*¤*Lynz*¤*'s Journal

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Friday, December 5, 2003

Sunday, May 4, 2003

6:13PM - nothing much..

Nothing too interesting to talk about now..I just went tanning for about an hour..well not an actual tanning bed or anything nope I went tanning in my back yard..didnt get too much sun but hey what can ya do it's only my first time tanning..:S..lol but I have started to eat alot better I had an apple an the some glasses of milk..I dont really think that my Momma wants me to run in the mornings thou..so maybe I wont I will just stretch and stuff in the morning so thats aiight..just so that Im up ya know its all good..but ya I think that maybe if Imma gunna change my life around that maybe I shouldnt drink or anything like that because I just might change my mind ya know what I mean..but ya have to have fun ya know!! lol but I dunno I havent a clue about who my real friends are..:S..I have alot of friends but you know what I dont really think that I have a certian group of friends that I chill with..:S..but hey its all good..talk at-ca lata!!

Current mood: refreshed

Current music: 21 questions- 50 cent

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3:43PM - hehe

Well Im starting to pull everything together because Im going to start eating better and exercising. Also Imma get a job and then start to go tanning and dye my hair a diff colour so it can grow out AND Imma get a perm..well just so's my hairs a little curly..and even a leh wax..oh yes and the dreded bikini wax..:S..lol..yes..its all going to work out..:D..haha but I have to also get my resume all worked out because the ony thing that I do basically is cook dinner sometimes and baby-sit and I honestly dont know how Im going to get a job with that lol but hey its all good I mean I can work at the dairy queen..that would work out..or theres blockbuster or something in the plaza thats right near me..well actually theres like 3 different ones that are near me..they have everything lol and it's only a 5 minute walk if that..yes its all going to work out..but hey its not going to be right now..I just think that I would like to have more $$ for myself and I live in a single parent house cause my gay ass Dad left so its hard on my Mom and everything so I fgure that its all going to work out because I wont be bothering her about $$ anymore and everything..yup yup..well..lata

Current mood: accomplished

Current music: mesmerized- Ja Rule and Ashanti

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Saturday, May 3, 2003

11:08PM - Nothing to talk bout

Well nothing too much is going on here..I had to spend the weekend at my Mom's friends house..so..:S..lol but hey its all good..yea Im still thinking about what kind of tatoo that Im going to get..Im thinking about maybe a little froggy or something like that..maybe a turtle on it's back would be cute..theres so many things to think about!! But my Mom just got one done..well started she has this heart thing on her breast and she said it hurt alot and she ended throwing up..so I dunno..lol..I get mine next year and on my ass so hey..it's all good..I might even get it on the front..you know that little spot where your bikini would cover..I dunno cause I have this freckle there that I think looks nice and everything..Im just trying to think..I think that I might actually cry when I get it lol but hey its all good right..:D..well Im out tired and bored outta my mind..catch ya on the flip side lmao..

Current mood: tired

Current music: Give up the grudge- Gob

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Wednesday, April 30, 2003

9:20PM - Bored as usual

You know I think living on the other side of town is a great disadvantage..:S..but hey at least next year my walk won't be too far..:S..ugh..James apparently isn't mad at me anymore at all but he try's to put me into the conversation but I just can't..because I know that it's just going to happen all over again..:S..I dunno I havent a clue about what to do because I seriously like this kid..ALOT..and I don't know what to do about it because I know that we probably won't be going out at all..ever..but you can dream right..:(..I don't know what I'm going to do..cause I know he likes someone now and I dont think that I could bear seeing him go out with someone else..and I dont know it's so hard cause Ive liked him forever and alot of the girls think that whoever could like him now or start liking him would be krazee..but I honestly cannot help it..that kind of guy appeals to me the ones that are assholes the hardcore types..of course I love the sweet hearts too I went out with one for 8 months..that was a wonderful time..:D..I love ya Mark hun!! But ya..I dunno I like him so much yet I know that nothing will ever happen and if it does that Imma be told that it's the stupidest mistake that I could ever make..but it's not like Im just going to go out with any guy or him just because he asks..I have to really like the guy and he has to show me something that I should like in him..like he has to try some..before all this happened it would have been perfect for us..I mean I smashed my elbow so he carried my books to my next class and was late for his..thats why people all thought that we were going out and everything..it was nice..maybe thats what scared him away..because we were asked that alot of times..which probably wasnt very good..damn Elisha..but yea well gots ta bounce lata!!

Current mood: energetic

Current music: Like Glue- Sean de Paul

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Monday, April 28, 2003

9:00PM - Yup..what a day..

So ya today was a nice day..we dont have to wear sweaters in our school uniform anymore so thats good..to bad I dont have a plain white blouse or an embroidered one with the school logo..:S..all of mine have them from the last school that I went to..:(..God I miss all them..but hey what can you do..yea James didnt talk to me at all lol we were around eachother the whole day and look what happens NOTHING..I kinda wish we could be friends again cause I miss him..I wonder if he misses me..:S..probably not he has lots of other people..but hey what can ya do..ya Im kinda liking this guy named Kevin..but the thing is..is that I KNOW he likes Ala and she likes him..but the thing is..is that shes moving in the summer to Barrie..yes it does sound familiar lol..I would laugh so hard if she moved back lol..but yea so its like go out..but dont because your moving..then Matt and Lynsey are probably going to hook up..aww Im so happy for them but then I think..why not me..:(..I wish I had someone that liked me and I could have an awesome new relationship..man I need some ass..lol..no a lot of people say I should go out with Mark again and I do like him..but I know that he probably wouldnt go for me anymore..because of the age thing and he got alot of grief when we went out before..but hey..:(..I dunno..well Im off Im tired..lata..**Sweet Dreams**

Current mood: tired

Current music: Dirrty- Christina Agularia

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Sunday, April 27, 2003

3:25PM - so yea..

Well I still do not know how good of friends I am with Melissa or Jodi anymore..for some reason I think they are relcutant because of the fact that James hates me and doesnt want them to talk to me or anything..he doesnt want anyone too..but alas Julian because he kicks ass talks to me and Matt does too..Kevin doesnt know me well enough to be nice and shit..but hes okay..I dont think James hates me all that much anymore..because he took my name off of the "Most Hated People" In his profile..so thats a plus..he likes someone now..I wonder who it is..probably like Jodi or someone like that..I hope that he finally gets a girlfriend that he really likes..and doesnt make fun of after..if..they break up..but yes I do suppose that I havent fully gotten over him..even after all this shit that has happened..as funny as it is..he's an extremly hard person to get over..I doesnt seem that way when you dont have any feelings for him at all..but it is..my friend Denise says its because he still flirts with you..he does..well at least with me..we did alot everyone said we did lol people even thought that we were going out..but really we were just good friends..and in a way Im kinda glad that we didnt go out..I wonder what would have happened if we did..I mean I dont know if I could have..knowing that Melissa liked him too..but she did knowing that I liked him..and now that they have broken up I still dont think I could because I know she still likes him..also because of what he did to her..but I think..that just maybe my feelings just might get the best of me..:S..but hey what can ya do..well I better be going now lata dayz..

Current mood: thoughtful

Current music: Footloose- By the movie lol

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Friday, April 25, 2003

6:22PM - Its aiight I guess..

Yea today was better than yesterday..James didnt say anything too me..but Melissa and Jodi are talking to me..well kinda..only when James isnt around cause you know he might do the same thing to them as he did to me..I mean you know what he said!! He said to Melissa "I shouldnt even be talking to you because your talking to Lynzi" I mean seriously omfg :@..what a kid!! But alas I still love dat kid not love love but ya know what I mean..seriously though I want to teach him a lesson..but hey what can I do seriously I know that the guys probably wont go along with it..I know most..well pratically ALL of the girls would..maybe not Jodi or Melissa..I dunno..I dont want to be the one that plans it cause you know what he was a really good friend..people have been telling me that it just doesnt seem right me and James not being friends or anything..cause I mean usually where one was you would find the other..but hey..what can ya do I cant MAKE him like me or anything..someone actually said..hey he's not your friend anymore..why dont you go out with him?? lol..I couldnt because of the breakup him and Melissa had..it just wouldnt seem right..plus I hear he's actually pretty fridged hasnt let a girl near his dick..lol..or as he would say he's a 'coldfish' lol..aww..I miss him a lot..seriously if I ever find out who fucked with his email they are going to fucking die!! Seriously they fucked with not only him but ME TOO and NO ONE fucks with me and my friends..well I have a headache..:S..so Imma go now..plus Imma watch drumline soon looks like a good movie..oOoOoOo and I really wanna see Identity cause I love dem scary movies..best to watch wit ur bo!!..

Current mood: blank

Current music: Sing For The Moment- Eminem

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Thursday, April 24, 2003

9:08PM - Embarrased much

Oh man yes people Im so embarrased..:S..my Mom called James' dad and she also called Melissa..I havent a clue on whats going to happen tomorrow because James is now grounded because of my Mom..:S..geeze now I REALLY dont want to go to school tomorrow..oh man Im praying that he doesnt tell anyone!! Thats going to be MAJOR embarrasing..:S..oh man thou ugh and now Ala's asking all about everything..and everything like that..I really think that she did that..:S..oh man thou James' Dad is going to make James apologize to me..UGH..I REALLY hope that he doesnt say something about "Oh ya Lindsay, my Dad wanted me to say Im sorri" oh man I really dont want to go to school tomorrow..oh man..seriously this is so gay I cannot fucking believe that my MOM called..SHIT this basically ruins my whole life!! Well Im off lata wish me luck for tomorrow..FUCK lol

Current mood: embarrassed

Current music: ABC- Jackson Five

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3:32PM - what a horrible day..

Seriously Im thinking that I might be sucidal..thats not too good..but hey people are these days I know my sister is..:S..yes its offical I havent had a Dad for a whole year now..wow thats some real exciting news isnt it..:S..yea see you know the whole James thing how I said I wouldnt spend another minute of my life on him after all the shits that happened..well..I guess I kinda cant anymore..like no one even talks to me anymore because he made them all believe that I fucked up his email..so now not even Jodi and Melissa are my friends..well they probably secretly want to be secret friends fuck that..you wanna be my friend then Im going to let people know..I mean sure I have other people that are my friends..but you know what I really liked James and all them..they were fun..but I guess thats all over now because some bitch not only fucked up James email..but the bitch fucked up my life too..If I EVER find out who did this then they are seriously DEAD MEAT..because I lost some really good friends over this..even though you could always say..if they were really your friends they would have believed you in the first place..but hey this is keswick the blame has to be shoved on someone..

Current mood: crushed

Current music: All my Life- KC and JoJo

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Wednesday, April 23, 2003

11:40AM - yup yup

Yea no school today cause I had a docs appointment today and didnt feel like going back..haha..yup Im talking to my friend Brett online right now he's home too..haha I convinced my Mom into letting me get a tatoo when Im 16 lol next year!! lol Imma get something where you cant see it if I'm wearing a bikini cause my Nana would flip lol and ya know, I dont want that happening lol I would never here the end of it!! But thats alright haha I can show all da guys ;);) lol I mite get it like on my ass that would be cool lol!! I dont know though..hmm..lol..I'll have to think about it..I have a whole year!! lol Everyone in my school is too chicken to even ask their parents I <3 my Mom she lets me drink..no drugs but thats ok cause there gay..and Imma get a tatoo lol yes!! Sorri yes I am really excited :):)..but yea I am so bored right now, Im supposed to be doing some homework from last night but I really dont feel like it..meh its like what 11:45 or something like that..my Mom gets home at like 5:30 lol so I have lots of time it's only science and french my two worst hated subjects lol..but thats ok its all good..you know what I think that my school needs a dance its too strict too ya know it needs to lighten up relax!! But hey whatca gunna do, you cant change the minds of old farts lol well im off lata

Current mood: bouncy

Current music: I'd do anything- Simple Plan

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Tuesday, April 22, 2003

8:57PM - crazy

Oh man what a day seriously..that kid James well lets just say Im not wasting another minute of my life on him what a loser he needs to get a life because the only girls he is friends with is the ones that like beg him to still be friends with him..:S..sorri but Im not like that..I just hope Jodi and Melissa still wanna be my friend while all this shit is going on with James..he says that he dont want to be friends with me at all anymore..what an awesom friendship to lose..:(..all I ever did was love him but thats alright thats good..there will be others right..oh man..but anyways..you know what..I notice that when I tell someone who I like and they are single I end up setting them up with the person that I like GEEZE lol..yea I need to start thinking about myself!! lol But yes oh man I took 15 advils then I chickened out and had something to eat..but yea :S man oh man what am I going to do!! Im such an idoit!! But hey its all good I know people love me yes I know you all do..lol my Mom thinks that what James did today is the only that James ever did HA thats SO NOT the case..but thats aiight she like wanted to call him and I was like FUCK NO lol I can fight my own fights I aint no Bernadette..lol..yes an inside joke all you are on the outside lol but alas Im off and Im pissed and ya :S:S

Current mood: bitchy

Current music: All My Life-KC and JoJo

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3:34PM - :@ Some people get me so mad

Okay you know that jerk James!! Well I dont think that I will ever like him even just a little bit and only as a friend or even in ANYWAY EVER AGAIN!! That kid err he gets me SOO mad!! He wants ME to apologize for something that I DIDNT do..fuck that..I slapped him again..rite in the mouth actually..and I dont regret it at all..that kid seriously doesnt he get it..I have NEVER done ANYTHING to him the only thing that I ever did was save him from killing himself and like him..whenever someone says something to make him look really mean in front of his friends he says something about what his dad did..apparently his dad treats him like shit..at least he has one..he always trys to make people feel bad for what him and then he treats them like shit..k I like want to cry because I miss all of my friends from the big A and I wish I could live there instead of here because with James here it makes like completely shitty seriously..and then he gets the guys to agree with him and everything!! He wrecked every chance I had with this group of guys..and their the kind of guys that you WANT to go out with because they respect you and everything..it gets me so mad..so far my day is horrible and there is nothing that anyone can do to make it better..I get grieve at home and at school EVERYDAY for just trying to do something good..and yet everyday I put a happy face on and pretend like nothing is wrong..Ive never been so angry as I have these last few days..I feel like Im going to blow up!! I just want to have a good night!! But no I cant because I have to wash the dishes fold laundry and start dinner while my sister sits on her fat ass and watched tv..then I get blamed for doing something wrong!! Only because we have to be nice to my sister because she said she was going to kill herself!! Arg last semester I wanted to kill myself with stupid Mario!! but I didnt do anything and my sister even knew and didnt say anything to anyone even though a good one would have!! Arg I just want to like do it and be like "Ha see I can do this too" but I know that I could never truly go through with that because I want to experience things in life and everything..it just gets so frustratin sometimes..and I just want to cry and get it all out..but I never can because then my Mom will think I need counelouing or something..but I dont want to talk to anyone about my problems its none of their buisness..arg..so alas everytime Im in the shower I cry because it washes the tears away..and no one can hear me..

Current mood: enraged

Current music: Crazy-KC and JoJo

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Monday, April 21, 2003

9:37PM - haha

Yes its all good now, I got my Mumsie to fix the computer and now Im on it again tonight, Im watching Erin Brockevich and it's a pretty good movie..real intense just like the other movie she did the Pelican Brief..lol..if you notice that when she's upset or something theirs like a vein in her forehead that shows..I think one day that it is going to pop lol..aww Im talkin to ma good frien Luke he's a sweet<3..ya gotta love him..yea I just got off the phone with my Auntie Diana shes my fav aunt lol she lives in Calgary..shes talking to my Mom now about me and my sis geeze my Mom doesnt keep anything from anyone..and my sister well lets not get started there she is SOOO annoying my Mom never punishes her!! lol But then again I shouldnt talk..oOoOo lets see how the leafs are doing against philly..well they are into over time..maybe this time the leafs will win..I love that team!! Tie Domi is ma man lol..yea I guess you could say that I got this whole thing from my Dad the stupid bastard he ran away from everything and the dick thinks I still love him HA ya RIGHT..and some day pigs will fly!! lol But I love my Mom shes the coolest she lets me drink and shit, and thats all good. So lets see whos dirrty are you?? lol Im not..lol people think that because I only lived in the big A..some people who are there are dirrty but thats okay I love them all the time!! Well yes now I am off Im tired and need to shower lol but yes so sweetest dreams my little prettys lol lata!!

Current mood: ditzy

Current music: Dont Mess With My Man-Nivea

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8:00PM - Yup yup its all good

Yes Im talking to Melissa on the phone and I just screwed up my computer and I'll probably be grounded off the computer for like ever so I'll be online tomorrow..but yes its all good..oh man!! James is an asshole and I wanna punch him in the face because he is gay..he wrecks everything up!! He always trys to make everyone feel sorri for him so that he can go and make fun of you and others and you cant feel bad!! Arg!! Im soOoOo mad at him..but thats aiight tomorrow I will end up talking to him yet again..yummy I love easter lots of candy and chocolate so thats all good..melissa is the best person to talk on the phone with cause you always hear her fighting with her Mom its hilarious to listen too!! But ya..I used to like this guy named Matt..but he didnt like me but thats aiight then James made everything awkward but now its all good..then my friend Ala is going into everyones emails and pretending to be them..ugh thats so old get over yourself and just go out with Kevin you two were like meant to be together..you say hes an ass but you know what as I said before you ARE meant for eachother hint hint nudge nudge..ugh I hate people who think so much of themselves!! People who are posers deserve a REAL LIFE ass kicking because I hate fakes be who you are..but yea..I hate it when people think Imma skank or slut or anything just because everyone here has gone as far as a kiss but hey its all good..just be yourself thats what I always do..but even then there is always someone to put you down..your too skinny eat more ya know the usual..yes face it people I am NOT aneoreix or belimic I eat more than you probably..I wasnt born with the usual amount of fat cells as everyone else and then I have an extremly fast motabolism sorri dont be jealous yes I am made this way this is me now deal with it..

Current mood: amused

Current music: Get Busy-Sean de Paul

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7:03PM - yes blah

Yea just chatting to people on the computer waiting for when my friend is supposed to call. This is the time when we usually complain about how James is so rude sometimes, ya just wanna slap that kid, but hey yes we love him just the same. I'm supposed to have a party no parents just kids smirnoff ice and bacardi but the guys are gay and dont want to come, oh well more for me and Melissa!! After that we'll probably cruise the town ya drunk and walking around town is always fun you never know who you'll run into. I miss my bff Jax tons and I miss the big A tons too!! Lex is the best she's awesome seriously you have to meet this girl!! And who could forget Eric what a kid. Robert reminds me of him a lot both are super tall!! But of course other than that their completely different. Yes I like 50 cent I think he's hot!! He's a hardcore rapper eh Julian ;)..yes right not Im just chillin what an uninteresting day I had to finish a 25 page english novel study :S not to mention a science lab..I hate science and Mr. Faria can suck his dick for all I care..some people need to get a life coughjamescough and maybe some other guys I know but hey too many to mention seriously I think all the guys have pickles up there *** cause nothings good enough for them..but yes this is me..

Current mood: blah

Current music: What Happened To Dat Boy-Birdman

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