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Bebe K's Journal

29th November, 2003. 4:42 pm. About EBAY

Ebay is GAY! I just got outbid by some faggot on a _________ signed poster for ________! OMG if I don't get that I will feel so bad because I told him I already bought it. It is REALLY nice. It has _______ singing into the mic. and in the middle of it has his autograph. OMFG, I will be superbly pissed if I do not get it.

(this was edited)

Current mood: contemplative.
Current music: Random Christmas Music.

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24th November, 2003. 9:18 pm. I was never waiting for the tears to start

-wishes she was unconscious- says:
ok, I am so tired of me being everyone's best friend. FOR ONCE I just wish someone would actually like me for me and not just want something else, like another one of my friends and what not. I am so sick of people using me and not even thanking me. I just wish that I could be alone and thenagain I contradict myself and wish I had people surrounding me all the time. I love my friends and I lov
-wishes she was unconscious- says:
e my family but I want something more. I am lucky, and I am grateful but I just want someone FOR MYSELF and no matter what I do or say or anything I can never EVER have the guys I want. I am afraid I am going to be alone for the rest of my life and I wouldn't think twice about it because I am pretty sure that that is how I am going to turn out. I wish I could say these things outloud but no, I
-wishes she was unconscious- says:
can't because I feel like I always have to be nice. And I try so so so hard to keep my faults (aka lying) out of me but it is so hard and I don't mean to but I have lately and I didn't mean to and now I am just full of guilt and whatnot. I want everyone to be happy but then again I want to to be HAPPY too. But it seems everything I do and everything I say is wrong WRONG WRONG WRONG
-wishes she was unconscious- says:
and I fucking hate it and I have lost the emotions I once loved and I feel like I am just souless and trapped in a shell, that I am stupid to all things around me and I HATE IT and no one understands as much as they or I wish they could and I am so SICK of having to be the third/fifth/seventh wheel because no I know I don't have a boyfriend and I am fully aware of that and I know I am not gorgeous
-wishes she was unconscious- says:
but JESUS (loves you) I just want someone to take care of me for once and who wants to listen to me and care for me and not care about MY LOOKS. omg I just want some companionship other than my friends or my family and I know that sounds bad but it is true......GEEZ I sound like a total bitch now and I didn't even mean to. I hate it and I just wish I could go away and not bother anyone anymore
-wishes she was unconscious- says:
because I know I do and that is all I HAVE TO SAY

Current mood: frustrated.
Current music: None I am too pissed off.

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21st November, 2003. 7:23 pm. Livin' In The Past W/ A New Generation

I listen to old rock. I dress like my mom did. I like being outside. Maybe I should have been born for my teenage years to be during the 70's. But, I am kind of glad I wasn't. That would defete the whole purpose of me being me.

I would like to tell you all about someone very dear to my heart. His name is Brandon Kays and he is my wonderful best guy friend with red hair. He is super TALL! And he is obsessed with NIN, A Perfect Circle, and the Cure. (I like all 'em bands too.) Brandon and I are going to the Winter Ball together and we are gonna have a rockin' time.

The reason why I like Brandon so much is because whatever he does or says is always unexpected. When he smiles it lights up his whole face. And I absolutely love his laugh. And apart from being the humorous guy he is he also has a serious side. He is always concerned with Cat and I (for reasons we'll both probably never know.) Brandon likes to take care of people and likes to make people feel good about themselves which he does for me everyday. Everyone deserves a friend like him.

Anyways, I stayed at home again *smiles*

Current mood: optimistic.
Current music: "Blue Eyes Blue"- Eric Clapton.

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20th November, 2003. 5:58 pm. The world as we know it . com

I have an obsession with a devil. His name is Mikey and he is from the UK. Although, I just met him 2 days ago mind you and we talk for hours on the internet and telephone at night. He is wonderful and has big, beautiful, gorgeous lips. No wait. All of him is absolutely handsome. A definate "Pince Phillip" (Sleeping wouldn't get it unless you've seen it.) ~*~ Always more to speak about. I skipped school again. Except this time, I had a reason. Hah! I was actually sick with a tummy ache and my mommy left for New York to go freaking Christmas shopping. She didn't take me. It is quite upsetting. ~*~ Tomorrow, I have to go to school because if not Kace and I cannot go shopping together this weekend. That reminds me. I have to ask Cat if she wants to go too. ~*~ Speaking of Kace who is one sexy mama! She is one of my very good friends (full name: Kaycee Goben-occupation: hair/clothes designer, lover of music, lover of petite beaus-why I like: definately a sweetie and someone who I can hug if I need a hug, good listener-moment in the sun with her-when we were sucking the juice out of honeysuckle and talking about her and Morbid's soon to be retrded Siamese cat in special-ed. and we went to KY Kingdom and rode rides all day-quote for her: It can't rain all the time)~*~ Also, Brandon and I are going to the Winter Ball together and he is going to give me a sleeping beauty ring. Ooh La La!


Current mood: cheerful.
Current music: "Dead Souls"-NiN.

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18th November, 2003. 4:39 pm. Crushing over root beer: Part 2

I love Stevie Ray Vaughan. After completing a paper about him for my brother, he was truly a wonderful musician and I just thought everyone should know about it.

Current mood: dorky.
Current music: "I Miss You"-Incubus.

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18th November, 2003. 4:30 pm. Crushin over root beer

Well, it is official. I have a crush on someone...*devious eyes look left and right* Who could it be, who could it be?
Yeah, I am going to visit my sister in Louisville this weekend so that'll be fun. Shopping and spending my Grandmother's moolah. We clal her G-Lo (Grandma Lois, Jennifer get it) Anyways, back to the crushing over root beer.
It is diet root beer to be exact. Yummy. I love it. I stayed home from school today. Just like yesterday, my parents think I am sick. They are so full of shit.
I wrote something!!!!!!!! HAH! Now I shall force it upon all of you!!!

My world is different than yours. Through my eyes is an entirely diverse society. Through my eyes I see everything contrary to what you say. People are accepted no matter what ethnicity they belong to and God is colorblind to all races. Religions-the word is no longer plural. One religion celebrated by all. Satan no longer can torment the minds of the innocent, tempt the pure, and bring death and destruction to any. And I- I am perfect in your eyes. No flaws, no disfiguration, no deformity. There is not a minority in my world. There is not seniority in my world. The leadership comes from all. There are no followers. There is nor nudity nor clothing, nor rich nor poor. Society is based on love for one another.
A mind of a mad woman, you say. No world would have these. There is always negativity and optimism. But can’t you see the logic in my world? Peace. Love. Happiness. All of that can be found in each and every single person. But because on one person’s greed, hate, or lust, those good virtues fall to pieces. All because of that one person. Have we no patience? Are we not an empathetic species? Are we not all equal?
Yes, humanity is a dumbass and I am crazy.

Current mood: content.
Current music: 3 Libras- A Perfect Circle.

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17th November, 2003. 5:17 pm. Bleh...bite my ass

Today, I skipped school. Haha! Yes, I realize my journal says I am 18 but in actuallity, I am only 16. I didn't feel like going to school. Which some people could understand. I hate it now. I used to love to learn, but fuck no. I hate Geometry H. I hate Biology H. I hate World Civ. H. The one thing is our 8 minute passing times and 3rd block which is Chorus. I cannot wait to get out of high school and say fuck you all to the lot of them.
I might want to introduce myself. I am Bebe K or Martini Lover or simply Katie. I am 16 years of age and I live in the middle of nowhere is butt fuck Egypt (KY) Anyways, I'll write more later............

Current mood: irritated.
Current music: Get Away-Train.

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