Me interviewed   
08:47pm 16/08/2005
mood: content
music: QueerEye song on the TV in the next room
I am in New Mexico right now and having a great time. But Claudia interviewed me, so i had to drop everything and answer. She asked me more questions than usually done, but i think theyre all very good, and will try to answer them all to the best of my ability:

1) How far do you want hydroplayne to go? Do you think it will last when four of you graduate? (i guess thats two questions)

I would LOVE for Hydroplayne to make it big and tour the world and start a revolution in modern music. Nothing would make me happier. Honestly, i would gladly spend the rest of my life with my fantastic bandmates making music. Unfortunately, i think when we graduate, the Playne will be no more. This makes me very depressed, but i hope to get as much done this year as possible. And after college...who knows......

2) (Since that was two questions, this one is related) How badly do you want to be famous? Paint me a picture.

Im not sure its the fame that i want (although that would certainly be a perk), i think its the oppurtunities the fame would create to have what i want to say listened to. I have an incredible desire to share with the world what i think and how i express myself (mostly musically at the moment) to achieve that, i would give a lot, but not neccessarily everything. I would give anything of mine, but i would give anyhting that would hurt anyone else. hmmmm im being kinda illiterate....

3) If you could look like someone else (male, female, past, present, whatever), who would it be?

Cary Grant.... i think hes possibly the most handsome person to every live. Either that or The Elephant Man, possibly the ugliest man ever alive. It would probably teach me something about humility.

4) How do you want your funeral to be again? (You told me once you wanted tibetan prayers, or something.. but i forgot.. so incase you die I need to know)

I guess that would have to be a combination TraditionalTibetan/Viking funeral. I would like my corpse, all my belongings, and my servants to be placed on a boat, and then the boat would be burned. My ashes would then be recovered and a bunch of Tibetan Monks would chant and spread them or something. Hopefully someone would find my reincarnation too.

5) If you could choose to have grown up somewhere else, where would it be?

hmmm interesting quesiton.... being here out west, i guess i would have to say i would have liked to be brought up either in Wyoming or New Mexico, to be brought up in the simpler, Western way of life. on a horseranch would have been particularly nice.

6) (you get six questions cause i want to ask you) DO you think you'll have kids? How do you plan to raise them?

I hope to have kids, and i plan to raise them in a way that would teach them to trust in themselves and the possibility for change in the world. i definitely dont want them to grow up as cynical as i fear i have become. I would teach them that everyone should be valued, no matter what their religion, race, sex, sexual preference, etc.

Thanks for the great questions, Toe! and i guess i'll have to call you, since you cant seem to get through to me.
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12:53pm 10/07/2005
mood: sick
music: Nirvana Video on the TV
well i'm sick....

I'm better than i was, becasue we switched my medication from Advil to Tylonol... so that's helped a little. Because my 103.2 fever wouldnt go down even with me taking bunches of Advil last night, we called Kaiser and they said to come in at like 11:15 PM... grrr... just to tell me that i have a virus and to rest and take drugs. So anyway, this is no fun because i cant even do anyhting musical, because i'm too weezy to sing and to headach-y to move too much. this fucking sucks.

But in other news, i am actually going to the Austin City Limits Festival... my mom bought the tickets two nights ago... WOOOO

well i guess thats all that really needs to be said today. Peace, daaaaawwwwgggggg...s.

02:30pm 08/07/2005
mood: creative
music: Last Samurai soundtrack on TV
Well... not a whole lot that's new I wrote my first ever love song... so here it is....


Buildings tumble, people quake, I am fine, I am fine.
Then you ask me if I’m going away, I am fine, I am fine.
If I’m a risk you’re willing to take, then we’ve got time, yeah we’ve got time.
This is not something I’m able to fake.

I should tell you that I don’t believe in clichés,
Just like you said you don’t believe in love.
Maybe I should just say my goodnights.
I shouldn’t be saying this at all.

I love it when we say goodnight.
I love it when we say goodnight.

That look between us at the door,
All those fleeting moments… I’m feeling perfect now.
Breathing in the sunset, breathing out the noon.
I shouldn’t be saying this at all.

I love it when we say goodnight.
I love it when we say goodnight.
If only I could sleep tonight…
I love it when we say goodnight.

If I’m a risk you’re willing to take,
I am going nowhere.
If I’m a risk you’re willing to take,
I am going to be here.

I love it when we say goodnight.

So thats it... what do you think? In other news, i'm going to be seeing a lot of music in the next few months. In a week or so, I'm seeing James Taylor, Elvis Costello, and Lyle Lovett (all in the space of a few days). In September, I'll be seeing Coldplay, and perhaps going to the Austin City Limits Festival in Austin Texas, where Wilco, Coldplay, Doves, Arcade Fire, Kasabian, the Allman Brothers Band, Black Crowes, and about 143 other bands are going to be playing. you can ceck it out at After that, in Nov, i'm going to be seeing NIN and Queens of the Stone Age.


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06:19pm 01/07/2005
mood: crushed
music: Live 8 sometimes and Wilco other times
I am back from Disney World, and have spent the past few hours at home i have been busying myself with musical stuff. tomorrow the Playne records, an i have spent all day writing and recording stuff at home. on that note, i am starting a side projuect. this is meant in no way to replace or reduce Hydroplayne, I just feel that i have music inside me that doesnt work in the current band.

And so, i am starting an Alt-Country side project called Grasshopper. If you are intrested in joining (i need another guitarist, a bassist, a drummer, and [hopefully] a multi-instrumentalist) or know someone else that is, please contact me. I will leave you with some of the newest material for Grasshopper:


Looking out my roof last night, I saw
Those thunderheads were rolling in, so I
Told myself it was alright, that the
Song was only in the wind

I swear I saw her eyes in mine, they were
Reflected in the moon. All night it was
Staring me down like I was
A fool

But still the raindrops fell down, bringing us the word.
Show me what a lie is, I’ll show you what it’s worth.

I let my heart melt last night. I
Let all my demons out, so they could
Come back to me tonight. I was
So lost.

But I swear I saw her eyes in mine, they were
Reflected in the sun. All day it was
Staring down and scorching me like I was a

And still the raindrops fell down, upon this naked earth.
She showed me what a lie is, I couldn’t say a word.
Couldn’t say a word.

And so the rain is falling, there’s nothing I can do
I showed her what I lie is, she already knew.


Knocking on my door, I know you’re inside, my old friend
Searching for my key in my front pocket,
The door opens

But who do those pair of shoes belong to, my old friend?
And now you’re trying oh so hard
To keep me distracted

Is that sweat on your face, or am I just paranoid?
     Read 1 - Post
11:22pm 18/06/2005
mood: creative
music: System of a Down
SOUNDTRACK TO MY LIFE >>Stolen from Vicki and Joe and Drew
The difference is, I made my soundtrack into two parts: the First Film, and then a Sequal.

PART 1: Lovesong
opening credits: Straightface- Son Volt
waking up: Words- Doves
average day: Salvador Sanchez- Sun Kil Moon
first date: Cinnamon Girl- Neil Young
falling in love: In the Waiting Line- Zero 7
sex scene: There There- Radiohead
fight scene: March of the Pigs- Nine Inch Nails
breakup scene: 3 Libras- A Perfect Circle
get back together: The Dolphin’s Cry- Live
secret sex scene: Thinking of You- A Perfect Circle
life's ok scene: New Slang- The Shins

PART 2: Lovesick
mental breakdown scene: Help Help- Pearl Jam
driving scene: Hey Jealousy- Gin Blossoms
lesson learning scene: Mighty Joe Moon- Grant Lee Buffalo
deep thought scene: Duk Koo Kim- Sun Kil Moon
flashback scene: N.Y.- Doves
party scene: Feel Good Inc.- Gorillaz
happy dance scene: Radio/Video- System of a Down
regret scene: Hurt- NIN
long night alone scene: Disposition- Tool
death scene: For Martha- The Smashing Pumpkins
closing credits: Don’t Take Your Love Away- VAST

I’m actually going to make a CD of this… I’m inspired to make a movie now…

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12:03am 11/06/2005
mood: shocked
music: Wilco- Monday
I havent updated in a long long time. a bunch has happened. So heres a quick recap:

Got my learners, tho i havent driven much.

Turned 17 in weightlifting class (8:26am, june 2nd)

My party went well. Hydroplayne played to a very warm reception. It was loads of fun. Thanks to everyone who came and gave me something. I dont care to anyone who didnt give me anything, and your loss to anyone who didnt come.

Hydroplayne continues to record.

SCHOOL IS ALMOST OOOVERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRrrrrrrrrr....rrr. Just one more exam... precal :(

And i wrote a new song for Hydroplayne use. here it is:


Left all alone and shuddering, /It’s through this world I’m stumbling, for
All the things I think I use to know
Looking through this window, /I feel the light of the stars
Coming down and all around my eyes

And I ask you for the last time
If what I’m doing is right.
I guess we all mistook
My silence for love.

Even though outside it seems like /The clouds are clearing,
Inside it is gray and raining.

I can see the sun, I can see the sun
But for all my Vision, I am blind. But for all my Vision, I am blind

And I ask you for the last time
If what I’m doing is right.
I guess we all mistook
My silence for love.
My silence for love

My silence for love.
I ask you for the first time If what I’m doing is right
My silence for love.
I ask you just one more time If what I’m doing is right
My silence for love.
I ask you for the last time If what I’m doing is right
My silence for love.
I ask you for the last time If what I’m doing is right

And I ask you for the last time
If what I’m doing is right.
I guess we all mistook
My silence for love.

~~~~What do you think?

Thats all for now.
Om mani padme hum

02:11pm 27/05/2005
mood: cheerful
Today i went to go get my learners.... only to find that the MVA was closed for the weekend. grrrrr
So we went looking st cars.

This nice man named Ajit showed us a few and we actually ended up buying one! WOOOO! new car! Will eventually become MY car!!!

Its a 2002 Nissan Pathfinder. Its gold/champagne colored and has lots of room. a 6 CD changer, seat warmers and a TV/DVDplayer! yay!
     Read 3 - Post
I'm updating just for kelly   
02:01pm 24/05/2005
mood: drained
music: Red House Painters- in my head
I have found a really kool band. It has the same lead singer as Sun Kil Moon. This band is called Red House Painters. Its somewhere between folk, stoner-rock and counrty. Tis very cool.

Anyway, here's lyrics to one of Hydroplayne's new songs. Emma and I wrote the lyrics around music by Piper. Gracie might sing some of it. ...... YAY!


Seeing isnt believing,
Everyone says so, they know so.
And yet they're so wrong
Wrong, Wrong

And you're seeing right through me, I can feel your eyes on the back of my head
And the way that your're staring, makes me so lonely, I'd be better off dead.

Why did it work this way?
I wish i knew.
Fallen, lost,
Paranoia's taking over

And you're seeing right through me, I can feel your eyes on the back of my head
And the way that your're staring, makes me so lonely, I'd be better off dead.

One truth, one desire
One wish to shatter
One mind to singlehandedly pull us through
One mind, one mind, one mind to pull us through

And you're seeing right through me, I can feel your eyes on the back of my head
And the way that your're staring, makes me so lonely, I'd be better off dead.

Well thats it. i'm feeling a little down right now but thats okay. my friends are being freaks around me.

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12:34pm 06/05/2005
mood: contemplative
Here's one of the songs i mentioned:

(words by Sam Cooper,
music by Amir)

Slipping back into that hole again,
That hole so hungry and deep in the ground.
And maybe if I wasn’t so quick to defend,
I could see that there is some light to come.

I must try to remember I am not alone
It’s spinning like a prayer: “I am not alone”

I can’t stay standing in the sun,
Burned and paralyzed by the pressure.
But I just can’t pretend to outrun
These predators, predators, predators, predators

I can’t let myself forget I am not alone
It’s getting hard to believe I am not alone
I need some kind of sign that I am not alone
That even in this fight I am not alone

Open up this wound and
Laugh at me, I love it when
You make me bleed. It’s the
Only thing I feel

I must try to remember, I must try to remember
I must try to remember, I must try to remember

I must try to remember I am not alone
That even in this fight I am not alone
Open up this wound and laugh at me
I love it when you make me bleed
     Read 2 - Post
01:39am 06/05/2005
mood: creative
music: NIN~ Sunspots
yay my computer works now!

I am trying very hard to write the last song that will be on our album (#15), but i can't seem to get the ideas in my head to work on my guitar. Oh well. It will come when it comes.

But the most recent songs are pretty good ("Glass" and "Not ALone"), and i'm working on one right now called "Me and My Martyr"

We'll so it goes

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Why do you get all the love in the world?   
10:14pm 04/05/2005
mood: uncomfortable
music: NIN- "All the love in the world"
Some new things:

I got NIN's "With Teeth." it is great. I realize that some people in my circle who say that they like NIN arent really fans. They just like it because they think "Closer" is a good song to freak dance to. The lowest kind of music appreciators.

I got new headphones. They're so cute!

I am very conflicted. There seems like theres a war going on in my head every minute of the day. Maybe that would account for all the recent headaches....

Hydroplayne records soon! And then maybe tours! Wooooo

Who are my friends?
     Read 11 - Post
11:45pm 27/04/2005
  i have barely talked to people for the last week, and yet i get the feeling that there is some en-mass hatred against me. I dont know why... i just get that feeling. There seem to be jokes made at my expense, plans made without me, general contempt directed at me. Maybe i'm just imagining things. If i am, would someone please tell me so i dont get more upset?

I dont think ive done anything to deserve this (maybe imagined) hatred.

Shit, i just feel like screaming sometimes. Life just eats away too much energy.

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I am not alone   
10:42pm 20/04/2005
  WEll i told my mom.... through an argument. And now I'm going to get the help that I've needed for so long.

I never thought this song would ever really apply to me:

Lost again
Broken and weary
Unable to find my way
Tail in hand
Dizzy and clearly unable to
Just let this go

I am surrendering to the gravity and the unknown
Catch me heal me lift me back up to the sun
I choose to live

I fell again
Like a baby unable to stand on my own
Tail in hand
Dizzy and clearly unable to just let this go
High and surrendering to the gravity and the unknown
Catch me heal me lift me back up to the sun
I choose to live, I choose to live, I choose to live

Catch me heal me lift me back up to the sun
Help me survive the bottom

Calm these hands before they
Snare another pill and
Drive another nail down another
Needy hole please release me

I am surrendering to the gravity and the unknown
Catch me heal me lift me back up to the sun
I choose to live, I choose to live

~A Perfect Circle: "Gravity"

Well it doesnt fit exactly.... but good enough.
     Read 1 - Post
Once Upon a Time (more like a day ago)   
03:48pm 19/04/2005
mood: curious
music: Garbage- Stupid Girl
There was a boy named Pitfall....

Hehheh. anyway. About a day ago, i believe i hurt someone. And i confess that i played dumb and pretended not to see what was going on. I did not respond to any of the hints, or anyhintg. I would just like to say that i think i do know what was going on, and i am sorry. but i cannot help the way that i feel. I hope you can understand.

Things are looking up.

04:18pm 17/04/2005
mood: cynical
everyones semming to do this survey, so, like the sheep i am, i did it it too.

Really Long Survey (over 200)

Created by starsbleed2nite and taken 80985 times on bzoink!

What is your name?Samuel Wilson Cooper
Are you named after anyone?well, the wilson part came from my great great grandfather--- who lived in Dodge City during the Wild West days. He was a newspaper man.
What's your screename?MagicSam88
Would you name a child of yours after you?no
If you were born a member of the opposite sex what would your name be?Abagail
If you could switch names with a friend who would it be?no one. i like my name
Are there any mispronounciations/typos that ppl do w/ your name constantly?well, people sometimes say "Samn" as "Sammin," which is wrong. also, sometimes they spell my name "Copper"
Would you drop your last name if you became famous?no... but i'd change it to Uel
Your gender:male
Straight/Gay/Bi:Bi i suppose
Single?yes, at the moment
If not, do you want to be?no
Your age:16
Age you act:i dunno... someone tell me
Age you wish you were:uh 7.... or 16
Your height:6'2"
Eye color:blue
Happy with it?yes
Hair color:blonde
Happy with it?yes
Lefty/righty/ambidextrous:right when writing and playing guitar, amb at everything else
Your living arrangement:me and me ma and our zoo
Your family:what about em?
Have any pets?many
Whats your job?student/musician/artist/actor/amateur theologian
Addictions?caffeine (absinthe if I'm not careful)
Do you speak another language?not really
Have a favorite quote?not one that comes to mind, but i like many
Do you have a webpage?kinda
Deep Thoughts About Life and You in it
Do you live in the moment?not really, but on occasion, yes
Do you consider yourself tolerant of others?yes, but i do not suffer fools
Do you have any secrets?many
Do you hate yourself?at the moment? not really. but i have before
Do you like your handwriting?sometimes
Do you have any bad habits?yes
What is the compliment you get from most people?"you sing really goood"
If a movie was made about your life, what would it be called?The Boy Downstairs: Under the Loincloth"
What's your biggest fear?having my lungs being invaded by siafu ants
Can you sing?yes
Do you ever pretend to be someone else just to look cool?uhhh noooo
Are you a loner?not usually
What are your #1 priorities in life?to survive~ Maslow's hierarchy of Needs
If you were another person, would you be friends with you?matters what kind of person this other person would be
Are you a daredevil?No
Is there anything you fear or hate about yourself?yes
Are you passive or agressive?passive as all get out
Do you have a journal?yes
What is your greatest strength and weakness?strength- creativity :: weakness- tendency to backslide into apathy
If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?my weight i guess
Do you think you are emotionally strong?no
Is there anything you regret doing/not doing in life?yes
Do you think life has been good so far?nothing is all good or all bad. It has had aspects of both
What is the most important lesson you've learned from life?don't trust yourself
What do you like the most about your body?its a tie between my collarbones and my teeth
And least?my ankles
Do you think you are good looking?no--- but not terribly ugly either
Are you confident?depends
What is the fictional character you are most like?wilson, the volleyball from castaway
Are you perceived wrongly?yes... most of the time *sigh*
Do You...
Do drugs?matters what you consider drugs
Read the newspaper?yes
Go to church?sometimes temple, but not even that very often
Talk to strangers who IM you?yep
Sleep with stuffed animals?nope
Take walks in the rain?yep
Talk to people even though you hate them?yepo
Like to drive fast?n/a
Would or Have You Ever?
Liked your voice?yes
Hurt yourself?yes
Been out of the country?yes
Eaten something that made other people sick?yes
Been in love?yes
Done drugs?again, matters what you consider a drug
Gone skinny dipping?no
Had a medical emergency?no
Had surgery?no
Ran away from home?no
Played strip poker?no
Gotten beaten up?no
Beaten someone up?no
Been picked on?yeah in elementary school
Been on stage?many many times
Slept outdoors?yes
Thought about suicide?yes :(
Pulled an all nighter?yes
If yes, what is your record?was awake for a full 37 hours the first day in Europe
Gone one day without food?yes
Talked on the phone all night?not all night
Slept together with the opposite sex w/o actually having sex?yes, infact did last night and the night before
Slept all day?not all day
Killed someone?no
Made out with a stranger?no
Had sex with a stranger?no
Thought you're going crazy?yes
Kissed the same sex?no
Done anything sexual with the same sex?no
Been betrayed?yes
Had a dream that came true?yes many times
Broken the law?yes
Met a famous person?yes -Alex Grey!!!! woooooo
Have you ever killed an animal by accident?yes.... my mousy :(.... but he was a cannibal
On purpose?bugs
Told a secret you swore you wouldn't tell?yes- but only once, a long time ago
Stolen anything?yes
Been on radio/tv?hmmmm i think i was on the news or something
Been in a mosh-pit?yeah
Had a nervous breakdown?yes
Bungee jumped?no
Had a dream that kept coming back?yes
Belive in life on other planets?yes
Miracles?what kind?
Satan?i believe in the devil more than Satan
Love at first sight?yes
Yin and yang (that good cant exist w/o bad)?definitely
Witches?i know a few
Easter bunny?no
Believe its possible to remain faithful forever?yes
Believe theres a pot of gold at the end of a rainbow?oh yeah
Do you wish on stars?no
Deep Theological Questions
Do you believe in the traditional view of Heaven and Hell?not really
Do you think God has a gender?no
Do you believe in organized religion?i believe that whatever people believe in is their choice and if that is organized religion, then yes
Where do you think we go when we die?Antartica
Do you have any gay/lesbian friends?yes
Who is your best friend?Piper, Craig
Who's the one person that knows most about you?Piper
What's the best advice that anyone has ever given to you?"do what feels right"
Your favourite inside joke?Huhhnay
Thing you're picked on most about?my bizarre collection of preserved insects... lol... i dunno
Who's your longest known friend?Craig
Ditziest?Michelle.... but thats not really true
Friends you miss being close to the most?Joe
Last person you talked to online?Mike
Who do you talk to most online?Emma
Who are you on the phone with most?My mom
Who do you trust most?myself
Who listens to your problems?Piper, but she doesnt reallt have a choice
Who do you fight most with?I dont really fight
Who's the nicest?Alex
Who's the most outgoing?Craig
Who's the best singer?Amy
Who's on your shit-list?I dont have one
Have you ever thought of having sex with a friend?no
Who's your second family?the Ownenses
Do you always feel understood?no
Who's the loudest friend?i dont know
Do you trust others easily?not strangers
Who's house were you last at?Amy's
Name one person who's arms you feel safe in:Alex's lol
Do your friends know you?kinda
Friend that lives farthest away:James
Love and All That
Do you consider love a mistake?what kind of love? and what kind of mistake?
What do you find romantic?the dark
Turn-on?intelligence, humor, beliefs, kindness, compassion
Turn-off?arrogance, too much outspokeness, apathy, self- impotance
First kiss?yes...
If someone u had no interest in had interest in dating u how would u feel?flattered and akward
Do you prefer knowing someone before dating them or goingwell i would at least like to know a little about them
Have u ever wished it was more socially acceptable 4 a girl 2 ask a guy outit isnt?
Have you ever been romantically attracted to someone physically unattractivuhhh i suppose?
Do you think the opposite sex finds you good looking?not really
What is best about the opposite sex?female logic
What is the worst thing about the opposite sex?female logic
What's the last present someone gave you?flowers from the play
Are you in love?I think i might be
Do you consider your significant other hot?n/a
Who Was the Last Person...
That haunted you?my dad
You wanted to kill?no one
That you laughed at?Simon
That laughed at you?Simon
That turned you on?Alex lol
You went shopping with?my mom
That broke your heart?no one
To disappoint you?i dunno
To ask you out?Katherine
To make you cry?no one
To brighten up your day?Alex
That you thought about?Carolyn
You saw a movie with?Russ
You talked to on the phone?Craig
You talked to through IM/ICQ?mike
You saw?my mom
You lost?i dunno
Right This Moment...
Are you going out?yes
Will it be with your significant other?no
Or some random person?no
What are you wearing right now?clothes
Body part you're touching right now:torso
What are you worried about right now?my foot
What book are you reading?Grass for his Pillow
What's on your mousepad?folders
Use 5 words to describe how you're feeling:clean
Are you bored?no
Are you tired?a little
Are you talking to anyone online?no
Are you talking to anyone on the phone?no
Are you lonely or content?lonely
Are you listening to music?no

Create a Survey | Search Surveys | Go to bzoink!

     Read 1 - Post
my new song   
03:36pm 14/04/2005
mood: apathetic
music: Blind Melon- No rain
i wrote another solo song, and recorded it last night. I now have four songs. Enough for a demo or somehting yay! the sound of it is probably the closest I've written to Pop, even though the lyrics are dark, and the guitar is played in the lowest tuning I've ever written a song in. Again, when you're reading, assume it isnt about you. Anyway, here are the lyrics:


If I take a step towards you,
I wanna know you're gonna step too
Cuz I can't go alone
Like I did last time

And I have no choice but to add another scar
And i have no way out but to wish upon a star

Well the devil and me,
We've become so close
Well the devil and me,
We've become one

If this dust rolls in thicker
I think I'm gonna choke
But I can't just leave
Without havin' the last joke

And I have no choice but to watch you walk away
And I have no way out and nothing left to say

Well the devil and me,
We've become so close
Well the devil and me,
We've become one

I know, I know, I know you couldn't save me
I know, I know, I know you couldn't save me

Well the devil and me,
We've become so close
Well the devil and me,
We've become one

The devil and me

     Read 2 - Post
Little angel go away   
09:32pm 12/04/2005
mood: distressed
music: Radiohead- Paranoid Android
So I've lapsed back into my old old self again: an apathetic, threatening asshole. Maybe between my juvenile cries for attention I could find some way to change.... but i think I'm just too lazy. I apologize to anyone that i hurt as my newfound self. Hopefully this me wont survive too long. I'm not sure how I got to be this way again, but there are a few things i am sure of.

I am tired of being just a friend to everybody. My whole body is tense and shuddering with longing.

I've slipped deeper into that dark place that so many people go farther than I've ever gone before. I can't see any light above me, and I'm not sure I ever will.

I'm becoming more friendly with the devil than i ever wanted to be.

I can't stop myself this time. I just love it so much.

To anyone who reads this: just remember that no matter what i do, I will always love you all and never meant to hurt anyone by any of my actions.

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11:27am 11/04/2005
  So I'm back.
So the trip was cool.
So Hydroplayne played.
So I'm beginning to think that the origin or all life is nothing but an unending cycle of destruction and creation, that will eventually lead to history repeating itself. Exactly.
09:04pm 23/03/2005
mood: anxious
music: QOTSA
Woo hoo... new Queens of the Stone Age Album came out yesterday.... and me ma got it for me today when she was in rockville. and oh how good it is indeed.

Anyway, i will be on a plane to Europe in less than 33 hours.... let the countdown begin!

As promised, I am now posting lyrics to my new solo song "From Under the Waning Moon." I will be doing it all at once this time, because i don't have much time to do installments :D. For all those who are interested, the sound of this song could be considered "alt-country," as most of my solo songs turn out sounding like, and somewhat of a cross between Sun Kil Moon and REM.


From under the waning moon she comes
The sound of thunder across the sky calls to some
While she's learning to walk, I'm learning to fly
And I'm earning for some peace of mind

"You guessed right again my friend,
And now I'm asking you, no, I'm begging you not to tell a soul
It's so secret, it's our secret, you want it, I need it."
Secrets, secrets

Torn asunder the pieces of her life
And I wonder just what can be done to revive
This beauty, this treasure of the stars
So moody and gone away too far

"You guessed right again my friend,
And now I'm asking you, no, I'm begging you not to tell a soul
It's so secret, it's our secret, you want it, I need it."
Secrets, secrets, secrets

Secrets, tell another one. Secrets, you're the one I love. Secrets, tell another one. Secrets.

"You guessed right again my friend,
And now I'm asking you, no, I'm begging you not to tell a soul
It's so secret, it's our secret, you want it, I need it."
Secrets, secrets, secrets, secrets.

So that's it. I would love to hear any interpretation of lyrics, because i like to hear what people think my songs are about. I'll give you a hint: It's not about you (unless the person that most of it is about happens to stumble across my blurty, but i doubt that will happen). So i hope you like the words, and maybe sometime you can hear the music.

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09:47pm 20/03/2005
mood: weird
Not a whole lot is happening right now... just preparing for my trip to Prague/Bratislava/Budapest. Today i bought $400 worth of art supplies for the trip. Starting to get a wee bit aggrivated by the divas in drama. And by the play... but oh well, it should be okay. Hydroplayne hasnt practiced in a long time... its pissing me off. But on the other hand, I did record a solo song. its pretty cool. It's called "From Under the Waning Moon" and i will post lyrics sometime soon. I hope you enjoy them, for they are pretty good, and very cryptic (as all Sam Songs are). Only i know what they truly are about. MUAHAHAHA. I hope to take this solo(ish) project far; I've alreadt talked to johhny about playing on the album. he agreed, because hes nice and a good drummer.

Shit... this has been the most shallow entry ever.

To compensate, I will leave you with my latest thoughts:

What exactly is significant in the eyes of the cosmos? Certainly not the life of an individual. Perhaps not even the collective lives of all the living beings in the universe. I would venture to say that the smallest thing to make any difference on a cosmic sense would have to be activity of a multi-galactic sense, assuming there are infact galaxies. On this note, we have been lied to most of our lives. We have always been told: "it's up to you! One person can make a difference!"
But how much difference can one person possibly make in respect to the Luminous Void, the Heavens, the Great Everyhting?


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