Something Less Than Darkness -- Mike's Blurty Blurty

past

User Info
Friends
Memories
Calendar
Icons

Information

Name: Mike
Age: 19
Sex: Male
Home: Co

Details

blah blah blah. C-ko cannot worte this.

Currents

Layout: "Something less than Darkness" featuring Iruka-sensei from Naruto.

Then, more stuff that the C-ko has no way of knowing! Eeeek!

On the Web

[@27names]

[@LiveJournal]

Etcetra

	[21 Feb 2005\|12:22am]
Sometimes a darkness sweeps over me and I feel taken under. Submerged I sink, deep into the muck. Alone, of course, suspended in my woe. A foe is woe that I know... so. I wonder why I can never seem to be happy. Why I never let myself be happy. To have so much, yet to be grateful for so little. Yet to be grateful for everything. To be grateful for nothing. I know that if I work for something I can attain it. Anyone can, in truth. If you truly seek something, you can have it, the only thing stopping you... is you. Why do I stop myself? Do I enjoy the pain? Or is it not pain? Things have been worse, much, much worse. Yet can they ever get better? I mire by, day after day, as those that I love grow older. As I grow older. My darkness soon to wake, yet I take no action. I allow myself to break. Or do I simply break, from no action I take? Weak, so to speak. Is it weakness? Or is it just my humanity that I'm ashamed of? Ashamed to be what I am. To be what I am. I should feel no shame for loving how I love, yet I do. Sometimes I do, sometimes I don't. I feel fear to speak the truth of self, of my self. Yet I feel proud at the identical time. Proud to be different. Proud to be Gay. Proud to be.. me. Yet ashamed. Why? I know why. I want someone's touch, I want someone to want to touch me. To want to be near me, always. Perhaps not always, but at least often. No. Always. To have them near, even when I'm far. I feel lust, which shames me, though I doubt my shame more and more. I have urges, I have. desire. I want. Yet.. I don't. Always of two minds, two minds of all. Musing, lol. Seeing, where my mind takes me.
Light the way

	[26 Feb 2004\|11:51pm]
this was my journal on deviantart (http://steelcladsorcerer.deviantart.com) i've been out of medication for the past 2 days and i've really been feeling it. i cant imagine living like this, i mean it's not great fun when i'm medicated, but it isnt like this. all i can ever do is think about dying. lol yes i've been suicidal for a very long time now, luckily lexapro helps me along. i thought i might as well let the people who view my "art" also view me, for what i am. the manic depressive optimist who's nothing bu an atheist begging to be an agnostic, begging for something real and permanent.
1 flame\|Light the way

	[15 Jan 2004\|11:00pm]
1. Which dead British monarch would you like to make out with? will they be dead when i makeout with them? if so... i'm happy so long as they're still rotting. 2. What is the meaning of life? there isnt one. we're the product of random events. 3. Which Asian alphabet is your favorite? Cant go wrong with Kanji 4. Which fictional character are you most like? lycre? belgarath? cladius(graves' version), uh.... grundy from xanth? : ) 6. Why is fake booze so much better than real booze? Never had fake booze. Maybe how it doesnt make you stupid? 7. If you could live anywhere in the world, where would you live? forest, far, far away from anyone 8. What is your favorite book? belgarath, el sorcerer 9. In musical terms, what does happiness sound like? i dont like this survey 10. Describe the ideal (wo)man. like me 11. What is your favorite foreign movie? crouching tiger? : D 12. And your favorite foreign movie director? no idea 13. Who is Shakespeare's best heroine? really dont have any feelings on shakespeare, sure he was great i guess, but meh. 14. What do you want to do with your life? i want to matter, at least to myself. 15. Who is your poet? i dislike poetry considerably 16. Why aren't you a vegetarian? i would be, but i love the taste of bloodied meat 17. Which is your favorite European capital? rome 18. Which Chinese dish best describes your personality? uh i like kung pao chicken... it's tastey 19. Which historical figure were you in a past life? riiight, past lives, i know what i will be! worm food : D well if i'm lucky, i just dont want any of those maggots in me. 20. What are your preferred ancient texts? i really should read more, but it's all very interesting. 21. What is your favorite non-Romance language? -- Japanese 22. Which is your favorite ancient civilization? -- China 23. What is love? needing someone, wanting to be with someone above all else. not wanting to live without them. 24. What is your favorite song to sing? drawn to the fire, from the buffy musical 25. What is your preferred cuisine? Chinese 26. What is your favorite French novel? i really have no favortism towards race with authors. 27. What role in a Shakespearean play would you like to perform? mid summer's night dream i suppose 28. What painting would you put up in your living room? something i painted? like red canvas : D 29. If you could drown in any body of water on the planet, which would you choose? Dead Sea 30. What is the most aesthetically pleasing geographical name on the planet? not really sure something italian i suppose 31. Which fair animal is best? horse 32. Which African country is coolest? Egypt 33. Japan or China?-- Japan 34. Which is your favorite non-Christian religion? Not sure, shinto? 35. Which of Henry VIII's six wives do you like best?-- six fingered one, Anne Bolyn 36. What is your favorite bad movie? evil dead? 37. What is your preferred literary movement? i have no freakin idea 38. Who is your favorite artist? art is pretty 39. Who is your favorite composer? Beethoven 40. Which is your favorite European revolution? france fo' shizzle 41. Cleopatra, Hatshepsut, or Queen Elizabeth I? Cleopatra 42. Which fictional character would you like to marry? polgara 43. What is your favorite brand of soap? ivory, by far 44. Who is your favorite British actor or actress? anthony stewart-head!! 45. Pick one: Spain, France, Italy, or Greece. Italy 46. Which is your favorite desert? cold apple pie maybe 47. Tea: herbal, green, or black? i really dont like tea 48. What is your favorite poem? me no like poetry 49. Where would you rather have lived: Babylon or Nineveh? Babylon, and build my OWN tower. 50. Which is the best Scandinavian country? lol nothing like a randomassed test to make me feel like an american. i barely know where that region is, let alone specifics...
Light the way

	[18 Dec 2003\|01:04pm]
i finished downloading Angel(the series) today! wooo! finished downloading buffy weeks ago ^^ just a couple of fun facts
Light the way

	[10 Dec 2003\|11:55pm]
just a random musing to revamp the plot line of my story. this is the backstory, it's very mixed up but i thought i'd put it here ^.~ Daughter to Zia Ancil Levinnia, as well as the former High Priestess to T’ell the wind god. She turned her back on her god as well as her kingdom. She overthrew her mother in a brutal civil war which left the kingdom in ruin (The radical heathens versus those of the old way in their kingdom). The war lasted 200 years, but eventually she claimed the throne, slaying her mother with her own hand. She was nearly unstoppable. She began to mass her forces and started a slow conquest taking out most of the civilized eastern lands. None could stand against her, kingdom after kingdom fell in her bloody wake. Calith, along with several remaining countries renound for their magical prowess sealed Levinnia the Second, who’s armies fell soon after, not charged by her dark power(1204). 12 years before her capture Levinnia II had a child, a young girl who bore the name Maus Levinnia III. Calith adopted Maus , Maus later became a member of the High Council of Bel, to the god her mother rebuked, T’ell. 5576, the seal is weakened. Levinnia takes control of the gentle Maus, using her bond as mother to trick Maus into allowing said possession. Maus begins the war again, summoning powerful dark magic. She takes Calith off his guard and assumedly slays him and seals her bride Illydria (goddess of hope) by making a pact with a higher goddess by the name of Myidcre(darkness, not a god of the realm of intihar, but an unwelcome interlouper. Calith’s child Calian survives due to a last ditch effort by Illydria, sending him to Tilious, Celji and masks his power. Janus is now in power in Bel, with her beloved Calith gone she does the thing she’s best at, war. Her forces manage to send Maus back to her mother’s ruinous kingdom of Cin(named cin after 1204, for the cin of levinnia II). Maus waits.8 weeks later Calith recovers from his … well death (Calith has the ability to recover from any injury, given enough time, along with his massive magical power, however, recovering using a great deal of his energy, so blowing him up tends to put him completely out of commission for a good while.) Calith and Janus go to Tilious, Celji and find that two children are there of the exact same age and both had been abandoned at about the same time. They take them both home to Bel, for Calith’s child is the one spoken of by prophecy… they just have to figure out which is which as well as how to defeat the higher goddess Myidcre along with how to free Maus and stop Levinnia once and for all.
Light the way

[10 Dec 2003|09:35pm]

[

mood

tired

]

cko's the best, i can only attest, you cannot contest, so screw all the rest! ^^

AIM QUOTE OF THE DAY:

GoldenGaav (10:18:07 PM): did you buy me a dolphin skin coat?
LahariMo (10:18:30 PM): yeah, its on the way
LahariMo (10:18:38 PM): the dolphin's name was bubbles
GoldenGaav (10:18:43 PM): YAY!
LahariMo (10:18:50 PM): it comes with a picture of the dolphin when it was still alive

Light the way

	[04 Dec 2003\|06:00pm]
this world isnt meant for me. i cant wait to leave it, it just isnt worth it, it's so clear to me now. none of us should have to suffer like this. it isnt right. and, yeah, i know this world isnt fair. but like i said, this isnt my world, so grant me some leeway. blah whatever
Light the way

[29 Nov 2003|09:24pm]

[	mood	\|	depressed	]
[	music	\|	"you.. were meant for me..."	]

i've decided what tattoo i want. a cross, on my shoulder or upper arm, most likely upper arm. i cant seem to find a decent design. i .. i'm not sure why i want it, well not completely. it's a type of security i suppose and alligence to a higher power that may or may not exist. a devotion to the theory of a loving father who watches over me always. it's a nice thought. well i'll sketch a few design ideas but all i've found on the net are either overly celtic, ugly or have figures on them, i just want something simple. hmmm ^^

Light the way

	[25 Nov 2003\|10:14pm]
[[ Name ]] - Michael Thomas Rando [[ Nicknames, including from family ]] - Rando, Mi-Kun, Mr. Xelloss [[ Birthday ]] - June 19th 1984 [[ Age ]] - 19 [[ Astrological sign? ]] - Gemini [[ Chinese zodiac sign? ]] - Rat [[ Location ]] - Colorado [[ Sexual Preference ]] - Murderous [[ Marital Status ]] - Single [[ Current Haircolor ]] - Medium Brown [[ Eyecolor]] - Dark Brown [[ Parents still together? ]] - Not since I was 3 [[ Siblings? ]] - Sister, Carolyn - 21, engaged to an englishmen [[ Pets? ]] - Sam the shar-pei, Nikey the tabby [[ In school/graduated? ]] - college start of the 2004 year [[ Rent, lease, or own your home? ]] - with folks atm [[ What do you do for work? ]] - PSI [[ How much do you make? ]] - 20,000 a year [[ What do you drive? ]] - I ride the bus, like most people who work in denver Preferences [[ Black and White/Color ]] - black and white [[ Black/White ]] - Black to wear, white otherwise, like cars and such [[ Red/Blue ]] - Red [[ Dogs/Cats ]] - Cats [[ Roses/Daisies ]] - Roses [[ Beer/Liquor ]] - Liquor [[ Boxers/Briefs wink ]] - Boxer-Briefs [[ Hair: Short/Long ]] - short on me, long on girls [[ Boots/Shoes ]] - Boots [[ Food: Mexican/Italian ]] - Italian for sure [[ Dark/Light ]] - Dark [[ Day/Night ]] - Night [[ City/Country ]] - Country [[ Sheets: Solid/Animal Prints ]] - Solid [[ Sub/Dom ]] - Sub Favorites [[ Color ]] - White [[ Animal ]] - Human [[ Vehicle ]] - red and convertable [[ Flower ]] - Gladiolas [[ Beer ]] - dont really care for beer [[ Liquor ]] - red wine [[ Food ]] - kung pao chicken / mafalda [[ Book ]] - Not sure... I love a lot of books. Belgarath by David Eddings I suppose [[ Author ]] - David Eddings [[ Band ]] - Not sure [[ CD ]] - mp3s, yo! [[ Song ]] - science genius girl! [[ Movie ]] - as good as it gets, death becomes her, awakenings [[ Director ]] - dunno, me? [[ Extracurricular Activity ]] - Writing, rpging, creating [[ Color your hair? ]] - black [[ Have tattoos? ]] - not yet, but soon [[ Piercings? ]] - not yet [[ Have a boyfriend/girlfriend/both? ]] - 3 of each, and no neither Have you... [[ Stolen anything? ]] - not really [[ Smoke? ]] - a few times [[ Pot? ]] - hell no [[ Crack? ]] - lol drugs are the bane of any civilized society [[ Drink? ]] - very very rarely [[ Been so drunk you couldn't remember your name? ]] - no, never been drunk [[ Been so drunk you didn't care that you couldn't remember your name? ]] - No [[ Posed for nude pics? ]] - sure [[ Considered a life of crime? ]] - yes [[ Considered being a hooker? ]] - yes [[ Maybe a pimp? ]] - yes [[ Cheated on someone? ]] - Nope, me very loyal [[ Been married? ]] - No [[ Been divorced? ]] - 15 times last fall Are you psycho? [[ Split personalities? ]] - no [[ Schizophrenic? ]] - lol [[ Obsessive? ]] - yay verily [[ Compulsive? ]] - oh yes [[ Obsessive Compulsive? ]] - very much so [[ Panic? ]] - lots [[ Anxiety? ]] - tons [[ Depressed? ]] - heavily [[ Suicidal? ]] - yep [[ Homicidal? ]] - not really [[ Genocidal? ]] - not really [[ Pedophile?]] - lol no [[ Obsessed with hate? ]] - nope [[ Mutilate animals? ]] - no way [[ Idolize infamous criminals? ]] - nah [[ Dream of mutilated bodies, blood, death, and gore? ]] - yep lots [[ Dream of doing those things instead of just seeing them? ]] - yepp The good stuff... [[ Had sex outdoors? ]] - Nope [[ What are you listening to? ]] watching friends [[ What are you watching? ]] - uh friends [[ What time is it? ]] - 10:13 pm [[ What are you wearing? ]] - jeans, socks, cool shoes worth 50 points on the coolness scale, t-shirt, hooded sweatshirt, boxers If you could... ((It's too beautiful! Must...leave...)) [[ Be anywhere, where would you be? ]] - Heaven [[ Who would you be with? ]] - God [[ What would you be doin? ]] - enjoying myself
Light the way

[24 Nov 2003|01:15pm]

The World Is MINE! by Demonac
Name:
You will conquer:	the Entire Universe (except for Arakis).
Your title will be:	Lord (regardless of gender)
You will succeed by:	A complete accident.
Your Enforcers will be:	The Antarans (from Masters of Orion II).
Your first act as ruler:	Remove anti-hate/bigotry laws just to see what would happen.

Created with quill18's MemeGen!

Light the way

	[19 Nov 2003\|03:17pm]
me likes to eat monkies, they taste good in milk. me allergic to milk but me drink it regardless, get tummy ache like fire from mount saint helen. me like monkies, they pop when me cooks them. me speak english well considering me is troll. me cool, like monkey waving a flag on the side of the porch. me cool like oompa loompas.
5 flames\|Light the way

[13 Nov 2003|12:24pm]

[	mood	\|	sad	]
[	music	\|	Girlfriend, you make my head start spinnin...	]

A - Act your age - 19
B - Breast size - : / I like to call em pecs
C - Chore you hate - unloading the dish washer
D - Dad's name - Thomas
E - Essential make up item - Hmm..i somehow dont think this was written for the conventional man, but tweezers, not really make up though, but important
F - Favorite actor - Robin Williams I think
G - Gold or silver - Gold
H - Hometown - Falls Church, VA
I - Instruments you play - I want to learn the piano and violin, does that count?
J - Job title - God-in-Training or Office Assistant to Policy Studies/Student
K - Kids - 1/4th, I call him Mister Torso
L - Living arrangements - Parents : /
M - Mom's name - Lora Lynne
N - Number of people you've slept with - 0
O - Overnight hospital stays - 11 probably
P - Phobia - Bees, sheer drops, crowded places
Q - Quote you like - "the day soon approaches, mortals, and soon my power will be realized," -me
R - Religious affiliation - Not really sure
S - Siblings - Older Sister
T - Time you wake up - 12 to 2
U - Unique habit - I kill rabbits because i like the way rain falls on lillies.
V - Vegetable you refuse to eat - Zucini
W - Worst habit - Unmotivation
X - X-rays you've had - hmm not really sure i've had any
Y - Yummy food you make - Peanut Butter Cookies from scratch!
Z - Zodiac Sign - Gemini

1 flame|Light the way

	[19 Oct 2003\|02:11pm]
What's this? ushichan_haru posting in Mike's blurty? Why, this can only mean one thing! ~~She's evil!~~ A new layout! The green color scheme= so pretty. Iruka= so cute. This layout= so angst. But I like it ^^ Don't forget to tell me that you think, Mi-kun!
6 flames\|Light the way

	[18 Oct 2003\|07:19pm]
( monkey )
Light the way

	[06 Oct 2003\|09:03am]
( bored )
Light the way

	[02 Oct 2003\|02:23am]
( piddling on the floor )
2 flames\|Light the way

	[25 Sep 2003\|04:59am]
( piddling )
5 flames\|Light the way

	[24 Sep 2003\|04:44pm]
( questionare )
79 flames\|Light the way

	[23 Sep 2003\|04:51pm]
( fluffernutters )
1 flame\|Light the way

	[22 Sep 2003\|02:34am]
( recent )
1 flame\|Light the way