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Malinda Maloney

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Gladiator [18 Nov 2005|10:51pm]
[ mood | disappointed ]
[ music | The Stampede-Various Artists-The Lion King ]

I got the movie Gladiator for my birthday, and I've been watching it and the related special features on the two other discs. That movie is just - it's great. I can't pinpoint in which particular aspect it's great, but... I guess, right now, it's my equivelant of Mr. Henry's To Kill a Mockingbird. Let me just let anyone who could possibly be reading this in on the genious that the three writers used during the film. We mortals are but shadows and dust. Shadows and dust Maximus! Ultimately, we're all dead men. Sadly, we cannot choose how but, what we can decide is how we meet that end, in order that we are remembered, as men. It vexes me. I'm terribly vexed. Three weeks from now, I will be harvesting my crops. Imagine where you will be, and it will be so. Hold the line! Stay with me! If you find yourself alone, riding in the green fields with the sun on your face, do not be troubled. For you are in Elysium, and you're already dead! Brothers, what we do in life... echoes in eternity. ....Brothers, what we do in life... echoes in eternity.... People should know when they are conquered. Would you, Quintus? Would I? Just... oh man, genious.

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The Banquet [26 Oct 2005|09:23pm]
[ mood | disappointed ]
[ music | Give It Up-Midtown-Spider-Man 2 ]

The older I get, it seems the more disappointed I get with people around me. I'm not referring to my friends for once; for the most part. Mostly I'm referring to the junior class. You're always told growing up that your role models might be a lot different than what you think; or at least I was. It scares me so much to know that a lot of the particular kids I'm referring to are what the future is looking up to. Yet, I know that's the same thing I was lauding when I was that age. A kid yelled at me in math the other day, and the whole class act surprised, when I refused to let him cheat. No, I wasn't joining the teachers band wagon of 'If you do you're own work, you learn it.' Simply, it took me forty minutes to finish the classwork. This particular kid doesn't know my name and takes no secrecy in asking others what it is. I'm almost positive he has decided I'm am a naïve, little sophmore who has no life experiencing at all. Well, bud, there's a reason why I'm in the junior math class. There's a reason why teachers, namely, ask me to do things instead of others, if you haven't noticed. Secondly, I honestly cannot see how in the world my grade has a worse reputation than the junior class. The most common conversations revolve around when, where, and how they were smoking or drinking. Or how someone was going to miss school tomorrow because they'd be out partying. I can't believe how naïve (overuse of word, I know) people are. How do they honestly think they're never going to caught, they're never going to pay for any of what they're doing, they're never going to get hurt. I honestly do think my math class probably believes I have no life experience whatsoever. I'm fairly certain that it'd blow their socks of if they were to find out I have a boyfriend; I'm almost positive no one in there knows me well enough, nor has enough time to get past their conceited attitudes to even let it touch the surface of their mind if they were told. Though, I don't expect them to. I don't have any friends in there, they probably shouldn't care. I have so much drive right now; gymnastics needs to start -now- before I lose it all. I've seen a lot of negativity, and a lot of things I -really- don't agree with lately. Including during band. I've seen a lot of disagreements, namely with Mr. Hench. Now, don't get me wrong, there are a few that I don't agree with Mr. Hench at all on; like, how he wouldn't let a few people, the cases I'm referring to all involve underclassmen, out and such; but there was a lot of crap being complained about that he did not deserve at all. A lot of people, not just guard... actually, probably mostly the band... refuse to see the whole picture and only look at one thing. Like, for example (this one does involve guard... this is about the only one I can think of involving it, but it's the one that came to mind first), the thing with Kenny. People refused to understand that it wasn't Shelby saying whatever she said that made him believe. And I'm talking about friends... ones I've tried explaining my point to... it wasn't Shelby. Shelby did very, very little. It was a mountain of causes. Like, for a metaphor, the way my building caved in. It caved in when we got one inch of snow... it wasn't the one inch that made it collapse... it was the three feet that had snowed on top of it throughout a couple weeks before. I'm just so frustrated now, and I think mainly because it's things I -can't- control. I can say things, refuse to do wrong things; yes... and I'm firmly believing I'm going to try my best. But it won't be resolved. Ever since Adam ate the apple, there is no way it can possibly be resolved. But, right now I really wish gymnastics had started. I may not be a junior or senior yet (commonly referred to as upperclassmen, role models, etc.), but for the most part I'm getting a general feeling that lots of the juniors and seniors are doing a really crappy job. Definitely not all; but a lot are. If I can just inspire one person younger than me to at least try to look at things optimistically, dedicate themselves, and at least try, I'll be much more at peace.

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Random - ness [04 Sep 2005|10:06pm]
[ mood | anxious ]
[ music | Did You-Hoobastank-Spider-Man 2 ]

There is something about music that just seriously connects with my soul. I'm not the type of person that listens to the words of songs, and then likes the song because of them. It's the tune, the basic pattern of notes and sounds that gets to me. It's just crazy that some people aren't like this. I guess it's just been so ingrained in me, even since I'm been a little kid. I started taking dance class -long- before I even knew what gymnastics was, and I started gymnastics in second grade. That's probably why I love marching band so much, especially guard. If I marched my flute, or some other instrument, I don't think it'd be the same for me. Being in front of an audience, any size, during a performance, I tend to immerse myself completely into the performance. Like, when I'm on beam during a gymnastics meet, I can hear the simple click of the sports editor taking a picture of me, but I completely tune all cheering/floor music out. But, when it comes to band, if I wasn't in guard, how would I keep that emotion inside? In guard, it's completely alright, in fact, the judge's ask for it, to show exactly what you're feeling... which, during when it counts, I'm feeling what the music is telling me to feel. If I am to stay healthy enough for the rest of my highschool years that I won't miss a marching season, this is my middle year. I have marched two, and I will march two more. Now, in saying that, I've been thinking of how I could possibly let this be over. Solution? Don't. Go someplace else that has the same opportunities. And where better to go than a Division I corp like... oh... say... Phantom Regiment? Not happening until I've graduated. But will it happen? I sure hope so. The two things that really get to me; listening/watching/performing field shows -or- the ocean. Actually, the ocean will always win out, but, that's a completely different story.

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[22 Aug 2005|09:15pm]
[ mood | calm ]
[ music | Warning-Incubus-Morning View ]

I am who/what I am, and I'm sorry if you don't like that. But that doesn't mean I should change who I am, or that you should throw away something you are successful at.


Bat your eyes girl.
Be otherworldly.
Count your blessings.
Seduce a stranger.
What's so wrong with being happy?
Kudos to those who see through sickness...yeah

Over and over and over and over...........

She woke in the morning.
She knew that her life had passed her by
She called out a warning.
Don't ever let life pass you by.

I suggest we
Learn to love ourselves,
Before its made illegal
When will we learn, When will we change
Just in time to see it all come down

Those left standing will make millions
Writing books on ways it should have been

She woke in the morning.
She knew that her life had passed her by
She called out a warning.
Don't ever let life pass you by.

Floating in this cosmic Jacuzzi
We are like frogs oblivious
Soon the water starting to boil,
Now I flinched and we all float face down

She woke in the morning.
She knew that her life had passed her by
She called out a warning.
Don't ever let life pass you by.
Pass you by.


So, I -really- love this song.

And, I'm not in a bad mood. I just needed to say all that to get over it. =D

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Checkin' In [13 Aug 2005|10:36pm]
[ mood | giddy ]
[ music | It Don't Mean A Thing (If It Ain't Got That Swing)-Duke Ellington & Irving Mills-Swing Kids ]

Sometime I'll update. Everything seems like a dream right now. I like it.

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My family reunion day... [23 Jul 2005|11:46pm]
[ mood | amused ]
[ music | C'est La Vie-B*Witched ]

This is an e-mail, but, still.... I think it fits

So, I'm just going to recap the day. Why? Because I want to.

Anyway, this family reunion was the Hess side. Now, my mom's side of the family is relatively small. I think it's to make up for the Hess side. I mean, just to give you an idea, just in my -immediate- family there are 75 people, if everyone were to come. This isn't including the two on the way and the two that are dead (not counting miscarriages). So, I was -terribly- confused.

My Grandpa Wayne (that sounds funny... my mom's dad died like, quite awhile before I was born, so, yeah) was the oldest out of his family. There were like, eighteen years between him and his youngest sister. But somehow, the family stayed pretty close. Like, now all the old ones fight -non stop- (or so I hear), but, they weren't always like that.

My dad actually grew up in my house. They milked cows, and two of my dad's cousins would come up and help him and basically cause a lot of trouble. One of them you might know, Alan Conrad (he's Briana's dad), and the other is John Stratton. You know that Ankeny competition? He lives in Ankeny. His oldest daughter, as far as I can guess, is drum major of the Ankeny band. Like, my parents might go down for the whole weekend and just... well... be weird.

I don't think Alan came up as much, but, my dad and John got in -lots- of trouble. There's a notorious trait of the Hesses to be rather rowdy. (ex. another of my dad's cousins got to Sioux Falls in eighteen minutes one time. My grandma, who happens to be quite a bit of a spitfire herself, first dated one of my grandpa's cousins before him and said she was never, ever, ever marrying a Hess). They'd shoot each other the high-powered hose, have calf riding contests, wrestle, and basically just act like boys.

Anyway, so, we sat at this family reunion the whole time. It's weird... all my 'cousins' are really my second cousins, but, with the whole family in general, with my grandpa being the oldest, most of the rest of the kids that I'm supposed to be with are the same age as me.

So, it was nontheless pretty boring. (though, I did find out Casey Johnson was related to me. I think he went to Brown, but, he was a little trouble-maker/Chane's friend... he moved to Minneapolis and somehow he was there). But, my dad and John like, hadn't seen each other in a long time.

We ended up, spur of the moment ordeal, going to my aunt's house to visit him. (this was the place I went to on the fourth that I got -terribly- burnt at. It's like, over an hour away.) My dad and John were being all tough, and me and Lauren were trying to avoid them. My aunt has this huge tube (it's got a bottom in it and I'm pretty sure two people could fit in it. You might have to sit on someone's lap, but, it's huge), and John decides he wants to sit in it. So, without warning, he just comes and chucks me out.

Naturally, I'm not very happy about this. He thought laying in the tube was dumb, so, he flipped it over and layed on the bottom covering. I went and sat by my dad and told him to go flip John off. So, he does, John gets all mad, threatens to go throw my dad in, and my dad tells him it's all my fault.

John gets out of the lake, comes onto the dock, manages to pick me up like a sack of potatoes, and completely cannonballs into the lake with me on his shoulders. I basically ended up doing a bellyflop. Oh, man, it was bad.

I'm pretty sure I probably threw his back out though. I mean, he's not as old as my dad, but he's not any younger than like, 45. I'm betting he's somewhere between 50-55.

And, I mean, imagine this, when someone's trying to grab me, I squirm like mad.

Then this fish comes up and 'blurps' by Lauren and between that and having whitecaps because it was so windy, we left the lake.

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Joan of Arc [21 Jul 2005|05:53pm]
[ mood | calm ]
[ music | At Long Last, Love-Danny Elfman-Spider-Man 2 ]

Well, I'm almost done with Joan of Arc. Almost. Let me explain the book.

It is over 400 pages long, which, in all honesty isn't too long for me. I can read a book that is a hundred pages long in two days, without reading nonstop of course. So naturally, reading at a leisurely pace would mean it would take me four days to finish. I've been on this book for maybe two weeks now. It's a book I can't put down, honestly, but, I'm not close to finishing. I think for once, I'm reading slower to get the full amount of meaning and detail that is available.

Right now, I'm about two months from her burning. And I really almost can't bring myself to read it. I know why I love this book so much... I honestly don't think it would matter whether this book was written incredibly well or not. Which it is. It's written by Mark Twain, though, when he published it, he published it under a different name. He wrote it as if her real-life secretary, Sieur Louis de Conte, had written a memoir to his great-neices and nephews, which had been found and translated.

The book takes you through her life, and gives sort of an inside story, for the viewpoint of one of her very close friends.

Now, whether you're a Catholic or not (the whole Saint thing), or even a Christian... I think it'd be -very- hard to say that nothing extraordinary happened to Joan. It's just... wow... literally. Really inspiring, both in awe and other ways.

I'm so glad I chose her for my Saint for Confirmation. It took me awhile to realize that that was who it was supposed to be, but... wow.

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Response to random questions... [19 Jul 2005|01:49pm]
[ mood | calm ]
[ music | The Return Of The King-Howard Shore, Sir James Galway, Viggo Mortensen & Renée Fleming-The Lord Of The Rings: The Return Of The King ]

1. How do you let yourself get close to people?

It's not neccessarily that I -let- myself get close to people, it's moreso that the people that I am close to I can't help but to be close to. It's something that if I were to try to stop it, I couldn't. I really do believe that a good share of people don't enter a relationship with anyone (relationship being used in a vague sense) with the downright intention of hurting that person. Does it happen? Of course it does. Does the person that hurt you always mean for it to happen? No... a lot of times, they have no idea what would happen until after it did.

Then there's this little thing in all human nature called pride. Everyone has it, some more than others. Don't believe me? Then why is it so hard to admit that you're wrong. Because of pride. That's the simple and outright explination of it.

Now, in the same sense, I appear to be luckier than a lot of people. Then again, maybe it's not luck. It seems to me that whoever I happen to get close to definitately doesn't try to and rarely ever actually does hurt me. Whether it's instinct or something else, it just doesn't happen.

I will say that a lot of people who have hurt friends of mine, I tend to not be too sure about. Like, I don't trust them, and something about them just throws me off. Why do I have this? No idea whatsoever.

A few years ago, I thought about -everything.- Really. I thought long, I thought hard, I threw things around in my mind trying to figure everything out down to the smallest little detail. What did I realize after that? That I'm not -supposed- to know everything. If for some reason I was allowed to, I wouldn't understand it anyway... so, basically, they wasn't even any use in attempting to understand it. Since then, I tend to do things, as in important things/decisions, out of my heart and instinct. I don't think over things, deciding which is logically the smarter answer or anything like that. I simply go with which one feels right. Have I been wrong? Of course. But a lot less than when I thought about stuff.

Random fact of Ms. Hrbek's English class that I actually remember - 5% of the people you meet will never like you. You can be as nice to them as possible, but they still won't like you.

Thus, I don't think you should really worry about what -other- people think of you. The only person you should worry about is what you think of yourself.

A helpful thing to be happy? Smile. Seriously. Whether you're really happy or not, smile. Eventually, if you do it enough, you really will feel like you have a reason to smile. Even better than smiling, laugh. Laugh at things that are completely silly and that you take for granted. Laugh at yourself. Laugh at -everything.- Doesn't it release endorphins or something like that? I probably should look that up, but, yeah. Anyway, not only does smiling/laughing make you happy, it makes other people happy.

Why am I writing this all down on an online journal? Because I'm too lazy right now/my wrist is too tight to bother actually writing it down on paper.

Current book - Joan of Arc by Mark Twain. (Really good. I bought it with the intention of learning about my Saint for Confirmation, and, it's awesome. Really pretty awe-inspiring too.)

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Charlie and the Chocolate Factory [15 Jul 2005|10:25pm]
HA! I'M STILL TOTALLY FREAKING OUT ABOUT THIS! DUDDDDEEEEE!

Okay, so, here's my review.

This was literally one of the funniest movies I've ever seen. If you go to it with a heck of a lot imagination and willing to accept the fact that it is incredibly weird from the beginning, there are scenes that you would crack up laughing in that would just be... well... really odd if you were expecting a normal movie.

Johnny Depp is a god. (Purely for use of an expression). He is amazing. Incredibly, incredibly talented. And, he has the looks to match. I'm serious. I love Heath Ledger, but, even for him being forty, I do think Johnny Depp may just be the best looking person I've seen. Which is weird... because most people seem to only like him as a pirate. Ah, well, what can I say. I'm a sucker for dark hair, dark eyes, and strong cheek/jaw bones.

Anyway, looks aside (obviously, because he's quite scary looking in this and some of his other movies. *cough* Edward Scissorhands), he does great. To pull of the extreme behavior of his character really takes a lot of talent. Holy cow.

Tim Burton is an insane genious. Wow... either he was born with a heck of a lot of imagination, or he's something like... dislexic (or however the heck you spell it), but, wow. That was amazing. So... weird.

Oompa Loompa's = HA!

I'm not a person that really, really enjoys funny movies. I mean, I'll go to them and laugh, but usually there has to be something really, really quirky about it for me to see twice or even consider buying. Now granted, this isn't supposed to just be a funny movie, but, it's got the quirkiness down. I was on the verge of tears, and peeing my pants I was laughing that hard.

Everyone, go see it. Make sure you go with an extremely open mind and accepting the fact that it's going to be really, really, really weird... and you will laugh incredibly. Also, don't expect the original. It's not the original. I, personally, think it's a heck of a lot better than the original. (Then again, I really never liked it. So... yeah). It's the book (*points to the name...* look, it's got the correct name). And it's awesome.

Johnny should have so many best actor Oscars by now. Seriously.
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Randomosity (ha!) [25 Jun 2005|03:08pm]
[ mood | amused ]
[ music | Ordinary - Train (ah! I HAVE MUSIC! HA!) ]


Your Birthdate: November 1

Your birthday suggests that are executive ability and leadership qualities in your makeup.

A birthday on day 1 of any month gives a measure of will power and self-confidence, and very often a rather original approach.

This 1 energy may diminish your ability and desire to handle details, preferring instead to paint with a broad brush.

You may be sensitive, but your feelings stay rather repressed.





I feel so spoiled. I mean, with the new computer and all. It's just amazing... and yet, it's like... a step below all the windows.

Well, I don't think it's dumb yet, so that's a good thing.

My birthday thing was pretty right. Except for the emotional-ish part. Well... usually. I tend to brew on things.

I can have music now! I can watch DVDs! WITHOUT GETTING UP!!!! AH! SO EXCITING!

Word of the day - Requiem... for clarification, we're going to use the dictionary I have on my dashboard (ah! I have a dashboard!) to define it.
Req • ui • em
noun
(especially in the Roman Catholic Church) a Mass for the repose of the souls of the dead.
• a musical composition setting parts of such a Mass, or of a similar character.
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Things [19 Jun 2005|12:00am]
Bad news: I have to sit for the drive to Sioux Falls three flippin' times in the next two days.

Good news: I get to go watch DCI. You have no idea how pumped I am. Seriously. Pumped.

Funny news: While looking for pictures of flags, and realizing you can't find any that aren't patriotic, I search up Madison Scouts Guard... get two pictures of people, and who are they of? Yep... James. Funny how things work, huh?

I -think- I'm getting a black eye. -Think-. Alyssa thought she hit me on Amy's tramp, but I didn't feel anything, but my eye on the side she was on is like, beginning to swell and hurts. Huh.

So... this is how bad this whole band thing is getting. Next week sometime, a bunch of us are actually getting together and tye-dyeing beaters for band camp. Literally. It's crazy. Ha!

Funny things of the night:
1. "We should have played croquet." "What about tennis balls and raquets?"
2. "I swear, I'm never going to be mental ed!"
3. Multiple pictures.
4. Gina's mess up on Padmé Amidala. I'm not even going to try to spell it.
5. Fillipé, Madame Blueberry, Hokey "Motown" Pete (Guito), Pink Floyd, and sadly I can't remember the other's names.
6. "It's like a water bed." "Yeah... except there's no water. Well, someone could pee on it and then it'd work." "Yeah, but who's gonna do that?" "I dunno... I suppose I could try."
7. Ashtray getting her glowstick stuck in the tree.
8. "I'm about this close to showing you the meaning of gay."
9. "OMG, there's something on my foot. Get it off, get it off. It's squishy and warm, get it off."
"Yeah... it's a cat."
"Oh."
10. "Uh... guys? What's going on in there? Gina? There's no biting, is there?"
11. As Raquel said...
Hope: I'm not a lesbian no matter what -anyone- says.
Gina: I'm not a lesbian no matter what -I- say.
There was tons more too, but I can't remember.
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*Yawns* [16 Jun 2005|10:05pm]
[ mood | exhausted ]
[ music | Another One Bites the Dust - Queen ]

I'm... so... tired...

There's so much I could write on here, but I'm too exhausted. Literally. I've been running myself silly all week and I really don't have a chance to catch up until maybe next Thursday... if we don't have guard.

I've taken three naps in the past four days. I never, ever take naps. Do you know how weird that is?

Anyway, I need to go to bed. Yes. At ten o'clock. But I'll never wake up for gymnastics tomorrow otherwise.

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[10 Jun 2005|10:06pm]
[ mood | chipper ]
[ music | Rhapsody in Blue ]

Funny, funny stuff happened tonight. I'm not in the mood to type it now but I'll do it tomorrow sometime.

I CAN'T WAIT FOR BAND CAMP!

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Wow [03 Jun 2005|01:23pm]
Good grief. My mom has officially lost it. She came home from the grocery store, and what did she buy? Cat food.

IT'S NOT EVEN MY FLIPPING CAT!!!

Granted it is nice, really cuddly, oh so very cute, and very hungry, but still...
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We Have Met the Enemy [02 Jun 2005|09:28pm]
Still in that odd cleaning mood I've been in awhile, I daringly decided to adventure into a folder on my computer that I haven't messed with in a long time... just to see what still lingers there. Here's what I found. I wrote it quickly, as is evident by the lack of organization (I've read so much that I have a harder time not writing in paragraphs that figuring out where they belong.), and I don't remember exactly why I wrote it. I didn't have to do it for anything. It has some obvious bits of religious type inspiration, but I don't think, in fact I'm almost positive, that it was not written for that purpose... just that my background influenced it. Most likely the inspiration struck me by some quote I read while listening to a Lord of the Rings soundtrack... what that quote is is either "We have met the enemy, and they are ourselves," or another in there that I changed a bit. Maybe I'll even use it in something larger sometime. It definately has the air of a pre-war morale lifter.

Please, bare with the lack of revising, organization, or choppy sentences.

Power
With the human being comes an attachment of power. No, not the power that is the foal of the opposable thumb... a power much more terrible; dreadful.
I suppose the thumb does have something to do with this power. If we did not have this, we would not be where we were today... but the question is... would this be an entirely bad thing?
I fear that the power of this evil, despite or whatever you wish to call it, (it is still the enemy) was not originally here. I believe this creation of despair is made by the hands of ourselves, in our own folly.
Within each person is the strength to fight evil. But what if that strength is reversed to ally with the despiser? A human hand has the gentleness to caress a thing so fragile as a flower petal... but the heart has the greed enough for power.
It only takes a matter of time for a person with a closed heart to realize what he is capable of. Non-chalantly he will mingle among us, gain our trust, then throw it back at us as if it were in our own folly, leading to our own demise. Truthfully, my friend it is. We had the folly to open our soft, gentle hearts to this man of stone.
By the betrayal of this person, our hearts also loose some of their comfort, their gentleness. Eventually, we will turn on each other, kill each other by the simple means of a foot or hand.
Look at a child. Humans dare to hold their own creations in their arms gently, lovingly. But in one squeeze, one constricting power of deadly horror, we could crush that child, shatter the bones and living structure of the thing we cherish the deepest. Lead to our own demise.
What if this evil is not a being placed here since the beginning of Time? What if it is a creation of our own folly and greed for deadly power? But truthfully, there is another being; who also in their own greed turned to evil. The human mind is easy to corrupt... and power is the first source of corruption. Total power corrupts totally. The human has an unexplainable joy in holding dreadful power under control... but eventually, that power will break lose. We just need that one little nudge to push us over the brink; something as simple as the small lighting of match that results in glories of an ancient, dieing world to be destroyed forever.
And thus, my friends, I believe that our enemy is a part of ourselves, a creation of ourselves.
In truth, we have met the enemy. Through the clearing of the light mist that has covered our eyes for countless ages, the enemy has been revealed to us. And they are ourselves.
We must not fall. We must again prove the valar of our being and soul.
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Kitten [31 May 2005|10:56am]
We've had one of our neighbor cats visiting our house lately. She's real young, I'd guess she's just old enough to have had kittens, but real friendly and real pretty. She's a calico, but she's probably about the prettiest calico I've ever seen. I was sitting on the porch and she just jumped up and laid down on my lap.

Makes me realize how much I miss/want a pet again.
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Graduation weekend. [31 May 2005|10:27am]
Wow. I'm glad all these graduations haven't hit me yet or I'd probably be like, seriously depressed right now. I don't think I'll realize quite how much I'll miss these people until band starts again.

Which brings up a funny statement. Where else can you get the bonding that you have in band? Yeah, maybe you'll get friends in sports (I really don't get this one. Maybe I'm just too antisocial or something.) or plays, but seriously, where else do you find seniors and freshmen hanging out. And I'm not meaning just at school.

This weekend was nuts though. Friday I went to Jenny Stangeland's graduation. It's going to be so different next year without her. During lunch, after I finished eating, I'd always go and sit with her... so that is going to change obviously. But seriously, I've known her since before I was even in elementary school (bowling days!), and I can talk to her about anything. Lots of fun memories... mainly making fun of people in a sick, perverted way... well, not really perverted, but, we tend to take things the wrong way. I'll probably even miss her making fun of me about Bryce. =D

After Jenny's I went out to Val's house (with Amy, even in the process of meeting up with someone, making two u-turns on mainstreet, sitting there for awhile, missing the turn, screaming at Alyssa and Katie out the window, and then proceeding to go around the square again.) for a bonfire. That was great fun. Amy, Ashley and Gina went out and tried to tip a cow... except it resulted in them getting chased by it and Gina flipping out because she had cow manure all over her shoes. Then there's Shane, being the big eagle scout he is, who tries to start the fire up again and results in all the smoke blowing back into his face and him inhaling it. We had some good talks though about how irony/weird coincidences rule our lives.

Saturday: First, Gina and I went out for about two hours searching for a present for Michael. I think we hit up every place in Pipestone that we could possibly find things in. Resulted in some classic presents. We got a woman's small, hot pink shirt, a Charlie Brown coloring book and a whiteboard type thing with a salsa dancer on it. All these have to do with the memory book we made him.

Then, my mom and I went to Raquel's. I think I set the record for the slowest driving on the highway while trying to find her house. But I'm going to miss her too. The poking wars are awesome. Great memories here... Sound of Music, poking wars, "my life fits in a box", Whitney combing her hair with the fork, etc., etc.

Then we went to Hope's. I don't know Hopey all that well, but she's awesome too. As I previously stated, I'm going to miss all these people like mad.

Finally I went over to Gina's to decorate Michael's present. We ended up putting Aaron Prunty's famous band quote on the front, and then on the back writing "Well, hopefully pink is a good substitute for green." Fun times I tell you.

But Sunday was the crazy day. After we got done playing at graduation, Amy and I followed my mom to Paul's graduation. Paul had the second highest rated cake out of all the graduations. Rachel had the first. :D We hung out there for awhile, annoying Paul. Then we attempted to find Ally's house. That trip probably resulted in the second slowest driving on the highway. We did eventually find it though, and had a blast looking at all the pictures and reminiscing with Ally. She's so cute, isn't she Grace?

The next one we went to was Jessica. We get there, and one of the guys standing in the kitchen asks Gene who we were. He thought he should recognize us. Turns out he was the priest my church had before Father Marty. So we sat there and caught up for a bit.

The last one I went to, well, besides Sammy, was Michael's. Unfortunately I had to work or else I would have made it to Laura's and Austin's too but... didn't have enough time. Michael was quite busy. He didn't have any cake to rate either. :D Great food though. I managed to drop a pickle on the floor... which amazingly was the only thing I dropped all weekend. :D

After work Amy picked me up and we went to Sammy's. She had a bonfire after the "mood was right" and "Shane started the fire." That was a great time too. I didn't stay long enough to see Michael being sleep-deprived which resulted in him acting like he was drunk, but there were some great things there. I've decided though that Shane is a pyro. List of random memories: Lexie and I looking at the stars, Janssen and I having an intellectual conversation (Lexie: "What does intellectual mean"), the skull next to Shane's car, Paul trying to blow himself up, getting confused with Duanes, being Smiley again, Ashley and I having another great conversation, being sat one by about three people, etc., etc. Funny thing is, I called my mom to tell her Amy was leaving at 10:30... she tells me to come home soon. I get home at about 11:30, and both my parents are in their room asleep. It was weird.

I don't think any realization of all the seniors actually graduating didn't hit me until Michael told me that the card Gina and I wrote him actually made him cry.

It's so nice to just sit at home though. I'm actually more excited for band camp right now, simply because I have a feeling I'll be incredibly bored this summer. Why? I've been cleaning my room... and I wasn't forced to do it. It's totally my choice. Creepy I tell you, creepy.
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Grace's Challenge [26 May 2005|09:37pm]
Its' been so long since this all began. You'd think by now I would have been willing to take the plunge, give up my need for independence. I already know what the result would be; I'd be floating, lost in a nother galaxy far, far away. I'd be in a living dream; you would be the dish, I'd be the spoon, and it would be completely natural for cows to jump over the moon.

It's funny to think that not that long ago I was complete strangers with you. I remember when you couldn't pronounce my name and I had no idea what your's was. And now, it's as if there is no other name.

You're there for everything, and most often you have no idea. Memories rocket in front of my eyes; times when I didn't even know what I needed, but somehow you did. I know what it is to lose someone; I don't think the look on your face when you saw me cry will ever fade from my mind. Little did you know that I had cried all my tears away that day, but form some reason, when I saw you, it was as if a reservoir had just emptied into my eyes. And yet, you were the one that kept me sane; you were the one that made me smile again, you were the one that kept me from breaking.

Here I am, knowing how incredibly blessed I am to have you. I can't believe how many times I've asked you to wait just a bit longer, and how your answer of "okay" was never said with resent.

Night is the time I think, and usually I think too hard. Thoughts come into my head; what they are depends on my mood. In one of my very rare dark moods, it's sometimes hard not to question what I would do if I lost another friend. Everytime this crosses my mind, I always feel terrible about thinking that losing you would be the most painful. But what do you expect? I fyou think about it, even from the beginning, we've never just been "friends". I pray, though, to never have to have another picture like the one of four friends, standing interlinked, one who is now gone forever, sitting where the pain of happy memories is always remembered.

But, I guess I rambled too much again. The real point of my letter is, of course, to ask you a simple question. You once promised the ocean to me, and when I asked what was keeping it, you told me that it was thirsty and needed to stop for a drink. Well, is it still thirsty? I have had a terrible aching in my heard for awhile now, and would appreciate knowing how much longer I need to wait. =)
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DCI [25 May 2005|08:08pm]
So, just now, as I came across the familiar feeling of being incredibly bored, I had the idea to go to the DCI website. From that website, you can get links to different corps and such, and while browsing the Phantom Regiment's site, I come across video from the 1974 season. One of the songs they played was Flight of the Bumblebee. If you are not familiar with this song by name, it is crazy fast. Everyone, unless they live in a box, has heard it. Seeing this, I imagine how insane it would be to march that. Unfortunately though, they don't have a media file of this song, just of Ode to Joy.

Good place to go to to get good songs. How many times can I say the word 'to' in a sentence?
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Ramblings [24 May 2005|07:36pm]
Well... I can't say I really ever write in a journal. Whether I update this a lot or not is yet to be seen, but I bet this entry (and maybe a few after) will have a crapload of my meaningless ramblings. I'm not being negative - don't worry - just usually I ramble and it really doesn't have any particular point.

It's so weird, now that golf is over. Almost like after gymnastics. I no longer have anything to do at night. Don't get me wrong; I'm rather excited about it. I wasn't golfing too hot at the end of the season and thus, when I'm used to golfing fairly well for my age, I was frustrated real easy.

I'm so ready for school to be over. Why? That means it's just that much closer to colorguard.

I think I have an obsession. Everyone probably already knew it anyway but... I think I have an obsession with band. Granted, it's much, MUCH more strong for marching band but still. I'm serious. I'm literally counting down the weeks until band camp.

The show is going to be so much fun. Now granted, it's going to be terribly painful. I try not to think about that yet until I have to. In fact, just going to band is terribly painful most days (for example: Memorial Day, the highschool band has to play at the cemetary. Stacy and I sit right next to each other. We both will probably be bawling our eyes out.). There's always something I'm reminded of... especially with guard. How could I not be? But the thought of competing without her there or not having poking wars during band camp, etc., etc. is just usually forcefully driven out of my mind. It hurts to bad. I'm so thankful that the first parade we marched in Florida was so loud/twisty/crazy that we had to focus with any brain power we had not to hit the spectators and to hear the music (at one point in time we were probably forty feet around a corner and the band was halted. Not cool.) Otherwise I'm sure no one would have gotten through it. Gina, Stacy and I are all using one of Mandi's flag poles. I believe it's the only ones that are hers still back there.

There are a lot of people out for guard this year. Twenty-two with two alternates. I know I should be extremely happy about it, but somehow I have mixed feelings. For one thing, I'm not used to a large guard. The first year I was in it (Cossack), we had 11.5 (Danielle spun half the show.). The next year we had nine. So it's going to be a bit of a shock to me. Somehow I don't think we'll be quite as close as we have been. Secondly, with the small guard last year, we got really close. Granted, Gina, Katy and I all went out together because we were friends. We had all been out for it with Stacy (even though she was hurt) and Mandi and partly with Danielle before. I've known Danielle forever. So naturally, the other four (Alyssa, Katie, Courtney, and Whitney) just joined in real quickly. But after Mandi died, some bond just formed. I don't know if I'm the only one that feels it; I very easily could be... but... there is. I don't want the new kids to feel left out, but it might be hard. The returning members just share a feeling that there is no possible way the new members can feel. Yes, Sarah and Jennifer were also Mandi's friends, but, hey The Piano was awesome. There are also some personalities I'm afraid might clash. Who knows, maybe I'll be presently surprised. There are some girls I know I'll have fun with, but, there are some I'm kind of questionable with (this is coming from experience too. Wonderful, wonderful band camp incidents.)

I LOVE LION KING! IT'S SWEET! James Bond is going to rock too (if we can get it worked out.). For once, the guard might actually move during the parade. But, Lion King is my all time favorite Disney movie. I remember sitting in the hallway with Mr. Hench playing Lion King. We all thought it was because we were "going" to go to the Broadway version at the Orpheum. So I was joking when I said, "Hey, wouldn't it be sweet if we played this for our show next year?"

A week later, and the pattern of coincidence ruled my life again. I about fainted I was so excited.

Then there's the band trips. If I wouldn't be so private I probably wouldn't look forward to those as much... but hey, maybe it's a good thing that I'm not the world's biggest extrovert. I don't get complained about, well, other than jokes, that way.

Anyway, I could type more probably for hours. But stating my thoughts on Star Wars... again... doesn't seem as much fun as sitting down and watching a Twins game.

Au revoir.
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