this darkness is gnawing at me. this emptiness is sleepy. don't know if it's just stress/exhaustion or mild depression? i just feel like i don't really want to do anything. i'm not exactly down, or like giving up or anything. i just feel a very permeatig sadness. perhaps it's just loneliness. perhaps i'm being selfish. i'd rather be happy. and if i'm being selfish, i don't know what i'm being selfish about...not having true friends?
sometimes i wish i could be friends with normal people. whatever that means. i want to flirt, i want to go around, i want to hang out. and i feel i can't do that - because i'm responsible for all these youth - spiritually and morally. and i feel to even connect with them is very hard.
it's like i wanna sleep, but i don't want to. i want to hang with friends.
i want....i don't know what i want....but i'm not feeling happy...lol
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