MaorianAngel

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12th September 2014

9:03pm: All Shook Up
Jay messaged me out of nowhere tonight. Dear Jesus Saves, I'm a wreck right now. Every once and while he does this and it sends me in a spin. I'm for real shaking right now. I have nothing but good memories of all our times together. I know we weren't meant for each other, I could never live the life of the GM wife. Not me, not even a little bit. He loved my wild side, but couldn't handle it. I loved his stability, but couldn't handle it. I know that if I ever really needed something, no matter how ridiculous, at 3am, he would be there.

I guess every girl should have that constant in her life.

I'm going to listen to Ride the Wind and cry for a minute. Then back to our regularly scheduled program...
Current Mood: loved
Current Music: Poison

7th July 2014

11:13pm: Hot Summer Nights
Kind of decent out tonight. I need to sew tomorrow. No more putting it off. Not feeling 100 percent. Trying to fight off all this sickness everyone else has had. No time to be sick. In happy news, less then a month away from Boney Bunch! August 2nd is the release party. I had a lot of fun with Justin last year getting them. Trying to decide what to do about the village. Do I keep on with it or let it go? Trying to be realistic. Stina is in NC with Chris. Nice break with that.

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Current Mood: drained
Current Music: Josh Wink

5th July 2014

1:47pm: Doses And Mimosas
I am 44 today. I don't know what that means. I'm not sure if it means anything at all. I don't know what 44 feels like. If asked, I would say I don't feel 44. I actually feel timeless, is that pompous to say so? The winter depression has finally lifted. The anxiety seems to have extended it's lease though. Not sure what we are doing tonight, our normal plans have fallen through. Truth be told, I don't feel like doing much of anything. I'd rather like to lay on the couch and read. I should be sewing.

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Current Mood: contemplative
Current Music: Ambient Radio On Pandora

3rd July 2014

7:22pm: How Far Is Heaven
I swear it was December 2 hours ago. I'm not quite sure how it got to be July. Very rough year so far. Many good things, as always, but many difficult things as well. Focusing on making the remainder of the year positive.
Not very warm today. Only got up to 65. We haven't really seen summer yet. It has mostly hovered around the low 70's. Hit mid 80's a scant amount of times, nothing to brag about yet. I am skeptical about us seeing any 90's this year.
Weight is up, isn't it always? Work is brutal, typical.
Justin and I are surviving. Don't know how else to word that.
We bought a used camper, we named it Moriarty. I really enjoy it. Hoping to take it up to the UP this summer.
TTFN

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8 8 8
Current Mood: lethargic
Current Music: KT

8th February 2014

9:42pm: Cupids Arrow
She remembered the day vividly, for how can you forget the day your heart is broken? The funny thing about a broken heart is that it's not fatal. Though you wish in vain that it were, life continues on and you have no choice but to continue on with it. You take the hand that fate has dealt you and you press forward because there is nothing else that can be done.

Today is the 10 year anniversary of the day that I told Justin I loved him.

That's all I have to say about that
Current Mood: sick
Current Music: Gypsy

7th February 2014

9:40pm: Peter Never Came
How I envy the lost boys. Most people would think them a sad lot, no mothers, no fathers, never growing up and doing adult things. I disagree, what a splendid life, no worries, never growing old, no pains, just the good kind of scary monsters, not the hideous ones like MORTGAGE PAYMENTS or CAR INSURANCE or one of the scariest ones of all, DIVORCE. Those are the worst kind.

Things have been rocky here at Obsidian Hall. The war the planets raged in January carried over into my Dark Abode. We barely made it out of that one. Now our favorite planet Mercury has graced us with one of her thrice yearly retrogrades. So, all eyes on March? We went and had some spiritual healing done. It helped some but I fear a bigger riff has been created. I don't know if I will ever completely heal. I feel so numb to it all. Remember when each day didn't just feel like we survived?

It's bitter cold, has been for most of this winter. I've been doing some research into the winter of 1880-1881 and this one seems to be fairly close to it. It's really fascinating. The snow doesn't bother me, I wish we would get a real and true shut your life down blizzard. Are those even possible any longer in this age of technology? The bitter cold is what takes it toll on me. Those single digits and below make me sad and hurt.

My candles are a joy. The one proverbial light in the darkness.

Weirdly enough, work isn't to bad. The same day to day stressors are there, but the beds are full and money is coming in. So yeah, I got that going for me.

KT next weekend. The usual Limo ride and fanfare there. Peace can be found there.

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8 8 8

Hall and Welcome
Stay if you can, go if you must.
Current Mood: cold
Current Music: Honey Hush

6th January 2014

10:34pm: Do I Have To Fall Asleep With Roses In My Hands
I was doing really good, then the infinite sadness got a hold of me yesterday. I'm sure it's a combination of Justin being gone and the weather. It's -7 right now. I should probably stop listening to moody music as well. I'm sure that's adding to it. Anxiety is sitting right next to me too. Looks like we have a lot of work today and it's going to be quite the evening.

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8 8 8

Remembering the Blizzard of '78 today. I cried a lot. I miss my Dad and Grandparents. That's all I have to say about that.
Current Mood: sad
Current Music: INXS

2nd January 2014

2:28am: We Are Not Amused
I've never seen a diamond in the flesh
I cut my teeth on wedding rings in the movies
And I'm not proud of my address,
In a torn-up town, no postcode envy

But every song's like gold teeth, grey goose, trippin' in the bathroom
Blood stains, ball gowns, trashin' the hotel room,
We don't care, we're driving Cadillacs in our dreams.
But everybody's like Cristal, Maybach, diamonds on your timepiece.
Jet planes, islands, tigers on a gold leash.
We don't care, we aren't caught up in your love affair.

And we'll never be royals (royals).
It don't run in our blood,
That kind of luxe just ain't for us.
We crave a different kind of buzz.
Let me be your ruler (ruler),
You can call me queen Bee
And baby I'll rule, I'll rule, I'll rule, I'll rule.
Let me live that fantasy.

My friends and I—we've cracked the code.
We count our dollars on the train to the party.
And everyone who knows us knows that we're fine with this,
We didn't come for money.

But every song's like gold teeth, grey goose, trippin' in the bathroom.
Blood stains, ball gowns, trashin' the hotel room,
We don't care, we're driving Cadillacs in our dreams.
But everybody's like Cristal, Maybach, diamonds on your timepiece.
Jet planes, islands, tigers on a gold leash
We don't care, we aren't caught up in your love affair

And we'll never be royals (royals).
It don't run in our blood
That kind of luxe just ain't for us.
We crave a different kind of buzz.
Let me be your ruler (ruler),
You can call me queen Bee
And baby I'll rule, I'll rule, I'll rule, I'll rule.
Let me live that fantasy.

Ooh ooh oh
We're bigger than we ever dreamed,
And I'm in love with being queen.
Ooh ooh oh
Life is great without a care
We aren't caught up in your love affair.

And we'll never be royals (royals).
It don't run in our blood
That kind of luxe just ain't for us.
We crave a different kind of buzz
Let me be your ruler (ruler),
You can call me queen Bee
And baby I'll rule, I'll rule, I'll rule, I'll rule.
Let me live that fantasy.
Current Mood: optimistic
Current Music: Josh Wink

1st January 2014

2:24am: Janus
Another year has left us. This was a strange year. It was a hard year. It was also a good year. I am focusing on this next year to be positive, prosperous and productive.

My list of things to remember, as always, no order.

Dark Candles - I officially purchased the business on 12/28/12. I still have days where I can not believe it is mine. I have grown the company and the customer base. I love it beyond measure.

Convocation - Marketed the Candles. Met new friends. Learned new things. Won the alter that was used at the Witches Ball.

Christopher - Got a job as a Corrections Officer. I'm proud of him. He is doing well.

Stina - Purchased Sharon's old reenacting kit for her for her Birthday. She was pleased and now her and Bailey have their own gear.

Pagan Fest - Enjoyed it to the fullest. Darcy and Stina went with me. Learned much. Continued to forge friendships. Got drenched, for real twice. Excellent storm.

Gettysburg - It was the 150th. I had a moment on the 1st morning, I was walking all alone up a hill and saw the sun rising, stopped and thought about were my life had been at the 135th and the 140th. I am blessed and thankful for all the wonderful things my life has become. Had a great time with both kids. Stina left with Chris to go stay at his house the rest of the summer.

Annual Summer Gathering - I adore this event. I will be returning next year. Once again, learned so much and made new friends and connections. Scary storm, I put protection around the house while I was gone. A tornado ripped down Broadway. Our house was spared, no damage. Our magickal willow holds.

North Carolina - My sister went with me to pick up Stina. That was the most time we had spent together. Very good trip. Found a new way to go home. So beautiful. Blue Ridge Mountains. Almost Heaven.

Decadence Dolls - Worked with Autumn many times this year. Love how it makes me feel. Who would have thought I could still model at 43?

Halloween - No village this year, still enjoyed the house. The party was excellent. Larger then past years and full of fun.

Voodoo - Grows and grows. So proud of how hard they all work and once again, how blessed we all are. We put on several events, most notable, Hellzapoppin. It was a traveling side show that Justin was able to bring to the area. Great turnout and good vibes.

Christmas Tide - It was so magickal this year. We started it with Kenneth Thomas the weekend before Thanksgiving. My soul, my soul. The house was so lovely. I loved every moment of the decorations. We got to see KT again on the Solstice. I have no words. Christmas Day was the most peaceful day I have had in decades. I so wish I was better with words. Then spent NYE at the Grasshopper once again, we have found our place. Long time coming.
Current Mood: grateful
Current Music: Greensleeves

25th November 2013

11:00pm: Rebmevon
Moon in Virgo

30 Degrees

Warmer today then the past few days. No real snow yet, but it has been bitter cold. Weird that it is this cold already.

I'm still in a good place from the other night. I hope to retain that through the Holidays.

I made some Christmas socks for one of Voodoo's radio give-a-ways. Things continue to go well there. We have weathered the latest storms there with the personal changes. I would like for this to be the last change.

I started dancing again. Belly Dance this time. I really like it. I feel so good when we are done with class. The instructor is very hands on so I never feel lost.

My Dark Candles website is still down. It's making me just sick. I am thankful for my webmaster, I would be crazy right now if not for him.

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Current Mood: pleased
Current Music: A Day To Remember

23rd November 2013

9:54pm: TranceGiving
P L U R

These are the days that we'll talk about
Many nights from now
If we get old somehow, ohhh
Young and astranged, so alive right now.
Write this feeling down.
If we get old somehow.
These are the days that we'll talk about!
Oh ooh oooh!
These are the days that we'll talk about!
Oh ooh oooh!
If we get old somehow, these are the days that we'll talk about!

These are the days that we'll talk about
Many nights from now
If we get old somehow

These are the days that we'll talk about!
Oh ooh oooh!

These are the days that we'll talk about!
Oh ooh oooh!

These are the days that we'll talk about!

Oh ooh oooh!
If we get old somehow, these are the days that we'll talk about

KT fucking killed it...and he always knows how to end it.

See you on the Solstice
Current Mood: peaceful
Current Music: Audien

21st November 2013

10:16pm: Do You Hear What I Hear
Tired. Has there ever been a time I wasn't tired? Do I even know what not tired feels like? I had to be at work extremely early this morning because of an audit. The audit went well. Nothing dramatic there for a change. Until tomorrow of course, that's when fresh new drama shows up. I had my CDC meeting tonight. I had to run the meeting. The chairperson wasn't there and I'm Vice-Chair. I got asked to sit on yet another council. That meeting is tomorrow night. I don't like the idea of it being on a Friday. I like that to be my "get things done" day. I will go. Civic duty and all that. It's funny, had you told me five years, hell even three years ago that I would have political aspirations I would have never believed you. That in and of it's self is a long story. It starts with the fact that the current Mayor and I used to be in a band together and ends with all of us taking over the city as the grown up business owning responsible adults we all wound up being. I will fill in the middle parts later. My city government commitments are taking up just as much time as work.
I'm excited to be going to KT this weekend. I like when Justify shows the Voodoo Krewe a proper good time. I have no idea what to wear. At least I don't have to wear any hair.

Today it has been 11 years since my Dad died. I remember I was at work(of course). Tom held me. Then took me home. I had to go tell my Grandparents. My poor Grandmother. You never expect a child to pass before you. That's all I have to say about that.

It's raining, I'm sure it will turn to snow. My Dad was good at that.

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8 8 8

Peace
Current Mood: okay
Current Music: KMFDM

20th November 2013

8:12pm: Baby, It's Cold Outside
Where have you been? Well, hell and back you could say. I've tried time and time again to keep up in my handwritten journals, epic fail. I can't even read most of my writing. So strange to see how life has evolved. I have stated many times, "It gets better as you get older". So very true. I am thankful I am who I am now and not the person I was seven years ago. Seven years, why do life cycles seem to move in seven year cycles? If I saw that person from seven years ago, I would not know her or understand why she was so sad. There is little sadness these days. The sadness that does come is from missing a lost loved one, or seeing someone I care about it pain. There is no room in my life for sad songs or bitter memories. I have forgotten more hurts then those that I have recalled.

Going to see Kenneth Thomas this weekend, VIP and in a limo. This is my church, this is where I heal my hurts. I am thankful. Thankful for all we have accomplished and all we have received.

I just noticed the time on the update was 20:12. Poetic Justice

37 Degrees
Moon Waning 90.4%
Cancer

It's that crazy Voodoo

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8 8 8
Current Mood: exanimate
Current Music: Fleetwood Mac

31st August 2012

8:34pm: Ohana
I can't do it Blurty. I suck at the other journal. I had to come back to you. Tonight is a "Blue Moon". Being the Cancer that I am, I feel the moons pull immensely tonight. I'm completley unproductive and very moody. As Charlie Brown would say...UGH! It's a hot August night. The very last night of August. It's still 87 degrees out right now. I can't believe summer has come to an end already. I can't say it hasn't been a full summer. This has to have been the busiest one on record yet. My planner shows no mercy either. I am completely booked solid until November 1st. Then after that I have to prepare for Bustle By The Bay. It has been exciting being involved in so many things. I have spread myself a bit thin, to bad it hasn't worked on my body. Weight is the same. That ongoing struggle of my life. Work still remains at it's Hamburger Hill status. As usual Carelink fucked with me today, you can always count on them to ruin a Holiday weekend. In other news, the shop is off the charts. I can't say enough about those guys. They have never lost sight of who they are or where they came from either. Ok, I feel better that I have talked to you, I know I didn't say much, but it helped. So, see you soon, Blurty!

Trinka Five
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8 8 8

Hearse On, Rave Up

PS The Hearse looks and runs amazing, she looks like she did the day she rolled off the line at ACCUBUILT.
Current Mood: moody
Current Music: Kenneth Thomas <3

12th January 2012

12:01am: Couldn't Resist
I miss you Blurty, real bad, the other journal just isn't the same...
Current Mood: drained
Current Music: Nick and Justify Talking

17th September 2011

1:54pm: Why
Why Blurty? Do you keep doing this to me, Why? Well you won't get away with this time. I have an external hard drive and I know how to use it.
Current Mood: rushed
Current Music: AwolNation

12th September 2011

2:35pm: Thank God
I was having a complete meltdown due to Blurty being down. I thought I lost my memories.

I will up date when I get home. Just stopped in to see if it was working.,
Current Mood: relieved
Current Music: Nox Arcana

24th August 2011

9:57pm: Under Oath
Hi

I was a complete monster today.
Current Mood: angry
Current Music: The Civil Wars

19th August 2011

5:30pm: Cosi Fan Tutte
Sorry Blurty, I know I haven't been keeping you updated on life. Well, I have a good excuse, it's CRAZY BUSY. Way busier then usual. My most exciting update is...

I GOT TO CREATE WARDROBE FOR A REAL MOVIE!!! The actress that I made the clothes for is even on IMDB. The other girl I didn't get to make her clothes, but I styled her. It was an awesome experience. I made some really good connections as well. I'm positive I will be getting more work in that realm.

CaraMia's Night has the East Bank Market again this weekend. I got invited back for another two weekends in September. I need to get my stock back up. So much is happening for me on this front right now. I'm anxious for Teddy to move so I can take over that damn building.

I went to the Doctor today. He is more then thrilled with the progress I have made. He reduced the meds once again. I'm so thankful. It's so hard for me to take medicine. I trust him though. He hasn't tried to put me on a ton of shit I don't need. I feel better then I have in so long.

Work is the usual hellish nightmare. No sense in even wasting any thoughts or space on that.

On a sad note, no Halloween at my house again this year. I can't even believe it. This is just crazy. I can't believe we can't get this done. I've never had such a hard time getting people to do work for money in my life.

I came up with a really cool tattoo idea for my Halloween sleeve though. So that will help make me feel a little better.

Hearse On, Rave Up
Current Mood: optimistic
Current Music: The Choir

12th August 2011

1:56am: Heaven Isn't To Far Away
Jani Lane is dead. He was 47.

This is just as upsetting to me as when Lane Staley died. I'm having a hard time expressing my emotions.

Sleep well Brother.
Current Mood: crushed
Current Music: Uncle Tom's Cabin

29th July 2011

6:55pm: 265
I did go to Ohio, it actually turned out better then I hoped for. Until...the way home. Paula's husband if a fucking pyscho. If he had such a damn problem with her going he should have just said no. Other then that, it went pretty well. Nicole and Mandy didn't even fight.

So, the offical shut down of Berkley is October 1st. If we even make it that long. Especially with Mercury going into retrograde, yeah right. I have anxiety. I'm worried about what will happen to some of the clients, but as the song says, "I can't take anymore".

I got my labs done on Wednesday, those were great. The doctor is so pleased. I am too. I've worked really hard to combat this. I will not let this get me.

East Bank Market again tomorrow. I got asked to be the featured artist on August 4 for 1st Thursdays as well. My banner came today too! So CaraMia's Night is doing great. I also got word that Teddy will be moved out on October 1st so it's time to bring the gallery back. It's going to be different this time and more amazing.

I know it's only July but I'm excited for Halloween already. Please Lord, let this house be ready.

Keep Calm
Rock On
Current Mood: optimistic
Current Music: The Civil Wars

18th July 2011

1:07am: Guess Who Was VIP Again Last Night?
So, out of nowhere, Justify gets dropped off VIP tickes for Finding Clyde and Lynard Skynard. Pretty damn wild. We had an amazing time. Got spoiled as usual. Justify said he only spent 9.00 the whole night. Those guys really take good care of us. It was old home week in VIP, even saw my old boyfriend Jay. Justify made fun of him and said he looked like Tom. What the hell is it with these guys and Michigan football? ROFL Got some really good shots. Overall had a grand time.

I'm supposed to go to Ohio this weekend for ghost hunting. I don't want to go. I have come to loath being around Mandy and Nicole. I can't stand that user bitch Shelly who has attached herself to them either. As much as I want to see that building, the thought of spending an entire precious weekend with them turns my stomach.

Very hot out last couple of days. About time. It's still 82 degrees right now. Alas, it won't last. Probably get cold after this week. HaHa

I made a few cool retro baby doll dresses. I will be selling those at the next East Bank Market event. I'm hoping to do well there again. I really am into that.

Thank you for your many blessings SH. BV, SJ, SA and Baron. Watch over and keep us all.

Trinka Five
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8 8 8

As above, so below, so mote it be.

Hearse On, Rave Up

Oh, I almost forgot, Jason came over today and he is picking up the Pink Cadillac! I'm so excited to have her finally underway.
Current Mood: sleepy
Current Music: The Civil Wars

13th July 2011

1:56am: Now I Remember Why We Work So Hard
I have to record this so I don't forget anything. Tonight was the Sick Puppies, Pop Evil, Egypt Central and Finding Clyde show sponsered by...VOODOO TATTOO. Fucking Amazing!!!! To date, this is probably one of the biggest things we have done. The Corporate guys catered to us in every way possible. We all went, the whole shop plus wives and girlfriends. It was a great feeling to be able to have our staff treated like kings. The bands were so thankful for all we did. Once again, Pop Evil played 100 in a 55 for me. This is the second time, but this was the first time in front of 20,000 people. When we walked through that gate and saw Justify's banner hanging there...I was at a loss...I teared up so many times tonight. I am such an emotional fool. lol I enjoyed myself to the fullest. All four bands were great. Finding Clyde all had on Voodoo shirts. I couldn't stop smiling. Pop Evil were happy as always to see us. Justify has made some good friends there. Lynn and Matt from the station had the crowd cheer for Voodoo four different times. My heart was so full seeing the look on Justify and the rest of the gangs face. We had catered food and drinks. Then Burnaround played the after party. Me and the guitar player, Steve used to be in a band togther about 100 years ago. We sat and told stories and had everyone dying. I just can't seem to get it all out. I can't stop smiling. I love our Voodoo family and I'm so prould of their talent and how hard they work. Once again, I have to say, I know it's hard sometimes, I know the stress is through the roof, I wouldn't trade if for anything. I love our life and I love our krewe and I love what we have worked for and built. It's nice to feel better too.

Thank you, Thank you, Thank you SH, BV, SJ, SA and Baron for the many, many blessings you give us.

Trinka Five
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8 8 8

As above, so below, so mote it be

Hearse On, Rave Up

I probably forgot about thousand details, but I just wanted to let some of it out before I burst. I got tons of pics too.
Current Mood: giddy
Current Music: C2C

10th July 2011

12:24am: An Ideal Husband
"It is not the perfect, but the imperfect, who have need of love. It is when we are wounded by our own hands, or by the hands of others, that love should come to cure us -- else what use is love at all? All sings, except a sing against itself, love should forgive. All lives, save loveless lives, true love should pardon."

Oscar Wilde, was there ever a more romantic and tragic character? Today went very well. It made me excited to start the gallery again. It's been on my mind almost everyday. After seeing the reaction people had to me and my things, gave me that flight of fancy I needed. Yet another crossroads in my life.

Even though today was excellent, I have much anxiety.

The weather is to my liking.

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Knight of Wands
Queen of Cups

Peace I need
Current Mood: thankful
Current Music: Salem

8th July 2011

9:37pm: Not Long Past, Your Past
I met with Severin today. Why do I always feel like that "in-awe 14 year old girl" still when I'm around him? I felt amazing when I left there. I think the term once again is validation. We all came from such simple humble places and by some vortex or strange dynamic we have ebbed and flowed out of each others lives on a constant, each time returning to the "we're getting the band back together" mode with more to bring to the table. I smile when I think of all of us back then, like some bad episode of That 70's Show. We all are older, fatter, wiser, richer but we all think we are still those reckless teenagers who are invincible.

In other news, my "real" job is spiriling into the abyss. I'm positive CYM is done on 9/1. I'd be ok with that if I wasn't so nervous about FFM's ability to stay afloat. Moneywise, things are majorly improved. The staff although seem to have made it their personal mission to fuck as much shit up as possible so the State has every reason to shut us down. Oh, and did I mention Keenan is completely checked out?

Tomorrow is a big day for CaraMia's Night. I'm nervous as hell about it, but you have to put yourself out there if you ever want anything wonderful to happen.

I am working on getting my WWII kit together. I'm going to do a Red Cross impression. I am struggling with those orginal patterns from the 40's. It's like reading another language. Actually, I can read another language easier then I can those patterns. I found a few dresses on etsy I may order to get by until I can produce something of my own.

Electric Forest. I could cry when I talk about it. That's how emotional it was. Jesus wept I'm sure. Sounds like they are doing it again next year. Response was outstanding. I am so buying an RV. For real. Yes. An RV.

VooDoo sponsered a whole day of music at the Showboat, we did Sick Puppies, our good freinds Pop Evil, Finding Clyde and someone else...I forget. lol We got serious VIP for that show so all of VooDoo is going including the wives and the girlfriends. Should make for an interesting night. I love my husband and I'm proud of him. He's the Goddamn reason we're in VIP. LMAO

So what I learned from all of this is, the word ok is a little man.

Hearse On, Rave Up

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8 8 8

Thank you for your many blessings SH, BV, SJ, SA and Baron. Bless and keep us.
Current Mood: happy
Current Music: Salem
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