| 4:46p |
and then it began
Sometimes, i think it would be nice to just disapear.
Start again, new name, new face, new place.
Then i remember i did that, and im still running from myself, which seems to follow me relentlessly no matter where i go.
Im sick of fighting a war i never signed up to, battles i never aggreed to, and feelings i cant even describe.
Maybe im loosing my mind, maybe this is relality.
When i did become everything i never wanted to be?
Im sick of this....pretence.
Do i look alright to you? with tears in my eyes, a hole in my heart, and a dagger perched curiously on the edge......
Excuse my nonsense and excuse my nonsenseicle rambling, this is merely my life.
(excuse my bad spelling, i have no excuses for that)
I wonder how i got here, i wonder alot how that happended, where things so bad before that i wanted to swap it for this?
Apparently so.
Get out, easy to say, oh yes.
In reality i will follow myself every where i go, so alas my problems will always be there. If only there where a way to loose part of yourself.
Without loosing a limb, as they help.
Maybe we're all a charade really, we sport this shell to the outside world, perfectly formed humans, with all our marbles in tact, but as soon as that front door closes maybe we all melt down into this smush of non understanding hurt and shame.
Maybe thats just me.
Im not enjoying leaving the house currently, if i can spend days without doing so, then i do, its ok theres no one to notice or care, so i can. |