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Erica

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Ditching the blurty [04 Dec 2004|01:31pm]
[ mood | cold ]
[ music | Three Doors Down~Loser ]

Sorry, but I think I am ditching the blurty..I'm moving on to bigger and better things.

Yep that's right, I have an lj now.

http://www.livejournal.com/users/someonelikeyoux/

Go there.

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Wow...wow [29 Nov 2004|06:32pm]
[ mood | crushed ]
[ music | Metallica~Enter Sandman ]

Wow...Mat didn't know me at all.

Well fuck you too.

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[29 Nov 2004|04:58pm]
[ mood | sad ]
[ music | Radiohead~Creep ]

Mat and I are no more.

Oh well, it was bound to happen sometime...it just wouldn't have worked.

It's too bad though...I liked him

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[23 Nov 2004|07:30pm]
[ mood | confused ]
[ music | Sublime~Bad Fish ]

I went to the wrestling thing today. Thanks to the most wonderful person in the entire world...Lauren. She talked me into going and is helping me through my time of utter confusion.

I saw Mat for about two seconds.

I saw Adam and adam. I am so confused.

Hung out with Jess and Heather.

Kris is an amazing wrestler.

My brother, sister-in-law, and nephew will be here in a few. I'm so excited.

Ugh! I'm so confused.

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Boomers! [20 Nov 2004|09:06pm]
[ mood | horny ]
[ music | The OC theme song~Phantom Planet ]

Hey!

Went to Boomers today with Mat, Jess, Kris, Gus, and Angelic. It was sort of a triple date thing.

Yeah, it was pretty fun. 'Cept sometimes I feel like I don't have anything to contribute to the conversation.

But whatever...that's my problem.

Yay! Got to kiss Mat, well sort of.

I just wanted to kiss him so bad ;)

Maybe I'm a horny kid...well not as horny as Jessica...no one is as horny as Jessica...but yeah I really wanna make-out with him...like for real. ;)

Yep.

That's about all at the moment.

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The New (less emo) Me [17 Nov 2004|09:47pm]
[ mood | determined ]
[ music | Everlong~Foo Fighters ]

Okay I feel exactly the same as yesterday...however, I'm trying to develop a new outlook on things.

Starting tomarrow I, Erica, promise to:

1. Go back on a diet.

2. Be extra flirty with Mat.

3. Be less flirty with Adam.

4. Give myself a boost of self-confidence, even if it is fake.

5. Talk less about boys.

6. Be more outspoken. (Just not about boys.)

7. Not wait for Mat at lunch. (If he comes, he comes.)

8. Exercise!!!

9. Work a little harder on school work. (So my mom doesn't kick my ass)

10. Not think so much...

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I'm being emo [16 Nov 2004|05:23pm]
[ mood | restless ]
[ music | Green Day American Idiot CD ]

Oy vey!

Don't really have much to say except that I feel...funny?

I feel self concious, not good enough, not witty enough, not pretty enough...

I don't know.

I feel like putting on black lipstick and listening to The Cure.

Hehe, I'm such a loser.

I don't know if Mat and I are going out. I didn't think so, but Jessica (the all knowing) said so.

I probably should find that out.

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[14 Nov 2004|07:22pm]
[ mood | discontent ]
[ music | Learn to Fly~Foo Fighters ]

I went to Jaime's today.

We got to catch up on things. Yay!

Mat called and said he was sick and he like passed out and stuff.

I feel so stupid...I got all worked up.

I can't put into words what a fucking idiot I am.

Ugh I deserve to be shot.

Somehow I still feel shity. Maybe I'm just bummed.

Oh well, hopefully I see him later this week when he feels better.

Well, Jaime and I had a good time today!

We went to the lobster park and walked around three times. wOOt...workout!!

Then we walked back to her house then to Jamba Juice and Barnes and Nobles (Is it Noble or Nobles?)

Then to this park way behind Panera Bread...then back to Jaime's.

Ugh, I feel stupid still. Stupid and shity.

Nothing feels good.

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[10 Nov 2004|11:19pm]
[ mood | happy ]
[ music | Watching the Daily Show ]

Just got off the phone with Mat.

Almost two hours I think.

I talked to him last night for a long time too.

How can talking about everything yet nothing at all be so much fun?

Yeah, I really like him.

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Life is Good [09 Nov 2004|06:55pm]
[ mood | ecstatic ]
[ music | One~Metallica ]

I have refrained from writing anything about Mat in my journal for the past few days now because I was afraid to jinx anything that might happen. Infact, I have refrained from telling anyone, except for a tiny comment I made to Cody. Well, I have to write this in here.

Today in journalism, we weren't doing our work again...Wait this actually all started in spanish...

Okay in Spanish Jessica was talking to Andre, and then she turned to me.

J: Mat likes you.
E: Really?
J: Yeah
E:Really?
J: Yeah, and I told him you were too good for him.
E: Really?
J: Why, do you like him?
E: *blushes*
J: Aw that's so cute! *turns back to Andre*
E: *taps shoulder*
J: *turns around*
E: Really?

Well, it went something like that.

Then in Journalism we weren't doing our work like usual, and we went over to the comps. We signed on to a newspaper accounts that are for newspaper ONLY! Yeah...right...

So he sent me and email that was cute and funny, and I wrote him so really cheesy thing back. Then he asked me what I was doing Saturday night, and if i wanted to go to the movies or something.

Score!

Needless to say I said yes, and we exchanged numbers.

Life is pretty damn good.

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Not Half Bad... [08 Nov 2004|10:21pm]
[ mood | grateful ]
[ music | Watching Reno 911 ]

I'll tell ya, being so moody is really taking a toll on me!

Oh well though because today was awesome.

Not that anything happened, it's just that stupid little things that make me happy.

School wasn't terrible...didn't hurt that there was no Spanish today!

Journalism was suprisingly cool. I finally got to edit articles! wOOt!

Talked to lots a people online; Rachel, Hilary, Sara, Danny, Daniel etc.

Danny called, no akward silences.

Cody called. Yay! That made me happy.

Lauren came over to use our comp and we listened to The OC theme song...shes gonna figure it out on piano and I'm gonna get the tabs for guitar and we are gonna ROCK OUT! Another wOOt!

So other then Fredricka the fish dying and my favorite belt breaking, today wasn't half bad.

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Boy Next Door [07 Nov 2004|08:56pm]
[ mood | indifferent ]
[ music | Decendants~I'm not a loser ]

Take the quiz: "what type of boy do you like?"

boy nextdoor
your kind is the boy nextdoor he is mr. perfect and is very sweet and romantic

How ironic, huh?

Adam...

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It's the only chance I have to feel good even though I feel bad... [06 Nov 2004|11:35am]
[ mood | moody ]
[ music | 40 oz to Freedom~Sublime ]

I have this weird "craving" to get totally wasted.

Drown my sorrows...

Whatever.

I can't wait till Monday so I don't have the time to sit around and think.

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Wish upon a star... [04 Nov 2004|10:20pm]
[ mood | lonely ]
[ music | Green Day~Good Riddance ]

Starlight, starbright

First star I see tonight

I wish I may

I wish I might

For the wish that I will make tonight

*I wish I wasn't so alone*

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Halloween Weekend [01 Nov 2004|05:03pm]
[ mood | pleased ]
[ music | Catch 22 9mm and a 3 piece suit ]

The weekend was pretty cool! It was a little shaky at times, but awesome at others! Friday night I volunteered with Heather at the Tradewinds Park haunted house thing. It made me realize that I don't want kids...ever. They are little monsters! Then Saturday morning I didn't do much of anything but fight with my mom. Then Lauren came over and we hung out for bout 5 minutes before Hil Clo called. So we went down the street and met them ad Heather. We were sitting out on the driveway anticipating the arrival of Ericka. She came, said hi, then left. But she came back later. So then we went out to Mulligan's for dinner and then went to the Walk for a little bit. Then we were back at Hil and Clo's and Ericka was talking to Andrew.(Of Course!) he came over but she PROMISED he would only be there for a few minutes. We went outside because we wanted to meet him. We were all laughing at Hilary in the window when I turned around and Ericka was looking at us dully and all I heard he say was"...yeah, but they are acting like they're 2." So after hearing that we were a little pissed, and decided to go inside. She didn't even look up. We were watching them out of the window for a while until they drove off. Words could not even explain how upset and hurt we were. They were gone for about 45 minutes So when she came back she apologized and was on the verge of tears. For once though, I stood my ground. We told her how upset we were but of course we still love her and of course we'll get over it. She was (If I do say so myself) a little immature about it. She was like "Okay, well maybe I should go then." Ugh. Of course I still love her though.
Well things were all better in the morning though. And it was Halloween! We watched the Texas Chainsaw Masacre and decorated a cake. That was funny. Then we watched the Exorcist and then it was the party! Everyone came over. All the little ones were so cute! I ate too much though. Then we went down to Lauren's to tell her what time to come. Adam was there so I asked him to come trick-or-treating with us.

He accepted!

Lauren really didn't want him to come. Anyway...we went back to Hil and Clo's and began the proccess of getting ready. Haha. (By the way, Ericka, her mother, joyce(little kid's joyce) and neighboor lady Cindy all said how good I looked. I must admit, I was flattered. I probably look like crap now cause I ate way too much this weekend but oh, how life goes on.) Then the first few trick-or-treaters came. The Lauren and Adam came. Lauren looked so awesome! She was a truck driver, it was hilarious! Adam was a Lacrosse player. Ahh it was so much fun!!!!! Adam and I were singing Sublime and Eminem and laughing our asses off at Blue Collar jokes! I think Hil, Clo, Heather, and Lauren were alittle P-oed that me and Ericka were talking to him so much. I know, I'm a hypocrite and a bitch but...

I really like him now.

He asked me if I wanted to watch a movie. So we went back to their house and Lauren had to do homework so we watched this Bill Engvall thing (He's so funny!) It was really cool.

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I'm a failure [26 Oct 2004|09:50pm]
[ mood | disappointed ]
[ music | Lipgloss and Black~Atreyu ]

I took the test to become a refferee tonight...and I failed...by two. I am so pissed. Actually the feeling is kind of a mix between being incredibly pissed off and deeply sadened. I thought I would cry but thank god jaime called so I had to call her back and didn't have the chance. Although talking to her just made me kinda sad. She was helping me with my monologues when it hit me...we don't go to the same school any more! Obviously I realized this before, I'm not as dumb as I look, but it really hit me tonight. She was talking about all these people that I don't know and I was having to explain to her who all the people in my stories were. It was quite depressing. Well at least she has that Jon to pass notes and talk with...he is really awesome. This also made me realize that although I'm not doing too terribly on friends this year (yeah I actually have a few) but none of them are friends with each other. It's kinda cool cause i get to hang out with all different types of people...but it's also a little sad. I've always wanted that little clique of friends, as cliche as that may sound. Oh whatever, now I'm just rambling. I could probably use some sleep.

By the way...Adam is way to good for me...I should stop thinking about and flirting with me before I do something stupid.

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Insomnia [24 Oct 2004|12:50am]
[ mood | flirty ]
[ music | Die, Die, my Darling~The Misfits ]

I can't sleep...hence the title.

I'm bored so I felt like putting this in here...

Masked Emotions

Why do you wear your heart on your sleeve,
Then complain when it's broken?
You're like an open book-
with a few pages missing...
You think I'm perfect.
If you only knew me
You'd see I'm as fucked up as you,
I just don't want people to know.

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All it takes is 5 minutes... [20 Oct 2004|09:17pm]
[ mood | depressed ]
[ music | She loves me not~Papa Roach ]

Today was perfect up until a little while ago.

I don't know why, it just was. I was a little down this morning, but then I talked to Adam and for some reason, I felt better. Things just kinda got better from there.

The pep rally was stupid but in a funny, amusing sort of way. And I was really looking forward to the football game. Jaime was going, Lauren and Alex and all them, Danny (not that i would have probably even talked to him), Adam...it was gonna be awesome!

Then it just had to rain. Of course it did, because nothing can ever go right in my life.

Then depression sunk in.

It was even about the fucking football game it was just about...everything. Before I knew it, had mascara running down my cheeks and everything was just so off. I swear, I must be bipolar.

I know, it's so pathetic.
I'm so pathetic.
Why am I so pathetic and helpless?
I hate myself.

I don't know what I was even crying about anymore, well yes I do, I just don't feel like explaining it right now.

Back to school tomarrow...back to putting on a happy face and pretending everything's ok even though I'm so fucked up I don't even know what's wrong with me...

Back to pretending...

I'm so tired of pretending...

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I had to put this in here! [18 Oct 2004|07:45pm]
[ mood | drained ]
[ music | Bicycle~Queen ]

Jenn wrote this!! Isn't it so true...it made me and Ricky laugh!

"Homedogs, homeboys, brothas:" Are they all poseurs?

Ok. There are the homedogs, the homeboys, the brothas. All in our schools. But, really, there ARE NO SUCH THINGS as "brothas," "homeboys," or "homedogs." Why, you ask? We are in Coral Springs, not "in da hood." Every day, I see people, especially those "tuff" males, use these terms whenever greeting their friends or talking about someone else. However, it is very irritating, as we do not live in the ghetto and everyone that attends school in this city, no, this county, knows, or should know, proper English. Right?

All of those guys, and even girls (hey, I can’t exclude them, either), that use these so-called "ghetto" terms are kidding themselves. Nobody in this city of ours lives anywhere near a true ghetto. The people and city around them are not ghetto, no matter how much they try to make themselves and the people around them as. Webster defines "ghetto" as "a city slum inhabited by a minority group who live there due to social or economic pressure." By talking like a "brotha from da hood," they’re telling everyone that that is where they live. Which, of course, is not. Have them point out their homes to you, all the while adjusting their $50 Phat Farm pants or fixing their silver bling-bling around their neck.

I’m all for slang. Sometimes it can be cool to use, depending on the word. But these guys, do they think that it’s cool to talk in this manner? A notable expression that my own "gang of sistas" can’t stand is the use of the exclamation "Hell, no!" or even better, the plural form of this exclamation: "Hells no!" Whatever happened to saying, "No way, man!" or "You think I’m stupid?" As for greetings, "What’s up?" or "Hey, guys" always remain classic and spans many generations. These are normal greetings that use terminology NOT in Russell Simmons’ Def Jam Dictionary of Terms. These are actual words people that don’t live in the ghetto use. Of which, I reiterate, they and we don’t live in.

No one here is from the ghetto. So why talk like it? It shows a lack of maturity and respect when they speak like that. There’s a term, poseur, that I guess can be considered a slang term. Basically, it means someone posing as someone else that they are not. I can apply it to these people. They are pretending to be someone they are not. And this someone is not someone that will take him or her far in life.

So my message? Stop being poseurs and be yourself. Not the self you put on to impress people, but the real self that you live in.

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God hates me. [18 Oct 2004|06:15pm]
[ mood | jealous ]
[ music | I want to break free~Queen ]

I swear, there's like a fucking conspiracy when it comes to my so called "love life." It's just not fair. I thought that starting high school and looking the way I do now (which is way different then I did in middle school...but that's a story for another time...) it might, just maybe be easier to meet nice guys and having the possibility of them actually liking me back. I've now come to the conclusion that nothing good like that will ever happen to me. There's this really hot kid in my spanish class and now that i've talked to him, I think he's so awesome!! He's smart (he was in GEM and stuff), and hes funny, and hes a little on the abnormal side...he's perfect. Not that I ever had even a 1% chance with him (cause he's a god and I'm not) but he has a girlfriend. Then there was Danny...(once again...a story for another time) he has a girlfriend. It sucks too, cause I kinda liked him. Then I spotted tight pants kid...he is gorgeous. But I'm pretty sure he's a stoner...plus, he has no idea i exist. Okay so for awhile I gave up. Talked to this kid Andrew...not that I liked him or anything, he was just hot..plus he was cool cause he had the balls to dye his hair and wear all this eyeliner and stuff...but, he has a girlfriend. Then there's Adam...once again not someone I liked that much (well, maybe a little) but he's 17...it could work I guess ;) but Lauren told me that (drumroll please) she thinks he has a girlfriend. Why does this always happen to me? Why can't I, for once, just find a nice guy that I like and he likes me back? Yes, I am a hopeless romantic...and yes I am looking for the guy that makes me see fireworks...but not now... Is that too much to ask for? Apparently it is.

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