| Thursday, July 15th, 2004 |
| 5:44 pm |
work was soo boring. with the exception of when alyssa and kate and sarah and erika stopped by. =) so yeah i sat there. and let me make note of this THERE IS A HORNETS NEST INSIDE MY CRACK HOUSE OK. i was scared.
i saw vin walking while i was on my way to work and i waved franticly. HIIIII VINNNNNN i called you. JUST SO YOU KNOW.
lets see. hmmm. i colored alot today. and such
in about.... now... im going to a baseball game at BHS? hhmmmm random. yeah. im meeting jamie and erika and devyn there. so this should be interesting. yesssmm. =) im excitied.
im listening to ghetto music and this is only becuase im am in a ghetto mood. fo sho
tomorrow is stacey rhals birthday. and i will write about her tomorrow just because she is amazing. and i love her. i asked her out on a a date today for tonightttttt. but i was rejected. FUCK YOU TABOR PLAY. I HATE YOU. but stacey is the only reason i will be attending it this summer. hahaha.
yeah today was nice and i did nothing.
tomorrow i dont have work which really thrills me. hopefully it will be nice out
yes. i will be back later.
oh about yesterday. this just goes out to someone in perticualar.
i really miss talking to you and such and i dont hate you. but i would really appreciate it if you would talk to me about me and not call my friends. first of all they arent me. and they shouldnt have to feel obligated to talk for me. and secondly i think it shows you really care about all of this if you say something to me. but we will hopefully work these issues out. alright.
much needed to be said.
yeah guys who play tennis are hot.
and that kid called me at 12:34am this morning and i am really pissed i feel asleep at 12:13am damn me
Current Mood: pleased |
| 11:23 am |
yesterday was fun. work was SO boring not a single person came in so i sat there singing. oh dear god. then i went to the market with brown and sarah. =) i had alot of fun with them and it was nice to see them since i havent seem them in forever. so thennnnn i went to the beach and hung out with erika ray dp and joew on the raft thinga magiga andd that was funnnnnnn and then we sat around and when they all left erika and lyss and i went back to lyss's house and so on. it was fun.
last night i hung out with miss stephaine milardo and we stuck postits on peoples car. stoped by and said hello to some friends. and they seemed to be enjoying themselves. and had a nice conversation with someone who was very mean to steph. I WILL KICK YOUR ASS.
today is off to a shitty start i am now going for a run. since it is much needed. and then i get to go to work. yupp what a fucking great day. heh. i then will sit home on my ass and do nothing. =)
Current Mood: annoyed |
| 11:18 am |
yesterday was fun. work was SO boring not a single person came in so i sat there singing. oh dear god. then i went to the market with brown and sarah. =) i had alot of fun with them and it was nice to see them since i havent seem them in forever. so thennnnn i went to the beach and hung out with erika ray dp and joew on the raft thinga magiga andd that was funnnnnnn and then we sat around and when they all left erika and lyss and i went back to lyss's house and so on. it was fun.
last night i hung out with miss stephaine milardo and we stuck postits on peoples car. stoped by and said hello to some friends. and they seemed to be enjoying themselves. and had a nice conversation with someone who was very mean to steph. I WILL KICK YOUR ASS.
today is off to a shitty start i am now going for a run. since it is much needed. and then i get to go to work. yupp what a fucking great day. heh. i then will sit home on my ass and do nothing. =)
Current Mood: annoyed |
| Tuesday, July 13th, 2004 |
| 9:06 pm |
so i went to the mall. i was right. it was the most depressing thing ever. everything was fine until my mom had to come along and comment on anything.
"nicole dont they have a bigger size than THAT god you could never wear that."
"nicole those pants are way to small for you what were you thinkning"
"im not buying something like that for you ever. you like terrible"
and it was worse i have witnesses.
she made me feel like complete shit. which TOTAL proves my point for EVERYTHING. and on top of that she agrees with me. which really makes me sad. i was almost in tears in the dressing room. and on the way home we got in a huge fight about how i am "irresponsible" "a bitch" "the worst child" and so fourth. she expects me to be her bitch and im not. i cant take it. the only thing she bought me tonight was a sweater from weathervane which was 17 dollars and on top of that i paid half. not to mention that she bought my sister and brother a whole bunch of shit that apparently "they deserve" and i dont as we pulled into my driveway she took my sweater and told me that in order for me to have it i had to pay in full for it. ok no biggie. so inside we are still fighting. im crying hysterically and shes still screaming at me and so on. so i just scream to her sorry im too fucking fat to wear any of my clothes return them all. and she goes its not the fact that your fat nicole. its just your a bitch.
END OF FUCKING STORY.
HAVE I PROVEN MY POINT YET?
god fucking damnit. i hate this so much.
Current Mood: depressed |
| 2:28 pm |
truely. i am pissed off.
yesterday was good. i had alot of fun.
superman...all over the place as in upside down and god knows what....i feel down stairs.
bungie jumping.absoultely AMAZING. hahaha. subway gave me a drink. and further more yesterday made me happy. which i havent honestly been in a long time.
today. nothing happened. i cleaned which is always a plus. got yelled at. and ive come to notice that in my house no one can say my name without screaming it. eh. ok ill sit in my room for the rest of my life. thats cool too.
im supposed to be going to the mall tonight with my mom and such. (the kids gurrr) and i dont know what ill do. im gonna loose it soon.
i really hate when people use you. not just guys. everyone. it really makes me mad. and i hate when people just walk into your life as if they cared and just do it to get the low down. GUR
tomorrowwwwww i have work from 9-1pm which should be eventful...aaahahahhahaha never is work eventful. but its some what tolerateable. if thats a word. im using it. ok anywho.. then afterward i could quite possibly be going to hang out with sarah =) i miss her alot so it would be a good thing. and such. yayyy. alright.
staceys birthday in 3 days. your gift is coming in a garbage can. NO LIE.
im in a really bad mood. i dont really wanna decribe it just because it involves way to much. but lets just say i hate the world rather than anything more at this moment. and i dont even think that sums it up. its more so i just cant stand this life at the moment. gur. and yeah.
field hockey starts soon. woo to the fucking hoo. im considering not playing. i hate people
when school starts i will not have a life. not that i have much of one as it is. but my parents have warned me ahead of time. which i must say is the nicest thing they have done in a while
hm i WISH i could drive.
fuck parents.
ummmmmmm lets seeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee i know the trip to the mall today might be somewhat depressing. but im going to get out of my house. and such. i hope you all have a great day.
hsdhdhdhdiewhdhhdfhhhaghateehdhdhdhhdhhdyoudekuerifgiugefwfuwgfugwfuwuefuwrgfr
Current Mood: angry |
| Sunday, July 11th, 2004 |
| 9:36 pm |
Lets see. Today I went to work. Woo to the freakin hoo. Well actually it wasn’t to bad this is ONLY because rob was there to keep me company. So to you rob thank you =) hahaha. Some people ive figured out are true dushbags(is that how you spell it). Rob and I realized this today but that’s ok.
I took my braids out. Yeah…hair E V E R Y W H E R E…gross
My hair is REALLY big now hahahaha.. I feel like scary spice.
Ok so lets see. Stacey and I talked on the phone.. I played a game called dodge phone calls…. Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
I was supposed to go to the movies with mark tonight. That didn’t work out. Sorry about that mark. Another time. Then I was supposed to go to his houseeeeeeeee. But no.. that didn’t work ethier. SORRYYYYY =(
I’m still awaiting a phone call. So I can find out what is going on for tomorrow. =) and such. But yeah that’s ok.
Tomorrow. I don’t know what is going on. Either work. Or such.
I watched a French love movie today. It was in all French and I am amazing at figuring out what happened.. well sort of.
Now I’m watching another love movie and its REALLY sad. And its making me sad. This girl is upsetttttttt because of stuff and he loves herrrrr and now hes sad and shes sad and AWWWW =( ok anyways
So yeah my gramma as I know of is ok. Which is good. my oh my
I’m really bored….
So anyways im gonna express my mind right now so if you don’t understand that’s ok:
So I am very confused and irritated with everything I cant quite understand what I am trying to accomplish at this moment. Nothing seems to be falling in place and nothing seems to quite be right. Everything is scattered around. Ive noticed a lot of change in a lot of things. Some for the better so not so much. I realize what I have and what I want and I can see the difference between all of it. I never wanted things to be like this. I don’t really know what to do. But so far I didn’t think anyone would notice until last night…at my grammas I realized something else which wasn’t so…if you will worth noticing. Or more so that I wanted to notice. It was something I would have rather not heard. I need to change myself in order to satisfy others(my parents and other people) I need to work on that. And I need to get my priorities straight. Which seems quite impossible to do at the moment. But ill stride to do the best I can. I have a lot to do before the summer is over. And this year is junior year. Ill see if I can make it through it in on piece. Prolly not. Things at this point don’t look to promising to me. Right now I feel really sick and I want to go to bed. But I know I wont sleep.
Ok so I’m done with this for now….
Current Mood: blank |
| Saturday, July 10th, 2004 |
| 11:18 pm |
yeah so i went to my grammas house. shes doing...... interesting. i hope she will be ok this came upon me like woah. and now my dad is being all assholeish and its understandable... it is his mom.. but still. my mom is upset and such. but you know what ill take the blame for whatever they need me to.
im watching bug juice... good show.
things are interesting in life.
i'm not to sure what i want right now. i keep thinking of some stuff and things and people and yeah.
i guess im not in the mood to deal with what comes in the package
im on summer vacation and still getting beatin over the head for my grades and my stupitiy.... guess somethings dont change
friends. are. cool.
lalalalallalaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Current Mood: crappy |
| 3:46 pm |
so last night i was with steph and cassidy. causing trouble as usual.
today i had work and such it was ok... i went to the beach with kate and it was fun. stalking some guys. and yeah.
im in a really shitty mood now though. as i was walking home i find out my gramma has cancer. im close to her so i dont even know what to say. i guess i didnt expect this to happen. and its kinda weird. cause. she doesnt deserve this. and i think about today and what i was doing. and thinking about. and then this. life sometimes doesnt turn out for the better of us. i guess ill take this in cause its not a dream and i know that i wish i could just stop everything sometimes. i dont even know what my feelings for this are. they arent anything but shock. and just the fact that i would rather.. i dont know. i dont even know. thats all for now. i dont really know what to say about it.
Current Mood: shocked |
| Friday, July 9th, 2004 |
| 6:46 pm |
well then..
well today is july 9th oh indeed it is. i am nicole. and i have this journal. and i hate these things but... it keeps me entertained for the moment. i went on vacation. it was much needed. i had alot of fun though. i missed my family alot though. hey it happens. i hopefully will be getting my permate soon since my parents decided they need me for something. i really like this song i dont know who sings it. but yeah. ive come to realize i miss some people. and others not so much. but ive also decided that ill make do with what happens. so this summer should be fun. kate sarah and i will be working at the owenego. in our crack house box thing. thanks to rob that name comes in play. and hm lets see things have been confusing and fustrating but ive slowly paced myself so i can take it. sort of. i hate typing hahaha. yeah i went on vacation and missed stacey. HI STACEY. yeah i had to give a little hoot hoot out to her. hahaha.
i have my period right now.
ok so lets see i worked today and sarah, vin and erika visited me. and char came a bit later i sat there rob came by a couple times. then at 3ish alex came to pick up rob and i chatted it up. and it was interesting. yupp. and i know a secretttt =) sort of. well its not a secret. damn. well anywho. it was an over all a good day
tonight i hope to do something.. i have options sort of. not really. but anywho i will maybe write soon
Current Mood: awake
Current Music: sliverchair |