| A new day |
[26 Oct 2003|03:19pm] |
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JawBreaker |
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A new day.... Today is trick or treating day. Its soo cold out. I hate kids in 7th and up that still trick or treat...i wanna look at them and say GROW UP GOD DAMN IT! lol I mean in Galion we have high schoolers trick or treating lol And parents driving their kids around so they can t or t. I mean gosh if you want the candy, walk your but and get it. lol I LOVE HALLOWEEN!!! I cant believe its on Friday this week....bOOOOOoOOoO! lol Last nite i hung out with Crystal, it was pouring rain on and off. We went to the reformatory, the line was like freaken 2 miles long thou. So we just went home. If i can get my sister next weekend i might go. I HOPE SHE TAKES ME! lol i need a car. Before we went there we took her nephew trick or treating in shelby and we stole some bodys pumpkin. lol it was funny it was like huge. So she carried it home to give to her sister. lol
Well I have TONS of homework to do, and trick or treaters are already coming. So ill wriet more later.
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[25 Oct 2003|11:55am] |
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WWE baaabbby! |
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Can soemone explain to me how you can replace ur "best friend" over night? Cuz im not understanding this shit
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[20 Oct 2003|08:20pm] |
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Fear Factor |
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I love my background!!!! go me!!!! i just had to tell u guys how awesoem my background is. lol o and me and my friend sarah havea new song its row row row ur boat but the rap version!!! and today we make bird crap cookies for food!!! LOL SUMONE TELL ME HOW TO MAKE IT SO PEOPLE CAN COMMENT!!!! :) i.m me please or talk to me somehow lol :) I LOVE ME AND I LOVE ME MORE THAN I LOVED ME BEFORE
Im watchign fear factor this is puttin me in the mood to go eat a coachroach for sum reason it looks kinda yummy. MmMm the weird thing is im not kidding. :)
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| Im not your friend |
[18 Oct 2003|02:51pm] |
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 crushed |
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This weekend sucks ass. I dont get to go to the reformatory cuz amy went with sachin angie and leeanne and FORGOT ME! how rude!!!! and than! today we went weddign dress shopping cuz she stilll hadnt found one and we were talkign abotu her her brides maid was goign to be. I mean you would THINK it would be her sister but NOOOOOOO I dont get to be in either weddign becuz in Amy's words " Your not my friend. Your my sister." Well god damn i might not even go to her weddign at all. and im not in my sister angies weddign either. I got passed over for MY GRANDMA!!!! i mean i dont get to be a brides maid but my 80!!!! year old grandma gets to! GOD I FEEL SO GOD DAMN SPECIAL! I hate my life, I feel like im the invisible lost sister that no one knows about cuz im just the "half" sister and im not real or sumthin. But ill tell u sumthin I hate them both and if they dont want to be my sisters OR my friend than let it be! GOD my own sisters dont like me and dotn want to be my friends whats my reason for living. Im a freakin servant to everyone but thats not good enough. GOSH maybe theyll notice im not their when i just fade away and die! god why am i even living anymore? SAVE ME PLEASE
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| Today |
[17 Oct 2003|07:54pm] |
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Law and Order |
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Today sucks. I was supposed to go to the reformatory this weekend but Amy decides she doesnt want to go. Sarah was going to go with us but she says she didnt know it was on friday ro saturday she said i never told her what weekend. cough LIE cough i did tell her but its no big deal now cuz we aint even going. I have been sitting here since 4 and haevnt been able ot do anythign cuz i have ot ask before i leave and thats hard to do if no ever answers the fone or tells u where your going. Im soo bored Me and Hayley were talkign earlier about her and Kyle randolph i guess they may be hooking up. GO HAYLEY!!! Wahoo for yoU! And she asekd who i like im like dur i dont know *rolls eyes* lol and she went is it...DAVID! IM LIKE NOOOO NEVER! lol We were talkign and i said man i should be wearin him down by now. lol LIKE ME ALREADY people always say wait paintly and the personw ill like u sooner or later. LIE LIE LIE!!!! i bet your guys are gettign tired of readign abotu how much i like david but too bad cuz hes my "dream". lol god do i have obsession or sumthin? lol um no i dont. We have to write these anrrative comps in English and mine is about a man who he kills them and pokes there eyes otu than feeds them to his dogs lol its funny i think. It sounds really good thou. lol Ill have to write it in here later. lol Im sooo bored i would have went to the football game with crystal btu my family sucks!!!! O yeha and kevin is gay...he talks abotu people and than says shit abotu them TO THEM! what the heck but right after he says sumthin bad hes liek btu ur cool most of the time. I was liek OOOOO no u didnt LET ME tell you what i think of you now! hahaha Earlier I was talkign to andrew and justin and i called justin chunky being goofy cuz hes liek a inch wide and they began asking people how much they thought i weighed well they decided among themselves taht i weigh 110 lb. and that i need to lay off of the twinkies and cookies. Man i weigh 120 so damn i just really need to just stop eatign period! MAN I MUST BE REALLY CHUNKY! god shoot me....
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[15 Oct 2003|07:58pm] |
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Crazy : KC and JOJO |
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WHY CANT I BE HIS!!!!
i cant get over the fact i dont have a chance and that he hates my guts. Id rather be his bootycall than nothing. i mean its not just a silly crush ive liek dhim forever why cant he just give me a chance!!!! ALL I WANT IS ONE CHANCE!!! id live a lifetime of pain for 1 moment in his arms. To feel his embrace. To know that im not crazy and to know that maybe i had a chance. Is there a law against me beign happy? Is there? Did God set oen personup for there life goal to ruin mine? I feel the tears run down my cheeks as i wipe them away i think to myself whats wrogn with u why cant u move on? Why cant i move on. I know the answer...the answer is cuz hes my dream hes everything ive ever wanted. :( the silly thing is most people would hate someone for causing them pain, but it just makes me like him more cuz he doesnt he even knwo hes proly doing it. Id sleep a lifetime b/c in my dreams hes all i see. Its funny thou, in my dreams all we do is talk but its like the most awesomeish thing. Just being near him.....
I wish my life would take a turn for the good ANY way possible.... I wish that on a shooting star, but with my luck that star would fall on me.
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[14 Oct 2003|06:27pm] |
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last Resort: PapaRoach |
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BATON Practice from 7-7:30 tonight...Im in baton im practicing to be a majorette for tryouts in March. Im going up against 3 freshies. There really good. I dont think ill eb abel to handle it if i dont make it. A junior losing ut to a couple of freshies. Thats gonna look great. I never win no surprise ive learned to live with that fact thou. I have never een able to compete with anyone. Im very competitive i just never win. Some say its cuz I dont want it enough. BUT I DO! I dont want it....i NEED it. Its that feeling you havewhen u coem in first and everyoen is cheering for u and their tellign u how great you are. I NEED that feeling. I try to be smart. Its just hard. I used to be. But when you feel bad about yourself theres nothing there.
Me and my friends hven een gettign along. I cant seem to get alogn with people when im not happy. This is me. Learn to live with it. SOemone was tellign me that i make them want to cry becaus they know i dont like them. I told them to cry me a river than drown themselves in it. I scare myself sometimes, the way i dont care ( or atleast pretend not to) Its hard hearign people talk about u while your standing there and smile and pretend that its not beign said. Have you ever wanted to shove yourself in a corner and close your eyes and pretend everything was a bad dream? I have :( It sucks. Badly.Ive read peoples journals of them talking about death, how it feels so good cuttign yourself, feelign your life slip away as the blood drips from their wrists. Does it really feel like heaven, does the pain really leave? Are you happy now?
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[09 Oct 2003|08:01pm] |
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"Adrienne": The Calling |
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This is me Live with it and than get over it. Well my name is Bethany im 15 female and im from a small town in ohio. I have another journal at ujournal under the sn of wish4me3. SO you can check that one out if youd like but this one will have almost everything in it. This one will be what im really thinking the other is jst me hiding cuz i cant stand to listen to my "friends" critize me all the time but heres the site if you wanna check it out. http://www.ujournal.org/users/wish4me3/ thats the other journal but it sucks and its the fore seen side of me everyone sees but doesnt know. This journal is the REAL me.
Here was my day. . .
I woke up. life sucks. I hate it b/c the people in my town suck. MY dad i dont know where he is. Im not good enough for him. I see him about 5 minutes each week not even that really. I grew up listening to him and my mom fighting throught the vent that led to the living room. I could hear him screamign and sayign bad words. I could hear everything. I still can. I live in a different room now. Still sucks. No one cares about me. No one ever has. i have to put a smile on my face and pretend not to care. I wish i was dead. I hate my life...Help me find a way out. Ive liked the same guy since i was in 6th grade. 5 years ago. Still he wont go out with me. Im not good enough for him..still. Id do anything for a chance. You always want what u cant have thats what people tell me. How would u know thats true if ive never got what ive ever wanted?
If anyone is readign this please e-mail me @ sweetplaya247@msn.com or i.m me on yahoo: flirty_playa247 or on aim : innocentqt063 adn tell em how to put in my journal the code so people can comment. PLEASE
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