspective of a German soldier, the heartbreak of war is universal. Remarque made it very clear what that war was, and how we can all learn from it, and try to prevent it in the future. He showed us how the war took away a generation of men all around the world.
Comment + MemoriesEdit

here it comes folks [Sunday

August 29th, 2004 @ 1:07am]
[ mood | blank ]
[ music | Unknown Artist - DJ Rimk - Ragga Rap Remix 2001 - Chaka Khan, Mr Vegas, Lil Kim, Method Man, Wu ]

first off well haha ive gotten so used to like minimalizing my entries. cutting them bare and dry. (on livejournal) getting straight to the point. so that the public doesnt think im crazy and have even less of a life. plus i usually just write to get it out of me and sometimes it is remotely interesting to read it later.

well lately ive been hanging outwith alex and andrwe and tom and ali and all of them a lot more. like every night this week.

i like andrew. i mean he gives me SUCH like mixed signals. im not saying that i want to a boyfriend right now i just wish like... idk im just afraid that he is goign to just like STOP liking me or something. I always like get all closed up when is start liking someone because im idk weird liek that i guess?

anyway he really confuses me because like half of the time he doesnt talk to much then the other half he is like trying to pick me up or flirt with me. i prefer the latter of the two. eh i mean he doesnt want to have a girlfriend right now - i know this by way of ali. but it's not like i REALLY want a boyfriend right now anyway.

pete has been there too. he is alright. whatever. ali and him were flirting a lot tonight hehe.

it always gets better liek after 8 at the homes days things. but i always have to leave first at like 9.. sigh. andrew is goign to alex's tonight and i guess alex doesnt have a computer at that house or something.

i dont mind flirting with alex either but that is idk nothing. Ali has become a realyl good friend of mine lately she is just a lot of fun to talk to and hangout with.

another "gal pal" i have is jaymie. we went to maine together she is just really laid back and cool to talk to. plus we relate on a lot of things.

so my "group" going into the school year is. ali, tom, alex, andrew, jaymie. then volleyball people sort of.

sigh... i feel bad for shea. i wish i could hangout with her right now cause it seems like the world is sort of just crapping on her. sigh i want to adopt her.

-- later on

there is so much drama .. it just hurts to see shea get hurt. and it is hard knowing both sides and know that there isnt anyone can do or say to help the situation or make it any better.

tonight sucks.

just overall damn. im like stressed in a subdued way. i wish like andrew or something was here. someone just to talk to .

i sort of feel like crying - or i did feel like it anyway. all ive eaten today is like swedish fish. im such a fatass but oh well. it's so warm. i dont realyl have anyone to talk to. col is on but i dont dare complain to him. im not sure even what'd id say. i dont have anything to turn to. not si. not anyone. not anything. im just caught in feeling bad today. and tomarrow doesnt look like much fun either.

it's weird how a certain point in time this one person knows ever little detail of your life - well most. "general" things. but then just months later they bearly know if you are alive or not. it hurts even if it is indirect and you are just as guilty.

you always end up hiding pieces of yourself from people. I've like hidden myself, from myself. From everyone. Though now i am nothing else. pyscho babble. my head hurts im dizzy - maybe from only have swedish fish. no no i lied i had like a pizza burrito thing. eck....

i feel like S H I T ah . why do i continue to be put through it. why. idk. this sucks i dont know what to do or how to feel or WHY.

so many questions

the nailpolish on my left thumb ceases to exist.

this sucks

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yeah [Friday

August 6th, 2004 @ 1:05pm]
[ mood | grateful ]
[ music | konstantine ]

it seemed just a short time ago that i was still depressed still utterly fucked up

i would question everything, i would sulk and dwell on the "bad stuff" but i dont blame myself. I understand that i was going through something tough, there may be no answer to why i was like that. but i was. i let myself slip into depression and i lost the will to try to escape it. Through christian i started to get back to my self - when we broke up i started letting go entirely. i started feeling free.. but i was scared it was just a phase like the shock of being alone hadnt hit me yet. Just 12 days after our break up on May 10th. i started going out with pete May 22nd 2004. I cant really call that a relationship - all we were, was a title. thats it. We werent close, we bearly spent any time together (not my fault i tried) but i wont be resentful. We are fine now, i guess not allBUDDY BUDDY but we are fine. That had to have been the best breakup i had ever had. basically because we both just wanted to be single because we werent attached to eachother at all. Before we broke up i was really happy to just get it over with. After i felt a little uncertain because this whole mental "aloneness" got in the way. But in reality i had already been "alone" haha. So we broke up and i felt good.

Its not like i have tons of people to flirt with or anyone i have a crush on. Cause i dont. Just it is good not to have to expect something from someone and then get dissapppointted over and over because they totally destroy what you expected.

So now im single. After spending 3 weeks with shea ive been doing great. after seeing that there are honestly the coolest people out there still. is very helpful. I understand wilton & lyndeborough are really small towns. but i know the people i would be great friends with ARE out there.

As far as WLC. Coming back to NH i cried hahaaa.. well i did. ::shrugs:: maybe id miss shea, maybe i was regretting having to come back here. I mean the truth is i dont have any close friend here. Like i mean i have good friends, old friends. But noone i completely gel with. But the one week i was home (this one) i made a bunch of plans to do stuff. I only followed through with ONE of those plans haha but still. I realized that i have come back to be "normal" again. I mean sure everyone gets a little emo now and then. But not liek i used to be. Not that crazy and fucked up. But i think it was good for me. It makes me appreciate being happy. ANd it makes me appreciate the small things. ANd it has made me okay with being just okay. I mean i dont have anyone who likes me, and i dont really care honestly. Right now i dont need a guy i dont need to be liked. I just want friends. And i have friends. Im going away with jaymie for a week - and one reason i really wanted to was so that I would get to know jaymie better and go into the school year with a good friend. And then ther is Ali who i get along with really well. And the guys - tom, andrew, alex etc.

Anyway. ive been doing really well. Ive evolved i guess you could say. Slowly and steadily ive been getting better. Going away for two weeks definetly. helped And ill be going away for another.

sigh

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QUESTIONS IF YOUR BORED [Wednesday

August 4th, 2004 @ 3:12pm]
1. Who are you?
2.Do u know my last name? What is it?
3. Do you find me attractive?
4. Am i someone u can trust?
5. Am i funny?
6. Do find me easy to talk to?
7.Would you say im a bad influence?
8.What do you see me doing when i grow up?
9.Do you think i'd like to get married and have kids?
10. Would you marry me?
11.Would you date me?
12. Whats my favorite color?
13.Whats my favorite movie of all time?
14.What is my nationality?
15.How well do you know me?
16. would you make out with me?
18.Do i smoke?
20. Whats my favorite good feel song?
21. What color are my eyes?
22.Whats my best feature?
23. Could you fall in love with me?
24. Do i believe in love at first sight?
25. Can you count on me?
26. Do you wish you knew me better?

____

1. Who are you?

2. Are we friends?

3. When and how did we meet?

4. Do you have a crush on me?

5. Would you kiss me?

6. Give me a nickname and explain why you picked it.

7. Describe me in one word.

8. What was your first impression?

9. Do you still think that way about me now?

10. What reminds you of me?

11. If you could give me anything what would it be?

12. How well do you know me?

13. When's the last time you saw me?

14. Ever wanted to tell me something but couldn't?

15. Are you going to put this on your blog and see what I say about you?

16. What dont you like about me?

17. What do you like the most about me?

18. Whats my favorite color?

19. Where am i ticklish?
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sigh [Friday

July 30th, 2004 @ 9:48am]
[ music | usher / the 8701 cd ]

im reading all my old poems.. and it makes me sort of sad. I did read a positive one 'appreciate me' i have really changed in the past six months. a lot.

i am sort of like -whatever-ish about the next year coming up. I dont really have any close friends in NH that i really like spending a lot of time with - or that i really connect with. I dont want to sound mean or stuck up or picky. but those are the facts. I see that there are some really cool people that friend now im just on friendly-sort of friend. with. Hopefully over the next year i will become a better friend with them

It just seems like NH all the people i would get along with well are more into drugs or what not. I know that doesnt mean anything, because i have my morals and what not. BUT i still wish there were more people up there like there are down here. But there are a lot more people down here - unlike little WLC & all of NH.

im kind of skeptical about sophmore year. Just because i think it will be so foriegn. I have confirmed with myself that i am def not depressed anymore because even now when i read some of those poems im like -daaayum what is wrong with you girl- yes when i talk to myself im ghetto? hah.

Anyway things will be alright - they must turn out alright. I just cant let myself slip into all that other crap again

:\

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oo [Friday

July 23rd, 2004 @ 2:48pm]
MMysterious
AAmbivalent
RRadiant
LLight
AAmazing

Name / Username:


Name Acronym Generator
From Go-Quiz.com
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hmmm [Wednesday

July 21st, 2004 @ 3:23pm]
[ mood | pissed off ]
[ music | Track 5 ]

*At least if you break me, you're still here to make me feel something. I'd rather you break me than make me feel nothing. Because if we go down it's down together. This heart could be broken down forever. "It's a nice day for a White Wedding" but loving you still feels like a funeral.*

i had something to write in here, but not i cant quite remember.

--

im annoying and rightfully so

it doesnt KILL a person to like IM someone or call someone. it takes seconds literally... bastard. idk he really just has like no respect for me or my feelings and quite frankly that sucks.

i dont even like care if i get to talk to him in person anymore. i just want like this probelm to be over. i just want to not have to have it over my head each day wondering when ill solve it. so FUCK YOu for being such a prick. ah man it just PISSES me off... i dont want to break up online. ill settle for phone. Just if he is going to be like this all the time i dont see how we can even try to start over or 'date'.

psht

whatever. FUCK YOU :)

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perfect........ [Tuesday

July 20th, 2004 @ 10:19pm]
[ music | Something Corporate - Konstantine ]

Don't waste your time on a guy who won't waste his time on you!*

this quote has been lurking around me

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as the days fly.... [Monday

July 19th, 2004 @ 10:28pm]
[ mood | drained ]
[ music | Something Corporate - Konstantine ]

Copyright, Jenni (from psyke.org poetry)

The cuts
lead to scars
scars tell stories
which no one
understands
no one
but
me

--------------------

one of my friends, talked behindme back... and asked them if they have seen how ive changed.

i dont know how to feel about this

its always what ive though

that ive changed

oh well
im apathetic to it at the moment

later

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and if i hurt you.then im sorry.please dont think that this was easy [Monday

July 19th, 2004 @ 10:19pm]
[ mood | drained ]
[ music | Something Corporate - Konstantine ]

i got this song from shea.... and it was just one of those songs i instantly loved.. well she was playing it on the piano for the past like two weeks but whatever.

anyway it made me feel like writing down my 'story' starting with last june. and how i got into what i did, and how it all happened and unfolded. the beggining is the hardest... and ive written it before. but i just started over tonight. an di think ill keep working on it. maybe tomarrow maybe not cause i dont want to be to emotional tomarrow cause pete is coming over to -resolve- things. but id do it at night anyway

whatever

SOMETHING CORPORATE LYRICS

"Konstantine"

I can't imagine all the people that you know
and the places that you go
when the lights are turned down low
and I don't understand all the things you've seen
but i'm slipping inbetween
you and your big dreams
it's always you
in my big dreams

and you tell me that it's over
wake up lying in a patch of four leaf clover
and your restless, and i'm naked
you've gotta get out
you can't stand to see me shaking
no
could you let me go?
I didn't think so

and you don't wanna be here in the future
so you say the present's just a pleasent interruption to the past
and you don't wanna look much closer
cuz your afraid to find out all this hope
you had sent into the sky by now had crashed
and it did
because of me

and then you bring me home
afraid to find out that you're alone
and i'm sleeping in your living room
we don't have much room to live

I had these dreams that i learned to play guitar
maybe cross the country
become a rock star
and there was hope in me that i could take you there
but dammit you're so young
well i don't think i care
and if i hurt you
then i'm sorry
please don't think that this was easy

then you bring me home
cuz we both know what it's like to be alone
and i'm dreaming in your living room
we don't have much room to live

and konstantine is walking down the stairs
doesn't she look good
standing in her underwear
and i was thinking
what i was thinking
we've been drinking and it doesn't get me anywhere

my Konstantine came walking down the stairs
and all that i could do is touch her long blonde hair
and i've been thinking
it hurts me thinking that these nights
when we were drinking no they never got us anywhere
no

this is because i can spell konfusion with a k
and i like it
it's to dying in another's arms and why I had to try it
it's to jimmy eat world and those nights in my car
but this time im alone and I dont see those stars
I'm not your star
isn't that what you said
what you thought this song meant

and if this is what it takes
just to lie in my mistakes
and live with what i did to you
and all the hell I put you through
I always catch the clock
it's 11:11
and now you want to talk
it's not hard to dream
you'll always be my konstantine

konstantine, they'll never hurt you like i do
no they'll never hurt you like i do
no, no, no no no no no no

this is to a girl who got into my head
with all the pretty things she did
hey
you know
you keep me up in bed
this is to a girl who got into my head
with all the fucked up things i did
hey
maybe
baby
you could keep me up in bed
my Konstantine
spin around me like a dream we played out on this movie screen
and i said
did you know i missed you? [x7]
oh god i miss you

and then you bring me home
and we'll go to sleep, but this time, not alone, no no
and you'll kiss me in your living room
i know
you'll miss me in your living room
cuz these nights i think maybe that i'll miss you in my living room
we don't have much room
i said does anybody need that room?
because we all need a little more room
to live

my Konstantine

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wise words [Monday

July 19th, 2004 @ 1:34pm]
live the life you love.love the life you live
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ehhhhh [Saturday

July 17th, 2004 @ 11:46am]
this morning im having a sort of tough time

i just feel sort of sad, or maybe just frustrated. Maybe it's because im listening to this song haha, oh well.

I just i want respect, i wanted to be treated well... i know i do deserve it.

maybe i should blow off pete today.. and go hangout with kristen i think ill do that. Cause kristen is cool, and peter is being a ..AIS

plus i didnt sleepover keb's last night for her bday. so now we'll just get to hangout
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quotes, complimentary from chaloe's away msg [Thursday

July 15th, 2004 @ 6:18pm]
"the only way to find true happiness is to risk being completely cut open"

"Nothing of me is original. I am the combined efforts of everybody I've ever known"

"Don't do the things you want. Do what you don't want. Do what you're trained not to want. It's the opposite of following your bliss. Do the things that scare you the most"

"Everything before now... is just a story I carry around. I guess that would apply to anyboyd in the world. What I need is a new story about who I am. What I need to do is fuck up so bad I can't save myself"

"Rip yourself open.. sew yourself shut"

"There's no escaping fate, it just keeps going. Day and night, the future keeps coming at you"

- Chuck Palahniuk
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my songg [Thursday

July 15th, 2004 @ 3:22pm]
this side of brightness
What Thursday Song Are You? [Updated Images]

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funny phobias [Wednesday

July 14th, 2004 @ 10:24pm]
Siderophobia- Fear of stars.
Soteriophobia - Fear of dependence on others.
Somniphobia- Fear of sleep.
Sesquipedalophobia- Fear of long words.
Sciophobia Sciaphobia- Fear of shadows.
Pluviophobia- Fear of rain or of being rained on.
Phronemophobia- Fear of thinking.
Phobophobia- Fear of phobias.
Peladophobia- Fear of bald people.
Papyrophobia- Fear of paper.
Optophobia- Fear of opening one's eyes.
Oneirophobia- Fear of dreams.
Numerophobia- Fear of numbers.
Nephophobia- Fear of clouds.
Nelophobia- Fear of glass.
Mnemophobia- Fear of memories.
Metrophobia- Fear or hatred of poetry.
Linonophobia- Fear of string.
Laliophobia or Lalophobia- Fear of speaking.
Kathisophobia- Fear of sitting down.
Ideophobia- Fear of ideas.
Hygrophobia- Fear of liquids, dampness, or moisture.
Heliophobia- Fear of the sun.
Graphophobia- Fear of writing or handwriting.
Geliophobia- Fear of laughter.
Genuphobia- Fear of knees.
Dextrophobia- Fear of objects at the right side of the body.
Chronomentrophobia- Fear of clocks.
Catoptrophobia- Fear of mirrors.
Bufonophobia- Fear of toads.
Barophobia- Fear of gravity.
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wawa wawater [Wednesday

July 14th, 2004 @ 12:31pm]
[ mood | calm ]
[ music | Ice - Nine - BFG ]

i think im going to start a 'summer' journal over at lj and put it in my profile. Just because like this one has too much shit i dont want people to know about in. Well its not that i dont want them to know, its just this is my rambling journal where i can talk about anything. And that one would be shorter n such. I think i will do so. i have to come up with a sn. I was going to do 'apaperbattlefield' but i think i changed my mind. hmm well im going to go do that

Wed: nada
Thurs: go to kee kees
Fri: lil kid soccer & go to kebby's
Sat: soccer & movies later or something

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