Wednesday, April 30th, 2003
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1:35 pm - the shell in which I hide.
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I can't fight this feeling deep inside..
It's old and stronger than I meant for it to ever become..
When did I lose control..
Is this the way things go
I could blame at least two people in my life for my crippled emotions..
but is that really fair?
I mean I was weak to ever let them get to me.
Maybe I was born emotionally crippled..and that's how I quickly acquired so much damage?
I have so many questions I doubt will ever be answered..
A million letters I will never send..
Thoughts and emotions that will never have a voice.
I haven't the courage..I fear the pain it would cause to others.
In my mind it's not I suffer you suffer..
It's I suffer..and I suffer some more..and I walk on egg shells for you.
I wonder if you realize that? Do you?
Everyone walks on eggshells for you always have.
Does it make you smile inside...the attention..
I'm sure it's never unnoticed by you..
You seem to crave it..strive for it..
Maybe some day I'll be as callous..and cold hearted......
Someday I'll break free of this shell
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1:27 pm
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it's the emptiness she fears
the cold that gets into your heart and won't let go
the shallowness of it all
her dreams acheived but where does she stand now
nothing left to accomplish no here to please
a pocket full of money
yet no one at her side
nothing seems real anymore
nothing but the tears
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12:48 pm
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12:21 pm
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I bought a pound of dubble bubble chewing gum and I can't stop chewing..chew until the flavor is gone and chew some more..ooo I'm in love..I think i'll chew all day.
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(7 comments | comment on this)
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11:49 am
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11:11 am - Everyone else is doing it.
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10:43 am
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Ok this girl wanted this icon of the orignal smurfette..I've never heard of her before..but she was real..a black haired smurfette...NO PICS of her anywhere though except for one head shot..terribly annoying..
and you know what I hate is when you do an icon for someone and then their like OH that's ok but I really wanted this? BAH FUCKING SHIT..you think I'm a mind reader..if you don't like it find someone else to do it for you..I'm getting really sick of this...
I'm suffering from Menstral Hate....I'm mad at like everything..down to the dirt outside..I have mad cramps and want to die.
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(2 comments | comment on this)
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Tuesday, April 29th, 2003
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10:33 pm
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Ya I'm a dork changed it twice in one day..but this one I love..I'm crossed eyed because of it..
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(3 comments | comment on this)
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9:48 pm - Colorific
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I found this really awesome picture of a dark angel like lady...so I decided I needed to color it and use it has a lay out cause it matches my new icon..which I really love..Ok yeah I'm a dork..like five hours ago I said I wasn't going to change my lay out again but then I found this freeken amazing picture..and just had to do it..so I've been careful coloring the black and white drawn picture...and my eyes hurt..
I'm listening to Nirvana..something I haven't done in years...when they first came out my friends and I wanted to be groupies..we were so in love..we were weirdos..It's bringing back a lot of strange memories..weird..LOL
Craig finally went to the dr. about his back..they gave him tylenol 3 and flexril and scheduled him to see a chiropractor..the pills make him goofy...he was putting mustard onto his corndog and broke out laughing..so I laughed to which caused him to laugh harder..it was hilarious and fun..
watched Two Week Notice..it was cute..
Ok back to coloring..just need a break
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2:57 pm - More Quizes..so fucking shoot me.
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"I don't want to live -- I want to love first
and live incidentally." - Zelda Fitzgerald
This quote from the wife of the American author
F. Scott Fitzgerald defines your romantic view
of life. You have an optimistic outlook, and
many people envy this. Your gentle spirit and
giving nature make you a wonderful catch for
that lucky guy. (This also happens to be a
personal favorite of mine :)).
What quote describes you? (for girls, sorry guys ;))
brought to you by Quizilla
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1:07 pm - Reverand Craig and stuff
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Craig just emailed me he's an ordained minister now legal and all..what good it will do him since he's not religious at all I don't know..I think he was just bored..
hmm Oh well.
weirdo
I love him so much:)
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(4 comments | comment on this)
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1:06 pm
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11:55 am
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I re did my lay out..yes AGAIN..but I really like this one and I think I'll keep it..very simple..very clean..very me..
No flashy shit..what was I thinking the last time.?
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(8 comments | comment on this)
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10:35 am - Get your finger out of my nose
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I Don't Know What Happened!
I am radiating with inner beauty and blossoming
with joy.
Have I always been like this?
I
dont know, but I hope everyone in the world can
share this wonderful feeling!
Now if only
people would stop sticking their fingers in my
nose :)
Which Exploding Dog Cartoon Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla
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(7 comments | comment on this)
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10:22 am
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I think I want to change my lay out to something dark and forboding(sp)....this red is way too happy for my mood..but I can't think of anything dark and forboding..that won't scare me when I'm home alone updating my journal..
I'm a weiner.
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(5 comments | comment on this)
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10:18 am
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Parkinson's Disease. You twitch, tremor, and freeze
up quickly. It takes you forever to get ready,
you have trouble keeping hot coffee from
spilling on you, and people stare at you
frequently.
What Kind of Disease Would I Be?
brought to you by Quizilla
I don't have this...but I do stare..always have..can't help myself..it's like I tell my eyes stop stop staring at that and nothing I can even move my head and my eyes are still totally focused..I so hate it when that happens.
Samara Morgan from The Ring. Damn .. your evil
little ass is wicked. Go and scare some more
people to death.
What Villainous Character Am I?
brought to you by Quizilla
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9:21 am
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Marilyn Monroe wore a size 14
I'm so sick of seeing that as a fact..because they fail to mention that the size chart has changed since then...
A size 14 then is todays size 6...Marilyn more likely wore a size 3-8 throughout her life.
Ok so you're fat..you don't need to make yourself feel better by saying oh so and so was fat too..
OK i'm fat..I don't like it but I am..but I'm not going to make myself feel better by comparing myself wrongly to some dead celebrity..who by the way was on diet pills!!!
HELLO..
where is the reasoning in that...
I think I'm PMSING
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(6 comments | comment on this)
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9:14 am - bah I can't write lately..it's getting annoying.
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Once up on a time their lived a girl..who dreamed of a normal life and nothing more.
She had a mother whom she did adore
and asked for only her love and nothing more
So undeserving of the little girl was the mother..
for she gave none of the attention to the sister it all went to the brother.
Good grades, good humor, great skin
beautiful blue eyes you could see your self in
A beautiful little girl without a friend
born with a broken heart that would never mend
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8:37 am - Good Morning to me Good Morning to me
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OUCH...I slept funny and now my chest bone hurts so bad. why oweee.....
I watch some movies last night...
1.)The Weight of Water The idea of figuring out a 100 year old (true story) Murder..good...the way they went about it BAD...and putting Elizabeth Hurley in any movie SUPER BAD...They had another story line going within the movie but dropped it in the middle and never another word..WEIRD...OH well.
2.)Perfume OK ummm...well lots of good actors in this..but it took to long to get to the storyline and then it didn't follow it well..It's about a group of fashion people during fashion week...And bad and funny stuff that happens..but I had to stop watching it cause it couldn't get to it's point..I have no patience.
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Monday, April 28th, 2003
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2:16 pm
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No mail..hmm is it like a holiday or something..this is so weird.
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