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I need to stop meddling with my eyebrows. If I tweeze/cut/mess with them any more I'm going to have no eyebrows. I will be eyebrow-less. That's disgusting.
While we're on the subject of physical appearance, I'm too white. I need to get tan. But I don't want to harm my skin. Maybe I'll invest in a bronzer. But wait. This is China. They don't sell bronzers in China, because heaven forbid, we are already tan enough. And tan here is not pretty, folks. It's all about looking as pale as a sheet. That's beauty.
Oh, for fuck's sake. Fuck it. I'll just lower my SPF and stay out in the sun a bit longer. I know it's horrible but I'd rather go tan and risk skin cancer than be pasty white and look fugly.
Which leads us to... I need to lose some more weight. And eat less, fuck it. Why do I keep stuffing my face. I have no idea. I must get rid of this stomach pudge soon. It is DEBILITATING!!! And I'm going shopping today!!! Which means I will get my ass into the gym within the next half an hour for a well-deserved workout!!!
MUST GET TAN MUST GET TAN MUST GET TAN
MUST LOSE WEIGHT MUST LOSE WEIGHT MUST LOSE WEIGHT!
MUST GROW OUT BANGS MUST GROW OUT HAIR NO MORE BANGS EVER AGAIN!!!
I don't know why I thought bangs were a good look for me. They look so unnatural.
I like how my face looks here:
See, no bangs. Good ol' days.
6:06 PM
Retail therapy really actually works. I'd always read in chick lits how the protagonists feel SOOO much better after shopping. I'd never quite believed in the power of retail therapy until now. I'm completely (well, not completely, but read on to see why) satisfied and happy with what I bought today. And with myself! :)
So this morning threatened to be a disastrous one. While I was working out I got a message from Karen saying that she couldn't make it today because of something with her sister. I was completely devastated! I tried to calm down, but even running didn't work. I just got sooo worked up. I sent back some scathing-ish text messages full of wallowing and self-pity -- bad, nasty, disgusting traits that I possess and which come through in times of distress. Thankfully, Karen didn't get pissed at me. She said she "felt bad" and was trying to convince her mom to let her go shopping with me. After a while I sort of cooled down and texted my apologies. ANYWAY. It all turned out GOOD in the end because her mom let her! And so, I met her at 2:15 PM at China World... and off we went!
First we hung around China World for a little bit, but all the stores there are REALLY, really high-end. Like Stella McCartney, Dior, Chanel, LV, you know. The brands which we absolutely cannot afford. So we soon left and hailed a cab for Shin Kong. Except there was a little miscommunication going on with the cab driver and she drove us all the way to Oriental Plaza before I realized the mistake. Turned out that since I didn't know the name of The Place in Chinese, she'd asked me if it was Oriental Plaza and I'd just hurriedly agreed. So that was a waste of like, 15 kuai. Anyway... we finally got to the right place and headed straight for Zara, which was our goal destination for our shopping trip! Seriously, we stalked towards it (or more like leaped and bounded) like a pair of heat-seeking missiles.
IT WAS FABULOUS IN THERE!!!!!!!! I LOVE ZARA!!!!!!!! Now I see why there's so much hype about it. It's FANTABULOUS!!!!! I could live in there. And guess what else. WE SAW STEPH THERE TOO!!! With her little brother. Talk about major coincidence!!! She was there shopping avec her madre. Anyway... I guess I should describe what it was like being in Zara, looking at racks and racks and racks of wonderful awesome fucking gorgeous clothes and just piling shirt after shirt after shorts into your arms, waiting to try them all out in the dressing room. It was bliss, it really was. Everything there is beautiful. Everything I wanted. I walked into the dressing room with 8 items, and narrowed it down to three pairs of shorts and a shirt I wasn't TOO sure of. But of course -- I didn't bring that much money with me. (400 kuai doesn't CUT IT.) So in the end I made the drastic decision and bought this pair of really nice white knee-length pants (which, as I just reread in my previous entry, was actually on my shopping list!). I'm still kind of pining for the pair of black short shorts I left back there though... sigh. The pair of shorts I bought was 269 and so were the pair of black shorts. Anyway... guess what. After I tried on the knee-length shorts I went out of the dressing room to ask Karen her opinion and she said, "You have really nice legs Corrie!"
YOU CANNOT BELIEVE HOOOOWWW FLATTERED I WAS!!! Like seriously. Like it was just suddenly -- WOW, all those gym trips and work outs are really paying off! And it was just sooo motivating for me. Like now I'm actually super determined to continue hitting the gym and continue to work on my supposedly "great" legs. And Karen said I should buy the knee-length shorts too because she said I should show off my legs in them. WOW. Like -- myself, I'd never thought I had great legs, but now that Karen told me... I'm pleased. :] She even said, "Ugh, I want to kill you, you have such great legs!"
GOOD JOB SELF!!! *pats on back*
And when I got home and put them on to show Dad, he complimented me too!!! He said I have a "monster figure," which is literally translated from Chinese. It means I have a good figure. :):):):):) So yeah. Gym tomorrow? HELLS YEAH!!!
Yay. I'm glad I'm blessed with a great pair of stems. Which I will WORK WORK WORK my ASS off to maintain!
And I'll wear them to school when I tell R. I'm quitting the team! It will make his heart bleed! :P Ha ha ha ha ha.
Later we went to Mango (MNG) and I FINALLY SAW THE VESTS THAT I'VE BEEN PINING FOR!!! There were three -- a normal black one, a cropped black one, and a pink and white striped cropped one. I tried them all on and I fell in the love with the pink and white vest!!!! But it's 355... :( No more money in my wallet for that. So I put it on reserve with the MNG staff, while at the same time devising a plan to dig more money from my mom.
Anyway when I got home, I told my dad about the vest, and I asked him if he thought Mom would give me the money for it, and he said probably... so here's hoping! The vest is on reserve for maximum three days, so I'm hoping I can buy it on Thursday....... hope hope hope!!! I love it sooo damn much. It would look PERFECT with a fitting white or black or grey or ANY COLOR tank top! I also sort of want the normal black vest that I also tried on... but I don't dare to hope too much. I would be ecstatic just for the pink and white vest.
I'll try asking Mom during dinner. Or tomorrow. I'm just glad I have it on reserve!!!
Sorry about this entry being so bubbly and perky and EXCLAMATION MARKy and CAPPY... I'm just sooo happy and contented right now, it's really amazing how different I feel from in the morning when I was seriously distressed and unhappy. :) So... LOVE!!! And I have my party on Friday to look forward too, EVEN BETTTER!!! CLUBBING CLUBBING DUN DUN DUN!
9:51 PM
My dad is sooo much cooler than my mom about stuff concerning money. HE offered to get me a hotel room for my party. I didn't even have to suggest it to him!!! And my mom agreed, so they started talking about what hotels they should book. My dad said he wants to book me a good hotel!!! I CAN'T BELIEVE IT. I had to DRAG my ass on the ground just to get my mom to AGREE to a hotel... stupid. Anyway, I turned down the hotel idea because I figured, if they're willing to spend so much cash on me, why don't I just use to buy some more clothes? (Yes, I'm addicted, ha ha ha.) Anyway. I've yet to formally ask my parents for the money, but I'll bring it up with my mom tomorrow. After all, she is the cash holder of the family. All our money goes into her hands, whether we like it or not. My dad doesn't keep any of the money that he earns, poor guy. Throughout dinner I thought incredulously to myself, What does my dad see in my mom? I'm sure he fell for her beauty first, because her personality is not exactly that attractive, to be honest. I know I myself am less than perfect -- but there's such a big contrast between my dad's personality and my mom's that sometimes I just wonder how they've managed to stick together for so long. If I was married my mom I'd go insane and get a divorce within two months.
Sadly, a kid cannot divorce his/her parents. Sadly.
I wish I had a job so I could earn my own money instead of asking my mom for cash. I think I'll hook myself up to a tutoring job and earn my own cash. Seriously. I'm feeling like I'm starting to need more money with me. Karen teaches piano for half an hour for 100 kuai once per week. (!!!) I think I can tutor a small kid in math or something and charge some money too.
Shopping list:
- good concealer
- big necklaces
- THAT VEST!!! -- I have an idea. I'll negotiate with my mom for it. First I'll tell her I want to find a job. Then I'll tell her about the vest I saw. Then I'll offer a deal -- if she'll give me the money NOW, I'll pay it back to her through the money that I earn.
- a basic tank
I have to find myself a job. Have to have to have to. I'll look into summer opportunities too. Hmmm... this is exciting. :)
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