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umm yea last night.. i did freak out. and I can't appoligize to my dear becki enuff. Or that bourassa guy. I really can't control this. it's ripping me apart. It's like I'm in the back seat watching myself say these things to people.. people i love. Then when Shane told me that (something he told me) I just wanted to slit my wrists. He don't understand the breakdown he caused by doing that. he dont. It's people like that that make my condition WORST. i know im not a good person. fuck you if you can't see how i am. and make me out to be the bad guy. i freak out and i cant control this crap. i may as well kill myself. Cuz im just gunna loose everyone. I can't HELP it. I can't CONTROL what I say sometimes. i dont WANT to say them things. I can't do this. NO one can or will help me. they just jump on me like i mean to do it. i dont. no one cares. or refuse to understand. it hurts. im in so much pain. *sigh* i dunno anymore. but im tired of crying myself to sleep. for once id like someone to be there with me and hold me no matter how much i shove them. :'( thats all for now. -Tia Lee |
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moody.