The best fucking weekend of my fucking life!   
03:34pm 17/07/2004
mood: cynical
music: um NA
okay I'm gonna start off with yesterday morning. Kacie and I went to Vincennes to sign her up for classes...well everything was going pretty good...we decided to skip the campus tour, so as we sat there this guy, Kenny, comes up and asks for a light. Kacie handed him her lighter and he left...well slowly but surely he came back. It was so obvious he wanted to sit and chat with us. We talked for about 5 minutes before he left. It was sad but hey at least now we know a new person. We then wandered over to Kacie's advisor's building where her advisor almost killed her. Kacie stepped back and stepped on me...she had ahold of the door jam to steady herself and her advisor shut the door on her pinky was funny oh so funny! Well then we met up with some people at home to go junk food shopping....the lock on the back of Kacie's car fell out leaving our junk food complete with milk in the hot trunk....yum yum! The night after that was pretty interesting..but nothing compares to the fact that we were walking in a graveyard at about 4am...Kara and Kacie were sitting on graves stones when Kara fell backward and brought the stone with her. Kacie tried to help kara put it back. Well they dropped it and it smashed the fuck outta kacie's toes...Celena and I didn't witness this we were walking around looking at the stones and talking about how we wondered what had happened to some of the ones who died so young. Well we left because kacie was bleeding and limping. We drove around and were followed by this truck...well the guy in the truck called the police and told them we were vandelizing the stones in the graveyard....WHAT AN ASS! The cops pulled us over and we told the truth...none of us had ID. Smart huh? Kacie was the calmest out of all of us so she showed the cops what happened and they let us go....smooth huh? We were lucky my grams woulda kicked my ass had I gotten arrested...stupid adulthood! Well after that everything was okay UNTIL Kacie was taking me home this afternoon and this Jackass almost rammed us in the side. Well that's my weekend so far stay tuned for what might happen tonight and tomorrow!
Commitment Issues   
10:21pm 01/07/2004
mood: Insightful
music: the Kahlua Commercial Music...cheesy I know
Okay...I am 18 and so far it blows! I mean who came up with this "as you get older things get better you can do more and blah blah blah" I DON'T SEE IT GETTING BETTER! Anyway I've been single pretty much my whole life and I hate it. The few relationships I have had either end because the guy is a jerk or I'm not attracted so I end it. Well I've come to the conclusion I have commitment problems. I was dating this guy last summer/end of the school year. He was so nice to me and we had chemistry. Well stupid me fucked usual. I kinda started something with a friend. I mean it wasn't anything serious we just kissed a couple times and hung out a lot. Well the guy I was waiting on (he was at his mom's over the summer so we decided to wait until he got back to get together) found alternate means...a mutual friend told him before I could. Anyway he was perfect for me because we both had liked each other for a long time and we were close friends. Now I know I was scared of the relationship because it was so...perfect?...too strong of a word maybe. Anyway Once that was over I kinda gave up and dated this guy who was sweet I just wasn't attracted. I liked the idea that he liked me. It's rare that that happens to me. Then I started having feelings for an old flame. THAT WAS A MISTAKE MAJOR! He totally fucked me over. He dated me until someone better caught his eye. He's the one I talked about the first time. Well now I'm about ready to go to college and I'm still the girl everyone likes but no one likes enough to date. And the ones who would be interested either have gf's or live too far away. Why the hell can't I have a summer fling....just one damn moment this summer. Well I know why...I'm too scared to commit because I'm scared to death of rejection. I've been through it all my life and why would anyone want me? I'm the friend or the girl of the moment. I hate them...
Another problem with the guy factor is that I like assholes. I'm attracted to danger. Stupid I know, but I get bored easily and with an exciting guy there's no chance of getting bored but there's MAJOR chance of getting hurt. I still can't help being attracted tho... ~evil lil grin~ plus I'm kinda mean. I grew up around all male siblings. I like to wrestle and act up. I'm good at it. I want a guy who could handle me. ~shrugs~ Plus I just like's fascinating....
well I know this is different from the rest but I felt like bitching about random things....until next time ~gracefully bows~
wow its been awhile...   
11:19pm 29/06/2004
mood: MeAh
music: there are 2 people having sex on TV
for those who missed me I've been quite busy! My 18th Birthday was Saturday. YAY! I shall be going to my first club this friday with my friends.
I have this new thing for researching demons and such...It's fun! I wish I could be a demon...sometimes I wish I wasn't human but then I get hurt trying to fly like superman or something like that. THEN! sometimes I think okay I'm human but I'm evil and I try to get away with things like hurting someone or robbing a bank...damn I can't get away with either of those very well. So maybe I'm just magikal...I could live with that. I wish I was a fairy. They are so pretty...I wish I was...
OMG! I'm getting depressed (bring it down put it in the box)
I thought being 18 would be different but its just as crappy as 17 I'm still alone I'm still depressed and I pretty much still hate everyone....DAMN! I'm such a cynical bitch...I love it :D
Until next time....
11:15pm 29/06/2004


Sexual Prefrences & STD's   
04:10pm 18/06/2004
mood: creative
music: crickets churping because I'm too lazy to put in a cd
Okay this morning/last night (twas way too early to decifer between the two) a friend of mine, who is incredibly horny all the damn time, was trying to get me to cyber with him. I was tired and well to be honest cyber does nothing for me...I mean come on! You are TEXT to me and I am TEXT to you so therefore we are not flesh to one another. Plus well...he doesn't turn me on anymore he's so predictible but I swear he'd probably last for hours upon hours if in fact there was real sex going on. Why is cyber sex so...boring? It's because we're too lazy to go out and make it happen so we settle for the image our imaginations pop out. Personally I enjoy porn...I like it a lot. It's great to make fun of and when you get the right one you can get off. I personally like fucking myself I know what I like :D which is more than I can say for some people. A friend of mine who shall remain nameless was dating this guy a while back and damn he was strange. According to popular demand this guy was seriously lacking...not in the family jewels but in what pleases a woman. READ A DAMN BOOK or better yet ASK HER! Most people think that talking during sex is gross but I think it's either amusing or informative. And when I say talking I dont mean "you want my ass baby?" I mean "a little to the left okay okay there um um okay now um down RIGHT THERE!" that kind of thing. Seriously people if you plan on having sex at least listen to your fuck buddy they know what they like.
Now for another thing about sex...yes size is nice but if you're hung like a horse and completely incompetent then you really have nothing to offer, but if you're hung like a fly but you know how to work it. MORE POWER TO YA! On the other hand if you're hung and you can work me :D lol jk but complicated especially if you have to deal with consequences. First we'll talk about the male "slip". Okay...if I wanted a dick in my ass I'd let you know. Obviously that is a ONE way track its like driving a car up a one way the WRONG way. I dont care if you slipped get it out of there! Another thing...this is just a theory of course but if you have a dick constantly in your ass wouldn't it push your bowel movements upward? I mean it could make you permenately constipated, couldn't it? I mean you just keep pushing it back and back until you have to have an enima...not fun. My dog had to have one of those once, but thats another story.
Another consequence of sex...STD's. My fav of course is the clap...doesn't it just sound fun? I think so. My friend Brandi's ex was talking to her last night and was complaining about his penis hurting. My first thought was "the clap". I told her to ask him if he had stuck his member where it doesn't belong...namely in a flea/crab infested pussy of death. Those will get you every time! I swear those nasty prostitutes dont know how to keep their crabs to themselves. He wasn't even slightly amused by the clap comment. What a meaningless turd he could've at least got upset and riled at me but NO! he'll ignore my statement and go on complaining. So then I asked about crabs...~dream sequence~ Brandi, Candice, & I watched "A Guy Thing" wednesday night. Funny movie. THE GUY GOT CRABS BY SHAKING HANDS WITH THIS NASTY GUY. Warning: NEVER shake hands with someone who doesn't at least look a tiny bit clean and if he/she is scratching their genitals...RUN! As for put some chemicals on your crabs..funny word I always imagine sebastian...from the little mermaid for all you stupidass rejects who dont know your disney movie's ~rolls eyes and mutters~....running around in someone's panting singing "Under the Sea". Amusing I know ~chuckles~. But as for the clap...I heard this somewhere that your penis starts to swell and become very agitated...sounds like someone just needs release ;)...well anyway when you go to the doc I heard they pound your...organ...with a rubber mallet until the infection comes out and then swelling goes down. Painful huh? Poor guys...that should teach you to stick your member in an electrical outlet...ONLY! Learn from your mistakes they ALWAYS teach something...not always good but hey I said something...
Until later my adoring public...~bows~
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"I've been outbreak free for over a year..."   
10:44pm 17/06/2004
mood: mischievous
music: elevator music...ahh the sounds of pain!
MAN dont you hate those herpes commercials and then at the end you hear them say it might not work...DAMN! I get my hopes up for a cure or at least some comfort and then I'm rudely brought back to reality that 1 there is no cure and 2 I dont have therefore my valuable TV time is used up but stupid commericals that dont apply to me. A second ago there was a commercial for Lazuras...WE DON'T EVEN HAVE THAT STORE ANYMORE! damn those out of businessers!
Now for another thing that annoys me...PEOPLE WITH NO! absolutely NO fav site ever is t-shirt hell. Well every month I get a newsletter and all these people write in and say how that site and its tshirts are sick and such...well NEWSFLASH you might be disgusted but I am amused by your petty attempts at getting them to change their ways. Do they ask you to accept them..NO! hell if you dont wanna see their shirts then dont go to the damn site. Meah...stupid people are breeding everywhere and I'm stuck in the middle...its like the stupid people Jamie sandwich. BLAH! Get a damn room! and no I'm not high or drunk...I'm just insanely psychotic right now...isnt it cool! I think so and so does my friend candice she LOVES me like this...she wants me sexy body...whoa scottish accent outta no where. Put it back in the do do!
Until next time....cherio old chap ;)
01:58am 14/06/2004
  well lets see...this is strange. Today my ex asked me why I had stopped talking to him. I lied of course because I didn't want him to know how much he had hurt me. I also didn't want to get pulled back in. He's got this control on me where I'm in this massive black hole, and I just keep coming back to him until I can't get away. I get blinded by him.
A couple days ago a friend of mine had a grad was horrible. She did nothing but make others feel bad. My friend Candice and her new/old love intrest were there...I brought them. The party thrower didnt want Candice and her love intrest to get back together so she went out on a limb and ruined her party as well as breaking up with her bf. Great chick huh? Needless to say our friendship is over I really can't deal with her pettiness anymore. She needs to grow up. But anyway today she was jumping all over Candice again trying to get her to give up her happiness. So much drama that no one needs...stupid people!
As for me I sit and watch and when I'm needed to take someone down to their level I'm brought in...well I'm tired so lol anyone who reads need help :p