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I'm gonna make this short and emo [28 Mar 2005|01:38pm]
http://www.xanga.com/maria7867

you're asking why, blurty readers...i need a change in my journal life.

i've had this journal since the day after my sweet sixteen. so, basically more than 1.5 years. i went through some skin changes, colors, added some stuff. but the feel of the journal was not tailored to what i wanted to feel. there was an imbalance.

tissue anyone?

i think xanga will be good for me. if its not, i know i can always come back here and start where i left off. i dont know how easily i can make long entries with xanga, i dont know if people will still have the energy to read. i dont know, and im scared. so hold me.

blurty, this is the last time i will see this update page, perhaps. it was cool knowing you, but ive grown up since july 7, 2003.

actually, i havent really, but whatever.

tee tee why el lovers, dont forget to make the new bookmark
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The only highlight of my lousy day... [25 Mar 2005|10:52pm]
[ mood | rejected ]
[ music | "Something is Calling You" - Norah Jones ]

Dana's dad and dana picked me up for some shopping to do at the mall. Bleh. I personally am annoyed when I go shopping anywhere without my mom, who is in charge of the checkbook. No offense to Dana or Joanna, who invited me to go shopping with them yesterday, but there's not much social activity in shopping when you're leaching off of other's peoples questions and inquiries about what color, which size, those or this. I've disliked this for a long, long time. Maybe I'm selfish, but I enjoy shopping by myself. And it's not the solitary demon in me, I just like doing certain things, especially those which affect your conscience 24/7 about how you look in clothes or if you have enough money, by myself.

I make it seem like I have an eating disorder or I live off of a meager salary...I don't, but I'm not all into shopping. It's usually a pain for me, and puts me under loads of stress. Add the holidays to it, and I begin to cry in the dressing rooms before Christmas. I don't even try stuff on anymore, I just buy whatever and pray I have a better experience trying it on at home. I'm just tired of everything, shopping has never been easy for me, especially with the back of my mom's head creeping into my conscience about conspicious consumption as conservative spenders. Whatever. As much as my parents pretend to not care about giving me money or whatever, our earlier years still have a dent in us, or at least me. And I have always felt guilty about spending money, even though I feel like I deserve it. I'm not conceited, but I think I'm a good kid. Compared to what I could be, or what I could do, I'm okay. and sometimes rewarding yourself is completely acceptable...I just get this notion that I deserve nothing sometimes, and I don't know why.

Ugh I feel a headache coming with this lousy worthless rant.

So we're on the way somewhere, and Rabel, my older twin with longer hair, calls me. I mean honestly, how many things can this person want from me? He asks for my email on the phone, so I give it out, letter and numbers individually.

me: a-i-r-a-m-7-8-6-7@yahoo.com
rabel: yahoo with two O's right?

genius...

so I'm like k whatevs...blah blah we go to marshalls, pick up mickey, drop him off home, go to marshall fields, meet up with danas mom. then we go eat with danas mom and see val and kandice and blah blah "i like your new purse" or blah blah "i dont like your new purse" . then we go to old navy. which is cool... Rabel calls me again, and asks me if I've checked my email. I said no, and he said "you have to give me props on it when you see it"

Oh boy...what could it be...what could it be...

Remember Napolean's ID card?...of course you do...
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Rabel, a certified graphic artist, now a full time working graphic specialist with health benefits and probably a 401k, decided to twist the picture to my end of the tunnel. I died inside when I checked my email at Dana's dad's house.
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Rabel has called me "Orhay" (like oh-ray) since forever. It's actually spelled Urhai, pronounced or-hay. There's like one other Assyrian chick in the nation that I know of with the same name, she can be found on my myspace. She's so pretty! and she spells it orhai...but anywayzzzz...My brother almost never calls me by Urhai or Maria, it's oh-ray. And he always spells it wrong, which I love. And he's positive Napolean and I are meant to be...he even bets I run like him, but I actually don't haha.

Anyway, that was the only highlight of my day basically...and Dana's dog, Mickey, trying to act cute and innocent by my feet when he really wanted to bite the life out of my dkny black shoes.

Rabel says he only skims my blurty, but I don't believe him, just like I don't believe Paul when he says he only looks up "Paul" in my entries to find if I wrote about him. You don't know how many numerous times Paul has even said on the phone or to my face that myspace and my blurty are a waste of space and internet. I miss Paul and my whole gang when I don't see them on the weekend...and my spring break has just started...so I'll miss them even more...time to take Rabel's car and stalk Paul's basement, Sandi's work, Val's basketball practice, ect. ect.

I feel a little better writing all that crap out in the beginning. I felt like crying this whole day, and I didn't know why, and I still don't know why.

I walked in my room and found a bed in a bag. The bed sheets that come in a bag. Um finally, my mom bought me a bed set with a comforter and pillows and such. She claims she threw my other one out because I said I didn't like it.

Yeah right, she sooo lost it!

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Um. [21 Mar 2005|08:00pm]
I was bored, so I took pictures. I should probably be taking a shower, doing my hair, studying for physics, looking over trig, but I've decided that life is a joke.

Yes, I am showing off right now....I know, I need to dust/polish the life out of my piano.


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Mmmmm, doing down down down!

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My brain cries when I play this; it hurts.

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EVERYONE LOVES THE SENSUAL TRILLS!!

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Yes, this is the beginning of "Assyrian Rhapody", written by Rasson, my teacher. It's not Rosson. Anyway, here's his site, go listen to it! first movement!

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Tickling ivories...

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AWWWW! Look who's trying to play hide and seek with me!! (we have to cover it, and everything else, because of dusty construction...no, it is not abuse)

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Umm, so anyone who knows my house, knows that we remodeled the house when I was in the 6th grade, but the porch was never finished. Well, now it nearly is, THANK YOU MR. HAIDO...we so fired our polish construction man...but still, I love dem polish boys!

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Pretty colors...hott fire!

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This would be a cute tiny very tiny miniscule wrist tattoo..

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Chels bought this shirt, in honor of me!




This reminds me of sophomore year, spanish class....: x to creepy teachers!




Ummm...me and Lindsay Lohan are clearly soulmates and BFF4LYFE because we have the SAME LIP FRECKLE!!!! that's sooooooooo super hot!







kbye.
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Nora and I...we're just silly girls. [20 Mar 2005|02:13pm]
airaM 7867 (12:48:55 AM): if you ever forgot what all the boys around the world masturbate to, its this
Auto response from Nori5586 (12:48:55 AM): bbl
airaM 7867 (12:48:56 AM): Image hosted by Photobucket.com

Nori5586 (1:05:14 AM): LOL
Nori5586 (1:05:32 AM): my hair was huge
Nori5586 (1:05:39 AM): we look like cousins in that pic!
airaM 7867 (1:05:42 AM): it was huge for being so short
airaM 7867 (1:05:45 AM): i know!
Nori5586 (1:06:08 AM): show me to your hot friends
Nori5586 (1:06:54 AM): so i can have fun with fresh meat when i come.

*warning: nora is only kidding and is not a creepster*
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Here are little gifts for you, [19 Mar 2005|01:35pm]
I like to find cute avatars off of people's lame xangas and steal them. One day, I found a whole bunch of Dashboard Confessional icons. I'm on a journey to find all the dashboard icons ever made.

Laugh with me, as this song becomes stabbed with avatar-poison. But I obviously like it, since I saved them.

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But this honestly, one of my most favorite songs, EVER. I LOVE LOVE LOVE "Carry This Picture"

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And I saved these for Chelsey.

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This morning was so weird. I woke up at quarter to 11. I went into my parents room, my sister was there watching tv and looking through my old baby pictures. I had just woken up, and couldn't see anything. But I took the pictures from her and spent about 20 minutes just looking through my old pictures, seeing me with my godmother, cousins. It was a good time. I've been meaning to look at my old pictures since I saw Paul's dorky adorable kid pictures. Except I was only adorable up until like 4 years old.

There is this adorable times infinity picture of me and Rabel in Greece, sitting by this wall outside, waiting for the bus. I was a year and a half, he was 6 or so. I'm leaning on him, and I have this tiny purse, the long strap is around my neck, not even on my shoulder. My mom says I carried that purse around with me everywhere.

I probably put candy wrapper trash in there.

And it's so weird to see how much my face has changed. My baby face is my face now, only without extended features. My face was round with no long jaw line, but I have the same chin. My nose was small, except it had the shape of the tip of my nose now, the "Toma ball", as Nora and I call it, since we have similar noses, probably from our mother's side. My eyes looked incredibly small and very dark, you couldn't really see the whites of my eyes. And my hair, adorably curly.

Then as you progress through the pictures, you notice my ugly stage from 6 years to 14 years. 6 years was how old I was when Eryana was born, and my mom gave up on making me look cute.

I honestly think Eryana was one of the cutest babies ever. Whenever I think of how cute she looked with her humongous cheeks and black hair and big eyes and little nose (all of which has still sustained on her face even now), I smile. She makes me smile a lot. I hug and kiss her whenever I want, especially if she's in the middle of telling me something really important, it bugs her.

And I am so excited for my aunt/cousin Shami to have her second baby. The baby is due May 25th or so. Shami's first son, Yael (I still feel like calling him baby, he's almost 4!) was born May 25th I think haha. I wonder if her baby will have the green/blue eye trait as well. Man, Yael would have a pretty sister haha.

Okay, enough talking about family and babies and pictures and memories :)
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Weirdest nights ever... [19 Mar 2005|01:05pm]
[ mood | blank ]
[ music | Theme from "Love Story" - Royal Philharmonic ]

Yesterday was just a joke, an illusion.

Me and Dana drove to Joe's house. On the way we almost got into a bad, bad accident. The traffic light wire was twisted and was facing us with a green left turn. It was really for the street to the right of us. So imagine two cars trying to make left turns at the same time. Fortunately, Dana is a master with her break. This could have been round two for her car crash. Ugh, it's so sick.

Anyway, we get to Joe's house. We go to his basement. It's Joe, Jamison, Josh, Dave, Chris A. It's like a big orgy, all of them sitting on the couches and watching Mean Girls. We intrude their space, and then we watch the third episode of Mod 30, Joe's after school talk show. It was funny. Jamison performed a song. Josh had brain damage from chugging 30 redbulls. Joe was wearing his green outfit. It was too much.

Then everyone discussed about which club to take Jamison. Dana doesn't really want to go, but everyone kinda does. So we don't know what the hell we're talking about, clubs...getting in...fake IDs...meh...

Dana and I leave. We pick up Matt and Mickey (dana's puppy). When Dana's dad was saying bye to us in the car, Mickey started crying and it was le cutest thing ever. Then we pick up food. Then we get to Dana's mom's house. We meet the boys outside, minus Dave and Chris.

Then we all hang out in the livingroom like usual. It is, so boring. We're all just laying there, like drunk mind f*cks. It was horrible. I felt like there was something in the air, we were so high on life. Dead. Bored. Saying things that made no sense. Josh took up the whole 3 person couch and didn't get up once the whole time we were there. Mickey pissed everywhere.

Dana's cousin Tanya came over. Poor girl wanted to leave and le fun.

Joe is obsessed with Tanya. Everything she said, he listened to. He fondled her hair. He pushed her while she sat on the rolly chair into a bedroom with the lights off and pulled down his pants, or so she said. Weird stuff.

Then we turned off the lights, lit a candle, gave Jamison a guitar, and watched Joe improvise a master piece.

He said "I am about to be born...this is the vagina"

Then he pretended to be a baby coming out of a vagina, right there in the living room. He pretended there was a big hole to get out of. We watched, we laughed, we cried. It was truly funny. As he was being born, he said "wait my watch just got caught"

He wasn't even wearing a watch.

We were truly messed up last night. We had chocolate pudding. Josh told us a story of this kid in his class with a butt chin, Joe extended the joke into talking about the butt chin and cliffhanging poop. It was so, so gross, but Jamison was almost choking from laughing so much. This happened while Dana, her brother, and the dog were outside. All of us were laughing incredibly hard at such a stupid idea of a butt chin. She walked in and we were hysterical.

Then we all ate chocolate pudding.

Now I have to go vacuum and stuff. I don't feel like doing anything, at all.

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These paint fumes are killin' us. [14 Mar 2005|10:19pm]
[ mood | giggly ]
[ music | "Cold Cold Heart" - Norah Jones (cover) ]

My brother said he feels like his nose is burned because he inhaled the fumes from downstairs so much while sleeping, haha. Makes sense, his bedroom vent comes from the porch where the construction is at, I think.

But it messed with me too. I woke up today from my groggy nap, and sorta layed there unconscious. Paul called, and I looked at my phone, pressed whatever button I press, and for a moment I thought "wait what do I say again...do I say hello?"

I was completely losing it. So I said hello, and thought "am I picking up the phone the correct way"...

maybe rabel and I shouldn't sleep in our bedrooms with the doors closed, seeing as how we are suffocating our lungs and brains.

We're having a student teacher for physics next week. He introduced himself to us today, and we were all looking at him. For some reason, I have this innate problem of just always smiling at newcomers and nodding to what they're saying. I mean, not a drugged up kid actor smile, but a warm smile. Who am I to be acting so nice...

So there's this new security guard that I kinda have a crush on. Last Friday after school, I saw him in the music wing tellin some kids off because they were roaming closed halls. Um, here comes Maria, roaming just as much with no pass.

me- "um excuse *smile, fidgets with hands* I was wondering if you could open one of the practice rooms"

So then he told me he would try, but he's not sure if he has the key for it. Some security guards have it, and some don't, so I told him "oh, so it depens on who you are, haha"

So he doesn't have a key for it, and we're both standing by the door, looking at each other, in this deserted hallway. He calls the security desk through his walkie talkie and tells the desk that a student, Maria, wants to use the practice room.

We're waiting for the desk to talk back, and my purse was open. He saw my phone, and he took it and said "oh you got one of those clear phones"

yes, yes I do. And I said it's an old school phone before he can make fun of me...then he took out his phone and I was like "www-...wow" It was so hot. Then we talked about cell phone service providers. He's not that cute, but he's young enough for me to stare at.

Well, they asked if there was a teacher coming to supervise me, and there wasn't, so I couldn't use it.

He said he was sorry, and that if he had the key to open it, he would open the room for me.

Um, how about he opens the room and we molest each other on top of the piano.

I am such a pervert *shakes head disappointedly*

I hope to get my doisjfoijsegoij drivers license tomorrow. I don't know what they ask anyway, I don't know how to parallel park, t point turn whatever. I know how to run little kids over though.

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I can't help but post this picture... [13 Mar 2005|03:25pm]
[ mood | crappy ]
[ music | "Still Ballin'" - 2pac ft. trick daddy :) ]

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I didn't hear about this party, but look at those corny cute photos. *cough aheeeeeeeem* ramis bet-shmoel *cough my dad's first cousin cough shmoel = shamuel*

haha, he's like considered one of the "cute" relatives. i dont recognize any of other other singers, except the bandoleros.

anyway. my mom bought a whole lotta home food for us to eat whenever. like chips and salsa and dip and carrots and yogurt and jello and chocolate milk and stuff. my mouth fell off when i had the salsa, it was hot salsa. i was dying, but still eating like a savage. my mom is making chicken alfredo, enough said.

I woke up this morning, actually, at noon, and my sister told me my uncle shlimon called...*groan*...and that I have to call back. I knew he was going to talk about this one piece he wants me to do, so I called back anyway. He knows this 18 yr. old violinist that he also wants to play with me. Whatevs, we might meet up next Sunday and discuss stuff. I'm not really into it, but I don't have anything else to do

Oh, and that Assyrian/Chaldean pianist, john poulis?...yeah, he's playing for like a couples concert, you go with your sig. other and have a romantic night. Um, when my mom told me this, I puked. ughhhhhhh. Way to rub it in my face again, world.

I am hating this physics homework. This is the first time in my life when I've had homework that I honestly do not understand. I am just lost, and helpless enough to almost not do it.

I've been in a crappy mood this whole weekend. I don't feel like typing, I don't feel like talking to my friends (except for a select few..oh hi hello daner, paulstar..*smoochies*), I don't feel like seeing Dana's new dog. I know why, it just needs to hurry up.

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P.S. DePaul, stop taking your sweet time in returning my fafsa papers.

p.s. #2. it's so cute how earlier this week, my one 'hip hop' friend started to sing "ho" by ludacris, and i knew all the lyrics, and val and sandi and everyone was just looking at me in awe. they stopped walking and looked at me say all the lyrics...they thought i didnt know hip hop, BIATCH I HAVE THAT CD FROM 8TH GRADE! then val said I really am a musician because I listen to everything...meh...:) prolly doin ho stuff, cuz there you go again!

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There's clay glaze in my hair, that's hot. [08 Mar 2005|04:17pm]
[ music | "Quando, Quando, Quando" - Michael Buble (ft. Nelly Furtado) ]

I always forget to pull my hair back during art, and we're glazing our pinch weenie pots, so my face is all up in my pot's le grill with my brush and everything.

girl in art - do you have the color F-54
me - no, but thats hot

me- i just messed up big time on this part
jackie- yeah
me and jackie at the same time- thats hot.

On the car ride to home from school, I asked my mom if souvlaki came from pork, and she said it does. I then just blurted (no pun) out what I felt; "mom I want souvlaki or shish kabob so bad"

Then she said that I always craved delicious meaty foods, heck yes. She said she would have bought me some, but didnt have any cash on her.

Then we get home and she decides to make chili with chicken in it, and chicken with so much lemon concentrate...like a gravy...that woman has too many recipes for her own good. Sometimes I take for granted how good I have it with her, she is flippin gourmet, I am not joking. I honestly have never eaten any of her dinners and not been able to get seconds...no, I haven't met anyone else's mother who is this good.

Except for Aunt Liza (nora's mom) in texas, she makes a FINE khimsa. Her and my mom were born with a chef gene...nana asyat, however, kicks both of their butts in dolma, khimsa, harissa....all the old village foods that none of my assyrian friends ever remember.

I always forget to ask my mom if she ever cooked things like spaghetti and hamburgers in slemania when she was dorming with a bunch of muslim women in college. She never wanted to eat from their hands, so she always offered to make dinner for them, and they respected her because the food was good...but what in the world did she cook? Koobeh? What's iraqi cuisine?

But anyway. I'm still going to talk about le food.

When I was leaving for art studio walking with Dana, I told her I wanted pita inn today. She said it could happen. I just couldnt believe it. What if she really wants to go today? Can I eat a chicken dinner and then have a shish kabob sandwich afterwards? Haven't I been eating far too much this whole WEEK. Oh but it just tastes so incredibly good. Shouldn't I be losing weight with all this meat talk? Not that I am in a physical state that requires immediate weight loss...it's just a thought, RELAX.

I knew my mom would pick me up later than usual today, so I sneaked in the music wing, and checked to see if one of the practice rooms with a piano was open...ahhh, I love turning that door knob all the way. I didn't want to play too loud, but I played enough to kill time.

My mom heard of some Assyrian pianist, john paul steve, I dont know what his name was. He's playing at the holiday inn or something, like a little concert, $30 a ticket, and she wants to take me, and I'm like helll yesssssss

My piano lessons will hurt this thursday...you all know I've been formally composing a piece...he told me "this is really heavy, if people hear it, they'll be amazed....but its too heavy, too complicated, not cohesive, you have too much going on with 3 melodies. for your next piece, youre going to have to cut down the complicated urge you have and make it very simple."

alright, so heres the sucky part. it's SO easy to make complicated music.

but it is so difficult to make simple music. i usually finish my piano homework right before he comes, haha. which means i spend about only an hour on my melodies and arrangements and blah blah. that means that im not as dedicated and focused on the music as i should be. and youd think, if i do a crappy job, the music probably sounds boring and whatever.

but it doesnt. i realized last week that i cant slack off if im trying to make simple music and understand his objective.

when i say simple, i dont mean a mary had a little lamb melody

in most professional compositions, there is one melody, or two. this is the base of the whole piece. when you hear most music, it just sounds like a whole big run on sentence with different things comin atcha. but its not, thats the technique thats fooling you. beneath every set of chords is a melody that was probably the inspiration for a piece.

the idea is to arrange these two melodies into a composition, probably 3 or 4 pages long. my teacher's "theme and variation" piece is based on one old assyrian village melody. it was like sung by a bunch of women in the old villages when they used to churn butter, i swear.

but when you hear the piece, its just so BIG. i didnt notice until he made me analyze his music, but the melody repeats itself constantly. but he changed the keys, changed the time, changed the technique of the hand, and it sounded mind blowing. but its just one little simple melody.

my problem is that when i make music, or sit down to write a base, i drift off into like 4 or 5 melodies...its incredibly hard to compose a simple mindblowing melody. that in itself is an oxymoron.

ill admit though, i am flippin lazy to do any of this. i just want to sit on the piano and improvise difficult stuff.

but ill admit again, the piece i made with him does sound pretty pimp. i dont think a lot of people would like it, its rather classical and structured and stuff...but its hot...thats hot.

Me and Juan won our first game today in pickleball today. It was amazing. I said "juanito, we won!!!!!". It was amazing.

Shhh let's disregard the fact that we were playing a team of two girls who didnt really care...shhh...

and clish called juan "juanito". gosh...i love the names i make for people.

and paul was being a meanie as i discussed juan with dana and sandi. jealousy kills, paul. dont be jealous. you and i, we're like salt and artificially flavored sweetener packets you find at the sketchy local restuarant in every town. some people crave the real stuff, but just cant handle it.

that made no sense at all, but i know you all liked it.

yeah, thats hot

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mmmm convos that are too hot to make the profile [06 Mar 2005|03:02am]
ValpoShelly: everyone who knows maria wants to be in her profile
airaM 7867: its like you havent been around the town unless youve been in le profile
ValpoShelly: yep
ReneFortuna: Maria wants a good quote like:
ReneFortuna: nothing says I love you like a cum shot to the eye
airaM 7867: hahahaha
missdejonge: i made it once
missdejonge: it's remained my eternal goal to make it in again
airaM 7867: im going to run out of room
ValpoShelly: i like to go back thru old saved im conversations and atb chats to look for really awesome stuff, then put that in my profile
ValpoShelly: i just don't update mine as often as maria
airaM 7867: O:-)
missdejonge: i made it in with someone telling maria not to be nasty, and me saying "telling maria not to be nasty is like telling a butterfly not to flutter"
ValpoShelly: haha
ValpoShelly: i love that you have it memorized, mel
airaM 7867: hahaha she did!!
missdejonge: well, damn, it was a banner moment in my life!!!
missdejonge: :-)
ValpoShelly: yeah
ValpoShelly: i'm surprised when and if i'm in her profile
ValpoShelly: i think i've made it twice, maybe?
missdejonge: oooo....now i have a new goal
missdejonge: PASS MICHELLE!
ValpoShelly: hahaha
missdejonge: haha
missdejonge: just kidding
ValpoShelly: well, i didn't memorize what i got in it for
ValpoShelly: so you have me beat there
airaM 7867: hahaha
missdejonge: true
airaM 7867: michelle youve been in there lots of times too
ValpoShelly: twice
PiscesBran: i made it once
PiscesBran: le sigh
ValpoShelly: twice is not lots of times
ReneFortuna: all I have in my profile is my site address
missdejonge: for what, brandy?
PiscesBran: i don't even remember
ValpoShelly: haha
PiscesBran: but it was awesome
missdejonge: oh, sure, michelle, try to bulk it up
missdejonge: whatevs
missdejonge: :-)
ValpoShelly: maria, aren't you just so damn honored that we all are vying for positioning in your profile?
airaM 7867: hmmm
missdejonge: oooo....i'm suddenly remembering other times i might have been in...um...yeah
airaM 7867: maybe something with jon pierce
airaM 7867: when he was like ill blow a load in your face
airaM 7867: i remember i laughed
airaM 7867: yes i am haha
PiscesBran: yes!!!
PiscesBran: that was it!
PiscesBran: it was dirty, i think
ValpoShelly: oh, that makes me remember the last time i was in it
missdejonge: likely story
ValpoShelly: it was when brian said something about cutting maria's throat for saying 'le' all the time
ReneFortuna: I've never been in a persons profile, so now I feel special
missdejonge: oh, i remember that
missdejonge: LOL
ValpoShelly: and i told him i'd kick him so hard in the balls i'd end his family line
ValpoShelly: the end
ValpoShelly: i love 'the end'

...dorks...i love it
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Theory of social conflict vs. lunch table. [06 Mar 2005|02:16am]
John Mayer Says...
"[My fans] are probably the people who had to bounce around to a couple different lunch tables before they found one they could sit at. Not because they were strange, but because they were just a little ahead of their time. And I'm onstage being paid to tell them, 'It's OK, I'm with you.'"

I have abandoned my siemens flip phone, and gone major old school.



cept the blue part is clear, and the buttons are pink. my first phone ever. no color, no cool stuff. has a composer on there. my screensaver is a rose. i dont even have a wallpaper. i like doing odd things, its a change for once

this weekend feels way too short, even though it was a 4 day.

oh my goodness

rabel is drunk off his butt
just shot me with a water gun
threw his socks at me
"if you and i went clubbing, would you dance with me"

me- "no"

then he starts to laugh out loud. its 2:30 am

my mom just walked in

we both looked at her, and started cracking up. he is so wasted hahahaha

but hes still laughing at her

mom-"what are you laughing at"
rabel-"*giggles*"

i just scolded him and told him to go to bed
rabel-"can you dim the computer monitor"
me-"um. no"
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Shucks, it's Wednesday [02 Mar 2005|06:12pm]
Happy gay Wednesday to le lover Chelsey Lynne, le sigh.

So...I had a nightmare last night.

One of my biggest fears, EVER, is someone close to me getting hurt. I am super paranoid when loved ones simply go to work by driving their own car. I get paranoid myself when I'm driving down the street and there's opposite traffic nearing me. And a few weeks ago, an Assyrian kid died from a car accident; the driver was drunk. He died, a girl-Dana's close cousin actually- is now in a coma, another girl broke her neck and is paralyzed, and there's one guy-the"driver"- who is okay. Things just happen SO sudden, and the concept of unpredictability flips the heck out of me. Probably the strongest thing I ever pray for is that my friends and family and strangers will be safe.

So anyway. I dreamt that I was at Dana's house. We were making some noise, and for some reason, Bella, my 11 year old cousin, was in the other room, about to sleep. I didn't know why she was there, she told me my aunt didn't pick her up or something.

So my dream progresses. We are at my aunts house (Bella's mom), and there's some celeb/artist there. It was like a press event, people asking questions and whatever. It was a full room, full of strangers yet also my family members.

One of my old best friends from Lincoln Hall walked in the door. The press thing was held in the foyer in front of the front door. So she walks in, and she asks a question. I hear another question at the same time from behind me, and I think to myself "hmmm, I wonder who he'll answer first". So the person/celeb answers my old best friend. Then my old best friend stands up, and says "I was just at Olive Garden, when I found this little girl walking around in the street. She told me her mom had left to buy something, and would be back. She never came back"

She opens the front door, and in comes Kiana, Bella's younger sister. Her head is down, and she is facing the other way, she doesn't say anything, she looks frozen.

Everyone, in a collective effort says "oooh!", it was flipping scary how everyone said it. Kind of like when someone gets dissed, but I felt like they were doing it to diss me, because my worst fear has come true, sort of like "you just got treated"

I immediately burst into tears, because I know my aunt is not okay, she left both of her daughters in public, and she would never do that. I figure she probably got into a horrible car accident. I'm crying like crazy because I feel like my worst nightmare came true, and it just hurt me so much to think that someone close to me was harmed, so suddenly. I turned to look at my mom, and she was on the brink of tears, but not yet.

All this frightening hokey pokey woke the hell out of me. I woke up at 3:45 AM and stared at my clock. I was WIDE awake and afraid kids. I didn't think I could fall back asleep, so I clutched my cross and tried to get the horrible heart squeezing possibility of someone being hurt out of me. I did end up falling back asleep, but I've just been totally haunted by this.

Needless to say, my aunt and the girls are okay. I don't know why it was them in the dream, though.

le FLIPPIN sigh

so it's wednesday. puke.

we had a sub in physics, and he was telling us of how he got fired from his great job at lane tech because he marked someone present while taking attendance, when really the person wasnt there. the person had ditched and got into a car accident, and it was the teachers fault because teachers assume responsibility of your attendance at school. that sucks so much to lose your job over that.

math was kool. rigby wanted to pair us with people that werent our ranger buddies, so he counted us off by 14. i think i was 14. paul, who was sitting in front of me, was like 1 or 3. you pair up with the person who has your number.

well listen, him and i dont follow the rules. paul traded his number stance with someone else who wasnt even a 14. i dont know how the hell we convinced some girls to trade numbers so paul would be my partner. it worked out so slick, and people eventually turned around and said it was impossible for him and i to be partners because we sat right next to each other.

....well listen. i dont like to be with other new people because 1. i almost never like their handwriting 2. i dont like the way they approach their math problems 3. i like working by myself because i can usually get things done quick and efficient. paul doesnt like to work in general, so we both thought we made a perfect match for todays math lesson. i ended up doing 2 worksheets by myself, resisting the distraction of pauls eerie presence, and im okay with that. because i dont mind doing worksheets. i would do worksheets on the sabbath.

i also like the beginning of my 11-13 study hall. the first fifteen minutes always goes like this

*maria walks in, walks in the aisle in which amy is in, which is nowhere near her seat*
*merges into her own aisle, finds her seat, sits down*
*stares at everyone around her*
*stares at the clock*
*looks at the floor and daydreams for 10 minutes, straight*

did i mention how i made my friend in art class an old school bookmark? do you know how bored i am in art? do you know what i draw all day in my sketchbook? do you know what a swirly treble clef looks like? do you know that i considered sharpening all the colored pencils in the art class room because i was THAT bored?

yeah

then during gym

juan was stretching. after "right arm behind switch" blah blah, it's "pretty lady". i dont feel any stretch when i do pretty ladys, but whatevs.

so i was talking to le mike, still sitting by le juan. i was asking him a question while juan was calling out the stretches

mike- blah blah something dave
juan- *yell* switch
me- wait who's dave?
juan- *yell* pretty maria

my head turned so quick and i probably le blushed. i was all "oh juanito!".

no, that's not the cute part. the cute part is how laura, who believed me when i said juan was my soul mate, came up to me afterwards and giggled with me at what he said. we're flippin morons. and then i motioned "eye heart you" to laura from across the gym, and we giggled at each other

sigh, i love old friends.
kbye

oh p.s. flip flip flip! i tried to cancel my piano lessons tomorrow so i can do the dare grad. speech thing, and my piano teacher was all "oh, i can come early!" nooooooooooo

oh p.s. #2. mother felt bad for paulstar because he walks "in all that snow. " i think she thinks paul has to cross mountains and wear north face jackets and helmets and carries around a first aid kit with him.

p.s. #3 i think first aid kits are cool. and that's not the paranoid voice in me telling me to say that. "accidents can happen anytime!"
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Es mas caliente para me [01 Mar 2005|03:44pm]
My official life [pickeball] partner is Juan. Today we lost a game, 11-0, it was pretty sweet. I made a special paddle hand shake with him. Then him and I played a singles game on the side while Sandi's crush watched us, more like, watched me and commented on how "good" I am. I hate funny people.

Respect meeting was cancelled last tuesday, and today it was the School Improvement team. um. so sam and I decided not to go. Last time I went to one of those, I got stuck next to the superintendent. Like physically next to the big shot.

I didn't sleep at all yesterday during the day, and I am proud of myself. Though I don't know how well I can keep up with that today. I got an ice cream sundae yesterday for me and eryana, and I might get one today too. Why is it so important to mention in my blurty? Oh, maybe because it was snowing yesterday, and I walked through that crappy weather to have one. It was flippin' amazing. I can taste the nutty coconut ice cream in my mouth, what a nutty thing to say.

Today during break 22, San and I decided that all the boys who sit on the table across from us are so cute. Le sigh.

I also decided to snap at Paul today during trig, because apparently he raped our last quiz ...got a perfect score...and I'm flippin confused about the whole thing. Some people played the collective "ooooh" and harry potter next to me said "you love him". No Potter, I think I love you.

I think I have to fly to Austin/Midland TX this summer when the next potter book comes out. Just because that's where his biggest fan is. I know she looks up potter websites in her free time. I sent her snail mail a few days ago, because I love her so

I rapped to Dana today. She couldn't even handle "i'm a little teapot". I'm just practicing it so much, gotta get those beats right.

and this still makes me laugh
paul: my sister is a dumbass

and i dont know why, its not even that funny. probably only because paul said it. whatever paul says is painfully enlightening to all of us. i just remembered that michael buble's new cd is called "it's time" and that's where my inspiration for my senior will came from, and paul copied me and wrote the same thing down. little does he know he's really copying this piece of sex

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I am in a state of retrospect. [26 Feb 2005|05:37pm]
I feel like I am wasting time this semester. I have always had a full schedule with no study halls, and I've liked that. Now that I have barely any classes, I feel like I am missing out on some major social/meeting new people action. I never realized how much I love meeting new friends until a few days ago. There are so many names to learn and faces to get used to and acquaintances to begin, and I'm missing all of that. Even if I added that photojournalism class, and met freshman, it would have still been okay. As a senior, I think I am simply freaking out because I won't be back next year to meet new people. That's why I've always loved going back to school, seeing new people all the time. I can't meet all 2,800 students, but I just feel like I am missing out, majorly. I've met great people this year, but where was I last year? How did this anxiety come about? When I noticed MANY people this year that I could have noticed last year. And I don't even know some of these people, but I know their stories. I've been rather blind the past few years, and the only way to make it up is college.

Speaking of the devil, I threw out a lot of college crap. All of the college night packets, illinois university admissions sheet, UIC applications that never got sent in, fafsa packets. As well as some school stuff like the coursebook, paper blah. I felt so weird reading the coursebook. There are still many courses that I wanted to take but couldn't. Then the memories from all my years came back to me, people I knew that graduated, my old schedules, how I dealt with school work, I saw my PLAN scores, then my ACT scores. This is all contained in one of my paper rack things.

Though I had a weird unconventional high school experience, I am glad I spent a lot of my time on school. I missed out on potential corny boyfriends, and gossiping between girl cliques, and dances and morning make up sessions. I mssed out on a lot of that stuff, and that's usually what the standard experience for a teenage girl is composed of.

Then I remember that I'm not standard.

le sigh.

And I found a poem I wrote during US History last year, which was one of my favorite classes, only because of the people in there. Chris mckinney asked me to write a poem I think..because I used to read poems I wrote in creative to the boys who sat around me, or sometimes I used to read out of my journal to them. I remember looking around the history classroom, absorbing all the "images"..hahaha

Newspaper plaster the walls,
ancient font and faces
of the 50s and 60s appear so young,
but now dead.
Voices of frustrated teens
and one pre-pubescent boy, Brad,
fill this gloomy room.
Soundeaves of purple shades
bounce off the wall.
But a lonely black garbage can sits by itself
in the dark,
trying to rub against the wood
of the square desk.
And no one pays attention to it.
Not even the pearl colored plastic bag
inside the black box,
shows it the meaning of being lonely.
(BEGIN BACKSTREET BOYS MUSIC)

I am simply amazing, I'm sure the boys loved it. They probably didn't, but I'd like to think they did.

Haha, last night Dana and I and her dad and brother went to pita inn. They were talking about dogs, a big hokey pokey about which to buy. And the subject of names came up. I told them about when I used to live with my uncle when my house was being remodeled, and how my uncle bought 5 fish, and I named them after the backstreet boys. Sigh, I was 11.

And homeroom boy left me a voicemail last night, wanted to do something tonight, but I don't really feel like it. I don't feel like going out, nor explaining to my mom who he is, and that it's just a friendly date. Soooo I'm going to call him back tomorrow...that's okay right? I don't feel like going out at all actually, haha, except to go shoe shopping with my mom today.

And this post was brought to you by dashboard confessional. Maybe that's why I've been thinking in retrospect of my high school years, because this cd is SO sophomore year!
kbye
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Napolean bought me lunch today with his ID card... [23 Feb 2005|07:07pm]


It was really sweet of him.

After school I went chandelier/lamp shopping with my mom at menards. I think what we picked out won't match at all with the colors of the new room.

I told Juan he can never leave me in gym ever again. He said he was sorry and that it wouldn't happen again. He got a hair cut, and it's like dorky cute.

Ughhh

so my sister's principal called our house today...to talk to ME

She talked me into making a surprise 2 min speech at Eryana's D.A.R.E. graduation...*moans*...I'd rather not, but bleh. I'm going to. And it really is a surprise, other older siblings from the community are attending to make speeches as well, and their younger sibs don't know. guhhh

I've been a tired wreck lately. I'm up and ready to learn for Physics and Trig, I get into gym. I come home, and my brain just shuts off. I don't think I've played piano since last Thursday because I've been too tired to play. My piano teacher didn't come last time, I think he got caught up in other students. But um, yeah I think I should go play now. I've been slacking off incredibly. And Val's solo try out is this friday, and I am accompanying her on the piano. I haven't even gotten comfortable with le piece, we haven't even practiced it together. I secretly hope she forgets or something, because I don't really feel like doing it right now, even though it's a nice piece.

lebye
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*insert yell of irritation* [22 Feb 2005|03:00pm]
really, my mom should just stop. she will never quite really understand what im trying to get across to her, and the volume of my voice doesn't help. and she doesn't want to listen, and i'm suddenly in a really crappy mood. im done trying to help her around the house like i used to, being the second housewife and stuff. im done im done im done, and she has to realize that. im not into it, im not going to do it, and i know i should feel bad because shes doing all the work, but shes lays it upon herself. you dont have to clean every. single. day.

nikki and i finally presented paulstar with his real birthday gift. paul, you have to wash it. i even left post it notes in your sassy pants gift bag about it. you looked really cute today *stares with a blank face*

dana you looked pretty too...oh wait, im just talking to no one now.

i wrote sandi, dana, and paul letters during my study hall. for paul and dana i wrote really small, like asians do. i wrote in big cursive for sandi. i wrote about nothing in all 3 of theirs though. i heart them.

rumor has it that dana is going to prom? so a few people have been telling me this, and asking if im gonna go because shes now going. and i chuckle at them. its just not my thing. it shouldnt insult you that i dont want to go, so let me beee

juan wasnt here to stretch the class out today *bursts into tears* so mike decided to sit next to me and play juan for the day. he even tried to imitate his le cute accent. sigh sigh. my arm began to hurt when i played, probably because juanito pocito wasnt there to stretch me out

um.
haha

i think im going to walk to the gas station and buy me some almond joy. im dizzy from the shopping malls, i searched for joy, but i bought it all, it doesn't help the hunger pains, and a thirst I'd have to drown first to
ever satiate. my mom is making me go nuts, i swear.
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"I'm sorry, my fly's open and it's disorienting" [20 Feb 2005|01:18am]
[ mood | amused ]

Look how Mayer makes it into my life

My jean's button popped while hanging out with le paul by le lake tonight. those pants are my partner in crime. I bought the new tracks magazine...yessssss.....i bought a nerd love book...yesss....and i wouldnt have bought it if it werent for paul pointing it out...yessssss...being by the lake was nice. the only thing i learned from chemistry is that it's warmer by the lake in winter, because waters gives off heat.

that is such BS. i was so disappointed. physics definitely came up tonight when paul said his car was just coastin. well yes biatch it was coastin and slowing down due to the coeffecient of friction between the normal force of the car, and the surface friction...LE DUH gosh idiot!

paul entertained me with his inner thoughts. its going to be a television show, inner thoughts with paulstar, and i will be the only one with my tv dinner ready to watch. tivo it, kthnx! i was highly amused by what he said. it was like so Sophocles Artistotle Plato...SAP...SAPpy...nice...i cant put to words what i think most of the time, but he can, so i let him do it. let him get a little sappy by the lake...okay ew. anyway. i think computers are going to rule my great great great grandkids or something. but computers will rule humans with the aid of humans. like evil humans. humans who want to control other humans, but need computer assistance. le whatevs. all that matters it that paul's "bra"/bumper thing on his car says "le bra" on it, and it is OFFICIALLY the greatest piece of steel, le ever. and i dont give a damn that bree anne moles is irked by me saying le. le le le

and im not even taking AP environmental science and i hugged trees tonight. im sure it was a gay thing to do, only for chelsey lynne. then paul played the game of "oh im a tree hug me"...bark!...haha..*sees no one laughing*....alrighty...tough crowd...

earlier in the day dana and the gang picked me up to go have lunch at the corner bakery

me: is the corner bakery always on the corner?
danas mom: yes it is...wow that was a thing only you would think of

then jamison told her mom all about how me and his bassist are meant to be because we like hear music and distinguish keys in our sleep...and her mom asked me if he was cute and i was all "*nods head furiously*" haha

then her mom dropped the gang, dana-jamison-danas lil bro-me, at northbrook court.

i dont know WHAT got into me, but i got sooooooo tired and drowsy and laaaazy. i felt like jello.

even after my starbucks, i felt so dead. i bought a shirt and didnt bother to try it on. just ring it up like a gangsta.

i didnt even feel like talking. i felt like i woke up on the tired side of my bed this morning, and i hate that. i walk like a slug, i just feel dead.

we went into sharper image. no it wasnt sharper image. the mattress/comfy chair place.

jamison and matt both sat in the massaging chairs.

dana and i, having no room, sat on the mattresses.

jamison and matt are basically in front of the store. matt would press a button, and the chair would shake him. dana said it looked like he was doing the cha cha. then they both used the leg/foot massagers. jamison started laughing, like loud, because i guess it was tickling him. matt was next to him, doing the cha cha. both of them either laughing, or sighing

it was the oddest thing ever

so then me and dana didnt want to feel left out. she told them our mattress did the cha cha too.

so we pretended to press buttons on the mattress, and basically shimmyed like idiots. and i think they really fell for it. just sitting on the mattress was enough to let me knock out though haha

then her mom picked us up. and dropped me off by my dads office to do a bit of work. i joked with his clients a bit, about how much he should pay me haha. i got really bored though. fortunately my mom saved me and took me home.

by 9:30 i was staring at my computer screen, becoming more tired by the minute. oh look here, paul signs on...paul instigates a situation and says hes kidnapping..i tell the mother parental unit im going to aturs house haha...by 10 paul picks me up, and then we smoke a joint. then we rap.

sorry, i was watching eminems bio on VH1 yesterday. and he said most of the songs he had written on his second album in amsterdam was after smoking up. then he was like "no im just kidding" haha. i believed him hmm

oh and while at corner bakery, i saw a guy who graduated last semester. um le sigh big time, can we say biggest crush on him ever haha. looking good, looking good, haha

im going to church tomorrow with the mother and the sister. the sister is sick bahahahaha.

this morning i asked her "wheres mom" and she yelled/whispered back "lincolnwood produce" and i laughed inside because she lost her voice bahahah

dont worry, ill be sick in no time.

then after church, maybe with dana/nikki. whatever way the wind blows...

and my slug-itis wore off by midnight after hanging out with paul. i dont think paul had anything to do with it. maybe a little bit. ill say 10 mu coloumbs...10x10^-6 C to be exacto..

now im really wondering if homeroom boy has enough guts to call me and do something..can anything beat a chilly pretty night by the lake? with buttons popping, zippers unzipping? you tell me.

kbye

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I love the reactions from my last entry... [18 Feb 2005|02:11pm]
I like how people, only girls, opt not to leave me comments, but instead IM with a "wow, is that Paul? DAMN!". I'm just going to have a big banner ad of pics of him, make money off of it.

Just got back from school. The ride home is always so sleep-provoking. Blah blah, mom's talking about the worker, how she's angry, I'm replying with "yeahs", slowly drifting off onto Howard street.

Badminton was fun today. Mike, this boy I went to LH with, was imitating the way Juan says the stretches outloud, what a hater...Sandi thought it was weird that girls touch themselves...umm...okay...

"I'm gonna tell Paul"
"He already knows"

bahaha.

Then Juan started to stretch, and I was still talking to Sandi. I turned towards him, and his right arm was across after he said "right arm across". I was devastated. "Now we have to start all over again Juan, because you didn't wait for me" It's all about team work.

It was a free day, so we got to play whoever we wanted, and Sandi always wants to play Juan in a singles game, but I don't let him play by himself. Him and I as a team is too hot. Everytime we would score, I would say "it's too caliente up in here". TEAMWORK. When there would be a continuous serve, like the birdie wouldnt hit the floor after 10 hits and it was only between Juan and Sandi's partner, San coiined the term flirting for hitting the bird back and forth between two players and would say "stop flirting with each other". Then Sandi and I flirted with each other *giggles*.

Then Mike came over and told me to get out of the game because he was going to be Juan's partner. And I said no I'm still gonna play...and I did...I sat in the middle of the court, and laughed at two boys who were trying to impress me deeply with their skills.

Juan, seeing me sit down, said "flirt with me maria", and I was simply disappointed. He sold out to Mike. But then we made up when I was carrying his racket back to the rack, and he took hold of it to take it, but I said "we could take it back together like a team"

I love talking about him, because he has the greatest accent, and always translates words for me. I totally didn't know idiota in spanish meant idiot. I really thought it was a joke.

And Sandi during the game said in assyrian "my penis hurts". She definitely used the wrong term for female privates. I laughed way too much. I laughed on the floor about 10 times today in gym, it was good.

And cute things happened today. Chelsey will giggle at this one.
I talk to this one kid in homeroom, not a lot, but we're acquaintances. He's asked me a couple times what I do over the weekend, and I tell him the usual, and I ask the usual. A week ago, I felt like he was going to ask if we could hang out, but he didn't. I thought he would because he said "so...what are you gonna do this weekend." I just got a vibe.

But my vibe was correct! Today I was just lounging around, drinking my frappo, and he asked again what my plans were. I said blah blah nikki paul blah blah dana blah blah. Then I asked and he said "oh nothing."

Then he said he wanted to see the movie "hitch", and I was like "oh I watched that"

and he said "you did? aw damn"

haha um....points for me...it's getting hot now.

and then it was cute, he looked sorta nervous and was fiddling with his stuff. it seemed like he had a lot to say, but all he could blurt out was "so can i get your number, maybe we can like hang out or something over the weekend" and it was really quick and cute. how could i say no...

i'm not really into him though, but if he calls who knows...then i told nikki and she was like "wow i cant believe you did that"...haha...i like how my friends are so mean! dana told me i cant hang out with him, because ryan is back in ky, because we're going to get married according to jamison.

so this is def. one of those scenes out of the movie, or out of "made" on mtv, when the guy is like nervous and stuff, and the chick isnt even that cute...chels, le giggle worthy or what?

then i avoided him throughout the day. blah. i am so good at avoiding people, but maybe shouldnt do it ALL THE TIME

p.s. pauls hair is like nearly black now and it is soooooooooo TMLB-worthy. and you nikki and i must hang out together, before i use your birthday gift. and dont ever forget your id card in your pants when they go in the wash. i think everyone's id card should have my address label on the back, for emergencys sake. and why why why during trig did rigby say to me and paul while we were "arguing", "i love these two, always fighting about something". then patrick said "i swear theyre like a married couple". then harry potter said "yeah paul wishes". paul doesnt really have to wish anything from me with the new hair color le sigh big time.........

......yeah definitely kidding.

and i hugged nina and renya about 17 times today. i call them le "khayee" and stuff, which means my life, and libee, means my heart. its cute. and nina told me today how she broke up with her bf, and it was so cute because she didnt really like him haha. and i gave renya a drawing i made in her study hall. and i told her endlessly her hair looks so awesome. im all about making my little cousins feel like pretty queens.

and i took a physics test today but i wont talk about it.

and i talked to chelsey lynne for the longest time yesterday. actually it wasnt long, but id like to say it was because i miss her so le much.

AND i talked to nora. sigh. i love my personal diary people.
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Gosh, it's Paulstar's day of birth! [17 Feb 2005|12:00am]
You're gonna hate all this attention but...you're turning 18, so now all the ladies in places like Wyoming, Alabama, Idaho, and North Dakota can touch you. You better read this whole f*cking entry Paul.

Let me tell the story of your birth.

So your parents had like a great first daughter. So they decided to have another kid while in Poland, hoping the child would be just as great as the first born. They say all first borns are like awesome, but my brother is so overrated. Anyway. God blessed America, Greece, Poland and my early spirit (I was about 4 months developed in the womb) when you were born on Feb 17th 1987. So the world's like "alright, tis cool". The film industry was just waiting for a little star to be born, and lo and behold, a black hole was born. Jay kay. You're a star.

But then you got boring and annoying, so your parents had a third child, and she ended up being cuter and cooler than you anyway. It's tough luck. I understand you though, my parents also had a third child in my lousy pity. And yes, we have the home videos where my dad tells me to get out of the camera's way when they were filming little Eryana. Whatever. I'm over it.

This day will probably feel like any other day of the week for you. Bored, with ants in your pants, accumulated excitement until the minute you see me/talk to me. It's understandable. But...I think you should enjoy it, or something. Treat yourself to a day spa, relax and kick back knowing my friends are dreaming about you, have some green tea, sleep in, jack off, stare at your bangs, watch films, make videos, encompass all moving images and their kinetic energy, listen to no one but death metal singers, play no girls but your guitars, make your sisters buy you taco bell, feed your mexican dog polish food, make out with polish chicks, make out with assyrian chicks, drive to canada to get drunk legally, drive to canada to laugh at canadians, drive to california to be laughed at, drive to my house to brush up those weak trig skills, speak german at a chinese restaurant, dont speak polish to me, dont speak to dana. Simply put, be extra happy today, this week. I love Happy Paul.

Here are some gifts I picked out last week. I told the cashier "oh, just charge it on my credit card", and then the screen said "Access denied".

Then I said

"oh...my..gawd...guys...my mom cancelled my credit card...that bitch!"

So here they are, via blurty.

Martin OM-28JM John Mayer Signature...hahaha...


So you won't ever have to call me..."maria, play E for me"...here's a cute tuner


This would look so pretty with you...sigh... '66 Stratocaster


I have a matching shirt, Buddy Guy Polka Dot Stratocaster


Overdrive/Boost Pedal...use this on Tuesdays.


TREMOLO!!!


Oops, how did THAT get in here???


Epiphone Les Paul Standard Electric Guitar....Les Paul...I couldn't help it...


Just put this Fender Mini Tone-Master Guitar Amp in that backpack you never use...


Your virtual bartender.

le tears for le paul


Girls with long, black hair.


While this will be you in Poland producing some big film, drinking it up.....


this will be me, waiting for the pace bus to take me to Loyola/Depaul wherever I go in America


this is a joke I could hear from you


pi over 4 = 45 degrees!


This one is a threat from me to you...REPORT ME WHORE


One of the first most boring yet interesting stories you ever told me was the one when you went offroading with your dad. I don't even remember what the flip you said, I was busy staring at you and giggling, glad that you were talking to me then, flattered to walk with you to trig! Hah! NOW YOURE MY ESCORT B*TCH!!


No words needed.


I think the last few pics are just making my blurty readers laugh now. You probably stopped smiling after the first minute. Oh, but I don't care.

anyway

typical phone conversation





This entry has become more entertaining for my daily readers. I like that.

Happy Birthday Loser. Yes, I capitalize it, and no, that's not a good thing.

:)

and expect a real birthday present from us girlies on friday. we are so clueless on what to really buy you. im just going to give you my underwear, sprayed with my favorite perfume. only to add to your growing collection anyway.





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Feelin' blah is the new blues. [14 Feb 2005|03:16pm]
:(

I don't know how I lost my mood so quick.

After school I checked my mail. Yay. Norko sent me a cute vday card, a spiderman one. It was possibly the nicest and smallest thing anyone could do. It's amazing how he never fails to make me, or the other ladies, smile. Love, love, love.

Then I had nothing to do but play piano, and I just got so down even before I played. Ugh. Stupid things in my mind. And I couldn't stop thinking about it whilst playing. I didn't even feel like playing, but I wanted to. I just lounged around, sitting there, staring at the keys, trying to think of a song that I really like. I was in the mood for nothing. But I was just overthinking things and horomones got messed up, and I felt so blah. I wish I could play the blahs.

I was playing in the wee small hours. If I play a song enough times, it becomes reeeeally boring, and while playing it, my hands do whatever by themselves, and my brain drifts. Sometimes I think about things, sometimes my brain makes up new music to go along with what I'm playing.

I came across one part of the song, right before the beginning of a climax. I don't know how to explain it. But I just heard a sound, a different chord, than the way the song originally goes. So here goes about 10 minutes, playing that part of the song reeeeally slow, fitting extraordinary chords to one single note to produce a precedent feeling in my brain. I eventually got what I wanted. Really simple actually, F to d half diminshed 7th. it was that A going to Aflat. i love half step bends in music, they can hit your e-spot, and by e, i mean like emo. like emotional.

When my mom dropped me off home, I was bending down in the car to get my stuff, and I guess the sun was shining nice on my hair

her- wow your hair looks great like that. i like it. dont you like it now that its short?

me- yeah :/

my mom is one of a kind. last friday on the way home she told me the whole story of how her, my dad and brother escaped from baghdad, and how my dad ran away from the army, and how he left her and rabel in baghdad for 2 years until she finally decided to run away with him. it was like an amazing story.

and she told me about her jobs back then, and her airport outfits. which were like white and green, iraq's colors. fitted high waist skirts, clean cut jackets, the whole package. my mom was probably so killer back then. but so shy. i dont know how my dad ever talked to her.

funny story

a few days ago, my mom was laying in bed while my dad was changing to go to work. she picked up the phone to call our polish construction man, wesley.

her-"wesley, where are you? im waiting for you"

my dad
COULDNT stop cracking up for the life of him

him-"look at you, in bed, telling him youre waiting for him"

hahahahahahaha
my mom got a kick out of her oblivion, my dad was all about good laughs. i love how my family is comfortable about those kinds of funny things. he was sorta surprised that she told me, but he laughed it off with me. my parents are old, so when we joke about these things, its not weird for some reason. theyre cool, i love them

i love how i can tell everything im not comfortable with saying in my blurty to megan. shes like a personal blurty for me, as well as nora.

i'm so jealous that i'm not the guest star in dana's inappropriate dreams :*(

I'm still sorta bummed out, still feelin the blahs. Guh. bye.
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