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Lydia Balsamo

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Untitled [21 Aug 2003|02:28pm]
[ mood | angry ]

Justin and I got into a fight. Those who needed to know the details got them already. I'm shocked and a lil devastated. I dont know whats happening right now. He wasnts to see other people from what I gathered. But he also says that he loves me and that hes not ready to be in such a serious commited relationship. I personally think that hes doing this because he's afraid that I will do to him what SHE did to him, and I'm not like that, I'm not like her at all. I think if hes given time alone, he'll understand that I'm not that and he'll realize that he and I were meant to be together.

He's with Cameron now, I hear that they've been at it for a while. I saw it in the papers but of course being the girlfriend, I didn't believe it. In a way, I still don't. I know that this is just a fling for him, he'll realize he misses me and come home. If he doesn't, its his lost and someone else will want me.

I decided to go out and do a lil partying of my own last night. If he can go out, I can too. I met up with Colin at Suite 16 and we talked and drank and danced a lil bit. He thinks Justin's stupid for even considering letting me go. Colin said that if I needed him to, he'd help me clean up the pieces and start over. Colin really is a good guy. He and I did kiss last night, but that was it. He didn't want to take advantage of me. And I respect him for that. I'll have to give him a call later.

Lyds*

Comments: Comments.

First Union Center Philadelphia, PA [07 Aug 2003|04:35pm]
[ mood | good ]
[ music | Tangled-Maroon 5 ]

I'm in Philly. Justin has the day off so we're hanging out. 2morrow afternoon we might go see SWAT. I saw it at the premiere but Justin hasnt so that'll be something we can do together. Aww, I love together activities LoL. I've been helping where I can backstage and behind the scenes. Calling ahead to check up on his appointments, making sure he has everything when he's supposed to have it. Most of the time I just hang out with Justin, Teeny and the dancers and crew. It's been real nice but I'll be glad once this tour starts to wind down so we can go back to California.

From what I've heard, Justin will be getting back into the studio with the N'SYNC guys. Yeah..not too thrilled about that since I'm a backstreet boys fan but, I can't knock the thing that made Tonto famous and if he wasn't famous i wouldn't have met him. I'm a believer in faith, fate and Destiny...sue me. I'm a romantic. I love the idea of being in love...though Justin doesn't know that I love him yet. I plan on telling him soon though. I'm waiting on the timing, ya know?

Anyways, thats my update. TTYS,
Lyds*

Oh yeah!
Justin, amy and I went to see Maroon 5 play live last week when we were in LA..it was great! I'm like in love with that group now. If u dont have the CD yet..GO GET IT!! LoL.

Comments: Comments.

S.W.A.T Premiere [01 Aug 2003|03:32pm]
[ mood | happy ]
[ music | Harder to Breathe- Maroon 5 ]

Last Night Amy and I went to the World Premiere of SWAT in Hollywood California. Lemme tell ya'll it was alot of fun. I brought my dress days ago and I talked to Colin (Farrell) a few days ago about wanting to meet him sometime at the showing. I had planned to add another picture to my Celebrity "Smooch Book"..its pics of me getting a smooch from celebs. I was really looking foward to getting a smooch from mr Farrell. So Wednesday night I went to bed at 11:00 and got up yesterday at 1:00 in the afternoon to make sure i was well rested. I cleaned up around the house, ran some errands, did some window shopping and then I headed home to get dressed.

I showered and threw my robe on and walked around in it until it was almodt time to go. I did my hair in the bathroom and then threw my dress and all my accessories on. I only had a necklace, watch and a small purse..no biggie. Amy came over and then i threw my dress on.

Oh lemme show ya'll my dress:



isn't it the most gorgeous thing ever? And it was relatively cheap. I think it was like $200 something which is great.

Anyways, so we get to the premiere and we get to walk the red carpet since ppl seem to know that i'm "Justin's Girlfriend" I got some special treatment for that. LoL like i minded. So we go in and find seats and watch the movie, which was very good. Gotta love a good action movie..loved it. After the movie we went to the after party. I just kinda walked around and talked to the ppl I knew through Justin. Then I ran into Colin.

"Colin?" "Yes." "I'm Lydia, we spoke on the phone." "Ah yes, Lydia. Nice to finally meet you." "Likewise." He gave me a look over and smiled. "I really enjoyed the movie. You pick out great scripts for yourself." "Yeah, I've been pretty lucky." "Indeed. You wanna go sit down, talk..have a drink?" "Absolutely." So we got some drinks and went and sat in a corner booth and talked for a little bit. We were interrupted a few times by people concratulating him on the movie. We talked about a few different random things.

He's a really nice guy when you get him away from the lights and the media. So we're sitting there having our drinks..drink in the singular form for me though, and we're laughing. "Listen. I'm making this scrapbook that consists of pictures of me kissing celebrities and I wanted to know if u wanted to take part in it?" He looked at me for a moment and laughed "U want me to kiss you on camera so u can put it in a photobook?" "uh-huh." "Abso-fuckin-lutely. Lemme find someone to take the picture." "Ok." So he calls someone over and they take my camera and I'm sitting there fixing my hair and trying to look good for the shot. "You don't have to do that, ya look good." I smiled and looked at the person holding my camera. "Whenever ya'll are ready guys." "Ok." So I looked over at him and looked at me. He grabs my hand pulls me into him and lays this kiss on me and i see the flash go off and the camera person puts the camera down and walks off and Colin's still got me in his grasp. Thena after a few more seconds he lemme go. "Will that do it?" "Yeah, that'll definitely do it. Thank you." "no thank U."

We wound up talking some more and we when to the hotel he was staying in...just to hang out. We talked some more and watched some tv. He took off his suit coat and threw it on the table. I had my shoes off and was sitting on the bed. "you think u could give me a copy of that picture when you get them developed?" "Sure, if u really really want one." "Yeah, I do." "Ok, no problem. And how am I supposed to get it to you?" "Call me and we'll discuss the details..hopefully I'll still be here." "Yeah." So he gave me his number and i put it in my cell.

We sat and told really stupid stories and jokes. He's got a great accent which i was drawn to almost immediately. i told him that and complemented him on the way he kisses. "I gotta admit, your approach caught me off guard." "Thats what i was looking for. You're a pretty good kisser yourself." "Whatever" "What?" "I'm not "pretty good"..I've been told I was the best by guys before." "Are we getting cocky now?" "Maybe..a little bit. But thats allowed though, right?" "Right. But then again if thats been said, you have to be able to back it up." "I can back up everything i say." "that so?" "damn right it is." "Well, bring it then." "Fine." So there we were, kissing on Colin's bed. Then I broke away. "I can't." "Aww damn. Why not?" "I have a boyfriend" "What a pity. Do you love him?" "I care about him..alot." "Do i know him" "You've kissed his ex before." "Ah. That Justin fellow." "Yeah, Justin. I'm sorry. Otherwise if i wasnt taken, I totally would do it..you. I mean, i'd totally want to continue this with you." "::laughs:: I'm sure of it." "I should probably go. But thanks again for the picture." "No problem. Give me a call when you get them developed. We'll get together, do lunch." "Ok...goodnight." "Night."

I went to leave and then he opened his door again. "Are you tired?" "No. Are you?" "No." "I have a car, wanna go for a ride?" "Sure." So we took a taxi back to my place and I grabbed my keys and we went out driving. It was fun. We drove all over the place. It was late so things were closing up. The traffic on the streets started to thin out a little bit and it was easy to get around town. We listened to music and told more stories. Apparently I give off that "i can tell you anything" vibe lol.

After hours of doing that, we were able to find a place to have breakfast. So we split this HUGE plate of stacked pancakes, eggs, bacon and sausage. I drank him under the table with orange juice, lol..hes a class act.

After breakfast, i drove him back to the hotel walked him to his room, gave him a hug and my cell number and we called it a night...day.

And THAT was my evening lol.


Tell me thats not yummy and I'll think u're lying. ::winks::

Comments: 1 comment -:- Comments.

Auburn Hills MI [25 Jul 2003|09:19pm]
[ mood | happy ]
[ music | Can't Hold Us Down- Teeny ]

It took me a lil while, but I'm here. "HERE" is Auburn Hills MI. I had Ames drive me to the airport so that I could fly out to see Justin. I can't help myself when it comes to him. I'm like magnetically drawn to that boy. So after the plane trip over i had to take a 20 min cab right to the venue then I had to sit outside the venue for another 30mins explaining that I knew Justin. Then I had to tell them to get "B", the head security guy. So they got him and he confirmed that Justin knew me. Then they went on and on apologizing me. I was just like "its ok."

So B took my back to Justin's dressing room, but he wasnt there yet. He wad out doing the "Pop Star" stuff. So I just sat in the room all by myself, drinking up Justin's drinks and eating some of the candy on the table. That has to be one of the best things in the world, being able to ask venues to leave out certain foods for you in your dressing room..thats kickass..and POWER.

So anyways, I'm waiting there and I hear footsteps, lots of them, in the hallway. I sit up straight, fix my hair and clothes and wait. The door opens and in walks Justin, he doesn't even see me at first.

"Justin." He turns around and walks over to me. "What are you doing here?" "I missed you." "Aw, I missed you too hun." Then he wrapped his arms around me and gave me this HUGE hug. He smelled so good, just like a boy. I love the way boys smell ::sigh:: He held onto me for a good 2mins. It was silent but 2mins of yummy smelling, skin on contact silence. I could feel his breath on my shoulder and I could hear his heart beating, it was so nice. If i was to die today, I'd want to die in that exact pose.

So we sat on the couch and talked for a lil bit. Then Teeny stopped in and we talked. She's too funny. She gets so hyper those few hours before showtime. So she's talking like a mile a minute, which i what i do, but on a regular basis ::laughs:: Teeny dragged me over to her dressing room and showed me all her clothes. She's got some out there threads to wear during the show..but i totally love it. I gotta get Ames and Teeny together and go shopping once the tour's all over. That'll be alot of fun ::smiles::

After checking out her clothes, I went back to Justin's room where he was in the middle of doing some situps. I got down on the floor and kneeled on his feet. "Gonna be my spotter for a lil bit?" "Sure why not? I like the view from here anyways ::winks::" "Well then you'll REALLY like the view you're gonna get in a few seconds." He did a few more situps and got up. "Lay down on the floor." "Oh...k" So I laid on the floor. He stepped over me and then dropped to the floor in pushup position, right over me. He started doing his pushups and looked into my eyes and started counting them off. I dont think I've ever wanted him more than at that moment. He looked so good, locking eyes with me, sweating, talking....::swoon:: On his last few pushups he go down to where he was just touching me, and he'd stay there for a few seconds, then go back up.

"Why are you doing this?" "Doing what?" "That. it's not fair to tease me when there's nothing I can do about it." "Why can't you do anything about it?" "Because you have to go onstage soon." He looked at his watch and got up. "Shit. Well that sucks." "Yeah, I know. Your timing sucks a lot of ass ::laughs::" "Keep laughing I'm gonna smack that ass." "Do it." "Really?" "Mmm-hmm" I turned around. He blew on his hand and smacked me on the ass..really hard. "Ow! Tonto!" "I'm sorry!" "It's ok, I liked it ::winks::" "Shiiit; we're gonna see how much you like it once we get back to the hotel." I laughed. "How long are you gonna be here with me?" "As long as you want me to be." "Really?" "Yup." "Uh...can you stay 2 weeks?" "Yup." "3 weeks?" "Mmm-hmm" "Forever?" "You're not gonna be touring forever." "I know. But would u really stay with me until the tour's over?" "If you wanted me to." "No..I couldn't ask you to do that. That'd be unfair and selfish of me, wanting you all to myself." "But i want you to want me all to yourself..as long as it doesn't border on homicidal obsession" "Homicidal Obession eh?" "Mmm-hmm." "C'mere." he has the softest lips i've ever had the pleasure of kissing. I love them Mmm Mmm Good. So we sat on the couch and he held me and we talked while Teeny was on stage. Then he had to go on and I sat backstage and watched. Those fans are getting the best show..its such a good show ya'll.

After the show, we went back to the hotel so he could shower and change. We went out for dinner, came back to the hotel and fell asleep watching TV.


Right now hes on stage. His set should be done within the next 30mins or so. After the show we're going to be on our way to Ohio for his next show. Sleeping on the bus...that'll be fun. We get the bus to ourselves though so thats always nice. ::smiles::

I'm gonna go listen to the rest of the show

TTYS,
Lyds*

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Gone [23 Jul 2003|08:37pm]
[ mood | sad ]
[ music | "Take it From Here"- Mah Tonto ]

I've just gotten out of the bed for the day. I just showered. I guess that's all i'm looking to accomplish for the day. I had so much having Justin here for those few days, it was so nice to be sharing his house, his everything with him.

Yesterday, he stayed in the studio downstairs all morning and a part of the day. He was practicing his dance moves for the show and Amy and I sat and watched. He sang my favorite part of "Take It From Here" to me.

"I wanna hold your hands, reveal all your plans
I wanna make sure everyone of your dreams is there
I wanna be your broadway show, on review...
So I can act out how GOD was when he made you.."


I swear that part of the song makes me cry almost every damn time. I didn't cry yesterday when he sang it to me b/c i was too caught up in the moment and being happy to cry. Amy kept sitting there saying "you love him". Neither Justin or I have said "I love you." It's something I made Justin agree to in the beginning. I told him not to say the words unless he mean't it...Right now I think he's just feeling the whole thing out. I mean, he DID just break up with Britney not too long ago. It may take him awhile to open up enough to do so...and I'm fine with it. It'll mean that much more to me once he finally says it..IF and WHEN he does.

Anyways, Amy rode with me to drive him to the airport. We got there a lil early and sat around. We sat on this HUGE window ledge. I sat with my back against the wall and he sat between my legs, facing out toward the landing strip. We didn't say a whole lot, we just sat there and I rubbed his shoulders while he hummed. Amy sat like 5 feet from us, she didn't say a word. I dont think she knew WHAT to say. It was an odd moment to say the least.

When his plane had arrived I walked with him as far as the crew would let me. I gave him the bags full of food, hugged him and kissed him goodbye. He said goodbye to Amy and then boarded the plane.

::sigh:: I would've loved to tell him that I love him right then. But I don't want to put unness. pressure on him to say it. Besides, I think he could feel it when I hugged him goodbye. One day he'll say it, I'm sure of it. I can wait, he's definitely worth waiting for.

Gah ok enough of that, i'm gonna get all depressed. Aww, he's probably out doing his show now..awww. OK ok!! I'm gonna go, i cant write anything thats NOT justin related

TTYLs
Lyds*
Comments: 1 comment -:- Comments.

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