| [ |
mood |
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`border than usual |
] |
| [ |
music |
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`the munchings of peanuts |
] |
&A black fingernail traces a finely glossed bottom lip as Christina waits for her laptop to boot up. She looks around her and is surprised to find more than one person gazing at her as if trying to verify her identity. Pulling her finger away from her mouth, she tugs her trucker hat farther down, hoping that the privacy invaders will catch a hint. Slouching lower in her seat, she clicks the blue "e" on the bottom left corner of her laptop monitor. She stares hard at the screen, concentrating on not looking up. Once the Blurty page uploads, she clicks the appropriate links to get to the `update journal' page.&
If there's one thing I want more than a crispy chicken sandwich from McDonalds, it's to be left alone. I can almost taste the privacy, that's how much I desire it. Complaining will get me nowhere, though. Right now, I'm on my way to my paradise where my mom and younger sister will be waiting. We need the girl time. I've got 15 days of semi-laziness ahead of me. Only semi because I'll have to practice almost every day to prepare for the Europe leg of this tour.
You know, I love to fly. I always feel so...invincible when I'm on a plane. It's a good feeling. And sometiems if I'm lucky, I'll feel like this for awhile before I revert back to my feelings of being incomprimisingly small and helpless. All of my life, I've been taught to depend on myself and myself alone and I think I've done that as good as I can until recently. Heartbreak and loneliness can do that to you. Because of my breakups, I've become a self-proclaimed `clinger'. I'm not proud of it, but atleast I'm aware of my weaknesses. Through the acceptance of my faults, I can learn to become stronger and bolder. At the risk of sounding lame, I am a fighter. Haha. I amuse myself. I better not laugh out loud though. They might think it's an invitation to talk to me. My assistant is snoozing right next to me so she can't protect me from the big bad perverts who wish to masturbate over the memories of the stimulating conversation I would no doubt provide them.
If you can't tell, I don't always think the best of people upon first meeting them. I'm a skeptic. Life's lessons have taught me not to trust those I don't know, especially not those of the male gender. Needless to say, this hasn't been a great point-of-view when it comes to dating. But, hey, what can you do? I'd rather spare myself the anguish that undoubtedly would come along if I chose to jump into a relationship and take the time to get to know someone.
I think I'll end this here. chrissy the cow is my screenname. There's a story behind it. I don't just have tons of low self esteem. Exactly the opposite if you want the truth. If you care to know the story, I'll tell you. Love to the homies!
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