Friday, June 27th, 2003

Subject:	Hmmm, I don't feel any older.
Time:	11:47 am.
Mood:	surprised.
Music:	Ben - Crispin Glover.

For some unknown reason, out of nowhere, I now have a really strong crush on Crispin Glover hah. Someone needs to take me to see Charlie's Angels.
( EEP! )
Bleh, birthdays usually make me sad. For some reason, I'm always single on them, always on my stupid period, and I usually never see my dad. But today's been okay so far :) My mom left for work and came back 20 mins. later with breakfast from McDonald's and roses for me <3 That's so sweet. Very nice way to start off the day. Aghh...I sang this song and started crying hahaha...It's so sweet though. Now I need to watch Willard. I'm all emotional today..such a loser.

2 can feel it

Wednesday, June 25th, 2003

Subject:	Good shopping day.
Time:	9:55 pm.
Mood:	satisfied.
Music:	Love to Hate, Hate to Me - Static Lullaby.

Today was a cheer-Rach-up day. I've been all *blah* lately..but my mom took me shopping. She got a new microwave, and we picked out a sewing machine (for my birthday present). I have so many design ideas, I can't wait to get started. Then..I got those Count sandals I wanted, and bought purple pinstripe undies on clearance. The worker guy gave me a free button..it was tiny, and it was a little skull...here's the convo:
Me: *GASP* This is Pirates of the Carribean!
Guy: Yeah, we're supposed to hand them out..publicity I guess.
Me: I can't wait to see it, I'm going to the premiere.
Guy: Big Orlando Bloom fan, eh?
Me: *nervous laugh* Well, yeah, pretty much.
Guy: Yeah, everyone is...

He kind of sounded a little sad haha awww. Anyway...then we ate at O'Charley's...my Mountain Dew looked like Re-Agent.

( Pajamas, fake flowers, undies, fansigns... )

something draws near

1 can feel it

Monday, June 23rd, 2003

Subject:	Gah, this bites..
Time:	11:01 am.
Mood:	frustrated.
Music:	Responsibility - Absence of Faith.

Well, my plans with Matt for GNO seem to have kinda fallen through. The concert is on the 2nd and 3rd...I planned on maybe flying in the 1st or the morning of the 2nd. He just told me he was riding in with a guy on the morning of the 2nd, and going straight to the venue. That's fine with me, but I can't get a hotel myself, so where would I change/keep my luggage? I'm not wearing my outfit on the plane hah. He's keeping his bag at the venue..but I don't want to do that, because I don't trust people. Then some guys are driving him (and I guess me..) to the hotel after the show. So there's one night together...but there's the after party, so we won't have much time to ourselves and he'll probably get drunk. Then he's leaving right after the concert on day 2 with a band.

So basically, in my mind, I thought maybe we'd be able to spend 2 or 3 nights together, but it ends up only being one. And that one I won't even have his full attention. I don't know..I really want to see him, and I want to see the show, but I don't know if it's worth several hundred dollars for plane tickets and taxi fare that I could be saving up for a car. I just wish this was all planned out better.

If anyone who reads this is going to GNO this summer...would it be possible for me to keep my stuff at your room Saturday morning, just until after the show? This situation is pretty fucked up.

something draws near

Sunday, June 22nd, 2003

Subject:	Bernie killed that 3 Stooges skit...
Time:	3:30 am.
Mood:	grumpy.
Music:	WP - Skrewdriver.

I want these!! (Josh, don't look) Went to a show tonight with Cyndi and Andrew. All the bands were really good...it was my first time seeing Hymn to Aton *finally*..and I must say, I love Laura's voice hehe.

Erg....Saturday Night Live pissed me off so bad tonight. Bernie Mac hosted it and Good Charlotte played. First of all, the singer wore those goddamn skeleton gloves again. *strangles him* GRR! Second, every skit Bernie was in, they were all based on white/black issues. It was so annoying. Everything made white people look bad. I'm sorry, but I loathe "black humor". It's old, lame, overdone, and just...predictable. Very boring and not funny, in my opinion.

something draws near

2 can feel it

Friday, June 20th, 2003

Subject:	Long, fun survey...screw lj-cuts hah
Time:	1:11 pm.
Mood:	sleepy.
Music:	Oh, Goddamnit - Hot Hot Heat.

Harbinger is breaking up. I am so sad :\ I'll probably get all teary-eyed at the last show *sigh*

who was the last person...?
{x} You touched? I hugged my Dad.
{x} You talked to? Jerry
{x} you hugged? Hah, well, my Dad.
{x} you instant messaged? Ummmmm Ashlee, but she was away
{x} You laughed with? Ashlee's message on my voicemail hahah "*click* GOD that was confusing! Answer the phoooone!"
{x} You cried about? For some reason I cried for like an hour the other night...I think I made myself sad with my dumb mental slash stories hah. I made Legolas die :\
{x} You cried with? Hmm...Beth :( Everytime she cries, I usually cry too. I either hide it or wait till after I leave :\
{x} You kissed? Ummmmmmm...I have absolutely no idea. It's been too long.
{x} You danced with? Heather and Katie :D
{x} You punched? Nobody.
{x} You bought something for? I don't remember..haven't been shopping in a long time hehe.
x} You had sex with? Um, no one. lol

Have you/are you/do you...
{x} Have tattoos? Maybe soon :)
{x} Piercings? nah
{x} Own a webcam? Yeah, but my mom gave away the software *glare* So it's useless.
{x} Ever get off the damn computer? Occasionally :D
{x} Sprechen sie deutsche? Gerade.
{x} Habla espanol? Hell no. Je parle francais et englais. *grin*
{x} Ever broke the law? *ahem* It's broken, and probably.
{x} Hot? I...uhh...no?
{x} kissed a boy/girl? Both.

Currents...
{x} Current Clothes: Kenny tanktop, velour suit.
{x} Current Mood: tired, waiting for Max to get online
{x} Current Hair: Shitty as all hell. About to be curled.
{x} Current Annoyance: My upper back hurts and my eyes are stinging from being sleepy.
{x} Current thing you ought to be doing? Taking a bath..or doing pilates.
{x} Current Desktop Picture: Elrond *droooooooooool*
{x} Current Favorite Group: Skrewdriver
{x} Current movie In DVD: *looks* Disc 2 of the Lord of the Rings extended dvd
{x} Current Refreshment: Water
{x} Current Worry: Sleep or wait for Max? lol
{x} Current Crush: Matt, duh.
{x} Current Music: Skrewdriver
{x} Current fear: Moths

Do you prefer...?
{x} Long or short hair? SHAGGY! Or long.
{x} Dark or blond hair? It depends on the person. Blonde hair is hot as hell...but I like dark shaggy hair.
{x} Tall or short? Very tall lol
{x} Sensitive or Funny? Funny. Sensitive guys kind of piss me off haha.
{x} Good or bad? Both :)
{x} Dark or light eyes? Either very light..like sea green or baby blue...or verrrry dark.
{x} Pierced or no? I don't like too many piercings. I guess it depends where they're pierced hah.

( I took pity on you guys and cut the rest hah )

something draws near

Wednesday, June 18th, 2003

Subject:	My dad is awesome!
Time:	9:04 am.
Mood:	groggy.
Music:	Bandages - Hot Hot Heat.

Sorry I haven't updated recently. I mainly just write in my livejournal and I forget about my other journals. So yeah, if you wanna catch up with me (yeah, right), then just check out my LJ. I'll try to get into the habit of updating this one more often.

Earlier in Meijer, while looking at wolf paintings/posters for my dad's future tattoo, he said the coolest thing:
Me: You should wait until my 18th birthday to get yours done, so we can get tattooed together.
Daddy: Who says you have to wait till then? You could just go with me.
Me: What about mom?
Daddy: All you need is one parent's consent.

He rocks...so hard. I hope he's serious hah. I want some stitches, and I'm impatient. Mmm.

something draws near

Friday, June 6th, 2003

Subject:	pats self on back
Time:	3:19 am.
Mood:	pleased.
Music:	Come Sail Away - Cartman :).

Ahh, I'm so proud of myself. I went to the police gym with my dad and brother. I walked on the treadmill for about 2-3 miles...about 40 minutes all together I think. Burned 200 calories on it. And I didn't even really sweat haha. I started dancing on it to a 4-Skins song on my headphones and about busted my ass. Fun. I kept stopping at every 25 calories to stretch..and I just kept going..I didn't want to stop walking! It was crazy. I did a lot of work on my triceps. I had so much energy. I'm just proud of how I've been treating myself. Eating pretty good, drinking tons of water, and now I'm taking Stackers 2 pills. I know, I know, ephedra's in it. But it gave me so much energy, and I lost my appetite...haven't been snacking at all.

So other than that...I got blood drawn at the gyno, yuck. 3 vials worth. And the nurse kept saying the phrase "stick you". Then she got mad at me for watching the blood go into the vials...she was like "STOP WATCHING!" Lmao, it's my blood bee-atch! I talked on the phone with my ex, Robbie, for like 2 1/2 hours. Good memories were brought up..it was cool. So, uh, who's going to the 7 Days After show with me tomorrow? ;)

something draws near

1 can feel it

Tuesday, June 3rd, 2003

Subject:	Agent Smith angst drawing
Time:	12:30 am.
Mood:	artistic.
Music:	Savannah - Zao.

A day not to forget
The machine has collapsed under
the program it's been given
Look inside the broken shell
To see the broken heart
They can't believe the machine was alive
but we saw it bleed
We saw it bleed
The machine it falls apart and when it's cut it bleed
The machine bleeds

He was alive

something draws near

2 can feel it

Monday, June 2nd, 2003

Subject:	Fotki stopped being retarded, so...
Time:	5:00 am.
Mood:	lonely.
Music:	Sketches of Brazil - 7 Days After.

( Blue hair pics )

something draws near

1 can feel it

Subject:	..with an ashen face to hide a permanent smile..
Time:	4:59 am.
Mood:	crappy.
Music:	Chaos - the Revenants.

AHH! Gordo kissed a girl tonight on Lizzie McGuire!!! I about died. I mean, it was waaaay longer than the Lizzie movie kiss..damn. They zoomed in on it and everything. I was shocked haha. It was with that black girl who does the voice of Penny Proud..yeah. Oooh...and I also found out John DeSantis is gonna be in the Scooby Doo sequel!! He's probably a monster *swoons*

So..the Revenants show Saturday was pretty good. Got to tease Amanda haha ("He looks like Taylor Hanson!!"). During Agent 51, Beth, Jessica, and I left and got ice cream at Steak n Shake. Yum. Some group of kids came in as we were leaving and this guy goes "Ooh, a freakshow!" What nerve. So we were gonna go "Freakshow!" as we walked past, but Jessica was the only one that did it hah. The Revenants played "Lament"!! I was so happy..I <3 that song. They need to record it. There was a skinhead behind me *gasp* I wish Beth was there to tease me about it haha. I stood up front with Amanda..and we sang "Revenants" together hehe. It was fun. Then a special moment was shared...but I can't talk about that, or Amanda will kill me *giggles*

I finally got some pics of Jacob, their (rather sexy, I might add) new guitarist. So yeah, check it out. ( Revenants )

something draws near

1 can feel it

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