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Wednesday, July 4th, 2007
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3:18 pm - Optimizing? Whatevs.
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So, I spent a lot of time today deleting about 600 old, useless e-mails from my school account from this past year. Jeeze, I save so much worthless shit.
Anyhoo, now I am fully expaning my use of my Google account, and trying to put photos and stuff like that up. Trying out the whole calendar thing an' all. Pretty sweet.
I've already gotten addicted to the Google Aggregator.
Onward to photos!
current mood:  nerdy
current music: Tyler Read>Private School Girls
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| Friday, May 25th, 2007
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7:07 pm - Gertrude Stein
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"...In 1902, relinquishing her studies, she went abroad and from 1903 until her death lived chiefly in Paris. For many years her secretary and lover was Alice B. Toklas."
Gertude Stein on Bartleby
Weird. Someday, perhaps, I will have two sentences half that intriguing and interesting in my biography.
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| Tuesday, February 20th, 2007
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6:35 pm - Oh, ye ankle of yesteryear.
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The unfortunate thing about spraining my ankle at nineteen is that it will never really get better. Suddlenly, rather than walking around nonchalantly, I'm walking carefully, more focused on where I put my feet than the conversation I'm having, or the music I'm listening to, or the beautiful day (and they have been beautiful lately). And supposing I was to take my mind off it for awhile, and suddenly turn a corner a tad rapidly, there's that sudden tug of not-healed tendon where there used to be compliant working parts. It's depressing. I tend to think back to running around when I was a kid, playing soccer, falling down, racing over uneven ground...I've already made that mistake a couple times, and resprained the darn thing. I can do the exercises, but it's hard to remember.
The road to recovery is one best walked with eyes downcast.
current music: Contradanza>Vanessa Mae
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| Thursday, January 18th, 2007
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5:04 pm - Misadventures
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La dee da. There has been quite a lot of trouble lately, as in, since last night. And it all surrounds Mal Pal.
Well, since Bridget's brother's girlfriend's sister and her husband own a timeshare in Lake Delton, Bridget asked us if we'd like to go and hango out there for a while. It's a really nice place, with a work and room and a pool and air hockey and stuff. And the timeshare itself was a tidy little apartment-type thing, with two floors and an automatic, timer-controlled fireplace both in the living room and the master bedroom. Also, with like, a full kitchen and a TV and DVD/VCR. So Bridget and Clay picked me up, and I brough movies, and Bridget brought some booze. And there were some beers in the timeshare fridge, which we were given permission to drink. Anyway, Clay and Bridget and I went around 7, and went swimming/Bridget worked out. Then we called Mal, and she was extremely put out that we had gone to do something fantastic without her, but we told her to meet us at Wal-Mart, and we went in, and got some orange juice, and had some mini-adventures, and considered trying to shoplift a ham.
Mal came, and she very quickly got over her peevishness, but she made me ride with her when we went back to the timeshare, and was still a bit peevy, and tiresome. Luckily, it was only about a five-minute ride, or maybe less, and we got there, and after some confusion about whether or not it was truly vacated (since some lights were left on) we went right on in, and explored. It was quite nice, apart from that someone had left pee in the upstairs toilet. So we mixed ourselves some screwdrivers, and popped in a movie, and no one paid attention to it, and no one had ever seen the whole thing except for me, so about every five minutes, I had to paraphrase the last five minutes for everyone.
Well, we finished the screwdrivers, and Malarie and Bridget and Clay each had a beer. I say this because it is all important later. Anyway, we tried to go out onto the back patio, but the sliding screen door was really shoddy, and it popped right off the track. So I had to fix it, and I couldn't quite get it, but it was good enough that the next person to use it will probably think that he or she was the one to break it. Then we settled down, and waited to sober up. Finally Mal said she was good to go, and we gathered up all out things, and headed for the door. She dropped me off, and I came in, and went to bed.
And that was all I knew until 7:30, when she woke me up with a call to tell me that she'd been pulled over the night before on her way home. Someone had been tailgating her to beat the band, and in true Malarie fashion, she'd sped up to get him to leave her along. Only the person was a cop, so instead of being grateful for being able to go faster, he pulled her over for speeding. And then he asked if she'd been drinking. And then he'd made her take a breathalizer test. And she blew a .005. And then he'd given her a $250 ticket, and her dad had to come and get her.
Well, he wasn't too angry, although her mom is all sad and disappointed that she would so such a thing. But her dad feels it is his duty to inform Bridget's and my own parentals about the presence of alcohol at this shindig. Which is so like him. Like the way he had people chaperone our New Year's Eve party while he was out of town, but he didn't tell Mal he was going to do it until the last minute, when Bridget had already gotten all the wine and shit.
So I told my 'rents, and they were fairly good-natured about it, especially since I told them I didn't drink any beers. I didn't mention that there was not only beer, but they didn't ask, so it's not like I totally lied.
Anyhoo, now Mal is very very depressed and down, and there's nothing to be done about it, since I return to the land of freedom (aka, school) tomorrow, and have no time for the several days of special Mal treatment that she normally requires. She will simply have to work through the consequences of her actions by herself.
Of course, I shouldn't be so callous, since she drove me home, guarunteeing that I wouldn't have to deal with any consequences. But the real culprit here is here driving, I believe. I don't like it when people tailgate me, but I don't speed up just to accomodate them either. I usually go slower so they'll try to pass me.
That's really all there is to say. I should probably be picking up my scattered belongings from around the house, or doing laundary, or something. But I would much rather read.
current mood:  annoyed
current music: Anna-Molly>Incubus
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| Thursday, December 28th, 2006
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12:00 am - A rant about friends-that-were.
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Trying to re-mesh with everyone here is hard. People are changing so much. I guess the only people who have stayed the same are Malarie and Jenna. Or at least Jenna. I know Mal has been changing pretty regularly, but I've been changing with her, and we've been keeping track of each other, so it doesn't seem that way.
It appears even Bridget has gone off the deep end. She's become so deeply judgemental of everyone drinking. Not that she won't drink, just that she disapproves of everyone else doing the same. Jenna says she's been treating her like a total alkie, which is not the case at all. (Jenna's alcoholism isn't the case. The accusations are indeed occuring.) Then there's Rachel, sitting up there on her Throne of Self-Righeousness, from which she may cast down upon us judgements aplenty. We even mention drinking (or smoking pot, something Bridget is also very strange on) and she clams up and gives everyone the evil eye for about an hour. And New Year's is going to be awful. We've kind of decided that we're going to hold off on the parying until after midnight, in order to give the non-drinkers a chance to get lost if they feel uncomfortable. Or rather, we'll have our first part of the party from 6 to 12, and then our party party will be from there-ish onwards.
But Rachel will show up with Tim. They will sit on each other in a corner, and whisper and stare at everyone with these little smiles on their faces, as though they were part of the hilarity, which they really aren't. And then they'll sit there disapprovingly when we're ready to mix some drinks, and refuse to leave in a timely manner, and we'll sit there, wondering when they're leaving, and it will be unplesant and awkward. Oh, they might say something if there's a topic they disagree with. Or Rachel will anyways. And she'll make some cutting remark designed to make the person she disagrees with feel as though they're insignifigant and stupid. Heaven forbid they don't immediately cow down before her infinite superiority. She'll learn forward on Tim's lap, and get all tense, and refuse to hear whatever they have to say.
If only they could be excluded.
But they can't.
Because society demands that we be polite to our friends, even when they've changed into people we don't care for much anymore.
But she and Bridget seem to have been getting along pretty well. Maybe they'll keep each other company in all their shrewishness.
current mood:  distressed
current music: Silence of a sleeping house
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| Monday, December 25th, 2006
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2:12 pm - Resolutions, of a sort.
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Well, Merry Christmas. I mostly got clothing, but it was okay. I also got cash. No regrets. Well, a few regrets, but none that I'll complain about, not on Christmas.
Other than all that, not much to report. Joey is really surprisingly super at juggling. But then, Joey is super at just about everything he tries athletically or scholastically. And this isn't some older sister pride speaking. It's really true. And I know that by saying it's not older sister pride, it's like I'm saying it's older sister pride. But it's not, really.
I've decided that over break, I'll probably clean this entire house myself, top to bottom. Or at least do the chores whilst my mother is at work. I'm also feeling very literary over the past few days. I may re-read some stuff, like the Anne of Green Gables series, and write something. I could make this vacation my very own Novel Writing Month.
I would also like to back a lot.
That is pretty much my list of goals. I'm gonna go take a shower now.
Merry X-mas.
current mood:  optimistic
current music: TV upstairs. Possibly Curious George.
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| Sunday, December 24th, 2006
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10:48 pm - An angry obituary.
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Here's a few things that are a bitch about starting over on a new computer. And I mean OVER over. Like, you don't have anything from your former work, your former LIFE to work with.
1) Bookmarks in your web browser. I realize that this may sound stupid and picky, but I have a LOT of bookmarks. Well, not right now, since I just lost them all, but they do accumulate. For instance, I had an entire folder of bookmarks from my favorite Boing Boing posts. I had another folder of my favorite authors' websites. Another of blogs I like to check up on. Yet another of the best YouTubes. And then all of these interesting online comics, and funny wallpaper collections. I did this already, moving from the family computer when we got a laptop. But I could at least transfer over some of my links. Now, I have no idea where all the sites with my Engrish Lord of the Rings captions are, or that one blogger, whose name I forget, but who was really funny. Gone. FUCK!
2) Old homework. This also may seem stupid at first, but you know that sometimes you have to reference your old homework for new projects. Also, there are lots of times when I think I did a really good job on something, and I like to keep it around. Or I may not have done such a good job, but I worked really hard, and it seems dumb to just throw that in the trash the first chance I get. I don't keep all assignments, but if I do, they mean something to me. Well, they're all gone now.
3) I do a lot of writing. Random rants that I write when I'm pissed off, and which I'll probably never read again, the beginnings of novels, fanfiction. Well, it's all a creative process that can never be duplicated exactly. So when it's gone, it's GONE. You can write something similar. But probably never quite as good.
4) Applications. I don't know what it is about this new computer, but it doesn't have all the applications that I need to work online. Like SimpleText for writing HTML. Or Classic9 to run a SimpleText document. It doesn't have Windows Media Players, and when I download it for Mac, it doesn't have the application to open the download. Fuckin' A. I hate this.
Anyway, no one would possibly care about my hardships with my computer. I mean, I have one, and that's more than a lot of people can say. And it does have a functioning wireless card, which makes me very happy indeed, since the old one was such shit. But I miss other things. Like all my pictures, and my PDF file of Freakonomics. And the organization I had with my folders. And Tony Hawk Pro Skater 4, which came already installed, and without a disk or anything to copy to other computers.
I will miss you, old computer. The day you died was a sad one.
current mood:  frustrated
current music: TV upstairs
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2:49 pm - Ho ho....ho.
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I'm back at Mom and Dad's again. I can tell my mom is disappointed that my sister and I don't magically get along now. Everyone always told us that as soon as I left for college, and we didn't see each other as often, we'd become really close, and be like best friends. Not happening. And it's all my territorialness. Like, she came up to me, and wanted to watch one of my DVDs. And I decided I didn't want her to. So she went to my mother, and whined, and my mom came down, and told me I had to let Natalie look through my DVDs. MINE. Which I bought MYSELF. Which I keep in my HOME in Milwaukee. And now, since I'm here, they're not MINE anymore.
She's up there wrapping presents.
I know I sound like a greedy little brat. I don't care.
Anyway, I've probably said goodbye to Kyle for a long, long time. He's going to walk the Earth, then move out to California. Patrick and Ruthie announced their love for each other to the whole group, so I think he'll be coming back again. Nothing's for sure though.
Vynnie's going to be my new roommate. I guess I'm pretty happy about that, but her whole thing about Tristan is getting on my nerves. Even though I'm over my whole "Tristan thing", I still like hanging out with him. And she can't stand hanging out with him. Especially when she's drinking. Then she says a lot of horrible things. I don't know if she means them, and he acts like they don't hurt him. I know they do. I know that he's not the most secure guy in the world. And she just keeps tearing him down. And worst thing is, she KNOWS how insecure he is.
But she's a good friend to me, and I think she'll be a good roommate. I just have to figure out when Ethan's coming to visit, so there are no awkward sex walk-ins.
current mood:  discontent
current music: Novotel>Adam Green
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| Wednesday, December 13th, 2006
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3:15 pm - Today
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So, um, this is what I'm doing instead of working on massive amounts of "I should really do this now." stuff. But I'm sitting here, alone, in the Channel, listening to a bunch of physicists talk about the theory of realtivity, and how one could get funding to test it. Dream on, dudes. Hah. Now some woman is trying to sell them tickets to Bucks and Waves games. Hey! She sold them some! Suckers.
So, I slept in far later than I'd planned to. I kept setting my alarm clock forward a half an hour. 8:30 turned into 10:00 eventually. And then I showed up at my Honors class five minutes late, only to find that we don't have any more classes. We just turn in our term projects and leave for the winter. God, if only my fucking advisor would e-mail me with her class recommendations.
So, then I came to Channel, hung out with Perry, Dani, and Kyle. Now, they've all scattered. And I'm here alone.
Fuckin' a. Oh, about what I said on things sorting themselves out: now I'm having stupid feelings about Tristan. He obviously feels nothing in return. I know this for sure. But when we all played spin-the-bottle the other night...it was nice. And then when we went to party with Malarie, he got sick, and I kind of nursemaided him. Which now he's treating me awkwardly because of.
But Kyle is definetly the best guy friend I've ever had. It's weird. Like, I'm probably more comfortable with him than I am with Dani or Vyn even. Once I got over the whole confusing romance/friendship hurdle (made a little easier by his admission of male-preference) he's just so much fun to hang out with.
Gah. This is taking a turn for the cheesy. Abort, abort!
current mood:  indescribable
current music: Physicists talking
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| Thursday, November 30th, 2006
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11:34 am - Um
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So, quite amazingly, tomorrow I am striking out for Yellowstone National Park. And on Monday, I will be back in Milwaukee. Impossible? Perhaps. Nonetheless, that is what I shall be doing.
Kyle and Tristan and Danni and I are leaving this city at 11 o'clock AM on Friday. We will take turns driving (my car, which is a little frightening, but Danni has AAA, so if we do break down, I'll have to explain to my father why I'm in the middle of South Dakota, but at least I won't have to explain it to him from the side of a highway) until we reach Yellowstone, or various places between here and there.
We are all going to be so exhausted.
It is going to be so completely amazing.
We will need a lot of water. I wonder if anyone else realizes how much water we will need. A lot, that's how much.
current mood:  excited
current music: zzzPenchant>Rafter
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| Tuesday, November 28th, 2006
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3:21 pm - Updating after a while
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Hey, nice to talk to y'all again. What's been going on? Glad you asked. Well, HE came out to everyone when we were all pretty drunk. Also, Vyn decided on only Ethan, and blah blah blah. Things are sorting themselves out, I think. So not to worry. Not that you, my faithful readers, would worry!
Oh, hahaha.
...No one's listening.
current mood:  calm
current music: Mugglecast
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| Tuesday, November 7th, 2006
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3:02 pm
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Why am I always so concerned with trying to post acceptably on the boards? No matter what you say, or how many boardies like it, there'll always be several trying to tear you down. Like the girl with the lost kitten, and the guy who got mad at her for saying something. Dude. What a shitty thing to do.
One thing about the internet, it lets people be complete fucking cowards. He wouldn't tell her that to her face, I bet. Just online. I hate people, sometimes. I don't know what I'll do if they legalize the death penalty and outlaw gay marriage. God. Some people.
Also, I am getting sick of the static feedback that happens when my roommate's phone goes off. It's so loud and jarring. And now, it appears, it happens on a whim as well. Fan-fucking-tastic.
I have homework.
current mood: annoyed
current music: Los Angeles>Sugarcult
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11:05 am - I realize
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I realize that my last three journal entires were kind of down-in-the-dumps. Well, let me quickly relate a good event.
On Sunday night, my dad dropped me off from a weekend in Baraboo. I got up to 15/16, then went down to the lounge, and within a while, everyone had shown up. I mean, it was great. They were all there. Everyone all together and happy. I felt like I was home, finally. And then we went out and smoked a little somthinsomethin, and that was weird. But still, I had a good time, and I felt like I was home.
There you go. Yes, I have a deep regret about leaving the theatre, but I love my friends here.
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11:00 am - Misery.
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So, here's how things stand. Kyle doesn't like me. Benjy might, but I don't like him. I haven't done all my work for my classes. I don't know what's going on tonight, but I suspect it will be only moderately fun. All I want is to get drunk as a group, and do something fun.
I've spent too much money lately, I know that.
I miss all my theater friends. And I don't think they miss me at all. I feel shitty right now, mostly about that.
Chris and Aaron, and Nick and Austin and Megan and Michelle, even Steve and Morgan. Even Jeremy. Christ.
current mood:  crappy
current music: A Little Bit of Shh>Lady Sovereign
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| Tuesday, October 31st, 2006
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2:48 pm - Why?
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Does everything have to be A) Unfair, and B) Confusing.
Why does he take her back? She's not treating him very well. And I have such guilt about telling people about Ben. I don't know. I don't think anyone will know it was me. But why did Mairi have to go and tell Sandra about his move? Jeeze. Hope she's having fun at the hospital.
current music: Public Warning>Lady Sovereign
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| Monday, October 23rd, 2006
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4:27 pm - Okay, second post of the day.
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So, this situation is extremely confusing to me.
I might like someone, to be referred to from here on out as HIM. So, I'm pretty sure that I like HIM. I am not sure that HIM likes me. Or that HIM likes anyone other than himself. Because while he's a funny, interesting, and generally nice guy, he's also SO egotistical. I mean REALLY.
Also, the person I have been hanging out with more often that anyone else lately used to like him. Until she decided not too, on account of the ego. So what would she think of me if I did form a relationship with this person.
And then there's the added problem of the end of semester. When he leaves and I stay. And he goes off into the wild blue yonder, and I'm here at school. I mean, I wouldn't mind him leaving at this point in time. I think that I could handle it, and part ways. But what if I'm wrong? What if I get way more emotionally involved, and things lead to things and I'm left here, competely depressed.
And then there's Guy B, who I'm not so attracted to, but who may be more attracted to me than Guy A. But he's really strange to try to figure out, and I DON"T KNOW!!!
CONFUSION!!!!
current mood:  crazy
current music: Nine to Five>The Ordinary Boys feat. Lady Sovereign
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2:05 pm - Bad me.
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I skipped class today. Partially because I didn't have my homework done, and partially because it felt really good. I mean, there's a little guilt, but not much. I have more or less rationalized it away. Now all I have to do today is go to my easy-peasy HTML class, and make sure that I'm all set for my 230 class tomorrow. This is a good week, minus the assingment I have to do for Honors.
Find and interview someone serving in Iraq.
I hate talking to people, especially when I have to ask them about themselves out of the blue. Interviews, I hate interviews.
But I have to do it. Maybe I can share Nate's Iraq person. Or make one up. But to do that, I'd have to actually know something about serving in Iraq. I can't talk to Brian. It would be really weird. I can't talk to Tiff. I left her behind with the candy store and Lynnea. Ach.
There's nothing else to do. I either talk to Evan or Nate, and share their person. And hopefully, I won't have to talk to the person.
It's a plan. We are go!
current mood:  lethargic
current music: Exsisting On A Crisis (Evelyn)>Bayside
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| Sunday, October 22nd, 2006
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11:58 pm - Sigh
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I feel like I'm being abandoned. Just as I get to know people, and like people, and I feel like we've got a really great group of friends...they start leaving.
Kyle and Pat are going to leave school to walk the Earth. April is leaving. Ben is leaving. That's only a few people, and I realize that I can't expect them to stay put, just to please me, rather than pursue their own life dreams, but I feel bad.
But I guess I just have to deal.
In other news, Rachel and Tim's relationship is more dysfuncional than ever. Whodathunk?!!
current music: Mad World>The Red Paintings
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| Saturday, October 14th, 2006
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5:18 pm - Before the concert...
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So, I'm going to see Evanescence tonight at The Rave. I'm excited, yeah, but I do have a certain amount to dread. I mean, I know that I'll probably have a fun time, and all, but what if I don't? What if something goes wrong, or someone gets hurt, or it's just not fun? I always have fond memories of concerts, but to be honest, there's always that time in the mosh pit where it's just too much. Sensory overload. Or my favorite song, with too much noise and people shoving their elbows in my face.
So, I'm excited, but apprehensive.
In other news, roommate is gone for the weekend. Oh Alli! I am out of the vodka!
I should go over to Tory's now, but I am dreading the coldness. It's sunny, yeah, but frigid.
Last night was pretty un-fun. So, I hung out with everyone, until it was time to go to the ballet. Addie's mom is okay, and her sister's okay (a little annoying. Well, a LOT annoying) but the ballet was boring. At the risk of sounding *gasp* uncultured, I will say that there were large chunks of it that I found boring. But, we made it through, and then had to wait for about twenty minutes to drive down two levels of parking structure to the street. But we made it through that too. And then we drove back here, where Addie and Steve and their friend Megan were to be loaded into the car to go home for the weekend.
So I came back upstairs, only to find no one fun to hang out with, except Jeremy and Tristan. And Tristan was having old-girlfriend problems, so that was depressing. And Jeremy was mute as usual. So I just went to bed.
So, this may be a pipe dream, but what if Jeremy likes me? Addie specifically told me that she likes him. I don't want to fuck things up with her, but I'm not going to just turn him down because of that, either. Do I uphold the bonds of sisterhood, and turn him down, or do I make some lame excuse to a friend who I find annoying sometimes, and who always has Steve to fall back on.
I don't really care either way right now, since nothing's going to happen
current mood:  cynical
current music: Jude Law and a Semester Abroad>Brand New
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| Thursday, September 28th, 2006
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10:44 am
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Last night, we all kinda voted to watch Requiem For A Dream. I was not adverse, since I am currently on a Jared Leto kick at the moment, even if he is a druggie.
But the thing is, for about 60% of that movie, I want more than anything else to be Jennifer Conolly. Up until the part where she has to screw her psychologist, or whatever. But until then, I don't know. She's pretty awsome, like, I wish I could like in Coney Island in an apartment with Jared Leto, and design clothes and do drugs.
For serious.
But drugs are bad, little kiddies. Don't do them.
They should show this movie instead of DARE.
current mood:  envious
current music: Hope Overture>Requiem For A Dream
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