Moe's Blurty Entries [entries|friends|calendar]

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[27 Apr 2003|10:38am]
I moved my journal to the user moesus. So if your reading this go there, also if your on my friend list (not many I know) can you add me over there? Thanks
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[26 Apr 2003|10:43pm]
[ mood | blank ]

Today we went and visited my nan and papa. We went to the club and caught up on everything that was happening with each others lives. I had chosen to wear my army pants and chains so nan jokingly made some comments on those (she isn't used to me like this).
My nan had been in hopsital for quite awhile, she had so many things wrong with her and the doctors did little to ease her pain. Thankfully she is home again, she still isnt 100 percent. She suffers from some thing (I don't know how to spell it) which makes one side of her face drop, mum says this will never fix itself and she is very wobbly when she walks. I hate to see her like this, and so does papa. I think he takes it pretty hard. Even though they let on they don't really get along, I know they love each other and they couldn't live without each other by their side.
My papa went out one night (years ago, during the war) with a few of his buddies from the navy and got a tattoo, its of an anchor or something on his left arm. I couldn't help starring at it today, his frail skin has made the pattern run and now it isn't very clear and I was wondering if all tattoos do that. I don't know, it was just a strange thought.

Lately, when I come to think about how I'm feeling I feel sad, but I don't know why. It doesn't effect me but if someone asked me how I'm feeling, I'd say sad, even though there is no reason to me.
I'm over feeling like this.

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[25 Apr 2003|03:20pm]
[ mood | disappointed ]
[ music | American Hi Fi- The Art Of Losing ]

Yesterday Milly came over, we went shopping and I bought the new AFI cd and the Linkin Park cd, they are both really awesome! Especially AFI. She stayed the night and today we went and saw How To Lose A Guy In 10 Days, it was pretty good.
She only really just left, so I decided to go on msn where Vicky (who never talks to me) decided to start up a conversation. Sure this might not sound like anything to be annoyed at, but she only ever says hi if she wants something in return, and what do you know? She did! I told her where to shove it and she blocked me.
I only just found out (yesterday) she has a 19 year old boyfriend (she is 14) and they have slept with each other. Sure I may sound like a goody to shoes, but this really suprised and disgusted me. I already knew she had, had sex (she had been proudly stating it to anyone that would listen) but to find out her boyfriend was 19 sort of showed me that he probably doesnt care for her that much, if that is the length she has to go to to keep him satisfied.
Am I wrong to be annoyed and disgusted by this?

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[18 Apr 2003|06:05pm]
[ mood | energetic ]

Today was (or is, its night, I'll consider the day to be over) good friday. We didn't do anything but I'm content with that, we all just sat around the box watching Harry Potter 2. It was great, I love spending time with my family so I was happy to do so.
I watched Good Charlotte's new video clip for Girls and Boys today and I loved it, it is defineatly their best clip so far!
Tomorrow I'm off to Alice Springs, I'm not sure whether I'm looking forward to it or not, I have to say I think it is going to be a bit of a dud trip but I hope I'm proved wrong.
Yesterday we went shopping, I was really depressed as Sportsgirl is ripping off punk, I'm not punk, I guess I'm kind of alternate, but it bugs me when preppy stores try to sell their version of punk to the avril wannabes, I thought they were fading out but if these stores continue to mass produce these clothes they are going to be creating Avrils by the hour. But on the glass is half full side of things I managed to get my hands on some really awesome Dr Marten boots and army pants, they rock!
I'll be back on Wednesday, I hope its a good trip, at least I'm spending time with my family (beside my sister, she is staying home 'HSC' more like partying)

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[15 Apr 2003|08:14pm]
[ mood | bored ]
[ music | Goldfinger- Supermanso Here I am ]

I showed my dad my website today so he is probably reading this right now, it only just occured to me that this is for the world to see, oh well you probably wont ever meet me and if you do you wont know its me.
Annabel just gave me a whole list of cd's I really should get, it's kind of annoying because all my money should be going towards clothes seeing as I literally only have one outfit that fits. I'll spend most of my allowance on the cd's and the rest on clothes.
I really hope we go to America soon, I hate the fashion style in Australia and I know if I go to America I can at least get the clothes I want! I've been checking heaps of books and sites but they don't have any stores around here that come even close to hot topic and emily etc. I think I will just have to take up sewing, I'll make my own clothes lol.

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[13 Apr 2003|08:30pm]
[ mood | okay ]
[ music | Sum 41- Motivation ]

My mum came back from Brisbane today, I hadn't seen her since Thursday so it was pretty good to catch up. I had been at milly's house since then, I got back on Saturday and she stayed over until 10am when she got bored and decided to go home. Then my sister began practising her driving (she is going for her P's in about 10 days) and I was stuck in the car with them, luckily I brought this really cool cd Annabel made for me so that cheered me up.
I've been feeling really down about myself for ages, I'm sick of feeling like this! I think it's because I'm over being alone.
I got hosted, so I put my site up, its called makemusic (hence my blurty name) and I really hope it goes well.
I think I will go and play some bass, Annabel wants to make a band, I'm not sure whether I'm interested though, she is an awesome drummer and I really like her, but she wants to make it with her friends, and I'm not sure whether they are just using me because I play bass or they actually like me, but considering they never talk to me, I'll take the first option. Either way I don't want to show up looking like an idiot so I'll practise all the same, besides it makes me feel good about myself.

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Last day of PLC [10 Apr 2003|09:54am]
[ mood | disappointed ]
[ music | Nothing, the silent murmor of the english class ]

For six years now I have been stuck in this snobby school filled with girls who only get around using their daddy's credit card, to them the real world is not a reality.
Today is my offical last day of it. I was looking forward to it for a long time and I honestly couldn't wait until I was free, I thought my friends cared I was leaving, it turns out they dont.
I came to school earlier than usual so that I could spend the morning with them but to my disappointment they had completely forgotten I was leaving! I know this isn't a ploy, my friends aren't great actors and I would see right through it, this was the real deal.
Most girls when leaving get flowers and presents to wish them good luck in their new school, me I got nothing. This may sound stupid but I had expected something, at least a small thing from one of my closest friends, but I got nothing. Yes it sounds rude, but when you know these people as long as I have you tend to think they would at least be upset your leaving, instead to them, today is just like any other day, bitching about one another to me expecting me to agree with them so that when they make up I'm suddenly the one in the wrong. I honestly hope my life gets better, I'm fed up with my friends, I'm fed up with everything.

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First Entry [09 Apr 2003|08:43pm]
[ mood | confused ]
[ music | Good Charlotte- The Innocent ]

People claim that your childhood are the best years of your life and I suppose for me this is true in many ways. I have everything a growing teenager, living in Australia could ever want, electronics (although this seems to be a necessity today), two loving parents, an older sister and a two story house situated on one the most highly respected streets of the suburb. Life for me has always been this way and I couldn't imagine it being any different. Sure, people could call me a snob or spoiled brat just from reading this far, but for what I have got, it seems it is going to take alot more for me to be completely happy with myself and my life.
My family situation couldn't be better, my parents look out for me and my sister guides me through the tough times, but when the alarm clock goes off it tends to ring the bells of dread.
For me, school consists of me feeling out place, sure I have friends but I dont see how you could call them that. Within my group there are smaller groups consisting of just two people. These smaller groups are best friends and they do everything together. Unfortunately for me, I'm the odd one out.
Sure, I've delt with the fact of being alone sometimes, never going out on the weekends, being pushed around on the bus by the so called 'cooler kids' and I've delt with the fact that I dont dress like everyone else.
I think the fact I'm not a teenybopper bothers people but I'm not going to change for them. All I want to do is find a group of people with common interests and who dont feel awkard around me because I'm trying to be an individual, all I really want to do is find somewhere I belong.

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