| felt like doin this ... |
[25 Dec 2003|03:24pm] |
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mood |
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 depressed |
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music |
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the stalkhom syndrom-blink182 |
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my life is depressing and boring .. it*s christmas, shouldn*t i be happy?? why am i not happy?? why does everyone think i*m so ugly, and why does everyone like rachel better than me?? oh god, i sound like a fuckin kid .. i*m so pathetic !! i don*t even know why i still have this blurty thingie, i never use this one cause i have a private one .. i*m soooooo lame !! iight no one wants to hear me be gay so ima go ...
byee <3 Marissa
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| just bored.. |
[06 Aug 2003|12:25am] |
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mood |
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 drunk |
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music |
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losing grip-avril |
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nothing really happened lately...yesterday i babysat my cousins...nothing special except i got $20 bucks:)...today rob and charles came over...their so funny when their together...we were all in the basement and me rob and charles all started like hitting each other with pillows and stuff...it was fun until my chain broke:(!sad...oh well...i'm so bored..and cindy's being real weird...i called matt gay and she was like ok lets talk about people that are gay...and started naming all this stuff about alfred, that i would prolly do too..do i don't think he's gay at all...omg today i was really thinking about the letter i sent him...its fucking killing me that i don't know if he got it or not...ahhhhhhhh...i just want a sign or something that lets me know he got it and read it and thought about it...good god, its fucking making me a crazy person...he's never online so i never talk to him...he don't talk to cindy anymore, i have his cell number but i get to nervous when i call him cause i never have anything to say...plus if i called him, he's be like what the fuck?! it's just to scary...i'm scared of what he thinks...i just want to know if he got it and then i'd prolly be thinking omg he got what the hell does he think of it?i wanna see him sooooooooo bad more and more everyday that i think of him...and i think of him constatly...he's never off my mind...
i was talking to jimmy today and he told me that he's been thinking about me alot lately..i was like ooh why?and he was like i dunno why...then he told me he had a dream about me and i was like what was it about?and he was like we were at school and we went back to your house and you lived alone and i can't remember the rest...and i was like suure...and he was like nahh i really can't remember the rest...i was like ooh...it was cool to talk to jimmy cause i haven't in a loong time...but ohh well...i really don't wanna go back to schoool...like i dread going back...i do every year...but its not gonna be the same ya know? i'm gonna miss walking in every morning and sitting down facing the 8th grade boys just so i could look at brian and watch him and have him maybe look at me. i'm gonna miss having stacey come over at lunch talking to me stevie and danaee and giving me huggs:) cause she comes in earlier than everyone else. i'm gonna miss the dances, wishing and hoping that brian will ask him to dance. i'm gonna miss talking to kristi at lunch sometimes....i'm really just gonna miss that 8th grade class...i hate my class...their sooo fucking annoying...all of 'em...i hope a lot of new and exciting people come this year..and some hott guys wouldn't hurt either:)..i just don't want to go back...i hate school...
anyways...kristi IMed me today and was like where were you today?! and i was like at my house why?and she was like cause i wanted you to come to conwell with me tonight but you were online...and i was like lol ooh..and she was like what you doing tomorrow...and i was like nothing...and she was like wanna come to conwell with me so you can meet all my friends and i was like suuure...then i was like wait i gotta get school shoes...and she was like it takes all day to get shoes? i was like lol but i prolly won't be home til like 7 and she was like well wanna come around 8? and i was like iight...so ima ask my mom if i can goto conwell with kristi tomorrow...i hope she says yes!! cause i wanna meet new people and all the people she's always talking about...hmm it should be funn:):)!! anyways...i just figured out when i was talking to mike today that i really don't like him...his icon is bisexual buddy and he told me that he might be bi and i told him all about me and stacey and he was like thats so cool..and i was like yeaa...and i just realized he really loves justine and i'd never get him anyways...he's wwwwwwwaaaaaaaaayyyyyyy outta my league...so is alfred...but i wanna keep holding on for him cause i know he's something special and worth holding onto and waiting for...i just hope i see him by the end of the summer...that'd be sooo coool...i mean cindy knows how bad i wanna see him...i just don't know why she hasn't asked me to go over her moms with her...prolly cause of the moving of the house and shit...oh well...when my time comes to see alfred, i'll be sooo happy and sooo excitied...i really love him...i just butterflies thinking about him...he's just so special:)
i don't have anything else to write...so ima go i'll write tomorrow or something....lateR
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[16 Apr 2003|03:10pm] |
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mood |
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 bitchy |
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music |
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linkin park-breaking the habit |
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Sorry but I've decided to make my journal Friends Only...But if you wanna be added to my list, comment and I'll add ya...LaTeR!
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| WHOA!! |
[20 Jan 2003|11:21am] |
hey peoples!!this is my first entry like omg!!!i'm so gay...lol...well it is early in the morning for me...i got up at like 9:15 today and i went to bed late too...i dunno whats up with me, but i would like to sleep in on my days that i have off...i'm so bored!!!!my mom is at the doctors and jon is sleeping cause he is weird...but anyways i took this quiz that i put on my on my other journal...take a look-
which eye are you?
brought to you by Quizilla
haha i got the friendly eyes...i'm not that friendly ... sometimes...haha...but take a look at my other journal-
www.ujournal.org/~crazy_about_gc
^^click that^^
thats my other journal its prolly better than this one is right now cause i don't have all the codes you need for this one...so if you have any codes for blurty journals, TELL ME THEM!!!
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rock my socks