Adia's Blurty
 
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Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in Adia's Blurty:

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    Saturday, November 15th, 2003
    10:42 pm
    For Gina
    She walks over to him
    And she says, "do you remember me?
    I think we might have met somewhere before
    Southern Carolina is the place that comes to mind
    But hey, I guess you never really can be sure"

    Oh there's nothing like a true love
    To go and make a fool of someone,
    Just like before.
    And right there for a minute...
    I forgot that you don't love me anymore.

    And an old familiar feeling
    Wraps his arms around the moment.
    And he says, "so many times I've tried to call.
    You'd think it's been a lifetime,
    It's been 2 years since I've seen you.
    But it seems just like no time's gone by at all..."

    Well there's nothing like a real love
    To give you back the feel of someone, just like before.
    And right there for a minute...
    I forgot that you don't love me anymore.

    Oh, And how far we'll travel...
    For a place to heal our hearts.
    We watched it unravel...
    So why's tonight the hardest part?

    Then he says, "the weather's changing
    And it's icing up the highway.
    So I guess it's time for me to hit the road."
    So she says goodbye and then before
    She knows what she is saying
    She says, "I wish that you didn't have to go"

    Oh there's nothing like a true love
    To go and make a fool of someone,
    Just like before.
    And right there for a minute...
    I forgot that you don't love me anymore.

    And right there for a minute...
    I forgot that you don't love me anymore.

    For Everyone...

    I never thought I'd die alone.
    I laughed the loudest, who'd have known?
    I traced the cord back to the wall...
    No wonder, it was never plugged in at all.

    I took my time. I hurried up.
    The choice was mine, I didn't think enough.
    I'm too depressed to go on...
    You'll be sorry when I'm gone.

    I never conquered, rarely came.
    16 just held such better days.
    Days when I still felt alive...
    We couldn't wait to get outside
    The world was wide, too late to try.
    The tour was over, we'd survived.
    I couldn't wait till I got home,
    To pass the time in my room alone.

    I never thought I'd die alone.
    Another six months, I'll be unknown.
    Give all my things to all my friends...
    You'll never step foot in my room again.

    You'll close it off, You'll board it up.
    Remember the time that I spilled the cup
    Of apple juice in the hall...
    Please tell mom this is not her fault.

    I never conquered, rarely came.
    16 just held such better days.
    Days when I still felt alive...
    We couldn't wait to get outside
    The world was wide, too late to try.
    The tour was over, we'd survived.
    I couldn't wait till I got home,
    To pass the time in my room alone.

    I never conquered, rarely came.
    16 just held such better days.
    Days when I still felt alive...
    We couldn't wait to get outside
    The world was wide, too late to try.
    The tour was over, we'd survived.
    I couldn't wait till I got home,
    To pass the time in my room alone.


    Current Mood: depressed
    Current Music: Blink 182 - Adams Song
    Tuesday, October 21st, 2003
    2:19 pm
    I've painted you a picture, a shadow of me...Non-existant, but how things SHOULD be.
    There's a shadow just behind me...
    Shrouding every step I take.
    Making every promise empty...
    Pointing every finger at me.
    Waiting like a stalking butler,
    Who upon the finger rests.
    Murder now, the pattern called "must we"...
    Just because the son has come.

    Jesus, wont you fucking whistle?
    Something but the past and done.
    Jesus, wont you fucking whistle?
    Something but the past and done...

    Why can't we not be sober?
    I just want to start this over...
    And why can't we drink forever?
    I just want to start this over...

    I am just a worthless liar,
    I am just an imbecile...
    I will only complicate you.
    Trust in me and fall as well.
    I will find a center in you...
    I will chew it up and leave.
    I will work to elevate you,
    Just enough to bring you down.

    Mother Mary, won't you whisper?
    Something but what's past and done.
    Mother Mary, won't you whisper?
    Something but what's past and done...

    Why can't we not be sober?
    I just want to start this over.
    And why can't we sleep forever?
    I just want to start this over...
    And why?

    I am just a worthless liar,
    I am just an imbecile...
    I will only complicate you.
    Trust in me and fall as well.
    I will find a centre in you...
    I will chew it up and leave.

    Trust me.
    Trust me.
    Trust me.
    Trust me.
    Trust me.

    Why can't we not be sober?
    I just want to start things over...
    And why can't we sleep forever?
    I just want to start this over...
    And why?

    I want it when I want it.
    I want it when I want it.
    I want it when I want it.
    I want it when I want it!


    Well, I've finally gotten things sorted out. Not just with Gina, but everything in my life and surrounding it. Hopefully I won't fall apart this time...

    Hopefully.

    But yeah, those lyrics are for you, Gina. I love you...

    Current Mood: creative
    Current Music: Tool - Sober
    Friday, October 17th, 2003
    9:18 pm
    I won't cry, no I won't fall...but I can't deny, I miss it all.
    I'm not...sober all the time,
    And you bring me down, at least you try.
    Until we see this eye to eye...
    I don't want you.

    I must be running out of luck,
    Cause you're just not drunk enough to fuck.
    And now I've had it up to here...
    I don't...I don't want you.

    It took so long to see,
    You walked away from me...
    When I need you.

    Wake up...I'm pounding on the door,
    I'm not...the man I was before.
    Where the hell are you...when I need you?

    Wake up...I'm pounding on the door,
    I won't...hurt you anymore.
    Where the hell are you...when I need you?

    I'm not...angry all the time,
    You push me down, at least you try.
    Until we see this eye to eye,
    I don't want you.

    It took so long to see,
    You walked away from me...
    When I need you.

    Wake up...I'm pounding on the door,
    I'm not...the man I was before.
    Where the hell are you...when I need you?

    Wake up...I'm pounding on the door,
    I won't...hurt you anymore.
    Where the hell are you...when I need you?

    Current Mood: crushed
    Current Music: 3 days grace .:Wake Up:.
    Sunday, September 21st, 2003
    8:43 pm
    Don't be aroused...by my confession...
    Unless you don't give a good goddamn about redemption
    I Know
    Christ is coming...well, so am I...


    I...
    Don't know what to say.
    And I...
    Have nothing within me.
    But I...
    Can't stop thinking of her.
    So I...
    Sit here quietly.
    Will I...
    Find the heart to talk to her?
    Or shall I...
    Give my soul to forget her?
    Cause I...
    Don't know what I'm supposed to do...
    Must I...
    Add another scar to the others?


    ----------------------------------
    [Incubus - I Miss You]

    To see you when I wake up is a gift...
    I didn't think could be real.
    To know that you feel the same as I do,
    Is a three-fold utopian dream.


    You do something to me...
    That I can't explain.
    So would I be out of line...if I said...
    I miss you.


    I see your picture, I smell your skin...
    On the empty pillow next to mine.
    You have only been gone 10 days,
    But already, I'm wastin' away.


    I know I'll see you again...
    Whether far, or soon.
    But I need you to know...
    That I care...and I miss you.


    -----------------------

    Current Mood: crushed
    Current Music: Incubus - I Miss You
    Thursday, September 4th, 2003
    1:33 am
    "Cause today's the day I got over you..."
    I dislike everything surrounding me, and I feel like I could die. She's never on anymore. I really need to talk to her...geh...Maybe Megan's home, I could always call her, at least...that's what she told me last night. But meh, I don't want to wake her at this hour, so I'll see her tomorrow at school I guess.

    Man, I miss you, Gina. :-(

    Please get on soon or something.

    This is for...well, you know who you are...

    [crazytown - hurt you so bad]

    Now let me state it for the record...I'm jaded,
    But when you looked at me I couldn't escape it.
    I really hate it when I'm out of control,
    But baby, after the show, my mind just wouldn't let go...
    Tell me, was it a hallucination..
    That made me feel so alone?
    And even though I had never met you before,
    Can't get you out of my head.
    Now I'm pourin' out my heart for you...

    I never meant to hurt you so bad,
    I'm just tryin' to get over you.
    I hope you never meant to hurt me so bad,
    Don't you feel the same way too?
    I never meant to hurt you so bad...
    I never meant to hurt you.

    I sit and think of what I could say when,
    You look at me to reignite the connection.
    I'm gonna take you to a place beyond time,
    Somewhere that we've never been, somplace that I couldn't find.
    Now tell me if you're feeling my addiction...
    Without you I just can't disguise...
    How much I need to see your face one more time,
    Can't get you out of my head.
    Now I'm pourin' out my heart for you...

    I never meant to hurt you so bad,
    I'm just tryin' to get over you.
    I hope you never meant to hurt me so bad,
    Don't you feel the same way too?
    I never meant to hurt you so bad...
    I never meant to hurt you.

    I never meant to hurt you so bad,
    I'm just tryin' to get over you.
    I hope you never meant to hurt me so bad,
    Don't you feel the same way too?
    I never meant to hurt you so bad...
    I never meant to hurt you.

    I never meant to hurt you.

    Current Mood: confused
    Current Music: Cauterize - Something Beautiful
    Tuesday, September 2nd, 2003
    1:54 am
    Due to recent budget cuts, the light at the end of the tunnel has been turned off
    Fiona, the party was great. Thanks for having me over. And Anne, you can burn in hell. Gina, I'm sorry I haven't been on at the right times...really, I am. And I've missed you so much, more than you'll ever know. I love you. This song, however....is a message for you.

    [switchfoot - meant to live]

    Fumbling his confidence and wond'ring why the world has,
    Passed him by.
    Hoping that he's meant for more than arguements
    And failed attempts to fly....fly...

    We were meant to live for so much more.
    Have we lost ourselves?
    Somewhere we live inside,
    Somewhere we live inside.

    We were meant to live for so much more.
    Have we lost ourselves?
    Somewhere we live inside.

    Dreaming about providence and whether
    Mice or men have second tries.
    Maybe we've been living with our eyes half open,
    Maybe we're bent and broken.

    We were meant to live for so much more.
    Have we lost ourselves?
    Somewhere we live inside,
    Somewhere we live inside.

    We were meant to live for so much more.
    Have we lost ourselves?
    Somewhere we live inside.

    We want more than this world has to offer,
    We want more than this world has to offer.
    We want more than the wars of our fathers,
    And everything inside screams for second life.

    We were meant to live for so much more.
    Have we lost ourselves?
    We were meant to live for so much more.
    Have we lost ourselves?
    We were meant to live for so much more.
    Have we lost ourselves?
    We were meant to live
    We were meant to live


    Another song from me to you all...

    [switchfoot - let that be enough]

    Wish I had what I needed,
    To be on my own.
    Cause I feel so defeated,
    And I'm feeling alone.

    And it all seems so helpless,
    And I have no plans.
    I'm a plane in the sunset,
    With nowhere to land.

    And all I see...
    It could never make me happy.
    And all my sand castles...
    Spend their time collapsing.

    Let me know that you hear me.
    Let me know your touch.
    Let me know that you love me.
    Let that be enough.

    It's my birthday tomorrow,
    No one here could know.
    I was born this Thursday,
    22 years ago.

    And I feel stuck...
    Watching history repeating.
    Yeah, who am I?
    Just a kid who know's he's needy.

    Let me know that you hear me.
    Let me know your touch.
    Let me know that you love me.
    Let that be enough.

    Let me know that you hear me.
    Let me know your touch.
    Let me know that you love me.
    Let that be enough.


    Yeah, they just convey all of my wishful thinking. But fuck all that.
    Thursday, August 28th, 2003
    3:54 pm
    Razorblades and Cupcakes
    Close your eyes, shut your mouth and scream.

    Impossible you say? Actually, it's not.

    When the days incase your heart in bruises and the nights are nothing but a weight on your mind, you'll feel what it is to burn.

    She's the only one that I've ever fallen for, and now she's having doubts. That's the last thing I want. If she feels she doesn't give me enough time, she's wrong. I'm grateful for every minute I get with her, and I'm happy just to know she's safe and alright. I hope that, in time, the feelings of doubt will fade and be no more than a regretted memory of the past. But, like I said...wishful thinking.

    Anyway...I'll be here until about 9:30pm your time, Gina, so I hope we'll talk before I leave and if not, know that I miss you and...I want to share a quote from a book my mom used to read me:

    "I'll love you forever, and like you for always. As long as I'm living, my baby you'll be."

    And with that, I'm done.




    "It can't rain all the time."
    -The Crow

    Current Mood: drained
    Current Music: Cauterize - Something Beautiful
    Wednesday, August 27th, 2003
    11:22 pm
    I...can't...take...this...Born to...break...this...
    Remember all the times that we used to play...
    You were lost and I would save you.
    I don't think those feelings will ever fade.
    You were born a part of me.

    I was never good at hiding anything.
    My thoughts...break me.
    Do you understand what you mean to me?
    You are my...faith.

    Won't you cure my tragedy?

    Won't you cure my tragedy?
    Don't take her smile away from me.
    She's broken and I'm far away.
    Won't you cure my tragedy...
    Won't you cure my tragedy?

    If you make the world a stage for me,
    Then I hope that you can hear me scream.

    Won't you cure my tragedy?

    When I sit and think of the days we shared,
    And those nights you covered for me.
    Every little thing that I ever did...
    You would stand by me.

    Everytime you cried it would take my wind.
    My heart...would break.
    If I could be strong, like you were for me...
    You are my...faith.

    Won't you cure my tragedy?

    Won't you cure my tragedy?
    Don't take her smile away from me.
    She's broken and I'm far away.
    Won't you cure my tragedy...
    Won't you cure my tragedy?

    If you make the world a stage for me,
    Then I hope that you can hear me scream.

    Can you hear me scream?

    Can you hear me scream?

    Won't you cure my tragedy?

    Won't you cure my tragedy?
    Don't take her smile away from me.
    She's broken and I'm far away.
    Won't you cure my tragedy...
    Won't you cure my tragedy?

    If you make the world a stage for me,
    Then I hope that you can hear me scream.

    I can't take this anymore.
    I can't feel this anymore.
    Won't you take and give her pain to me?
    Cause my whole life I've made mistakes...

    Can you hear me scream...

    Can you hear me scream?

    Current Mood: apathetic
    Current Music: Cold - Cure My Tragedy
    12:01 am
    I love the things that we should fear, and I'm not afraid of being here...
    Separate from mind,
    Overcome in time.
    I'm taking what is mine,
    Tenemos que pelear...

    Nothing is all, I thought I was there.
    I'm finding myself going nowhere.
    Is this a mistake?
    That cannot relate...to what is fake...

    Is this what I get for learning to speak?
    For opening eyes...and digging in deep?
    Is this what I get for being reborn, from the norm?

    I don't wanna shine; light will make us blind.
    I don't wanna feel...unreal...
    What have I become?
    Born under the sun...
    Planets will converge for you...

    I'll try to break you
    I'll try to break you
    I'll try to break you

    What would it take...to not look away?
    To open my eyes and stare in the face.
    Learn from what's real,
    I'm trying to deal.
    But it's worthless…

    Is this what I get for learning to speak?
    For opening eyes and digging in deep?
    Is this what I get for being reborn, from the norm?

    I don't wanna shine; light will make us blind
    I don't wanna feel...unreal...
    What have I become?
    Born under the sun...
    Planets will converge for you

    Pushing and grinding is twisting my mind frame
    El tempo que pesa nos tumba la mesa
    Y ahora que es nuestro, mi vida te apuesto,
    Bet my life...

    I don't wanna shine; light will make us blind
    I don't wanna feel...unreal...
    What have I become?
    Born under the sun...
    Planets will converge for you...

    I don't wanna feel
    I don't wanna feel
    I don't wanna feel
    Unreal

    Current Mood: crushed
    Current Music: Ill Nino - Unreal
    Monday, August 25th, 2003
    11:35 pm
    Mein herz brennt
    Gina. Ja liebe ich sie...aber dann habe ich so viele Zweifel. Nicht über sie, Nr...aber über mich. Manchmal wundere mich ich, wenn ich das rechte für sie bin, weil ich wirklich nicht oben verwirren und sie verletzen möchte. Ich weiß daß ich glücklich bin, solch ein großes mädchen zu haben, und ich denke das höchste an die Liebe, die ich für sie habe. Ich bin gerechtes so konfuses. Ich sollte vermutlich gerade oben schließen, während ich voran bin, aber dieses ist etwas, das ich wirklich von meinem Kasten weggehen muß.

    Ich weiß nicht, ich bekanntgebe später. Yeah. Aber bis dann, ist heir ein Lien für Sie Kerle...

    Why are we here?
    I always seem to ask myself.
    Question averted,
    By the thought of someone else.
    And I'm hopelessly done with the things that I have tried to do...

    Should I give up and let the weight just fall on me?
    Day by day I struggle endlessly.
    There's nothing right.
    There's nothing good about this.
    There's nothing right.
    There's nothing great about this...life.
    And I will never know,
    How it's supposed to be...

    I keep fighting with the things inside my head.
    I used to feel so much better than...this.
    I should be laughing, but instead I'm just a mess.
    ---It's not right, it's not right to feel this way.
    I keep fighting with the things inside my head.
    I don't know how much I could take of this.
    And now I feel I'm so drowning in it.
    ---It's not right, it's not right to feel this way.

    So now you're gone, what are we supposed to do?
    I told myself not to care through and through.
    All this time seems so wasted,
    When in the end, it was all for nothing.
    There's nothing right.
    Cause I'm in a fake fantasy.
    There's nothing right.
    Cause I'm in a fake misery.
    There's nothing right.
    There's nothing good about this.
    There's nothing right.
    There's nothing great about this...life.

    You will always be...

    Another fake part of me.

    I keep fighting with the things inside my head.
    I used to feel so much better than...this.
    I should be laughing, but instead I'm just a mess.
    ---It's not right, it's not right to feel this way.
    I keep fighting with the things inside my head.
    I don't know how much I could take of this.
    And now I feel I'm so drowning in it.
    ---It's not right, it's not right to feel this way.

    Why do I always feel this way...
    And why do I always feel this way...
    And why do I always feel this way...
    And why do...
    And why do...
    And why do...
    And why do...

    I keep fighting with the things inside my head.
    I used to feel so much better than...this.
    I should be laughing, but instead I'm just a mess.
    ---It's not right, it's not right to feel this way.
    I keep fighting with the things inside my head.
    I don't know how much I could take of this.
    And now I feel I'm so drowning in it.
    ---It's not right, it's not right to feel this way.

    I keep hiding,
    But I'm drowning in it.
    And I keep hiding but I'm drowning in it.
    And I keep hiding but I'm drowning in it.

    And I keep, and I keep drowning.
    And I keep, and I keep drowning.

    Current Mood: gloomy
    Current Music: Unloco - Drowning In It
    1:41 am
    Cold - Don't Belong
    My mind takes you to where you need to be,
    Cure for your heartbreak, to take away the pain.
    I could describe each mistake for you,
    Tattoo it on my tainted heart.

    I won't ever tell the world,
    That I don't belong.
    Please don't ever tell the world,
    That I don't belong.

    That I don't belong.

    Can you still feel me, or did I slip away?
    A sick man, a monster, broken still today.
    I can't explain what happens to me,
    caught in the game I always start.
    I could describe each mistake for you,
    Tattoo it on my tainted heart.

    I won't ever tell the world,
    That I don't belong.
    Please don't ever tell the world,
    That I don't belong.
    That I don't belong.

    I won't ever change my ways,
    And I can't be strong.

    That I don't belong.

    And it's my own shame,
    I can't break away.

    I won't ever tell the world,
    That I don't belong.
    Please don't ever tell the world,
    That I don't belong.
    I won't ever change my ways,
    And I can't be strong.

    That I don't belong.
    Sunday, August 24th, 2003
    7:53 pm
    My heart is stained with love
    So, me and the guys were sitting out at the party today, and some kid kept throwing sticks at us. So I turned around and hit him with a nice size rock...right...in the face. So he tried to fight us, and when we walked away, he followed. He grabbed my shoulder and turned me around...I took a look at him and he had a hat, all his earrings, sunglasses, spike choker and a bandana underneath his hat...

    And he says "You got a lot of nerve, man."

    I said "You have a lot of...cranium accessories."

    Current Mood: cold
    Current Music: Seether - Hang on
    5:32 pm
    Something's amiss, something's askew...something's wrong...
    I don't know who to trust,
    No surprise.
    --Everyone feels so far away from me
    Heavy thoughts sift through dust,
    And the lies.

    Trying not to break, but I'm so tired of this deceit.
    Everytime I try to make myself get back up on my feet.
    All I ever think about is this, all the tiring time between,
    And how trying to put my trust in you just takes so much outta me.

    Take everything from the inside,
    And throw it all away.
    Cause I swear, for the last time,
    I won't trust myself with you.

    Tension is building inside,
    Steadily.
    --Everyone feels so far away from me
    Heavy thoughts forcing their way,
    Out of me.

    Trying not to break, but I'm so tired of this deceit.
    Everytime I try to make myself get back up on my feet.
    All I ever think about is this, all the tiring time between,
    And how trying to put my trust in you just takes so much outta me.

    Take everything from the inside,
    And throw it all away.
    Cause I swear, for the last time,
    I won't trust myself with you.

    I won't trust myself with you.
    I won't waste myself on you.
    Waste myself on you.
    You.

    I'll...
    Take everything from the inside,
    And throw it all away.
    Cause I swear, for the last time,
    I won't trust myself with you.
    Everything from the inside,
    And throw it all away.
    Cause I swear, for the last time,
    I won't trust myself with you.
    You...
    You...

    Current Mood: let down
    Current Music: Linkin Park - From the Inside
    Saturday, August 23rd, 2003
    9:57 pm
    Girls + Me = Heartbreak
    Sonny: Alright, listen to me. You pull up right where she lives, right? Before you get outta the car, you lock both doors. Then, get outta the car, you walk over to her. You bring her over to the car. Dig out the key, put it in the lock and open her door for her. Then you let her get in. Then you close the door. Then you walk around the back of the car and look through the rear window. If she doesn't reach over and lift up that button so that you can get in: dump her.
    Calogero: Just like that?
    Sonny: Listen to me, kid. If she doesn't reach over and lift up that button so that you can get in, that means she's a selfish broad and all you're seeing is the tip of the iceberg. You dump her...and you dump her fast.


    I'm seein' red,
    Don't think you'll have to see my face again.
    Don't have much time for sympathy,
    Cause it never happened to me.
    You're feeling blue now,
    I think you bit off more than you could chew.
    And now it's time to make a choice...
    And all I wanna hear is your...

    So follow...
    The leader down.
    And swallow...
    Your pride, and drown.
    When there's no place left to go,
    Maybe that's when you will know...

    Follow...
    The leader down.
    And swallow...
    Your pride, and drown.
    When there's no place left to go,
    Maybe that's when you will know...

    And foolish lies,
    Oh can't you see I try to compromise?
    Cause what you say ain't always true...
    And I can see the tears in your eyes.
    And what you said, now,
    Can't stop the words from running through my head.
    And what I'd do to get through to you...
    But you'd only do it again.

    So follow...
    The leader down.
    And swallow...
    Your pride, and drown.
    When there's no place left to go,
    Maybe that's when you will know...

    Follow...
    The leader down.
    And swallow...
    Your pride, and drown.
    When there's no place left to go,
    Maybe that's when you will know...

    I confess,
    I don't know what to make from all this mess.
    Don't have much time for sympathy,
    But it never happened to me.
    You're feeling down, now,
    I don't know where I'll be when you come around.
    And now it's time to make a choice...
    And all I wanna hear is your voice...

    Current Mood: sad
    Current Music: Unwritten Law - Seein' Red
    8:31 pm
    Plus, there's a Faygo in there...but that's mine.
    School shopping sucks. Hell, any kind of shopping sucks. But that's just me and my male genes speaking. Man, I really feel sorry for the guys who get stuck taking their girlfriend's to the mall, because they always get stuck paying and carrying the bags. And then when the guy finds something that HE likes...his girlfriend says something along the lines of: "Oh, you don't honestly need that." Which makes me want to scream "So you deathly need those shoes, eh?"

    But yeah, I was with the guys and Mrs. T. God I hate trying on clothes. Here's my method: Try on one shirt and one pair of pants, then just get the same size everytime you find something you like. This doesn't work for girls, you see, cause they have all the 'slim' and 'petite' and 'wide' shit. Us guys...just have pants.
    1:30 am
    This girl...yeah, she's great and I love her, I know this...because she told me.
    Watching TV today, and some guy was talking about alligators and how they only seem to eat little kids and pets. Not us 'big people'. Well, if you watch the interviews with the parents, you can kinda tell why the kid got eaten.

    "Well, junior wuz sitten ova thay're by the edge 'o tha water...pokin' that there alligator witha stick"

    lol, yeah...we lost a good one. The space program will surely suffer, now that Junior is no more...

    So I turned the TV off and roamed into the kitchen where my Mrs. T was talking on the phone with my mom. Thinking nothing of it, I opened the refridgerator to get something to eat when I heard her say something about the ozone layer and how we should do something about it. So I say:

    We got men.
    We got rockets.
    We got saran wrap.

    FIX IT!

    Current Mood: contemplative
    Friday, August 22nd, 2003
    11:00 pm
    I know who you are, the leader of lost souls...you can't kill me, I'm immortal
    After talking to Gina, she tells me that she's trying to update her journal but can't think of anything to write about. That brings to my attention that I always have something going through my head, and most of the time, I don't understand why half of the things in my head...are there.

    Like this morning, when I was updating this thing...I started thinking about how this Time Setting is always set on one certain time. No matter what country or time-zone you're in. So, us not located in the states, are forced to take that extra bit of time changing the timer so it fits to our needs. But did it ever come to the Webmaster's mind that maybe, in those few extra moments we take, we could be forgetting what we wanted to post here? I mean, what if what we wanted to post was really important? What if what we had to post could save someone's life? I guess that person is pretty much dead then, because we've forgotten.

    I'm just rambling, I guess. But hell, I'm allowed to do that.

    Oh yeah, I was talking to someone online today, I don't remember who, but they muttered something about Smashing Pumpkins. I said "Pumpkins? Yeah, they're awesome!" But this person just responded "Awesome? Ha! Hell no! They suck and you're crazy for thinking they're worth wasting time listening to."

    A bit upset, I changed the subject to Family Guy, only to find out that this person hated Family Guy, as well. "It's pointless and stupid, just an attempt to entertain idiots."

    That was the end of our conversation.

    How could someone hate Family Guy? I mean, c'mon! A 1-year old with plans for world domination! A dog that's considerably smarter than the husband, who constantly contradicts his wife in stupid ways! What's to hate?!

    Ah, whatever. But hey, here are some quotes from Stewie (the 1-year old evil genius...for those of you who don't know)

    --"Can I count to 3? For god's sake, I'm already shooting at a 5th grade level!"

    --Lois: "Why don't you play in the other room?" Stewie: "Why don't you burn in hell?"

    --"I require a window seat and a Happy Meal...and no pickles! God help you if I find pickles!"

    --"Of course you didn't! You worthless little (whack) There! See what you made me do?! Do you think I enjoy hitting you? Well...actually...I do...In fact, I like it so much, I'm going to do it again!"

    --Lois: "Do you want some ice cream?" "Yes, but no sprinkles! For every sprinkle I find, I shall kill you!"

    --"Play 'Wheels on the Bus' and get the hell out of my sight."

    --(Talking to Death)" Hello, I'm Stewie, big fan."

    --(exchanging e-mails with Death) "What's your e-mail? Mine's loismustdie, all one word, @yahoo.com."

    --"Forecast for tomorrow: A few sprinkles of genius with a slight chance of doom!"

    -- Lois: "Oh, but Stewie, you love oatmeal" Stewie: "Oh? I'm sorry did you-...did you just tell me what I like? Bend down!" ( Lois bends down ) ( *WHACK* ) ( Stewie throws bowl against wall ) Stewie: "Now, clean it up!"

    -- "Ahh, the breakfast thing, yes. It...it wasn't about the eggs, really, frankly I...I like the yolks, it's just...Well, there's always been a lot of tension between Lois and I, and it's not so much that I want to kill her, I just want her to not be alive anymore. And then I sometimes think if all women are like this...I say to myself, "Dear God, wouldn't it be marvelous if I turned out to be a homosexual?"

    -- *Stewie flings potatoes at Peter (his dad)
    ...."You're a disgrace to theater!"
    ....*Stewie flings potatoes at Lois
    ...."Well I just plain dislike you."

    Meg: Chris, get your leg off of my side!
    Chris: I can't. It's not my fault that I have these long dancer's legs.
    Meg: Mom! Chris won't quit touching me with his leg!
    Chris: It's not MY fault!
    **Stewie: Meg! Quit your whining! Chris, keep your legs on your own side. And for God's sake, Lois, get off your ass and do some parenting!

    -- Lois: "Hitting Peter was the first violent thing Stewie's ever done!"
    ...Stewie: "Well, the first violent thing I've done...if you don't count the time-bomb I left in your uterus before I came out. Heh. Happy 50th birthday, Lois...hahahaha!"

    -- "Damn you, vile woman! When you least expect it, your uppance will come!"

    -- Lois: "Stewie, settle down and go to bed, don't make me come in there!"
    Stewie: "Don't make me come in there!

    Current Mood: creative
    Current Music: Eve 6 - Think Twice
    1:55 pm
    The only one here is me, and I'm invisible to you.
    The irritation we're pretending not to show...
    Has replaced the motivation that I had, not long ago.

    I know that-

    I...I don't ever wanna be the one to make you forget it.
    I...I don't ever wanna be the one to make you resent it.
    I...I don't ever wanna be the one to make you regret it.
    I...I don't ever wanna be, never wanna be...never wanna be...

    --It's the beginning of the end, and I
    --Don't know where we lost control.
    --It's the beginning of the end, and I
    --Know that I am all alone.

    Interogation has replaced the trust we had...
    Your misguided accusations helping me to turn my back.

    I know that-

    I...I don't ever wanna be the one to make you divide it.
    I...I don't ever wanna be the one to make you deny it.
    I...I don't ever wanna be the one to make you deprive it.
    I...I don't ever wanna be, never wanna be...never wanna be...

    --It's the beginning of the end, and I
    --Don't know where we lost control.
    --It's the beginning of the end, and I
    --Know that I am all alone.

    I thought that we would find our way,
    I thought our lives would be okay.
    I thought that you believed in me,
    But now it seems so far away.

    The life we knew before, is gone.
    There is no compromising.
    The life you save will be your own.
    To find your inner senses.
    To find your inner senses.
    To find your inner senses.

    --It's the beginning of the end, and I
    --Don't know where we lost control.
    --It's the beginning of the end, and I
    --Know that I am all alone.

    --It's the beginning of the end, and I
    --Don't know where we lost control.
    --It's the beginning of the end, and I
    --Know that I am all alone.

    Current Mood: content
    Current Music: Spineshank - Beginning of the End
    12:59 pm
    Responsibility...what's that? Responsibility...not quite yet.
    Well...haven't slept at all today...But, surprisingly...I'm not the least bit tired. Although, I'm kind of hungry. I should go find something to eat...or beg Mrs. T to make us something.

    Yeah. Have you ever talked to someone REALLY stupid? I mean, so brainless that it feels like you're being stupified just listening to them? Yes well, if any of you have ever met or talked to Amy Cramer, you'd know what I'm talking about. She literally kills my braincells. And I'm just left, jaw-hanging...eyes wide, in result of the sheer stupidity that this girl posseses.

    Maybe that's just me

    The world may never know.

    Anyway...a song for you all...



    Life hurts so bad,
    Don't want you sad.
    Just look back to,
    Good times we had.
    I'd give my soul
    For you...I know...
    Want to hold you,
    Before I go.

    Before I go,
    I need you to know.
    I'm still alive in you,
    It's my time...to go.

    Don't stay up late,
    I'm not afraid.
    And I don't want,
    Your heart break.
    I know...I've seen,
    What's been unseen.
    Live fast, die young,
    It's part of me...

    Before I go,
    I need you to know.
    I'm still alive in you,
    It's my time...to go.

    Before I go
    ( It's my time now )
    My soul is on it's way
    ( It's my time now )

    I need you to know...
    Before I go.

    Before I go,
    I need you to know.
    I'm still alive in you,
    Before I go...

    Before I go
    ( It's my time now )
    My soul is on it's way
    ( It's my time now )

    Current Mood: annoyed
    Current Music: Unwritten Law - Before I Go
    12:55 am
    I say we jack this box of chocolatey madness!
    Well, this is my...eh...journal. This is made in part for Gina, because I like knowing what goes on in her life, so I thought maybe I'd post a bit of mine for her. Sound fair?

    I thought so.

    On a side note...I'd like to express just how PISSED my family makes me. Yeah well, they've got some problem with the fact that I'd rather stay here, in Ireland, than move back to the states and put up with their shit. But hell, it's not like they're going to come get me, so either way...I win. Still, the rage in me is neverending.

    I know.

    Stabbing pillows, right?

    Yeah.

    Current Mood: irritated
    Current Music: Seether - Out of My Way
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