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[24 Jun 2003|04:58am] |
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mood |
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 awake |
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music |
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Ja Rule |
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Ah. I'm tired of feeling sorry for myself. No I mean it, I'm really really sick of it. So this is me officially not being sorry for myself.
Cause you know, I'm a great person. Sure I've got my faults, but who the hell doesn't? I'm kicking ass in perfect Chelle fashion, up on the big screen. I'm not some girly girl (but no offense to those who are), and I'm pretty damn ok with me.
I'm going to get off my god damn ass and do something already. I've never been one to sit back and let life pass me by so why the hell have I been doing exactly that? Sure, things didn't work out like I hoped for, but that doesn't mean my life is over. Fuck that, life is staring me in the face.
So I'm up at the same ungodly hour I used to keep, going to go for a run, then a swim and then head to the gym for an hour or so. Then I don't have a damn clue but I'm getting out of my house. I should call my agent, I'm tired of sitting around waiting.
Hell yeah.
I feel better already.
-Chelle
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[20 Jun 2003|11:40pm] |
I really haven't been doing too much since I got home, kind of just hanging out a lot. Mostly alone, which is fine with me. Cause soon the hype for S.W.A.T will hit and I'll be so overrun with shit I have to do.
Thank you Maj for "pimping" me but I seriously can make friends on my own. I haven't yet, but I'm a little shy, despite what you might think.
I'm going with Maj to some bookstore at midnight so she can buy the new Harry Potter book, She is insane. And I wouldn't beat her up.
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| Home Sweet Home |
[17 Jun 2003|03:06pm] |
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mood |
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 tired |
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Well, my last few days in Vancouver were nice. I visited Vin up at the set a few times, we had lunch, had some good talks. So I'm feeling good about our friendship staying in tact.
But I'm home, back to real life, promotion for S.W.A.T. will probably be hitting me soon. Which means I'll end up seeing Colin a lot more. Working with him was interesting to say the least.
I know this is short, but I'm tired, and jet lagged. Chelle needs some good quality rest, and alone time. How I value my alone time. Just to process what's gone on in the past few weeks. -sighs-
-Chelle
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[14 Jun 2003|01:47am] |
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mood |
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 lethargic |
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I've been up here for days, just stiring on my thoughts. Getting these silly ideas and notions in my head. I should have known things wouldn't be like they were in my fantasy's.
I love him, but I left. Because I needed to work through things for me, and I did, and then I realized, what I wanted I had given up.
In some ways I think coming up here was a mistake, that inner selfish child in me wanting to be spared the pain of rejection. But really I know it was a good thing. To tell him, to know for sure. And yeah, It hurts, it probably will for a while.
But now I know that he's happy, he's moved on, and found someone who he clicks with. And he's right. The past is the past. I'm lucky enough to just have him as a friend you know? He knows me better than a lot of people, so I can't complain.
I'm sticking around for a couple more days, we're going to hang out and hopefully things won't get strange. I think we're adult enough to not let it get akward. Well I know he is -laughs lightly-
It will take some time, but I'll be able to move on too. Closuer and all. But for now Chelle needs sleep. She's tired and suddenly talking in third person.
-Chelle
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[09 Jun 2003|02:19pm] |
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mood |
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tired |
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*gets off the plane stretching, she looks around for Vin, but only sees a man in a suit with a sign that says 'Rodriguez', she sighs*
Guess He's busy.
*she goes up to the suit man and they go to collect her luggage, finally she got into the limo and found a note.*
'Chelle, sorry I couldn't make it. See you soon. Here is a key - Vin'
*she sighs and watches the landscape as it flows by like an ocean, soon the limo stops, she doesn't pay much attention. Only realizes she's in a room, bed's perfectly made, she drops her luggage and pulls out her laptop*
I'm here, and no Vin. Surprisingly enough I'm not mad at all. He's a busy guy, plus I know how work gets. There is however a very comfortable looking bed that I'm going to go lay on and get rid of this jet lag.
*logs off the computer and stretches in a cat like motion. She looks around the room some more and notices cologne bottle on the dresser, she picks it up and sniffs it. She smiles*
His colonge.
*she walks to the dresser and opens it pulling out a t-shirt. She brings it to her nose and sniffs it as well. She smiles and disrobes, pulling the t-shirt over her head, feeling surrounded by him. She lays down on the bed with her back to the door and falls into a lazy slumber, a smile on her face as she dreams.
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[07 Jun 2003|07:14pm] |
Booked a flight to Vancouver to see Vin.
Wonder how it's gonna be when I get there, hell I fucking wonder how I want it to be when I get there. Ok screw that, the whole fucking world knows how I want it to be, so we'll leave it at that.
Vin. I get in a 9pm tommorrow night, you best be there to pick me up. No sending some lackie from the set. -glares playfully-
\\Voice Message to Jordana\\ Hey J, It's Michelle. Girl you ain't home, where are you? We need to get together soon, but I'm heading up to see Vin. I'll give you a buzz when I get back.\\End Voice Message\\
-Michelle
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[06 Jun 2003|08:49pm] |
Where is the love people? Come on. Make friends with Michelle, flood me with comments so I feel special.
Vin I know your out there, Jordana, Paul come one guys. It's Chelle.
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[04 Jun 2003|11:33am] |
Does the "Are you daiting Vin?" crap ever stop? I mean, come one. People enough is enough.
I'm here doing my own thang!
S.W.A.T. should be coming out pretty soon and i'm down with that. Pretty much just looking to chill, hang. Do girl stuff, despite the girl I'm not.
-laughs-
But hey I'm me.
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