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Tuesday, August 9th, 2005
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12:19 am - Perplexed
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Am I a social retard or something? I just don't get people as of late. Well I don't think I ever really got people but lately I am confused by people to the ninth power. So for reasons that will be explained in the messages that I am posting below, I looked up an ex bf and once close friend. Please read the following and tell me what you think.
Me:
Well, an awfully weird chain of events have lead me here. You know of course that I think of you from time to time and I wonder what the hell you are up to.
So I was at a party the other weekend and I met this girl Christina. She was a really cool chick and she told me she was from Bloomfield. Of course I thought of Alanna and you. She is about a year or so younger than us but she remembers Alanna. So ever since then I've been thinking about you. And I just joined my space and boom, there you are. So maybe you can drop me a line sometime and let me know what you've been up to. I think it must be something like 4-5 years since we last spoke.
Meany:Makes perfect sense to me, Sima.
About two weeks ago, a co-worker also mentioned Bloomfield. And (you guessed it) they too knew Alana "The Dreamy Spanish Outlaw" Acosta. What a girl. *flashes bedroom eyes
Y'know, that doesn't explain a damn thing about how we're chatting again, but I'm gonna roll with it nevertheless.
How'm I doing? Well. *folds hands .. I'm happily married. I am now a Born-Again Christian. And, hehehe, the funny thing is-- I was born again on my actual birthday .. I mean, how funny is that! I drive a hybrid electric car and I just love being vegetarian. Oh, damn that President Bush!
Me:
What can I say? Was it wrong of me to assume you would be at least a little serious with me? Just a teeny bit? Well I know you aren't a born again married vegetarian. As for how we got to talking again... well I've been thinking about you and miss and care enough about you to think it was worth trying to find you. Thanks to the magic of my space I found you. Seems simple enough.
Since you won't tell me what is going on with you, I'll tell you what is up with me. I remember the last instant message you sent me-" i'm off to fix copters" or something to that effect. The last time we spoke on the phone I told you about my bf George. We are engaged now. Wedding is set for OCt 2007. I am 1 year away from graduation, MA in media studies. I hope to go to Rutgers for my MLS sept 06. And there is some more stuff of course. But now you have to tell me some things too.
Meany:
Are you so sure that I'm not married? After all, I am on MySpace .. Word on the street is that they were gonna call it "CyberHookUps.com," but that name was taken by a Japanese tow-truck company.
And would I still be skinny (dramatic pause) on a diet of sodium-rich red meat?
It's terribly sweet of you to miss me enough to spur a manhunt, Sima. I pray to Jesus that you'll forgive the games I'm playing with you, because they won't be half as fun once we're all caught up.
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What the fuck? Seriously. I was friends with that guy all through high school. Pretty much from freshman year on. Yes I did the dumping but we did remain friends after that so I know that isn't the problem. Well I suppose I should thank him for reminding me why we lost touch. He has the maturity of a 13 year-old. Do all agree? Or am I blowing this out of proportion? Maybe those we loose touch with are meant to stay lost.
current mood:  confused
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(2 comments | comment on this)
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| Thursday, August 4th, 2005
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11:50 pm - My Space
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Obviously I have way too much time on my hands. I've joined my space. So make me feel loved and if you are on there as well, add me as your friend. Pretty please.
Check me out!
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(1 comment | comment on this)
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| Monday, August 1st, 2005
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11:02 pm - Life as of late
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So it's been almost a week since I finished my summer course and with a mixture of remorse and joy I can report that I've done pretty much nothing since then. I have spent the past week re-reading all my favorite young adult novels; sunfire series, lioness quartet, and dragonsinger. I've realized that some of those books really were as good as I remember and I am a little less embarassed by my guilty pleasures.
So what next? Well I plan on typing up my very very sad and deficient resume and sending it out to all the local libraries. I will also hit some of the more intimidating and chi chi dept stores like Nordstrom and Neiman Marcus. I'm thinking of Fortunoff but I don't want to work Sundays so I'm not too sure.
I also plan on making a list of every little diet and exercise trick and custom design a diet based on my years of research. I really am so tired of being fat. And I'm tired of being so damn tired all the time. I'm going to be more patient and do a serious life style change, permanent. If I don't start to feel better in another 6 months I am going to start knocking on dr's doors and find out what other disease I could have besides my current 3.
An aside, I went to Lori's going away part sat before last and had an awesome time. All the folks there were cool. Sort of depressing actually. I don't know half as many cool folks. My awesome sweetie has spoiled me a bit, I haven't been making much of an effort to cultivate friends. I met an especially cool chick at Lori's part. She's funny as hell, George liked her too and she's married. Woo hoo. Double dates! We've exchanged e-mails and I'm sure we will hang out soon. She also knows someone in the MLS program at Rutgers and I've been in touch with her. Woo hoo. Oh and I'm doing some matchmaking but I don't want to reveal much more than that in case my subjects are reading.
current mood:  apathetic
current music: national geographic on the tv
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(comment on this)
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| Sunday, July 24th, 2005
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11:35 pm - I'M SO FUCKED!!!!!!!!!!!
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Dear god, get me through this and I promise to never procrastinate again..... Ok, I'll procrastinate a lot less, a lot a lot a lot less. Promise. Cross my heart. My brain is fried. I think I have AADD.
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(comment on this)
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| Tuesday, July 5th, 2005
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2:02 am - I hate flys... and most people too
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4th of July BBQ ala Persian. I fucking love persian bbq. It rocks. Yummmm. I hope we have left overs. I was restrained, only ate 1 kebab. My father's friends tend to suck, at least some of them. These folks tend to be a little too comfy for my taste. They are total slobs, can't be bothered to clean up after themselves even a tiny bit, and they leave the fucking screen door open. My house is now filled with flys, beetles, ants, and flying ants. One particular green fly is in my room. he is the the most stupid fly ever created. My bedroom door has been open for at least an hour and the idiot fly won't leave. I've shooed him in the general direction of my open door at least half a dozen times. he keeps on going behind my open door. I hate flys.
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(comment on this)
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| Thursday, June 30th, 2005
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12:37 am - Am I a Fool?
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I got home just after midnight and hit the kitchen for my after class snack. My brother creaped in soon after with three of his friends, eyes bloodshot. He has summer school at 8am for the 2 classes he failed. He failed 2 classes last year too. He informed me that he would watching a movie with his buddies in the basement and as soon as his friends passed by I went off on him a bit. "You want to stay up until 2am on a school night? Go ahead, you are going to end up just like your uncle(the convict/drug addict)." He started saying something and I cut him off, "Go ahead, do whatever you want with your life be a fuck up"
I wanted to cry. I really was close to tears. I went upstairs set my things down and paced a bit, changed into pj's collected my thoughts. My brother is handsome, charming, fit, funny, intelligent, good sense of style, and some talent at singing and playing the guitar. He could be so much, do so much. What's more, as fucked up as my folks are, especially my dad, as fucked up as they are, they would support him. Yeah they would be fucked up about it in someways I'm sure but for the most part, they would help him out more than hinder him. Oh and he has youth on his side too. If I were 17 again knowing what I do know... I would have done so much more. I went downstairs and pulled my brother into a side room in our basement and gave him a gentle but firm talking to. No more. He deserves better and I expect more. I told him he doesn't have to be a rock star or a buisnessman but he does have to start a path to something and that I want to work with him on it. I told him that I just want him to be find happiness, they kind you can't find just by getting fucked up. He told me he wanted to too. Maybe he was just shutting me up, maybe it was his usual bullshit way out of a sermon. Ok ying me to death. But maybe, just maybe, a tiny bit of it sunk in. And that makes me so hopeful and happy.
current mood:  accomplished
current music: Something Sinister- Belle and Sebastian
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(2 comments | comment on this)
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| Tuesday, June 28th, 2005
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5:11 pm - Negative Nelly Writes Again
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I keep on telling myself I need to start writing for "real" and give up on my bitch fests but.... well I am weak. Sides, once I bitch to everyone I know about my current woes it saves me from unleashing another round upon them all.
I had a shit 24 hours. I made plans with my buddy Chris to meet him at the PATH train station near his apt but after I arrived in Hoboken and told Chris to meet me at the stop in 10 minutes, I learned that Hoboken doesn't have the Journal Sq line and I would have to take a train into the city and then get on another train back to jersey. This would cost me easy another 30 and I didn't want to worry about missing class and keeping chris waiting in the meantime. And I couldn't call him since I had no reception in the path. So I went to school and spent the next 2 hours walking around the city in the pouring rain, getting thoroughly soaked. It is then that I learn my new sandals fucking suck and they were chaffing my toes. I finally gave in and went into a store to buy a new pair and put it on the charge card cause I am going to have a job soon, right? Class was fucking freezing and I was wet so the next 4 hours were hell. Just as I was finally dry, out in the rain again. Where the hell is my umbrella??? I have no clue. Class ran late again, over 15 minutes past and I finally just walked out, had to run to the path in order to catch my train to my train or I wouldn't be home till 1 or 2am. I just made it too.
Today I went for my interview at Macy's, forced to fill out a second application. Don't know why. At the interview I learn that the job I want isn't available. Fine, is there anything that doesn't invlove ringing? Morning merchandising team, 5:30-9:30.... AM. I'm desperate, I'll take it. So I wait almost an hour for the human resource chick to arrange another interview with the merchandising manager. Everything runs smoothly, as she is about to offer me the job, she mentions she won't be able to offer me the same pay as my old job. I'm willing to go down a dollar I tell her. No, they start at 7 something. 7 fucking something dollars an hour for manual labor in a dept store at the crack of dawn???? It's a no go and when the human resource chick comes back she tells me that all positions except for cosmetics and commission gigs start at that. Are you kidding me? I mean shop rite pays at least 8. Not to mention that I would already be taking a pay cut considering the rate of inflation since I last work and the loss of commission. I finally gave in and told her I would consider cosmetics as long as it isn't Estee Lauder my former employee. This fucking sucks. I am 27 with a fucking degree and they want to pay me what my 17-year-old brother makes at a teeny bopper store. How is it that a C student can become president but an honor student can't get a job with a living wage? I've been looking for a job for literally months and I am running out of money and ideas.
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(5 comments | comment on this)
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| Friday, June 17th, 2005
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1:16 am - Learn something about me
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As per Louise's request, I am filling out this questionaire. If you would like, do the same. Copy and paste to your blog and and live a link in my comments section so I know to look for it. Mark all that holds true with an X.
(x) smoked a cigarette
( x) smoked a cigar
(x) smoked anything else
( ) crashed a friend's car
(x) been in love
(x ) been dumped
( ) shoplifted
( ) been fired
( ) been in a fist fight
( ) snuck out of parent's house
(x) had feelings for someone who didn't have them back
( ) been arrested
(x) made out with a stranger
(x) gone on a blind date
(x) lied to a friend
( ) had a crush on a teacher/boss
(x) skipped school
( ) slept with a co-worker
( ) seen someone die
( ) had/have a crush on one of your Livejournal friends
(x ) been to Canada
(x ) been to Mexico
(x) been on a plane
( ) thrown up in a bar
( ) eaten sushi
( ) been snowboarding
( ) gotten with someone BECAUSE of Livejournal
( ) been moshing at a concert
( x) been in an abusive relationship
(x) taken painkillers
(x) love someone right now
(x) laid on your back and watched cloud shapes go by
(x) made a snow angel
(x) had a tea party
(x) flown a kite
(x) built a sand castle
(x) gone puddle jumping
(x) played dress up
(x) jumped into a pile of leaves
(x ) gone sledding
( ) cheated while playing a game
(x) been lonely
( ) fallen asleep at work/school
( ) used a fake ID
(x) watched the sun set
( ) felt an earthquake
(x ) touched a snake
(x) been tickled
( ) been robbed
( ) robbed someone
(x) been misunderstood
(x) petted a reindeer/goat
(x) won a contest
( ) been suspended from school
(x) had detention
(x) been in a car accident
( ) had braces
(x) eaten a whole pint of ice cream in one night
(x) had deja vu
( ) danced in the moonlight
(x) hated the way you look
( ) witnessed a crime
( ) pole danced
(x) questioned your heart
( ) been obsessed with post-it notes
( ) squished barefoot through the mud
(x) been lost
(x) been to the opposite side of the country
( ) been to the opposite side of the world
(x) swam in the ocean
(x) felt like dying
(x) cried yourself to sleep
( ) played cops and robbers
(x) recently colored with crayons/colored pencils/markers
(x) sung karaoke
( ) paid for a meal with only coins
(x) done something you told yourself you wouldn't
(x) made prank phone calls
(x) laughed until some kind of beverage came out of your nose
(x) caught a snowflake on your tongue
(x) kissed in the rain
(x) written a letter to Santa Claus
( ) been kissed under the mistletoe
(x) watched the sun set with someone you care about
(x) blown bubbles
( ) made a bonfire on the beach
( ) crashed a party
( ) traveled more than 5 days with a car full of people
(x) gone rollerskating/blading
( ) had a wish come true
( ) humped a monkey
( ) worn pearls
( ) jumped off a bridge
( ) screamed penis during class/work
( ) ate dog food
( ) told a complete stranger you loved them
(x) sang in the shower
(x) have a little black dress
( ) had sex in a park
( ) had sex in the bathroom
( ) had a dream that you married someone
( ) glued your hand to something
( ) got your tongue stuck to a pole
( ) kissed a fish
(x) worn the opposite sex's clothes
(x) been a cheerleader/pommer
( ) sat on a roof top
( ) had sex at a church
(x) screamed at the top of your lungs
( ) done a one-handed cartwheel
(x) talked on the phone for more than 6 hours
(x) stayed up all night
( ) didn't take a shower for a week
( ) pick and ate an apple right off the tree
(x) climbed a tree
( ) had a tree house
( ) are scared to watch scary movies alone
( ) believe in ghosts (kind of)
( ) have more then 30 pairs of shoes
(x) worn a really ugly outfit to school/work
( ) gone streaking
( ) played ding-dong-ditch
( ) played chicken fight
( ) been pushed into a pool with all your clothes on
(x) been told you're hot by a complete stranger
( ) broken a bone
(x) been easily amused
( ) caught a fish and then ate it
( ) made porn
( ) caught a butterfly
(x) laughed so hard you cried
(x) cried so hard you laughed
(x) mooned/flashed someone
(x) had someone moon/flash you
(x) cheated on a test
(x) forgotten someone's name
(x) slept naked
( ) French braided someone's hair
(x) gone skinny dipping in a pool
( ) been kicked out of your house
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(comment on this)
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1:16 am - Learn something about me
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As per Louise's request, I am filling out this questionaire. If you would like, do the same. Copy and paste to your blog and and live a link in my comments section so I know to look for it. Mark all that holds true with an X.
(x) smoked a cigarette
( x) smoked a cigar
(x) smoked anything else
( ) crashed a friend's car
(x) been in love
(x ) been dumped
( ) shoplifted
( ) been fired
( ) been in a fist fight
( ) snuck out of parent's house
(x) had feelings for someone who didn't have them back
( ) been arrested
(x) made out with a stranger
(x) gone on a blind date
(x) lied to a friend
( ) had a crush on a teacher/boss
(x) skipped school
( ) slept with a co-worker
( ) seen someone die
( ) had/have a crush on one of your Livejournal friends
(x ) been to Canada
(x ) been to Mexico
(x) been on a plane
( ) thrown up in a bar
( ) eaten sushi
( ) been snowboarding
( ) gotten with someone BECAUSE of Livejournal
( ) been moshing at a concert
( x) been in an abusive relationship
(x) taken painkillers
(x) love someone right now
(x) laid on your back and watched cloud shapes go by
(x) made a snow angel
(x) had a tea party
(x) flown a kite
(x) built a sand castle
(x) gone puddle jumping
(x) played dress up
(x) jumped into a pile of leaves
(x ) gone sledding
( ) cheated while playing a game
(x) been lonely
( ) fallen asleep at work/school
( ) used a fake ID
(x) watched the sun set
( ) felt an earthquake
(x ) touched a snake
(x) been tickled
( ) been robbed
( ) robbed someone
(x) been misunderstood
(x) petted a reindeer/goat
(x) won a contest
( ) been suspended from school
(x) had detention
(x) been in a car accident
( ) had braces
(x) eaten a whole pint of ice cream in one night
(x) had deja vu
( ) danced in the moonlight
(x) hated the way you look
( ) witnessed a crime
( ) pole danced
(x) questioned your heart
( ) been obsessed with post-it notes
( ) squished barefoot through the mud
(x) been lost
(x) been to the opposite side of the country
( ) been to the opposite side of the world
(x) swam in the ocean
(x) felt like dying
(x) cried yourself to sleep
( ) played cops and robbers
(x) recently colored with crayons/colored pencils/markers
(x) sung karaoke
( ) paid for a meal with only coins
(x) done something you told yourself you wouldn't
(x) made prank phone calls
(x) laughed until some kind of beverage came out of your nose
(x) caught a snowflake on your tongue
(x) kissed in the rain
(x) written a letter to Santa Claus
( ) been kissed under the mistletoe
(x) watched the sun set with someone you care about
(x) blown bubbles
( ) made a bonfire on the beach
( ) crashed a party
( ) traveled more than 5 days with a car full of people
(x) gone rollerskating/blading
( ) had a wish come true
( ) humped a monkey
( ) worn pearls
( ) jumped off a bridge
( ) screamed penis during class/work
( ) ate dog food
( ) told a complete stranger you loved them
(x) sang in the shower
(x) have a little black dress
( ) had sex in a park
( ) had sex in the bathroom
( ) had a dream that you married someone
( ) glued your hand to something
( ) got your tongue stuck to a pole
( ) kissed a fish
(x) worn the opposite sex's clothes
(x) been a cheerleader/pommer
( ) sat on a roof top
( ) had sex at a church
(x) screamed at the top of your lungs
( ) done a one-handed cartwheel
(x) talked on the phone for more than 6 hours
(x) stayed up all night
( ) didn't take a shower for a week
( ) pick and ate an apple right off the tree
(x) climbed a tree
( ) had a tree house
( ) are scared to watch scary movies alone
( ) believe in ghosts (kind of)
( ) have more then 30 pairs of shoes
(x) worn a really ugly outfit to school/work
( ) gone streaking
( ) played ding-dong-ditch
( ) played chicken fight
( ) been pushed into a pool with all your clothes on
(x) been told you're hot by a complete stranger
( ) broken a bone
(x) been easily amused
( ) caught a fish and then ate it
( ) made porn
( ) caught a butterfly
(x) laughed so hard you cried
(x) cried so hard you laughed
(x) mooned/flashed someone
(x) had someone moon/flash you
(x) cheated on a test
(x) forgotten someone's name
(x) slept naked
( ) French braided someone's hair
(x) gone skinny dipping in a pool
( ) been kicked out of your house
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(comment on this)
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| Wednesday, June 15th, 2005
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2:48 am - My far flung friend
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Life is weird. Really weird. I'm just a few months away from meeting someone I've known for roughly 7 years. How is this possible? Weirder yet, I can easily say he is one of my favorite people right now. I guess I can thank modern technology this situation.
His name is David and he instant messaged me not too long after my devastating break up with the evil one. We spoke occasionally on the phone and we would sort of drift in and out of touch with one another through the years for various reasons. And the past month or so the stars have aligned and we have fallen back in touch and grown closer. So he can get his hands on cheap plane ticks and he has a friend who is moving out here anyway so he decided to come out and finally meet me. And I am so damn excited about it. And what makes it even cooler is that I know he will hit it off with George too. Even when I have lost touch with David, I'd find myself thinking of him from time to time. The more I know him, the more I get to like him. He has said that perhaps we were twins in another life and although I've been a cynic these past few years, I'm apt to believe him. We are so much alike and our lives, our thoughts, synch up in many ways.
It is so weird. How the journey to this moment, our meeting, seems to have been at a snail's pace and yet it feels so sudden and fast at the same time. I wonder how many other wonderful things in my life are trickling in slowly only to one day break through like flood waters bursting through a damn.
current mood:  chipper
current music: air conditioner
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(comment on this)
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| Monday, May 23rd, 2005
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4:54 pm - Final Score
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Foundation of Media Design:A-
Intro to Film Theory: B
Popular Music Studies:B
semster: 3.2
cummulative: 3.4
I am just a little bit peeved that my "easy" "fun" class- pop music, truned out to be a bit of a bore and a total waste of time and I only got a fucking B. bullshit., bullshit. My average isn't exactly where I want it to be but it isn't horrible. Still, I am going to have to bust my ass big time in order to graduate with the average I want.
I have a horrible headache today. If I didn't feel so miserable I would spend more time discussing my new interest, Stuckism. Look it up. It is a new art movement and a reaction to Post Modernism. I've discovered it at exactly right time in life. I've been thinking lately about how sick I am of irony and commercialism, and the fame game. Sick to death of so called "experts" bored to death of everything being clever instead of creative.
Speaking of fame... I officially dislike tom cruise. His interview on Oprah was so pathetic and FAKE. He is a huge phony and these scientology people are starting to freak me out. them and the evangelicals.
Which brings me to my next thing... Media diet will begin tomorrow. No newspapers, magazines, radio, television or film which is news/current affairs/socio/political issues focused. I'm going to try this for a week and then I'm thinking of a complete fast of everything including entertainment, literature for another week. See, I'm a sensitive gal and I'm worn out from the onslaught. I'm tired of being so bitter, sad, depressed, frustrated, etc. I'm tired of the palpable pain I feel about the current issues. I just want a break from caring. I also think I would benefit from a little mental house cleaning. I also want to prep myself for renewed creative efforts.
current mood:  sick
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(1 comment | comment on this)
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| Thursday, May 19th, 2005
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2:04 pm - Freedom etc.
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Hello all so I am sure you've been waiting for my entry with bated breath. Yes I am done with school till I start up again in June. Woo hoo. Also, I'd like to let you all know that I have a new question posted up on my Friendster blog so check it out. http://mediagadfly.blogs.friendster.com/the_salon/
Other than that, I am boring and a bum. Don't be jealous.
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(2 comments | comment on this)
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| Thursday, May 12th, 2005
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12:07 am - The End
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It's almost here... the blessed sweet end of year one, semester two. By midnight Friday I must: write one 6 page paper for pop music class, view 1-2 movies and write 1 one page paper for film theory, read 3 articles of approx 15pgs length, comment on them, and write another film theory paper of 5 pages. I have started none of it. Nothing. Not a thing. I have read 1.5 graphic novels today, cried my eyes out several times, cursed the gods for not handing me the megamillions jackpot and thanked it/him/her/they/whatever for my beloved wonderful sweetie love bug honey pie. V for Vendetta rocks.
current mood:  stressed
current music: harvey birdman theme music
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(1 comment | comment on this)
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| Saturday, April 30th, 2005
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4:36 pm - I was hoping for Sweden but this does kind of fit
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You're Israel!
Though a victim in the past, you've learned very little from this and
have encouraged a cycle of violence in your life and the life of many you know.
You're a little paranoid and somewhat schizophrenic, causing you to promote
both hatred and hope in cycling intervals. Some of the paranoia is justified, as
a lot of people don't like you, but more people are helping you than you'd ever really
admit to. At this point, you live on some valuable property and would benefit
greatly from just giving peace a chance.
Take the Country
Quiz at the Blue Pyramid
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(comment on this)
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4:11 pm - I hate the entire world- you too(except for Sweetie)
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I am having a wretchedly miserable weekend. Yesterday afternoon my mom was a huge bitch to me for various unwarranted reasons. Then last night George and I went to the Willy P student film association's film festival. I was hoping for run into a professor or two that I am fond of and when I saw that a former classmate of mine was serving as a judge I was excited to see her. Well in walks one professor and not only does he not remember me but he tries to scare us out of our seats. We hold our ground and then I get all excited when one of my favorite professor's walks in and sits right next to sweetie. I had professor Williams for 2 classes, my last class with him was only a little over a year ago and he wrote me a recommendation for grad school, gave me advice, etc. I really really liked him as a professor and he had a great personality. I thought he would be the kind of person I could keep in touch with and have serve as a mentor. Well forget that. He didn't remember me at all and I am seriously broken hearted. I desperately need a mentor and for some reasons none of my professors even remember me, let alone give two shits about me. Finding a mentor is sort of like finding a boyfriend, you can like them all you want but if they aren't into you there is nothing you can do to make it happen. Anyway, at the screening they kept on having equipment problems and I was hungary and feeling bummed so I decided to high tail it out of there. The chick didn't seem to really care that I left when I said goodbye, a little salt for the wound.
When I cam home my brother confronted me about telling my folks something he didn't want them knowing. Then today he picked a fight about that again by blasting his music so loud that I couldn't hear my own tv and when my mom refused to step in- I freaked out on Alex. She then freaked out on me. This whole thing was her fault anyway. Excuse me for giving her a heads up about something her son is doing. Well now I know I can't trust them. I mean I did betray my brother's trust but it wasn't like he was going to get into trouble for wanting to go to bartending school so that is the only reasons why I said anything. My mom basically threatened to kick me out of the house and since I was already feeling like shit this just drove me over the edge. Here I am 27 years-old, some girls my age are married, some even with kids and here I am living with my mommy and daddy and getting scolded for fighting.
I am just so fucking tired of this and miserable that at my age, with my education, I am actually hoping I get a job at SEARS. Can we really get more depressing than that?
current mood:  morose
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(3 comments | comment on this)
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| Thursday, April 28th, 2005
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11:38 pm - Cause one wasn't enough
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| Wednesday, April 20th, 2005
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1:03 pm - Life sucks and I couldn't be happier
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I just realized last night that I am not depressed anymore. Sure I have crappy days and I have a lot of anxiety about my future and stress about school, finding a job, etc. But I am not depressed. I just see these things as stuff that I will work through. I think knowing that I am not depressed makes me more happy than not being depressed itself.
Of course there are still things that drive me crazy. First off. DeLay really needs to shut his fucking mouth. It is called separation of powers, they wouldn't be separate if you were allowed your way. This little sop thing is pretty much what has made this country work all these years and since you already fucked up two out of the the three, give the people the judicial, please. The political climate is seriously stifling me right now.
Next thing to be annoyed by.... well thank God I'm not a Catholic. Is the Catholic church trying to destroy their own religion? Seriously, when you appoint a pope who is described as "conservative" you have to know there will be problems. Especially when the last guy wasn't conservative and he was still against women in the ministry, ignored the child molestation scandal, and let us not even discuss all the other issues like abortion and homosexuality which of course we take for granted that the pope would take a conservative stance on. Oh and why in hell would you appoint a guy who can't last more than 5 or so years cause he is the oldest damn pope ever appointed? They so should have gone with the latino dude who was up in the running.
Next up... what is up with the weather? Oh yea we don't have to worry about global warming. I mean I can recall tons of April days where the temperature was as high as 87 fucking degrees. I so don't want to travel into the city today and deal with the stinky hot subways etc. My damn class better be air conditioned.
current mood:  weird
current music: The Lucksmiths- T-Shirt Weather
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| Friday, April 15th, 2005
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9:43 pm
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| Friday, April 8th, 2005
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3:25 pm - I hate people
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People suck. I hate them. I hate them all except for maybe Sweetie. He rocks. So first my dad want's a detailed accounting of all the expenses of mine that he pays for I don't this except that it comes on the heels of me confronting him about helping alex with paying for infiniti which he will be taking over. Next I take a trip to Fair Lawn Post office it fucking sucks. Why would the town place the post office on one of the major roads in fair lawn? And why would they not provide any parking other than street? It constantly causes traffic problems and frustration for those trying to park. Well today I was trying to pull in a spot when some truck started to back into a spot and I beeped to let him know that I was stuck behind him with traffic behind me and so I could not get out of his way. He started screaming at me. He was mean and nasty. I went to Garfield post office instead and outside of the very slow postal worker that couldn't find the code for a stamp, it was a pleasant experience. I easily found parking, they (gasp!) actually have a parking lot and no line in the post office. Woo hoo.
Traffic going onto 17 was ridiculous and so I just kept on 4 instead and ended up at panera instead of starbuck's like I intended. Their croissants are horrible, they have the taste and texture of sub par bread. No flakiness at all. This place is fucking freazing. Next reason to hate people- two punks or rather geeks who are obnoxiously rude are playing with a laptop and blasting the volume on it for some unknown reason. they are called headphones my friends, use them. Still, glory be, Panera is the only place I know of that offers free internet. I am supposed to be doing school work but I am in a pissy mood and cranky and need to get it all off of my chest. My chest is now free, I will now return to work.
current mood:  cranky
current music: The Late Great Libido- Menomena
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| Saturday, April 2nd, 2005
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2:36 am - Sin City
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Is fucking awesome. Exceeded my expectations and that is a rare thing for me nowadays. If you can appreciated the aesthetic for the film, highly stylistic, over the top, film noir ish- then you must see the film. And for those who care, the film is very true to the graphic novels. I only read one of the 3 novels it was based on but there were scenes that were literally pulled from the the graphic novel a perfect match. It was breathtaking.
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