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i'm going to vent here because no one reads this anyways-- alright..i hate certain people. actually, 1 person in general. what makes it right for you to come back into her life? what makes it fair? what makes it so you are ALLOWED to hurt her again? you are incredibly lucky that shes evenn looking at you. but now you're in our house?! nothing nothing nothing nothing makes that right.. you put her in the hospital. she wsa suicidal. you didnt even visit. you didnt even talk to me when i tried desperately to talk to you and find out what the deal was. nothing gives you any of this privelege-and yet somehow you get it.. go fucking die. | |
| i haven't updated in awhile, so i decided i would just to say hi blurty :) | |
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christmas is soon... i llove you! be happy your hot! :o) woah thats random but yea im bored and havent updated in awhile | |
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things you never will say about me current mood:  jealouscurrent music: some commercial | |
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anywho im off to school. but i know what they cant teach you in school.....philosophy!!! mwahahaahahaha {\o/} / \ current mood:  hopefulcurrent music: nothing | |
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im so sorry i succeeded in pissing will off again.. i dont want it to be this way between us... i like to consider him one of my best friends...but i hate this..because he never hears me out.. he thinks i never believe him, hes partially right, because i have trouble believing people, i always have... but its not because its will. hes awesome.. i just dont know anymore about this.. i guess i got him mad at me. i wouldnt blame him, but i hate this, i wish things were the same again. i just feel like ever since we broke up its not the same. obviously its not gonna be the same. im not even saying that i wanna be with him. i just want to feel like he cares. he says he caares, and he gets mad when i dont believe him. i feel horrible that i cant believe him, but honestly what has he ever given me to trust him with? whats wrong with me? why cant i trust him? id write more but i dont have time. please respond...gimme some hope/thoughts... yewgiVemechill Z (6:56:28 PM): my moms a freak WoNKa21489 (6:56:32 PM): ok yewgiVemechill Z (6:56:47 PM): she was on the phone a long time WoNKa21489 (6:57:09 PM): ok yewgiVemechill Z (6:57:25 PM): anyways.. yewgiVemechill Z (6:57:34 PM): i forget what we were talking about yewgiVemechill Z (6:57:47 PM): lol WoNKa21489 (6:58:09 PM): yes yewgiVemechill Z (6:58:21 PM): uhhh... yewgiVemechill Z (6:58:35 PM): yes...things you did that angered me in the past WoNKa21489 (6:58:35 PM): yes yewgiVemechill Z (6:58:35 PM): lol yewgiVemechill Z (6:58:37 PM): i remember yewgiVemechill Z (6:58:55 PM): well, whatever i dont really care anymore whats done is done yewgiVemechill Z (6:59:03 PM): ohh yea now i remember where we left off WoNKa21489 (6:59:07 PM): ok yewgiVemechill Z (6:59:13 PM): yuckk yewgiVemechill Z (6:59:19 PM): i hate one word answers yewgiVemechill Z (6:59:21 PM): like ok yewgiVemechill Z (6:59:22 PM): and yes yewgiVemechill Z (6:59:23 PM): and op yewgiVemechill Z (6:59:25 PM): oh* WoNKa21489 (6:59:41 PM): ok ok WoNKa21489 (6:59:45 PM): oh ok WoNKa21489 (6:59:49 PM): hehehehehehehehehehehe yewgiVemechill Z (7:00:15 PM): >:Oyour ruining my life! yewgiVemechill Z (7:00:19 PM): haha jk your the best WoNKa21489 (7:00:44 PM): ok yewgiVemechill Z (7:01:07 PM): ROAR WoNKa21489 (7:01:34 PM): oh WoNKa21489 (7:01:37 PM): ill stop yewgiVemechill Z (7:01:44 PM): lol WoNKa21489 (7:01:59 PM): so yewgiVemechill Z (7:02:09 PM): ok what i was going to say before my mom kicked me off was that i feel REALLY stupid because i thought.. WoNKa21489 (7:02:18 PM): yes yewgiVemechill Z (7:02:36 PM): that you liked me...and then allof a sudden you didnt and it was just like WOAH WoNKa21489 (7:02:55 PM): woah wen was this WoNKa21489 (7:03:01 PM): ok WoNKa21489 (7:03:06 PM): wait WoNKa21489 (7:03:08 PM): wen yewgiVemechill Z (7:03:14 PM): when you broke up with me WoNKa21489 (7:03:41 PM): o no i still liked u wen i broke up with u yewgiVemechill Z (7:04:17 PM): then i dont get it yewgiVemechill Z (7:04:21 PM): but dont explain yewgiVemechill Z (7:04:26 PM): because i dont really think i wanna know WoNKa21489 (7:04:34 PM): oooook yewgiVemechill Z (7:05:06 PM): because you told me the reason was that you could never see me...i think it would be easier to think that then to know the real reasons. yewgiVemechill Z (7:05:27 PM): i dont know if that makes any sense WoNKa21489 (7:05:35 PM): no it doesnt yewgiVemechill Z (7:05:58 PM): well, lets say the real reason is you liked someone else or i dont know something like that yewgiVemechill Z (7:06:25 PM): its just nicer to think thatb you broke up with me because you could never see me then not liking me WoNKa21489 (7:06:50 PM): r u saying i was lieing yewgiVemechill Z (7:07:29 PM): im saying its a wierd reason, no offense, i dont really have a right to say your lying...but...yea theres things on my mind WoNKa21489 (7:07:50 PM): o ok yewgiVemechill Z (7:08:39 PM): i hate answers like o ok because it doesnt really show me what your thinking WoNKa21489 (7:09:08 PM): well im kind mad yewgiVemechill Z (7:09:17 PM): please tell me why WoNKa21489 (7:09:35 PM): cause u never believe me WoNKa21489 (7:10:01 PM): c ya yewgiVemechill Z (7:10:06 PM): bye.. | |
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*;-* R e l a t i o n s h i p s~* Who are your top 3 best friends: rissa, lindsey, ashley have a boyfriend/girlfriend? nah.. Do you have a crush on someone? yess, i do *;-*F a s h i o n S t u f f *-;-* Where is your favourite place to shop? weathervane maybe? Do you think your fashion is cool? uhh sure why not? solids over prints, name anyone else who does that What do you have pierced? ears but i dont use them :*;-* T h e E x t r a S t u f f *-;-* Do you do drugs? nah there bad What kind of shampoo do you use? pantene i guess How many TVs in your house? lemme see...123456789. 9 (one in pretty much every room.) What are you listening to right now? brand new Where do you want to get married? dont wanna get married, but if i had to choose...beach How many messenger buddies do you have online now? 36 *-;-* F a v o r I t e s *-;-* Colours? pink Number 1 Movie? cruel intentions Fast Food? outback count? theres a drive through Boy's name? tod Girl's name? chloe Subject(s): art, english CD? any dashboard Animals? bears Game(s)? rummy ;-* H a v e Y o u E v e r *-;-* Given someone a bath? yea, baby sister Smoked? no Bungee jumped? looks fun, anyone up for it? Broken the law? yea a few Run from the cops? not that i know of Made yourself throw up? ichhk no Gone skinny dipping? hehe yes! Ever been in love? ehh...next question *-;-* F i n a l Q u e s t i o n s *-;-* Do you like filling these out? sure when your bored your bored How many people are you sending this to? no one, too lazy Who will send it back? ?? If you could be someone else for a day, who would it be? anyone who gets alot of sleep Gold or Silver? silver What is the last film you saw at the cinema? haunted mansion...bad time Breakfast in the morning? too lazy Who would u hate to be locked in a room with? you current mood:  okaycurrent music: idk | |
william is a liar...i will hurt him...hes telling everyone i was crying in geometry. shit faced liar is going bye byecurrent mood:  indescribablecurrent music: turpentine chaser AGAIN | |
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you chose not to be in my life. therefore, reading my online journal would be pointless...dont get to know me through a damn computer..take the time to know me cuz im your damn daughter. asking my sister whats wrong with me is not the real question whats wrong with you? you abandon your fucking daughters if you couldnt handle kids you should have used a condom darling if your going to take the time to look up my journal online you should at least take the time to write a damn child support check once a fucken year. you have no business going into my life through internet. its called a phone and im pretty damn sure you have one. your a worthless excuse for a dad. you dont even deserve that as a title. your a piece of shit rotting away on a damn computer making your living off FAKE items on ebay. yea thats right your a fucking fake. lets take this silver paint pen and scribble a little signature on this lamp here. dont fucken deny it cuz i saw you do it. stop being such a con-artist and get a real job for shits sake. maybe your daughters would love you if you took 2 seconds out of your useless existence and called. maybe we'd come to your damn funeral. ive got 10 bucks that says we dont even know you die until a month after...ive got 1000 that says i wont care stomach that current mood:  accomplished
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lets list reasons im wierd, since im bored. 1-last nite i had a whole large pizza myself and now im craving pizza 2-i have dreams, and they come true 3-i find it amusing to talk about old tv shows for hours on end with people i havent really talked to in 2 years 4-i read lyrics to songs ive never heard just for the sake of reading the words 5-i have a different nickname with pretty much everyone 6-i like torturing my cat by putting double sided tape on her paws... 7-when eating cereal with marshmallows, i eat around the marshmallows and save them for last 8-i list reasons why im wierd on my online journal 9-i watch friends at least 2 hours every day 10-i bring up LONG DEAD jokes 11-i run up to random strangers yelling "i dont have a life" 12-im a vegeterian...enough said 13-i break a toe like twice a year 14-i make up words like bazizzle 15-my insults to people consist of tear jerking things like "your tall" 16-because my name has a "x" in it 17-my name means man who works with hammer 18-i find pleasure confuising people asking whether it is a big or little hammer 19-"i eat pizza and my name is krystin"<--rissa told me to add it 20-i ask people why im wierd 21-i harass people on others screen names 22-i change others profiles around to make them appear tto be...umm...different 23-i eat cereal more then i eat anything else in the world 24-if i can see onions, i wont eat it 25-i like the word headstrong ALOT 26-one day i want to legally change my name to diego 27-im done..and theres just so many more...add if you wanna current mood:  chippercurrent music: stuff | |
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x. name = krystin x. nicknames = marxy...diego...marpa...WW(only will would get that one)...k.dawg(also something only will and kikco would get)...kryssy...krystensen(whoa brings back GTs)... x. birthday = 8.24 x. piercings = ears x. tattoos = not yet..hehe x. hair color = brownish reddish (the reddish part comes from a salon ty very much) x. length = umm...sure why not? x. siblings = 2.. x. pets = yikes...3 cats...2 dogs...3 rabbits last... x. movie you rented = american pie x. movie you bought = lion king! x. song you listened to = again i go unnoticed...dashboard x. song that was stuck in your head = for you to notice...dashboard x. song you've downloaded = eh...some ataris stuff? idk it was awhile ago x. cd you bought = dashboard x. person you've called = lindsey x. person that's called you = joanna x. tv show you've watched = friends possibly do... x. you have a bf or gf = nope x. you have a crush on someone = still will x. you wish you could live somewhere else = sometimes x. you think about suicide = thought about it...yes, attempted...no x. others find you attractive = uh no x. you want more piercings = sometimes i think about my nose but then i change my mind x. you want more tattoos = sometimes think of a rose on my lower back x. you drink = not much x. you do drugs = NO x. you smoke = ech no x. you like cleaning = haha nope x. you like roller coasters = OHH YAAH x. you carry a donor card = i stole yours actually for or against x. long distance relationships = too too hard x. using someone = ick worst thing ever x. suicide = against. x. killing people = against x. teenage smoking = against x. doing drugs = against. x. premarital sex = who gives a shit x. gay/lesbian relationships = i think its cute x. soap operas = cheap favorite... x. food = cheesecake! x. song = maybe turpentine chaser x. thing to do = listen to music x. thing to talk about = life..yea lol x. sports = i play softball x. clothes = jeans and a shirt x. movies = cruel intentions, lion king, knights tale x. band = i have a few x. cars = dont wanna say..haha have u. . . x. ever cried over a someone = hell yes. x. ever lied to someone = yea. x. ever been in a fist fight = nope x. ever been arrested = nope what... x. shampoo do you use = garnier x. shoes do you wear = nikes? x. are you scared of = blood...love number... x. of times you've been in love? = 2 x. of times you've had your heart broken? = 2 x. of hearts you've broken? = none x. of boys you've kissed? = more then one less then 20 (id say but i dont wnna appear skanky) x. of girls you've kissed? = a bunch! (family!! on cheek) haha x. of men you've slept with? = like a virgin x. of girls you've slept with? = none x. of continents you've lived in? = 1 x. of drugs you've taken illegally? = none that i know of. x. of people you would classify as true, could trust with your life type friends? = 3 or 4 maybe x. of people you consider enemies? = i dont hate anyone x. of cd's that you own? = alot x. of times your name has appeared in the newspaper? = never lookeed.. x. of scars on your body? = alot x. of things in your past that you regret? = a handful current mood:  hungry
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I'm starting to fashion an idea in my head Where I would impress you with every single word I said It would come out insightful, or brave, or smooth, or charming And you'd want to call me And I would be there every time you need me I'd be there every time But for now I'll look so longingly waiting for you to want me, for you to need me, for you to notice me. I'm starting to fashion an idea in my head Where I would impress you with every single word I said It would come out insightful, or brave, or smooth, or charming And you'd want to call me And I would be there every time you need me I'd be there every time But for now I'll look so longingly waiting for you to want me, for you to need me, for you to notice me current mood:  melancholy
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im seriously really worried... one of my best friends is saying some things that are freaking me out...i cant say names...but i think their going to hurt themself... i dont know what to do...as their friend i have to say something but i dont want them to resent me... they dont understand that if they ever did anything i wouldnt be able to go on...i couldnt go on without them...life wouldnt be life.. "and you've been the best friend, thanks for everything..." i dont know what to do with that... their saying bye to me and i dont know what to do...when someone you love with all your heart is saying their goodbyes...i dont know what to do... * if this person ever hurt themself i literally would die. i love them so much they have no idea. they promised me they wouldnt hurt themself... i hope their telling the truth.. bye for now. *marxy =*( current mood: depressedcurrent music: for you to notice | |
...and sooner or later this breakand our hands will be warmagainbut all i want is not to need you now and sooner or later this breakand our words will be heardagain | |
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wow im a bit pissed apparently will told some people that the real reason he broke up with me was because "he doesnt think im pretty anymore and i have hairy arms and a hairy back" ok. i have a few little things to comment on there. a-"...he doesnt think your pretty anymore" how shallow can you be?! my looks didnt change. so therefore i would have to be ugly in the first place which i agree with but if you want miss america then you shouldn't have asked me out in the first place now should you have? will you definetly need a reality check. looks aren't what IM about. im nothing special. im just me. sorry i was born ugly you can blame my parents. b"...he thinks you have a hairy back..." what the hell?! its called immaturity. considering youve never seen my damn back since i wear clothes to school. yea ok judge my looks and my supposed hairy back, because thats how incredibly good you are. you need to fucken look in the mirror. but the thing is, i dont see anything wrong with your looks. i see something wrong with your personality. thats me. i judge personalities, not fucking looks. maybe you should learn to do the same my dear. *marxy current mood:  aggravatedcurrent music: dashboard | |
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marissa lost 30 bucks. i felt really bad. she left it in sbarros and when we went back it was obviously gone.. oh yea and kenny got this soap stuff all over me from bath and body works. it smelled really good but it was nasty and sticky. hes such a little rapist. then we were sitting on the benches and we were taking a poll about my ass and my "bangability" apparently im pretty bangable. ahahaha im still upset about the whole will thing but the mall helped get my mind off things. ive been listening to this damn dashboard cd for about 5 hours straight. oh well its good times. i needed good music in my life again. i cant wait till christmas when i get all my cds! oh yea guess what?! im a follower of the new philosopher nick. hes a 14 year old american buddah. hes the only 14 year old philosopher and he makes me think. hes cool. ahaha sorry had to put that in well, my breaks over in like 8 minutes so id better go later gators *Marxy current mood: okaycurrent music: again i go unnoticed--dashboard | |
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all i want is one story, one truth ok so we broke up yea im about as pissed as a little girl can be. i like him so much he has no idea and he asked me out. i dont even think he liked me considering if he liked me he wouldnt have given up. oh well, im used to it. everyone gives up on me. i dont know what to do anymore. im so lost. i want to talk to him one on one..shit i gotta go ill update more later. *marxy | |
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Right here I'll stay Stand silent in flames Stand tall 'till it fades Shoot me again I ain't dead yet (x4) Shoot me again Shoot me again Shoot me! Shoot me again Shoot me again C'mon! (x2) All the shots I take I spit back at you All the shit you fake Comes back to haunt you All the shots.. All the shots... All the shots I take What difference did I make? All the shots I take I spit back at you I won't go away With a bullet in my back! Right here I'll stay With a bullet in my back! Shoot me... Take a shot Shoot me... Take a shot Shoot me... Take a shot Shoot me... Take a shot I'll stand on my own With a bullet in my back! I'm stranded and sold With a bullet in my back! Shoot me again I ain't dead yet (x4) Shoot me again Shoot me again C'mon! Shoot me again Shoot me again C'mon! (x2) All the shots I take I spit back at you All the shit you fake Comes back to haunt you All the shots.. All the shots... All the shots I take What difference did I make? All the shots I take I spit back at you I bite my tongue Trying not to shoot back No compromise My heart won't pump the other way Wake the sleeping giant Wake the beast Wake the sleeping dog No, let him sleep I bite my tongue Trying not to shoot back... All the shots I take I spit back at you All the shit you fake Comes back to haunt you All the shots.. All the shots... All the shots I take What difference did I make? All the shots I take I spit back at you * The motherfuckers got in my head Trying to make me someone else instead It's my world now It's my world now It's my world... It's my world.......! Mama, why's it rainin' in my room? Cheer up boy! Clouds will move on soon! Heavy fog got me lost inside Gonna sit right back and enjoy this ride! It's my world You can't have it It's my world, It's my world It's my world Sucka! I'm out of my head, out of my head Get 'em out of my head, out of my head Get 'em out! Who's in charge of my head today? Dancin' devils in angels way It's my time now It's my time now It's my time... Yeah, it's my time.......! Look out motherfuckers here I come! I'm gonna make my head my home The sons of bitches tried to take my head Tried to make me someone else instead It's my world You can't have it It's my world, it's my world It's my world Sucka! I'm out of my head, out of my head Get 'em out of my head, out of my head Get 'em out! Not only do I not know the answer.. I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT THE QUESTION IS!! (x2) God it feels... Like it only rains on me (x4) Not only do I not know the answer.. I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT THE QUESTION IS!! (x2) Sucka! I'm out of my head, out of my head Out of my head, get 'em out of my head Get 'em out! Enough's enough (x8) * theres a few songs dave thinks will help me at the moment. nice kid. current mood:  cold
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-->art-went in the hall...good fun. my portraits almost finished. it doesnt look much like me but its the effort that counts. mr. dean puled me aside and said that i was doing much better in his class and all kindsa stuff liike that...so i guess thats cool. -->history-were still watching a knights tale. its a good movie. i have it so its not the first time ive watched it. -->english-sooo much to say. we were supposed to check up on our progress on that project. i worked all night and freel didnt even look. fuccckk. then we were suppposed to have a test on chapters 6 7 & 8 but we talked about pig rapage instead. it was really uncalled for to hear about these little boys raping a pig with spears. yea true its figuratively speaking but its still odd. -->advisory-we did that age old activity where you write 2 true things and one fake thing on a paper. no one guessed mine cuz it was a stupid one about names...blahh. -->health-we watched this really sad movie about this guy who was drunk and he fell asleep behind the wheel and now hes permanantly altered. sad stuff lemme tell ya. -->bio-we took this really easy easy quiz im almost positive i aced it. thank god, i need SOME good grades...then we got our tests back. i had a 66 which was decent considering the majority of the class failed miserably. my will got a 33 or something sad like that. speaking of sad he was sick today and its not cool...apparently hess grounded until february which is madness!! so i guess i dont get to hang out with him....i hate this. -->geometry-its ok and alll.....yea not much to say since my moms kiccking me off now. i'll get back to ya laterrr....i guess idk. byee *Marxy current mood:  blahcurrent music: in this diary | |