Mar's Blurty
 
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Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in Mar's Blurty:

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    Tuesday, May 25th, 2004
    4:18 pm
    oopsy sorry
    whoopsy sorry i havent been blogging as much as normal. finals week can do that to one. ugh. tired of them already. they suck. bad. but other than that, there hasnt been much going on, just me working on a good tan lol. and a good tan do i have. and its only going to get better...because on the 19th of june i leave for fla for a week or so with jordan, her mom and dad, chris, bethany and bella. yayness and rejoicing..and i dont have to pay for anything. jordan, thanks for the best gift i could be given right now. and beck, i'll give hutchy a huge hug for you :-) cause we're goign to be in orlando...and i made him promise to give me at least a bit of time. because i want it. bad. :-P
    Um...i was thinking there was something i wanted to say...but i forget. um. i'll remember it at somepoint, and when i do, i'll blog about it lol luv you all, byes

    Current Mood: hyper
    Current Music: Harvey Danger - flagpole sitta
    Saturday, May 22nd, 2004
    10:54 pm
    oh the grouchyness
    today was awesome, church, then head over to bens to play ctf...but there werent enough of us so we watched Empire strikes back, then played a mad insane game of hide-and-go-seek then watched Hot Shot Part Deux. very good. then i head over to mindy/bentons to jam with everyone. also very good.

    but not good now. now im all grouchy. i cant go to graduation, which was going to be like my graduation, because im not walking with my class, because a certain female mom doesnt like is going to be there. so not only does she not want me to drive down, she really doesnt want me to go for a bunch of other reasons, all pertaining to that female. this isnt fair. its not like we are going to see each other for over 4 years. big whoop. whats on elast time. oh well im not going to rant about it now because im tired. later all

    Current Mood: annoyed
    Current Music: nada
    Friday, May 21st, 2004
    3:39 pm
    Clarifications
    Eh beck, nothing new is between us. unfortunately. i havent been able to get ahold of him *cough cough hint hint* and thats been more than a little annoying. A certain someone doesnt seem to answer the phone. You did tell him to check out this thingy right? Just curious as to whether hes reading it. And i know im luck about school length lol...and about walking. for once everyone is on my side.
    Ok thats about all there is new, other than finally getting down to the wire on my stupid psc. beck, im calling you tonight, you too hutch, and you had both better answer. :-D

    Current Mood: creative
    Current Music: Donovan - Universal Soldier
    6:39 am
    Ok i have to say it again...morning comes far too early for my taste. Hatefully early. and then it has the nerve to be pouring rain. guess that means i have to be doubly spunky. lets see if i can pull that one off today.
    last advisement thing today. finally. they are probably just going to rant about how much we suck, and how we had better behave. and then watch me get brought up as an example of how people suck because im not walking at graduation because i just dont really care, and i think its a waste of a perfectly good day that could be spent doing something more interesting...like riding...or something of that sort. and munk finds that so incomprehensible. actually a lot of people do, but for once parents and i are on one wavelength...they say its up to me, and i say i dont want to walk.
    and now im going to be late for school...again...because how can i go to school without my coffee stop? that would be sacrilidge. and i have to get gas. ugh. gas prices suck real bad.

    LOVE YOU ALL

    Current Mood: working
    Current Music: Guthrie - Little Boxes
    Thursday, May 20th, 2004
    6:56 pm
    slacker
    wow i am getting to be such a slacker. Must be my 40pg PSC thats due on monday...and it sucks ass...bad. Oh well, i guess it could be much worse...i could be just starting it!
    Ok so not too much has been going on, just lots and lots of school...blech...just make it till friday i think, then its all good...unless darn angelone makes us take the final later..which she probably wont because shes such a slaker with grading...thankfully. One of the few times being a slacker turns out great for all parties...she gets to deal with us for a shorter time..and we get out earlier. thank god.
    and tn. thats scary. but awesome. im really excited. i dont even know exactly when im leaving, but its still awesome. maybe i should find out lol I dont even know when classes start..which i should. and i have to register for classes..ugh i hate doing stuff like that. i dont even know what i get credit for AP wise, or what it counts for. that has me in a mad tizzy, but i know i can do this. i HAVE to be able to do this.
    Mom and i made a deal. if i hate southern then i can leave after a year. So at least i have that. i dont think i'll hate it, but maybe it will be too hard for me after...yeah...after that. Heck, i dont know how hard its going to be for me to go down there and see him and live near him, and, well and i dont know. i know what i THINK, but thinking seems to always get me in trouble. well,, so does wanting i guess, because i know what i want, or at least what me tells me i want. So what exactly is want? is it lust? is it desire? is it a carnal need? is it just whatever each person percieves it to be? Ugh i think too much, but i want to have a solid plan of action before i go down and let my emotions rule me yet again, and probably get hurt...again. and i really dont need that along with everything else that will be going along...well the whole hurt thing. there are other things i definately want, but again, it seems that they go hand in hand. So whats wrong with making life easier, eh? Maybe highschool IS better, at least it some regards...still have mommy to help...even when you dont want her to! lol.
    I think i know what i want most in life. I want to know a great love, that is so deeply reciprocated. i know i hurt someone so deep when he thought thats what it was, but my heart has always been somewhere else, for better or for worse. wont seem to leave, no matter how hard i try. So someone want to help me with my dilemma? blah..moving on to outlining 50 pages of text so i can still be the star student we all know and want to kill!

    Current Mood: confused
    Current Music: donovan - universal soldier
    Wednesday, May 19th, 2004
    5:08 pm
    whoops let a day go by
    Whoopsy let an entire day go by without updating..i must be a horrible person. We had our party in schodoggs today...tons and tons of icecream pie...*sigh* what a beautiful morning...except shane froze the whipped cream..and that makes it not come out, so we found. that made me sad. then lots of egyptian rat screw. ben martin is violent with that, let me tell you. More later

    Current Mood: crazy
    Current Music: Irish Rovers
    Monday, May 17th, 2004
    7:54 pm

    Johns kitty made my life. i want a kitty
    7:49 pm
    thankfully music can help one let off some steam. thank you pfr

    Current Mood: cynical
    Current Music: pfr
    6:52 pm
    hey now hang on...while i fuck the world - Turbonegro

    I am plain ready to die...and if certain criteria were met, i'd gladly die. Shame they have yet to be met, then things would be easier. much easier. damn. they need to be met, so i can leave a happy little lady. Who cares about busting some values...nothing i havent done before. but i dont want to bust anyone elses, so maybe i wont even try. but maybe i will. who knows. all i can know is what i want, and im not going to get it. ever. or so it seems. this seems so gibberishy to you all im sure. maybe not to beck, at least as much, but i dont know. beck, tell that certain someone to read all this at some point ok? I think it should be heard. Which means later i have to put in a long rant. ugh. about things that need to be said, that if i dont say im going to explode. which wouldnt neccessarily be a bad thing. i think. Ugh i dont know if i can even think anymore.

    Current Mood: listless
    Current Music: turbonegro - fuck the world
    4:06 pm
    ugh can i go to bed yet?
    Is it bed time yet? With the PSC, horses, and getting ready to move... i think i hate this whole being awake stuff...and its not even as bad as Catoctin had it..having prom last night...that had to suck monkey balls with ketchup...*shudder* So if anyone happens to be a paragon of knowlege concerning the cuban missile crisis, or has fidel's home phone number, let me know! I'll love you forever, if i dont already! And if i do? I'll love you more. Much more. Like hot passionate love lots more. Hmm hot passionate love...mmm...lololol adn my secret lover isnt here, and the guy i like isnt either...im going to wilt away to nothingness...DAMN YOU ALL!

    Oh the whole log cabin for mom and i in tn fell through...looks like the portugese family for me...guess i should brush up on that spanish of mine...its close enough to portugese..i HOPE!!

    Current Mood: exhausted
    Current Music: They Might Be Giants - Birdhouse in your soul
    6:23 am
    pain..oh the pain
    morning isnt fun..this is when i went to bed yesterday...and now i have to get up and make it to school and be functional...ouch. hmm beck..im not sure why it isnt allowing you to post...grr...i'll mess around with the settings and see what i can do...so i'll do that now before i fall asleep...i reserve nap time for schofields class :-D

    Current Mood: tired
    Current Music: switchfool - a beautiful letdown
    Sunday, May 16th, 2004
    2:32 pm
    Just shoot me now
    Wow...im beat...didnt get home till 530 AM and didnt go to bed till 630...but we had so much fun....the cape was the hit of the night...everyone was freaking out over it :-D AND THEY HAD A CHOCOLATE FOUNTAIN....and lots of strawberries and creampuffs...IE...it was heaven...if only the DJ could have figured out that we are all white....not black...eh oh well!

    Post prom was unique..and fricken rule at blackjack (thanks hutch..my teacher) Between JQ and i we won 2 buffets, 4 movie rentals, a bunch of stuff for ESPN zone, $40 bucks of free gas, and 4 tickets to see the mystics. Not a bad haul eh?

    Then denny's..there were a ton of people there from mhs. and it was fun...doug and jeff wanted to get me a hooters uniform...but dont worry, i vetoed that :-P And...from there on I dont really remember anything because i was so half asleep lol and now i am going back to sleep.

    THANKS ALL FOR THE AWESOME PROM

    and dinner people...you all rule..thats for a later message

    Current Mood: exhausted
    Current Music: beatles - yellow submarine
    Saturday, May 15th, 2004
    9:22 am
    wOw
    MY CAPE IS AMAZINGLY AWESOME!!!!! YAYNESS AND REJOICING...other than that, ben and john joined me at The Way, and Rob came with will. Then due to the fact that at 1030 all icecream places are closed, as we found out, and were told by Mr Mattingly, I dropped my guys off at home then rob will and i headed to my house for yummy ice cream cake...im eating the remains of it now. yumm. we were telling Tristan and Adam stories to mom...and playing with gracie..and laughing so hard im suprised we didnt piss ourselves...and mom loved it..it was suprising. and rob is cute...hehe lol. Kinda reminds me of hutch, just shorter...much shorter. It was nice to hang with will and have him not badger me and all that crap.


    Otherwise...everyone loved the pics beck...hehe :-P they definately caused a riot hahaha. and mmmm candles...your box is still being prepared...so it will rock when i get to sending it out..

    i should go, i was just informed that i have to go to church before everyone comes over for prom..ugh...definately cuts into the time i wanted to spend..but who cares...hehe I LOVE YOU BECKY!!!!!!!

    Current Mood: giddy
    Current Music: Switchfoot - New Way to be Human
    Friday, May 14th, 2004
    2:43 pm
    stupid
    all restaurants should take reservations...darn...now we have to wing it..this is not cool :-P

    Current Mood: aggravated
    2:38 pm
    WOw already
    Well prom is tomorrow...scary...still have no clue on what to do with my hair...and suggestions? lol...and im waiting eagerly for my cape due to arrive in today's fed-ex or whatever...and i am such a bad watier...:-D I LOVE YOU BECKY!!!!! YOU ARE MY HERO!!!!!!! So now, seeing as ive been up since 4 or so, i'm going to go take a nap before heading to the Way and to whatever else i am doing this evening...like cleaning out my dirty car to take people to prom/etc in :-P

    Current Mood: ecstatic
    Current Music: Switchfoot - Ive got the company car...
    6:39 am
    i forgot to mention this...how about for ironic...an Episcopalian Priest in training a PIT as we call him, going to a SDA youth group on Friday night...heheh
    6:20 am
    WAHHHHHHH
    When i went out to ride katie i hoped that she'd be a pain and give me an inkling of annoyance, thus making selling her a modicum less painful..damn horse...always has done the opposite of what i've wanted/expected...and damn it, i've loved every minute of it...She was so perfect...i love this horse...but i guess i have to choose between her and gilly, and the only wise thing to do is keep gilly...not to mention he is my tall dark and handsome whom im waiting to see if he morphs into a human so he'd be teh words greatest man EVER...and if it happens...HES MINE!!! I have the papers to prove it! MUAHAHAH....but anyway..ugh this makes things so much harder...but i can do it..i KNOW i can do it...

    Current Mood: thoughtful
    Current Music: PFR- Them CD...all nice and angsty...
    5:39 am
    OOOO
    MY CAPE-Y IS COMING TODAY!! YAYAYAYAY!!!! much excitement and rejoicing comes from this corner of the world! And it is an ungodly hour...and to think...im late getting up to start riding..

    and speaking of riding...and im going to shoot me for this later....I am selling/sending katie to auction...parents sorta implied that it is my choice....but we really need the money, and i can get some for her...so would everyone hold my hand to get me through this without having a mental breakdown? Im going to need it :-/. and on to the barn

    Current Mood: sleepy
    Current Music: Switchfoot - Only Hope
    Tuesday, May 11th, 2004
    7:14 pm
    Wow
    So they actually make a client for macs now...I am definately Impressed...makes things easier since that website is so slow. YAYNESS...that kinda picked me up from my grouchy move...as did more news about the CADLAN...which should be awesome...Im behind Abs all the way...we all need this! check out www.cad-comic.com for more info...and a kick ass comic...and if you dont know about them you should...because Buckley (Absath) is incredible...and my hero...and i want to have his children...and im going to shut up now

    Current Mood: revived
    Current Music: They Might Be Giants
    7:02 pm
    Musings
    Why is it when you think you have something figured out, its not at all?

    Why are guys more fickle than cats?

    Why do people seem to ignore you when you really dont want them to?

    Why do people seem to think (to all appearances) that ignoring someone deals with whatever?


    Blah. I just dont understand people at all. Grr.. Oh Well..what can i say...i guess i did the same thing to a person(s) before....principle of reciprocity or some psychobabble bullshit like that.

    Current Mood: annoyed
    Current Music: Harvey Danger - Flagpole Sitta'
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