Natalie's Journal

Saturday, November 11, 2006


its just different now :-\....really weird....

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Wednesday, November 8, 2006


im not intimidated by what i used to think was "your beauty"...
honestly because i know im better.
i like me.
i dont think its vain to admit it, either.

Current mood: great
Current music: perfect as im ever going to be
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Is your hair up?:

Is your phone right beside you?:
Yes. on the floor

Do you have a bf/ gf?:

Do you wish you were somewhere else?:
at another point in my life, sometimes, but im still trying to take it all in

Do you have plans for tonight?:
hopefully ill study some more, or at all

Are you wearing makeup?:

Are you wearing chapstick?:
yes, as always

Are you cold?:
which is surprising because usually i am freezing in here, what is the world coming to

Are you tired?:
yes, but im a fighter

Are you excited?:
yes i am pumped

Are you watching t.v.?:

Are you wearing pajamas?:

Who's the last person you IMed?:

Who's the last person that called you?


Anything you regret?
no specifics come to mind

Ever lied?:
yes, id lie if i say i hadnt haha

Ever stuck gum under a desk?:
actually, i dont think so on account of usually someone else previously and recently has

Ever spit at someone?:
i cant remember, i know many thoughts/attempts have prob been made haha

Ever kick something living?:
yes :(

Ever had your nails done?:

Ever thrown up because you cried so hard?:
pretty much



Had any plans last week?:
theatre night :D and homecoming GA Tech game

Who did you see most last week?:

Was last week interesting?:
yes....everything in my life is interesting whether i like it or not


Have you cursed?: Yes.
Have you yelled at someone?: no, well, ranted to nothing yelled but not at someone
Have you gotten mad at someone?:yep as always
Have you cried?: no actually, well early this morning
Have you called more than 3 people?: No
Have you IMed more than 3 people?: Not been on AIM.
Have you eaten anything gross?: No....


Q. First thing you did this morning?:
A. Brush my teeth/wash face

Q. Last thing you ate?:
A. gummy bears

Q. What's something you look forward to most in the next 6 weeks?
A. Thanksgivng, Christmas, anxious to see how Christmas plays out (derrick-wise) being done with this semester...

Q. What's annoying you right now?
A. the relationship i care most about is arguing, it kills me

Q. What's the last movie you saw?
A. GOING TO SEE SAW 3 on thurs

Q. Do you believe in long distance relationships?:
A. i believe in anything true, yes

Q Where is the last place you went?:
A. talley (lil dinos)

Q: Who is the last person you called?:
A. voicemail

Q: Ever been cheated on?
A. Yes. :'(

Q: Do you think that someone is thinking about you right now?
A. I hope so.

Q: Choose one to have (love, beauty, creativity):
A. Love...that is the only thing you need. With love comes beauty and creativity.

Q: Do you wish on stars?:
A. shooting ones

Q: Does it work?:
A. No.

Q: Do you untie your shoes every time you take them off:
A. depends on the shoe

Q: When did you last cry?
A. Today.

Q: Do you like your handwriting?
A. sometimes

Q: Are you a friendly person?
A. I try to be

Q: Are you keeping a secret from the world?
A. yes but its okay because im keeping it from myself too

Q: Who's bed did you sleep in last night?
A. Mine

Q: What color shirt are you wearing?
A. olive

Q: Do you have any pets?
A. two puppies

Q: What is the color of your bedsheets?
A. lime and coral

Q: What were you doing at 9 last night?
A. studying

Q: last person you talked to:
A. suzanne

Q: When is the last time you saw your dad?
A. about two weeks ago we went car shopping together

Q: Look to your left:
A. Ok (about mixed it up w/ my right)

Q: Ever cried yourself to sleep?
A. understatement

Q: Ever cried on your friends shoulder?
A. Yes, thank you.

Q: Song that makes you cry?
A. there is

Q: Are you a normally happy person?
A. people would say so

Q: Is your self-esteem low?
A. usually no

Q: What color are your eyes?
A. blue

Q: Long or Short Hair :
A. in between

Q: Current Music?
A. None.

Q: Who was your first prom date?
A: derrick

Q: What is your status?
A: sad

Q: Are you voting tomorrow?
A: no i suck

Q: What was your first job?
A: lifeguarding at CCC (real job) otherwise Fresh as a Daisy Cleaning

Q: What was your first car?

Q: When did you go to your first funeral?
A: not sure the age, young, like great-grandaddy ralph

Q: When was your first kiss?
A: after/end of freshman year

Q: Who was your first grade teacher?
A: Mrs. Jordan

Q: Where did you go on your first ride on an airplane?
A: FLA i think DISNEY LAND :)

Q: When you snuck out of your house for the first time, who was it with?
A: my house, suzanne, for real, alison hahaha

Q: Where was your first sleepover?
A: Probably my house or Lanes

Q: Who is the first person you talk to in the morning?
A: No one (wow thats depressing to say outloud haha) im not a morning person

Q: Whose wedding were you in the first time?
A: My aunts (flower girl)

Q: What is the first thing you do in the morning?
A: get out of bed after laying for a sufficient amount of time

Q: What was the first concert you ever went to?
A: blink 182 (real concert)

Q: First tattoo or piercing?
A:ears after freshman year

Q: First celebrity crush?
A: Jonathan Taylor Thomas or Leonardo DiCaprio. (wow erin, creepy)

Q: First crush??
A: taylor shelton, hes going to be famous, seriously

Q: First Love?

Q: When was your first detention?
A:i never had detention

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Tuesday, November 7, 2006


BigBlaz84 (10:59:44 AM): love you ace, hope your day is amazing
“BigBlaz84” signed off at 10:59:47 AM.

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12:25PM - whoa

But with nobody in your bed,

The night's hard to get through.


Current mood: bitter
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Monday, November 6, 2006


how about i stop caring and you compensate

see how it works out for you

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3:01PM - no more games, this is it-to put it bluntly

im screaming at the top of my lungs and still cant seem to get your attention so heres what im thinking
you lie to me and im only a safe bet for you
the truth is you want more
if it were any other way i wouldnt have to play 3rd and 4th place to everyone elseee
i thought that this 350934854 million go around things wouldnt be the same but all signs continue to point to the fact that you dont want to make me a priority
i have a sneaking suspicion that after november, you will be with someone, whose not me
appearing to be happy whether you actually are or not, only time will tell
and i will still be pretending that im going to be okay
so all of that effort im not seeing, make it known as in make it obvious or let me know so i can stop killing myself for you and killing myself over you

Current mood: aggravated
Current music: all i hear anymore are empty words and heartless lies
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2:11AM - genious

I want a love
I want a fire
To feel the burn
My desires
I want a man by my side
Not a boy who runs and hides
Are you going to fight for me
Die for me
Live and breathe for me
Do you care for me
Cause if you don't then just leave

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Friday, November 3, 2006

11:38PM - goodfriends=goodmessages

BBGrand423 (6:43:42 PM): dont worry about it i day went awesome and i hope that yours went well 2. i just looked at your away message and u need to change it 2 :-D. just a litte FYI my good friend exavier just called me and we decided that his aunt natty is the BESTEST in the world and your better than big bird and elmo combined. (thats a pretty big compliment) hope everything is alright and if u need me for anything u know where im at.

RavishingReyn (9:53:17 PM): Nat, i know you are going through a rough time, but i want you to know that even though things will go wrong and change: Hebrews 13:8 "Jesus Christ is the same yesterday, today, and forever.."

Loooove you

Current mood: i suppose
Current music: spy-like music from a flannyflic
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Thursday, November 2, 2006


stop trying to hurt everybody
why is it so satisfying
i know what its like to be on the recieving end so please just stop
i hate being hurt, not that anyone necessarily loves getting hurt
but im sick of it and cant stop it
you can
so do it
be the better half
imprint the footsteps

Current mood: pissed off
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6:59PM - derrick

i like that you pick away all the jello because you know i secretly want the mandarin orange and i like that you joke about my loofah but would think twice before actually acting on one of those notions and i like that you are the only person who gets the door for me besides my daddy (you two are the only ones ive really let do that though) and i like that you know my tickle spots and i like that you annoy me until its funny, although i am not kidding and really am really annoyed and i especailly like that when you are annoyed that my mom can hold you up longer than i can (its a gift) but you are still polite and probably get something out of the conversation although you wouldnt admit it

Current mood: frozen pizza
Current music: memories
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nice tact

Current mood: disappointed
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short lilved high


Current mood: frustrated
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Wednesday, November 1, 2006

1:18PM - words to live by

"im sure if you met bin ladden, hed be 'nice'"

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1:14PM - be upfront

if you want to be something with someone else i need to know because the very second that i find out otherwise, and everyone knows the truth will somehow get around to me, then everything will stand for will crumble down into nothing

so beat the inevitable and be the one to do something FRIST for once

just wanted to put that out there

Current mood: ivegotabadfeelingaboutthis
Current music: i swear to God if you hurt me i will leap
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guilty pleasure: i like hinder (well their radio songs at least)

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Tuesday, October 31, 2006


i laughed the hardest i have in a lloooonnnngg time tonight

it was really nice.

Current mood: good
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Monday, October 30, 2006


what is going on...

Current music: honestly
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Friday, October 27, 2006

1:38AM - just admit it

honestly do you try to see how upset i can be RIGHT before i go to bed

be honest with yourself.

Current mood: discontent
Current music: all of the above
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Thursday, October 26, 2006


just smile


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