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C'est La Vie-B*Witched |
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This is an e-mail, but, still.... I think it fits
So, I'm just going to recap the day. Why? Because I want to.
Anyway, this family reunion was the Hess side. Now, my mom's side of the family is relatively small. I think it's to make up for the Hess side. I mean, just to give you an idea, just in my -immediate- family there are 75 people, if everyone were to come. This isn't including the two on the way and the two that are dead (not counting miscarriages). So, I was -terribly- confused.
My Grandpa Wayne (that sounds funny... my mom's dad died like, quite awhile before I was born, so, yeah) was the oldest out of his family. There were like, eighteen years between him and his youngest sister. But somehow, the family stayed pretty close. Like, now all the old ones fight -non stop- (or so I hear), but, they weren't always like that.
My dad actually grew up in my house. They milked cows, and two of my dad's cousins would come up and help him and basically cause a lot of trouble. One of them you might know, Alan Conrad (he's Briana's dad), and the other is John Stratton. You know that Ankeny competition? He lives in Ankeny. His oldest daughter, as far as I can guess, is drum major of the Ankeny band. Like, my parents might go down for the whole weekend and just... well... be weird.
I don't think Alan came up as much, but, my dad and John got in -lots- of trouble. There's a notorious trait of the Hesses to be rather rowdy. (ex. another of my dad's cousins got to Sioux Falls in eighteen minutes one time. My grandma, who happens to be quite a bit of a spitfire herself, first dated one of my grandpa's cousins before him and said she was never, ever, ever marrying a Hess). They'd shoot each other the high-powered hose, have calf riding contests, wrestle, and basically just act like boys.
Anyway, so, we sat at this family reunion the whole time. It's weird... all my 'cousins' are really my second cousins, but, with the whole family in general, with my grandpa being the oldest, most of the rest of the kids that I'm supposed to be with are the same age as me.
So, it was nontheless pretty boring. (though, I did find out Casey Johnson was related to me. I think he went to Brown, but, he was a little trouble-maker/Chane's friend... he moved to Minneapolis and somehow he was there). But, my dad and John like, hadn't seen each other in a long time.
We ended up, spur of the moment ordeal, going to my aunt's house to visit him. (this was the place I went to on the fourth that I got -terribly- burnt at. It's like, over an hour away.) My dad and John were being all tough, and me and Lauren were trying to avoid them. My aunt has this huge tube (it's got a bottom in it and I'm pretty sure two people could fit in it. You might have to sit on someone's lap, but, it's huge), and John decides he wants to sit in it. So, without warning, he just comes and chucks me out.
Naturally, I'm not very happy about this. He thought laying in the tube was dumb, so, he flipped it over and layed on the bottom covering. I went and sat by my dad and told him to go flip John off. So, he does, John gets all mad, threatens to go throw my dad in, and my dad tells him it's all my fault.
John gets out of the lake, comes onto the dock, manages to pick me up like a sack of potatoes, and completely cannonballs into the lake with me on his shoulders. I basically ended up doing a bellyflop. Oh, man, it was bad.
I'm pretty sure I probably threw his back out though. I mean, he's not as old as my dad, but he's not any younger than like, 45. I'm betting he's somewhere between 50-55.
And, I mean, imagine this, when someone's trying to grab me, I squirm like mad.
Then this fish comes up and 'blurps' by Lauren and between that and having whitecaps because it was so windy, we left the lake.
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