niki's Blurty
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Monday, June 13th, 2005

    Time Event
    dead inside
    Living dead girl

    I have a pulse

    my heart beats on

    inside I am dead

    emotionally necrotic

    completely neurotic

    sick in the head

    Why am I living

    I wish that I was dead

    For all intents and purposes

    I am dead anyway

    I'm not really alive

    not in any way that counts

    vital signs don't

    mean a damn thing

    when inside I am


    Rotting away

    hollowed out

    as if I drank bleach

    and my body forgot to die

    along with my spirit

    and my mind

    A festering mental cancer

    like a mass of tumors

    oh no that's just my brain

    exise it please

    cut it out NOW

    Make the noise stop

    silence all the sounds

    I just want some

    peace of mind

    want some quiet

    need some dead time

    Haunted relentlessly

    my ghosts clank their chains

    endlessly, clamorously

    my demons demand to

    be recognized

    someone please call a priest

    I need an exorcism

    cast out the blackness

    grant me absolution

    help me find some peace

    My flesh may be living

    my soul is long gone

    my heart may be beating

    my blood may be pulsing

    thru my veins

    my hope died

    a long time ago

    no reason for me to

    keep going on

    too many tears

    I have cried

    I just want set free

    dead out and inside
    brain (poem)
    Black rotting festering fetid mind
    decomposing flesh in my head
    metastasizing cancer of the psyche
    die brain die
    and die again
    useless senseless worthless
    I don't want you
    I don't need you
    What have you done for me lately
    other than torture
    and torment
    me to the brink of madness
    You serve no purpose
    but to enslave me in this Hell
    You will never let me go
    I am your prisoner
    sentenced to life and
    even eternity
    you haunt me
    abuse me
    confuse me
    misuse me
    mislead me
    I hate you
    I wish I could
    yank you out of my own head
    and pound you with a hammer
    die brain die die die
    you sadistic monster
    you fuck me over
    fuck me up
    and I have had enough

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