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Sunday, January 23rd, 2005
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7:32 pm - I'm Bored.
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LAYER ONE: ON THE OUTSIDE
Name: Allison RUTH Clarke
Birth date: 8-17-84
Birthplace: Buffalo, New York
Current location: Durham, North Carolina
Eye color: boring brown
Hair color: see above
Righty or Lefty: RIGHTIES RULE
Zodiac Sign: Leo, though I think I'm not really that Leoish
LAYER TWO: ON THE INSIDE
Your heritage: half Chioti, half American
Shoes you wore today?: sneakers. Adidas? Nike? I dunno.
Your weakness: food. any food. ever.
Your fears: being too stupid/inept to get into grad school, internships, whathaveyou
Your perfect Pizza: pineapple and chicken and onions on thin crust
LAYER THREE: YESTERDAY, TODAY, TOMORROW
Your most overused phrase on Aim: lolololololo...you get the picture.
Your thoughts waking up: goddammit, not again.
Your best physical feature: IT SURE AS FUCK AIN'T MY NOSE! or my boobies. *The Itty Bitty Titty Committee: I'm not just the president, I'm also a member.*
Your bedtime: PFFT. 2am? 3am? whenever I get the fuck off the computer/guitar?
Your most missed memory (ies): summer in Durham or California with the uncle, high school graduation and the overwhelming feeling of importance/badassness proceeding from it (maybe not that whole thing with the tickets to the ceremony, though. Jeebus.)
LAYER FOUR: YOUR PICK *Picks*
Pepsi or Coke: DCOKE!
McDonald's or Burger King: COOKOUT HAS HUSH PUPPIES AND IS BADASS.
Single or Group Dates: single. group dates = drama.
Adidas or Nike: whatever fits my abnormally large feet
Lipton Ice Tea or Nestea: ew.
Chocolate or Vanilla: chocolate, especially when churros are involved. yummmm.
Cappuccino or Coffee: coffee. cappuccino, like sushi, is overrated muck that people only buy to seem sophisticated.
LAYER FIVE: DO YOU?
Smoke: no, despite Dad's constant parading of clove cigarettes under my nose.
Cuss: HOLY FUCKING GOD YES.
Single: meh? please rephrase.
Take a shower everyday: twice if I go to the gym.
Think you've been in love: yessir
Like(d) high school: better than junior high, incomparable to college.
Want to get married: eventually, why not.
Believe in yourself: I would if I had a reason to :D
Get motion sickness: all the fucking time.
Think you're attractive: meh.
Think you're a health freak: yes, but if I hear the phrase "you're anorexic!" one more time I will kill someone. EATING FRUIT AND VEGETABLES DOES NOT MAKE ME ANOREXIC, YOU FUCKWADS.
Get along with your parents: either one or the other, but never both at the same time.
Like thunderstorms: absolutely.
Play an instrument: I can play Time of Your Life and You Were Meant for Me on the guitar! I am so inordinately proud of myself!
LAYER SIX: IN THE PAST MONTH
Drank alcohol: I don't remember. I don't think so.
Done a drug: nope
Gone on a date: nosir
Gone to the mall: ...yes! I got ballerina slippers!
Been on stage: no.
Eaten an entire box of Oreos: I WISH!
Eaten sushi: I eat the grilled salmon rolls, but that's not really sushi because it's cooked.
Been dumped: BWAHAHAHAHA we're not even going to talk about that.
Gone skating: fortunately, I'm not stupid enough to put myself in a situation that I know will hurt me.
Gone skinny dipping: ew.
Dyed your hair: no
Stolen anything: umm...I think I borrowed $20 from my mom and never paid her back. I guess that's stealing.
LAYER SEVEN: EVER
Played a game that required removal of clothing: I don't think so
Been trashed or extremely intoxicated: if by "trashed" you mean "got sick from drinking too much but not felt silly or had any positive side effects", then yes.
Been caught "doing something": by the police, no less.
Been called a tease?: honey, I get called all sorts of things behind my back.
Gotten beaten up: I got in a fight in fifth grade or something, but a teacher stopped it.
Shoplifted: I stole a beanbag turtle from Vidler's once but I felt so bad I went back and paid for it a couple of days later. And in 7th grade I stole candy and shit from Tops all the time. hehehe.
Changed who you were to fit in: hi, welcome to my entire middle school experience!
LAYER EIGHT: GETTING OLDER
Age you hope to be married: not too soon, not too late.
Numbers of children: can you put negative numbers here?
Describe your dream wedding: itty bitty teeny tiny. Simple dress, best friends and closest family, outside somewhere beautiful with the mountains and the sea. Potluck picnic reception (but fuck, I'll splurge on the cake).
How do you want to die: quickly.
What do you want to be when you grow up?: a nutty professor
What country would you most like to visit: China, Japan...Greece again.
LAYER NINE: IN A GAL/GUY
Best eye color?: doesn't matter
Best hair color?: I like me the brownettes.
Short or Long Hair: depends on the guy. Normally short, but some people just aren't meant to have short hair. Amen.
Height: taller than me, but not so tall I have to crane my neck to kiss them.
Best first date location: I don't really "go on dates", so I don't know.
Articles of Clothing: not smelly.
LAYER TEN: IN THE NUMBERS
Number of people I could trust with my life: um. 4?
Number of CD's I own: 35-40
Number of piercings: 4 holes, unless the other ones've closed
Number of tattoos: 0
Number of times my name has appeared in the newspaper: Umm, if you count the Advertiser as a newspaper, an assload.
Number of scars on my body: there's the one where the doggie ate me, but that's more like a dimple at this point.
Number of things in my past that I regret: I don't know, maybe I should have applied to more schools or done more extracurriculars in high school or something. I love Duke, though. So maybe none.
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(comment on this)
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| Friday, May 21st, 2004
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1:11 pm
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| Thursday, April 22nd, 2004
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3:41 am - Simple Math
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JEANNIE + ALCOHOL = AWESOMEAWESOMEAWESOMEAWESOME
Jeannie: And then they were like, you're Egyptian! and I was like dude! no, I CAN'T be Egyptian! I'm Chinese! and Egypt is like five thousand...TRILLION miles from China!
---
Jeannie to Victor: Never, ever tape your nipples! because it huuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuurts!
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Jeannie: I taped them because I didn't want them to *points* STICK OUT.
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Victor: Jeannie, why don't you tell us about Biochem?
Jeannie: Yes!...NO! I haven't been paying attention...
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Allison: You have to eat this toast, Jeannie, because you have to have one slice of toast for every drink you had.
Jeannie: I DO?
Allison: Yup.
Jeannie: OH! Ok...well, I'll do it because I trust you. You take care of me! I love you and Victor!
---
Jeannie: And then she wanted to make out with me! and I was like, noooooooooo, because that would be CHEATING ON MY BOYFRIEND.
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Jeannie: Sravan says I'm moral.
Allison: Sravan says you're what?
Jeannie: I'm MORAL. M-O-R-A-L.
Allison: Damn, honey, I'm really surprised you got that right.
Jeannie: You're SURPRISED that I'm MORAL?
Allison: No...I said...you know what, never mind.
---
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(comment on this)
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| Tuesday, April 20th, 2004
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12:16 am - my god
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Tehhund: hey
bludevlagain: hey
Tehhund: *poke*
bludevlagain: what's up
bludevlagain: poke yourself
Tehhund: Too late, I already poked you
Tehhund: goto thefacebook.com now
bludevlagain: gotta love the poke
Tehhund: What does it do? I'm the first person I know to poke anyone
bludevlagain: it just says you've been poked
Tehhund: (hehe, this is going to sound weird)
Tehhund: poke me
bludevlagain: YOWZA
bludevlagain: clearly
bludevlagain: this has become a phenomenon
Tehhund: That's awesome
bludevlagain: :-)
Tehhund: I'm going to IM Jeff and tell him to poke me
Tehhund: hehe, poke your friends while you poke me
Tehhund: Wait, that sounds a bit too dirty.
Tehhund: I'd better be more careful with my new term
bludevlagain: oh, lord
bludevlagain: we're all going to hell
bludevlagain: for internet sex we're not even having
Tehhund: haha
Tehhund: HAHAHA
Tehhund: I suggest not telling Chris about this joke, unless you want him poking you
bludevlagain: oh jesus
bludevlagain: that
Tehhund: God knows he'll take it too far
bludevlagain: hits a little too close to home
Tehhund: Plus, he might poke you with things that really weren't made for poking
bludevlagain: haha
Tehhund: What, has Chris already poked you?
bludevlagain: like the 5 inch bowie knife
bludevlagain: constantly
Tehhund: Jesus, Christ
Tehhund: er, Chris
bludevlagain: best freudian slip EVER
Tehhund: Yeah
Tehhund: I was trying to call upon the Lord, Jesus Chris
Tehhund: But I kinda messed it up
bludevlagain: now THAT is a bad idea
Tehhund: Well, assuming he's not like our Chris, it's fine
Tehhund: My poor friends, I'm going to go around poking all of them
bludevlagain: haha
bludevlagain: and they will have complexes because of it
Tehhund: I just poked my friend's ex-gf... is that a violation of some rule?
bludevlagain: not if it's an ex
bludevlagain: exes are fair game
Tehhund: You can associate with them, but it's usually good to check before poking them
Tehhund: Tha's kindof a big step
bludevlagain: but what if it's unannounced and unexpected?
Tehhund: Did you poke me back?
bludevlagain: and you're both drunk?
bludevlagain: yeah
Tehhund: I would say that this is war, but that would start a whole bad dynamic
Tehhund: What the hell, this is war
bludevlagain: POKE WAR
Tehhund: POKEPOKEPOKEPOKEPOKEPOKEPOKEPOKEPOKEPOKEPOKEPOKEPOKEPOKEPOKEPOKEPOKEPOKEPOKEPOKEPOKEPOKEPOKEPOKEPOKEPOKEPOKE
Tehhund: This is great
bludevlagain: *succumbs*
Tehhund: hahaha
Tehhund: It doesn't really count off of thefacebook.com anyway
bludevlagain: that's very true
bludevlagain: pokes may not be physical
Tehhund: No, I think that thefacebook.com pokes and physical pokes are included here
Tehhund: Let me put it this way: next time I see you, you're getting poked
bludevlagain: in PUBLIC?
Tehhund: You shouldn't have put the idea of physical poking in my head, I hadn't thought of it until you said it
bludevlagain: jeez, can't I even get into the mile-high club or something?
Tehhund: Oh, I'm going to throw you down and poke you wherever we are
bludevlagain: CONGRATULATIONS
bludevlagain: welcome to my profile
Tehhund: haha, you're already on mine
bludevlagain: nice
bludevlagain: this is truly a fruitful conversation
bludevlagain: hope we're both using protection
Tehhund: If I had one, I would show up at Basset wearing a raincoat (a real one) just to poke you, b/c that would be hilarious.
bludevlagain: haha borrow one
Tehhund: I'll try
bludevlagain: niiiiiiiice
bludevlagain: when I least expect it
bludevlagain: rainpoked
Tehhund: Then I'll tell Chris that you told me to come to your room, and to bring a raincoat
bludevlagain: PLEASE do not give him ideas
Tehhund: Ideas? He'll think he's SOL
bludevlagain: or decide to compete
Tehhund: That is, if he catches on to the significance of bringing a raincoat to wear while poking someone
bludevlagain: he will, I think
Tehhund: Yeah, if it's dirty and maybe embarassing, Chris will catch on. And yeah, he will compete
Tehhund: I'm saving this conversation, btw
bludevlagain: good to know, this is something that deserves posterity
Tehhund: Yeah, I want to remember poking you for a long time
bludevlagain: since it was so good and all
bludevlagain: and your first
Tehhund: Did I say it was my first time poking someone? ... er, *ahem*...
bludevlagain: THAT'S RIGHT
bludevlagain: I have concrete proof!
bludevlagain: paul's first poke...and it was so short, too. *sigh*
Tehhund: lol
Tehhund: Hey, you seemed to have liked it, we've been poking ever since
bludevlagain: I'm a poking fiend
Tehhund: If you don't talk about my poking, I won't tell anyone that you've been poked rotten
bludevlagain: wasn't aware I could be poked rotten
bludevlagain: thought I came rotten and the poke promulgated it
Tehhund: Yeah, you were born to be poked.
bludevlagain: born to be wiiiiiiiiiiild
Tehhund: I think we've beaten this to death
Tehhund: For the time being, anyway
Tehhund: There will be much more to talk about after I poke you on the Chapel Quad
Tehhund: And if everything's clear, I won't be wearing a raincoat, so look out
bludevlagain: ohno!
bludevlagain: on guard at all times
bludevlagain: btw, I say nothing about beating the poke to death
Tehhund: Look, maybe you can poke all the time, but there's only so much poking a guy can do.
bludevlagain: poor poke, it's tired
Tehhund: Yeah, having finished my poking for the night, I'm going straight to sleep
Tehhund: Hope you're not mad
bludevlagain: what, no cuddle?
bludevlagain: all right, all right, it's over now.
bludevlagain: we're done.
Tehhund: hahaha
Tehhund: "What, no cuddle" was a good end to that one
bludevlagain: muahahaha, thanks
Tehhund: So I ran my foot along the ground, and felt somehting flat. I picked it up to see what sheet of paper I had dropped... it was a piece of pepperoni
Tehhund: the moral is that my roommate is a slob
Tehhund: he landed pepperoni on my side of the room
bludevlagain: that's AWESOME
bludevlagain: how did he manage that
Tehhund: Um, by being a freaking slob, I don't know
Tehhund: (how's this for pillow-talk?)
bludevlagain: talking about your roommate's slobbish tendencies?
bludevlagain: kinda kinky
Tehhund: hahaha
Tehhund: Usually one talks dirty during the poking, but I guess if you like it this way
Tehhund: ...
bludevlagain: or before
Tehhund: Yeah, next time you hear me say something about food left on my floor or punch spilled on the fridge, you'll know I'm just trying to get you going
bludevlagain: a sophisticated code indeed
bludevlagain: "my room is SO messy" "oh, baby, me too"
Tehhund: That's hot
Tehhund: I'm starting to run out of profile space
bludevlagain: HAHA
bludevlagain: you know your poke is good when it goes over a text limit
Tehhund: hahaha
Tehhund: I will have nore profile quotes than I have time to put up
bludevlagain: AND we ran out of time
bludevlagain: damn
bludevlagain: we're prolific
Tehhund: my poke brings all the girls to the yard, and they're like, it's better than yours
bludevlagain: no, sorry, that's just wrong.
bludevlagain: YOU LOSE
bludevlagain: haha
Tehhund: Your musical tastes are found lacking
bludevlagain: no, you just failed at the poke
bludevlagain: they have medicines for that now, you know
Tehhund: Ever been poked by someone who's not happy with you? It's not comfortable
Tehhund: And that's what you're asking for
bludevlagain: nonconsensual poke?
bludevlagain: mostly my pokes are consensual but paid
Tehhund: How am I not surprised that you would get poked for money
bludevlagain: I'm just that kind of a girl
bludevlagain: a willing pokee
Tehhund: Not nonconseual poking, just rough poking
Tehhund: What's the difference between a girl from NY and a rooster?
bludevlagain: I don't remember!
Tehhund: A rooster will say "cock-a-doodle do"
A girl from NY will say "Any [poke] will do!"
Tehhund: Or something like that
bludevlagain: oooooh, right
Tehhund: Deirdre would hit me right now
bludevlagain: haha I shoulda remembered that
bludevlagain: well, you'd deserve it
Tehhund: Except it was Ohio last time
bludevlagain: judging by this conversation we'd both deserve it
bludevlagain: right
Tehhund: Wait, who just finished telling me that she'll get poked for $$?
Tehhund: You don't need to get hit, you just need a good poking
bludevlagain: same difference, with some guys
Tehhund: Ouch, that's a whole bad territory
Tehhund: I guess you're pretty used to it though
Tehhund: poke fiend
bludevlagain: I am the pokeateur
Tehhund: ?
bludevlagain: I duno
bludevlagain: it's french
bludevlagain: seems to apply
Tehhund: gotcha
Tehhund: I was thinking along the lines of amature
bludevlagain: ooooooh
bludevlagain: nope, definitely a pro
Tehhund: WEll, I'm spent
Tehhund: I can't believe you got me to do some poking, even after I was done
bludevlagain: like I said, I'm a professional
bludevlagain: I know how to get out that last little bit
Tehhund: But now that you've taken up way too much of my night poking, I'm definitely passing out
Tehhund: night
bludevlagain: night
Tehhund is away at 12:14:00 AM.
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(comment on this)
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| Friday, March 19th, 2004
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11:06 pm - I'm bored
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Dawn of the Dead is the. worst. movie. ever.
1. What's your full name? Allison Ruth Clarke
2. What pants are you wearing? stretchy jeans with little useless pockets that have a tendency to cling to my ass
3. What are you listening to right now? Roseanne...oh god
4. What was the last thing you ate? Triscuits for dinner
5. If you were a crayon, what color would you be? purple
6. Where did you go on your honeymoon? you mean my fake, theoretical honeymoon? who cares, as long as I'm with someone I love :)
7. Who was the last person you talked to on the phone? Jon when he came to pick me up to see aforementioned worst movie ever
8. What's the first thing you notice about the preferred sex? The way they look at you.
9. What side of the bed do you sleep on? both...I'm a flipflopper :)
10. Do you like the person that sent this to you? it's BILLY :)
11. Your favorite drink? Diet Coke
12. Favorite sport to play? uh...sport? I don't like sports.
*13.* Do you like how I added my own question? yes (very clever, billy, very clever)
14. Favorite sport to watch? BASKETBALL!
15. What's the next CD you're going to get? I'm too poor to buy cds
16. Did you ever wear braces? nopers
17. Best memories? summer in CA, walking around EA with my boys...hanging out with Faye...sleepovers.
18. Do you like toilet paper to roll off the top or the back? TOP!
19. Siblings and their ages? Jeremy, 29, Boo, 6, James, 3.
20. Favorite food? anything that strikes the balance between tasting good and not making me feel like crap
21. Last movie you watched? DAWN OF THE DEAD OH GOD IT'S SOOOOOO BAD
22. Are you too shy to ask someone out? it depends...if they seem interested, I might go for it...well, ok, I'm lying, I am. :)
23. Favorite place to go on a date? oh, anywhere...doesn't matter to me. honest.
24. Do you like scary or happy movies better? I like movies that make me think...most of which are neither scary nor happy.
25. Hugs or Kisses? also depends...I like hugs, but nothing can beat a kiss from the person you love most - then again, you have to be in love with them or it doesn't feel the same.
26. Chocolate or vanilla? chocolate, usually
27. Who is most likely to respond to this e-mail? I don't think anyone even knows I do this anymore
28. Who is least likely to respond? everbady
29. What books are you reading? just finished Ender's Game
30. What's on your mouse pad? powerpuff girls
31. Favorite magazine? urgh...I can't find any I like
32. Favorite smell? I don't...know...chocolate chip cookies, maybe
33. Least favorite smell? smells that make you lonely...you know, ones that remind you of places or people you miss. For example, I have a "Billy smell" and an "Adam smell" that make me miss them every single time.
34. Worst feeling in the world? frustration
35. Best feeling in the world? freedom
[x] they call me: allison, allie, ayie
[x] sex: female
[x] status: looking :)
[x] occupation: intellectual
_______REWIND_______
[x] most memorable memory: uh...I don't know, probably the one I'm living now
[x] worst?: there are a couple, neither of which I'm gonna share with you
[x] first word uttered: duck
[x] first friend ever?: jessie
_______FAST FORWARD_______
[x] college: dukieduke
[x] occupation: professor
[x] mobile: home, yes, i know
[x] future resident of: nice apartment? I think
[x] wedding: wherever my husband wants it, doesn't matter to me much
[x] children: ...I don't think so, but I might change my mind
[x] looking forward 2: breeding my fishies :)
[x] NOT looking forward 2: uhm...all these papers I have to write
_______PLAY_______
[x] feeling: tired, a little bit bored, but mostly tiiiiiiiired
[x] listening to: TV
[x] doing: this
[x] thinkin of: what else I should be doing
[x] craving: someone to WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAATTTTCHHHHHH...over me.
[x] missing: oh, goodness, I don't know.
[x] hating: the people outside my door
_______FAVORITES_______
[x] song: nonexistent
[x] radio station: 102.1 THE EDGE (from Canada) :)
[x] tv show: Family Guy...if only there were more episodes!
[x] channel: cartoon network, probably
[x] site: maddox.xmission.com
[x] movie: oh, uh, uhm...ask me tomorrow, when I don't have DAWN OF THE DEAD to think about
[x] store: express, though I can't afford it
[x] hang-out spot: trinity
[x] actor: edward norton? or...yeah, edward norton's good enough. russell crowe.
[x] actress: not sure
[x] food: see above
[x] character: TERRA
[x] book: oh, let's see...The Color Purple, David Copperfield...Ender's Game was good...The Secret History
_______LOVE_______
[x] love is: awesome when you can get it
[x] first love: I guess it depends on what kind of love you're talking about
[x] love or lust?: love
[x] best love song: god, love songs suck
[x] is it possible to be in love with more than one person at the same time?: I don't think so
[x] when love hurts, you: r life sucks
[x] true or false: all you need is love: I guess so
[x] is there such thing as love @ first sight?: I don't think so
_______SPECIES_______
[x] turn ons: sense of humor (but hopefully not THAT much funnier than me), awesomeness
[x] turn offs: smelly people suck
[x] does your parent's opinion on your bf/gf matter to you?: depends on the parent and the reason for the opinion
[x] what kinda hair style?: short hair's good, but only on certain people...whatever fits the face
[x] the sweetest thing a member of the opposite sex can do for you?: just be there
[x] where do you go to meet new people?: out with friends and friends of friends
[x] what kinda roof is over your head?: slate, slanty, oldschool.
[x] do you like tomatos?: yup!
[x] internet connection: mmmmmmm ethernet
[x] how many TVs in the house?: 1
[x] how many phones?: 1
[x] how many residents?: 115
[x] how many DVDs do you have?: oh, probably 10 or 12
[x] last dentist visit: over summer, I think
[x] last doctor visit: beginning of the semester when I felt like crap all the time
[x] last phone call: outgoing? oh, jeez...umm...to my uncle in CA
[x] last IM: jon about movie
Bold anything you had, remember, liked, whatever. Best and longest 90's list ever!
5ive
7-up ("it's the up thing!")
98 degrees
alanis morissette
all that
animaniacs
aqua
are you afraid of the dark?
arthur
babysitter's club
babysitter's little sister series
backstreet boys
barenaked ladies
barney
batman: the animated series
batman and superman adventures
beanie babies
beauty and the beast
beavis and butthead
beverly hills 90210
big bad beetleborgs
big help
bill nye the science guy
blossom
bobby's world
bonkers
boy meets world
boys II men
brandy
brother's keeper
the bugs bunny and tweety show
butterflies (like in everyones hair!)
capri sun
chumbawamba I think that's right
chip and dale rescue rangers
chuck e. cheese ("i'm free", "where a kid can be a kid!")
clueless
creepy crawlers
the critic
d.a.r.e ("...to keep kids off drugs")
the d.a.r.e lion
daria
darkwing duck
dawson's creek
disney adventures magazine
doug
dr. pepper lip smackers
dragonflies
"duh!"
eagle eye cherry
earthworm jim
eek! the cat
empire records
eureeka's castle
family matters
feival
figure it out
fox kids
frasier
freakazoid
free willy
fresh prince of bel air
friends (the clothing company)
full house
furby
gak
ghostbusters
ghostwriter
giga pets
"girl power!"
goof troop
goosebumps
grunge
hair scrunchies
hangin' with mr. cooper
hanson
hey dude!
home alone (I and II)
homeward bound: the incredible journey
the hulk
i know what you did last summer
I believe I can Fly
independence day
jelly sandals
jewel
jnco jeans
kenan and kel
kool aid
lambchop's play along
lfo
life with louie
lip smackers
lisa frank
the macarena
mariah carey
mcdonalds (did somebody say mcdonalds?")
meanie beanies
mega warheads
men in black
MmmBop
monica
mr. belvadere
nano pets
natalie imbruglia
nerf ("it's nerf or nothin'!")
the night before christmas
nirvana
no doubt
no fear clothing
no mercy
no rules clothing
nsync
odd man out
the offspring
one saturday morning
pepper ann
pete and pete
pinky and the brain
plastic purses
pocahontas
pogs
political correctness
polly pocket
power rangers
puff daddy
push pops
quack pack
raving
recess
ren and stimpy
rocko's modern life
rugrats
sabrina the teenage witch
salute your shorts
samurai pizza cats
sanrio surprises
savage garden
saved by the bell
saved by the bell: the college years
schoolhouse rock
scruff mcgruff ("...Chicago, Illinois, 60652.")
seinfeld
shania twain
sister sister
skip-it
small wonder
smart guy
space jam
spider-man
spice girls
street sharks
sketchers
stick around
stick stickly
stickers
stretch armstrong
sugar ray
super nes
tattoo bracelets
the taco bell dog
talkboy/talkgirl tape recorders
taz-mania
teen angel
tgif
third eye blind
the three ninjas
the tick
tiny toon adventures
titanic
tlc
tomagotchi (Tamagotchi)
tom and jerry kids
toy story
two of a kind
uncanny x-men
vanilla ice
vr troopers
the wb ("dubba dubba wb", "the frog")
welcome to good burger home of the good burger can i take your order?
"whatever!"
where in the world is carmen san diego?
where in time is carmen san diego?
will smith
x-men: the animated series
yak back
you wish
yoyo ball
zillions (consumer reports for kids)
THEY FORGOT KRIS KROSS LOLOLOL OMG
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| Friday, January 30th, 2004
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12:52 pm - The End
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Hello all -
So I've decided to make my threats a reality and end the blogation. I've realized in the past few weeks that updating is no longer fun, so why should I continue to do so? However, I'm not going to delete this - I want to keep up to date with my friends list and if maybe possibly someday I decide to post again I want to have the option. Please don't obliterate me from your lists, then, as I will be *watching yooooooou* muahahaha.
It's been real, folks, and I'll be seein ya.
:)
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| Wednesday, January 28th, 2004
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3:41 pm
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*cough* Excuse me, I ordered another snow day...it must have been misplaced somewhere.
So I'm a big fan of the three day week, which is what we'll be having this time around on account of a *HORRIBLY DESTRUCTIVE SNOWSTORM* which lasted two days and dropped three inches of snow. On the other hand, I'll take what I can get - if North Carolina decides not to invest in plows then hey, that's their own downfall. The only thing is that I'm really glad the roads are clear today because we were running out of toilet paper. Heheh. Never get snowed in without toilet paper. It was much fun, though, as I got lots of sleep and went to a semi-formal, which then reverted from a semi-formal to a wine and cheese night (on account of the snow...silly snow). The only two people I drove with in the past two days were from Louisiana and they made it through the non-plowedness a lot better than some New Yorkers I know. I was impressed. Anyway, so Monday night we went out to dinner and came back for wine and cheese. I wore a black dress and looked good. :) However, the snow came in my shoes because they were strappy and open-toed. Blast.
I have a German test on Friday, and as such I suppose I should be studying, but I'm not. I went to that class today and we had a sub because my professor couldn't drive in. Let me describe the fifty minutes to you in a few choice words:
painful
excruciating
boring
forced
stupid
wasteful (as in it wasted my time)
blaaaaaaaah
It made me realize how lucky I was to get a decent German professor. Language courses can be am suckysten or am notsuckysten. Now I have experienced both.
I'm watching The Powerpuff Girls and they're putting cheese on a mammoth. Ah, now I see - the plan is to get the mammoth run out of town by rats. Classic.
Nooree is mad at me and will not tell me why. Oh, well.
I just woke up. Well, I mean, I went to class, but after class I came back and took a long, warm nappie. For some reason, I have been taking a lot of nappies lately. I wonder if I am sick...or maybe I just LIKE SLEEEEEEEP. And warmth. Warm sleep. I think I'll go do that again now. Mmmmmmm.
Sleep.
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| Tuesday, January 27th, 2004
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2:26 pm
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I'm baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaack
after a long but very fun night.
Update later, I'm hungry and untoothbrushed.
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| Thursday, January 22nd, 2004
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12:15 am - the luxury of obsession
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I thought of something.
Every cloud has a silver lining, they say, and mine is showing bright and clear through the tempest that has become my life.
There is nothing wrong with me.
All through last year, I thought I was unhappy. I was suicidal, anorexic, caffeine-addicted, overnervous, overtired, overstressed, and generally unpleasant to be around (though I'm not saying that this has made me a bright light or anyone's joy). I didn't really tell anyone, because I thought there was shame in doing so - only the very closest of those close to me (read: Nooree) heard about the way I felt. No matter what was going on in my life, I found something to complain about. It's not that way anymore. Now that I have woken up every morning for the past six weeks with an unhealable, unapproachable pain in my chest, I know what's truly important.
Through all of this, no matter how unhappy or desperate I've been, not once have my thoughts turned (with any sort of meaning) towards suicide. I have (on occasion) thought it would be easier to be dead, but I have no intent to make myself that way. I have been concentrating wholeheartedly on how this is going to play out in the future, and regardless of how I see that future unfolding, I want to be there to meet it. I have a full bottle of Tylenol sitting at my right hand, and it is not going to move. Ever.
I don't want to starve myself anymore. Given, this might be because I am sick and not really eating right to begin with, but if I want a cookie, damn it, I'm going to eat a cookie - and when I'm done with the cookie, I'm going to stop. I've spent every year since high school struggling with my weight and my perception of myself, but that's...so...unimportant. I'm realizing that now, finally, after six years of self-torture. It might not last, maybe, but this is going to be a memory that I carry with me for the rest of my life - when it comes down to it and what matters is jumping out in your face, how much you weigh is not going to be one of the things you think about. Trust me.
I have important things to worry about now - my future, my relationships with my friends and myself, the dissolution of something I once called unconditional love - and I am not going to be a victim of my own petty impulses and rages anymore. Fuck you, anorexia, you can't mess with me.
I will win this.
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| Wednesday, January 21st, 2004
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11:24 pm - w00t
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Eat it, Maryland!
Hehehehe.
We are awesome.
Today was a fairly good, very busy day. I found out this afternoon that I did all the wrong reading for my Renaissance class :( but it's due next week so now I'm ahead :) woohoo. Went to Trinity, found out I have to cut a bunch of people off their shifts, got upset, was comforted by Natalie (that happens a lot lately)...had my one-on-one with Terry, which went fairly well...sleep, reading, Trinity, Maryland game, which we WON! YAY! and now is now. Maybe if I'm not too tired tomorrow I'll run to the Study Abroad office and pick up the applications for Madrid. I probably will be too tired. I'll do it Friday. I'm preemptively lazy. :D
Still sick, though. I'm getting really tired of this...at this point I'm almost wishing it would get worse. At least that way I could go to the doctor's or the hospital or something and be diagnosed, medicated, and enemaed for money. Yes, it going away would be ideal, but HAVING A LEGITIMATE DISEASE might help as well. Bah.
Oh, maybe I should put some sort of deep insight into my life here, but my fishies need their water changed first. I'll log off, then maybe I'll think of something to say and log back on...
...or maybe I'll fall asleep.
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12:20 am - right
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Sorry about that last.
It was a tough weekend.
I found out on Sunday that one of the girls I graduated from high school with died the day before; the discovery coincided with the memorial service of a Duke student who was a friend of some of my residents (though I didn't know her personally). So I went through a lot of death. And it's weird, too - intellectually, I know Carrie is dead, because everyone I went to school with is talking about it. This may seem like overreacting to some, but I went to a high school of about 600 people and no one died while I was there - actually, I think the last student to die in my high school did so about 3 years before I even matriculated. So in a small, insulated community such as mine, something like this is a huge tragedy.
Anyway, I was saying - I know Carrie is dead - but whenever I picture her, I keep seeing the same girl I went to school with, the one who used to make fun of me in middle school but was really nice by the time we graduated, the funny, outgoing, goofy person I used to see in the halls and laugh with - the girl who played softball and soccer and...oh, I don't know. She was too alive to not be alive anymore.
And the way she died - and the way people are reacting to the way she died - well. She was drinking, and she passed out and threw up and choked. I found this out from Rachel - and the thing is, I talked to my mom at home today and I was the one who had to tell her.
Why should I have to do that? If a girl who graduated from my school, who lived only a few miles away from my house, died, why should I find out in North Carolina before my mom does in East Aurora? I've heard that they're trying to hush it up because it was alcohol-related and they don't want people to think anything's wrong with the place we live - hello, people, my high school made CNN two years ago because on Halloween the kids rioted against the police. It's not like we don't already get enough bad press. Admittedly, it's a good place to raise kids, but you know what? People drink there. They drink and they smoke pot. A lot. And this needs to be told if anything is to be done about it. Ignoring the problem, as usual, will only make it worse.
It makes me very, very upset.
And the fact that Sasha died - well, I never met her, but from what I've heard of her she seemed like a beautiful person with an amazing mind and her death is a terrifying reminder of everyone's mortality. It kills me to see my girls so upset, but there's nothing I can do because I know if one of my close friends died I would be a fucking basketcase for the rest of my life. Plus the girls who were her friends also happen to be the ones who don't like me.
:(
As you may imagine, between these things and my all-too-recent and emotionally destructive breakup, I am not doing too well.
Well, I'd be doing better, I think, but I am sick now - sick all the time...I wake up wanting to throw up, I skip breakfast, I skip lunch, I eat dinner, I get sick, I throw up, and then the cycle starts again the next day. Realistically, I know that the problem is at least 60% psychosomatic, but you know what? I can't start to heal emotionally until I start to feel better physically, but the only person I know who can make me feel better physically is the one who's making me feel bad emotionally. Well - wrong - the way I feel is Not Nooree's Fault, as he's been as supportive as possible, but the fact is that the only thing that will make me feel better when I'm sick is putting my head on his lap and relaxing, and it's kind of hard to do that now. Maybe someday, maybe someday.
I'm still lonely. But I'm trying not to think about it.
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| Sunday, January 18th, 2004
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7:07 pm - I am a selfish, shallow little fuck.
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| Saturday, January 17th, 2004
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9:42 pm
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When you have a problem, looking to pop culture to help you solve it is generally a very bad idea. I haven't even been seeking advice, yet I find myself inundated with it. Long-distance commercials tell me to keep in touch with my family, because they're all I have. Sarah McLachlan says I have to learn to stand by myself, or I will never grow (or I think that's what she's saying). Don't forget Walmart commercials, which promote healthy, Republican-style family values in an attempt to make us ignore the fact that Walmart consists of ruthless capitalists who hire illegal immigrants to cut labor costs. I have resorted to watching Law and Order because it is the only thing I can find that doesn't try to push anything on me (well, besides the fact that I shouldn't rape or kill people, which I already know. I think).
There is a peculiar side effect of being in an emotional crisis that consists of an extraordinary susceptibility to suggestion. Perhaps that's why cult leaders target little kids with divorced parents. I'm not being asked to join a cult - unless you consider pop culture cultish. I understand the whole "McWorld is destroying global society" argument, though I don't necessarily ascribe to it, but that isn't the point I'm trying to make. My point is that, right now in my life, watching TV could be very bad for me. In the past hour, I've seen countless commercials that promote weight loss, dating services, hair removal appliances, and all sorts of other products that want me to purchase them in order to make myself more attractive. Each one of these prompts momentary - unimportant, but still there - blips that surface and then fade: "If I were to buy one of these things, if I were to make myself less hairy or drop weight off my 5'6", 125 pound frame, if I were to fill my name and essential information onto a Scantron form, maybe it will make my life better; maybe it will lift me out of these feelings of being unloved, unwanted, stood up, and help me find a man who will treat me the way I want to be treated".
I realize that the vast majority of people who watch commercials will not think this way, because they are happy (comparatively) and much less likely to be open to the power of suggestion. However, I am chilled by the thought that maybe people like me are the ones the advertisers are counting on to push their products - we, the conflicted, sad, depressed, are being targeted specifically because we are more likely to spend money trying to improve ourselves than anyone else would be.
Untrue, maybe, but chilling nonetheless.
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| Friday, January 16th, 2004
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9:54 pm - The Life of an RA:
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**PHENOMENAL COSMIC POWERS!*
...itty bitty living space...
I am on-call and thus very, very bored. I have watched much Law and Order and Monk tonight (it's easier to keep the TV on USA than to actually have to pick something). I just got ripped off by paying $10 for an inordinately small salad. I do not like being stuck in a 160 square foot space for 12 hours. No wonder they find it hard to sucker people into this job. And I played video games. I've exhausted my sources of entertainment and it's only 10pm.
And I have to do it all again tomorrow.
Boo.
Actually, tomorrow might be better because I might be able to sucker Nooree into coming over to keep me company. Maybe I'll make him bring Star Wars. w00t. Then again, he might not come. unw00t.
Tomorrow's the Wake Forest game! You should watch it - it'll be on network TV at 1pm. We're the best two teams in the ACC, and it'll be a fricking awesome game. It's in Cameron. We'll win. I might go. Then I could be on TV and you could see me! OOOOOOoooooooOOOOOOOhhhhh.
Sorry, adolescence is taking over my brain due to acute boredom/cabin fever.
A man should come to my room RIGHTNOW.
*sigh*
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| Thursday, January 15th, 2004
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6:39 pm
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I have come to the conclusion today that I need a rebound boyfriend. Either that or Jeannie should make good on all those threesome promises. I'm kidding.
Anyway, I DO need someone, if only for a little while, to wean myself off of having a constant male presence. I never realized how much harder it would be to have a boyfriend in college - you're so used to constantly being in each other's rooms and sleeping in each other's beds that trying to quit is like going off cigarettes or something. Not that I would know what it's like to quit smoking. Meh, I need to make out with someone.
Even Jeannie.
*I feel so risque!*
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12:16 am
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oh, and Jeannie and I are giving a letter to DSG tomorrow that could potentially get us fired for doing the right thing.
Good luck to us. Bad luck to ARAMARK. Bastards.
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12:12 am - overheard at Trinity yesterday
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Why do I even bother going to a school that purports to have smart people in it?
Random Girl Getting Coffee: "Oh, she works with kids that are...oh...oh, you know...like the Ethiopians when they don't have enough to eat...inebriated! That's the word, inebriated."
Allison's Mouth: *hangs open slightly*
Allison's Brain: "Or YOU'RE the inebriated one...emaciated, stupid, the word is emaciated."
Legacy students.
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| Wednesday, January 14th, 2004
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4:17 pm - wow
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Sir Thomas Wyatt was one bitter son of a bitch. But I guess I would be, too, if I'd been in a relationship with Anne Boleyn and then got thrown in jail once my best friend decided to divorce her.
Farewell, Love - Sir Thomas Wyatt
Farewell, Love, and all thy laws forever.
They baited hooks shall tangle me no more.
Senec[a] and Plato call me from thy lore
To perfect wealth my wit for to endeavor.
In blind error when I did persevere,
Thy sharp repulse that pricketh ay so sore
Hath taught me to set in trifles no store
And scape forth since liberty is lever.
Therefore farewell. Go trouble younger hearts
And in me claim no more authority.
With idle youth go use thy property
And thereon spend thy many brittle darts:
For hitherto though I have lost all my time,
Me lusteth no longer rotten boughs to climb.
Yikes.
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| Tuesday, January 13th, 2004
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6:40 pm
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Mom -
Get the hell out.
Friends-only until my mom learns to mind her own damn business.
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| Monday, January 12th, 2004
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2:48 pm - why I like Jorge
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Jorge: a mi me paso eso con una novia, y ella estaba en tu lugar y ahora somos muy buenos amigos porque nos dimos cuenta que como amigos nos podiamos entender mejor y tener menos problemas, solo que es dificil llegar a eso, y uno de los problemas de ilusionarte
Jorge: con algo es que tu mente no va a dejar de pensar en el y sin que te des cuenta, vas a perder ciertas libertades por el
Jorge: pero bueno, ya me tengo que ir, ya no te sientas mal, vas a ver que pronto todo va a ser mejor y talvez mucho mejor
translation for the people too lazy to go to Babelfish: :D
That happened to me with one of my girlfriends, she was in your place and now we're really good friends because we realized that as friends we could understand each other and have fewer problems, it's just hard to get to that point, and one of the problems with building your hopes up about something like this is that your mind isn't going to stop thinking about him and you have to realize that you're going to lose certain privileges. Anyway, I have to go, but don't feel bad, you'll see it'll get better and maybe much better.
A beautiful thought on a beautiful day. :)
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