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Monday, August 18th, 2003
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11:54a - Back where I come from....
On Friday night when I see her out
Even in a crowd she's hard to miss
There ain't a man breathing air who wouldn't stop and stare
And the best part is
She doesn't know she's got it
She doesn't know how bad we want it
She doens't know she's got it
And that's what's getting to me
Blake Shelton
Forgive me, especially for all the people reading this that aren't country fans. I'm in a very country mood, and I think it's anticipating my short trip this weekend. I'm so excited to be going HOME. Though I'm from Ohio, I associate more with the South than anything, and I love being with my family!
In fact, I'm starting to wonder what would have happened if I would have transferred schools when I was supposed to. Originally, I was only going to attend Ohio State for a year, and then transfer when I got my grades higher to University of Florida, University of Georgia, or George Washington. I could have easily done it winter quarter of my freshman year.I look back and wonder why I didn't do it. I think more or less I was able to find my nitch at Ohio State.
Though I don't regret staying at Ohio State, when I'm applying to law schools next year, believe me, a lot of them are not going to be in state. I made a list of schools that I really wanted to attend, George Washington being at the top of my list, and then Emory being further down. I'm ready to get out of Ohio. Granted, if I end up getting into Ohio State's law school, I probably will go, but at the same time, I don't want to limit myself on where I'm going to be in two years. I don't know what's going to happen this school year.
Speaking of the school year, I'm not all that excited about it. There are a few things that I'm very, very excited about. One, is the Makio. I haven't worked on yearbook in a really long time, and to be offered a section editor position just based on my credentials, is something that makes me soo happy. I just opened an e-mail from Ben, the editor-and-cheif talking about upcoming meetings, what my role will be, etc. and it makes me very happy to be getting back into something that I truly enjoy. Can we say a potential editor again? Wahoo! I'm soo excited!!!
Other things are very aggravating. I have e-mailed and tried to contact people about certain things that I'm responsibile for finishing with their help, and it's hard for me to actually get a response from them. I'm glad to see that there are some organizations that are organized enough to send a response back to me. I'm a planner, and I need at least a month's notice before I'm able to do anything. Seriously. How on earth are people going to survive in the real world if they can't even make contacts with people in their life now?
I was reading one of my sister's journals today, and I've got to agree with her on having a lot of second thoughts lately. Especially about the sorority in general. For one, the money is getting tight. I want to move out next summer and have my own apartment, (in Grandview preferably) and with the sorority dues, I'm not too sure if I'll be able to do that. Then, I'm saving for a new car and I have books and stuff every quarter to look forward to paying.
More or less, I don't know if I'm satisfied with what I've been paying for. First off, I haven't heard from hardly any of my sisters except for a couple- and for those couple, I love you guys. It makes me upset that when others choose to go out with their DZ sisters, they neglect that hey, I'm in town too- did you even think of asking me to go? Same for other sisters that I know are in town that probably would have gone as well.
It's so petty. And it's even more petty that we, the sorority sisters, try to play off this act that there aren't any cliques, that everyone is so close. That's a lie if I ever heard one. Yes, we're united because we all have the same label and the same ritualistic bonds. But at the same time, a lot of us aren't connected in any other way. And I'm not a label type of person- except for maybe my shoes, but at the same time I don't like to label myself as distinctly apart of one group and not another. I don't like that. Period.
When I think of sisters, to be truthful, I think of Abby. We're connected by mind, by heart, and by strength. Even from Bowling Green, she's here for me. In many ways I've been thinking about whether I decided too quick to join a sorority, and whether I should have looked at others. I've met so many people this summer that are involved in other sororities, and they're great. And I hate how other members of other sororities like to stereotype the other sororities- I know I'm guilty, but the girls that I have met in other sororities like Theta and Kappa are really sweet and I'm sure they're impression of DZ has changed after meeting me. At least, I hope.
My best friend Lissa is a Theta, and she didn't join until around the same time I did. And she loves it- but at the same time, she's at a different school that thrives on it's Greek Community, and where the percentage of the school's population that is in a Greek organization is a lot higher than Ohio State's. I think if I were at a different school, I probably would have thought otherwise about joining.
Last night was a good night with my girl, Lissa. I was so glad to see her again before she goes back to school. We had a blast making wisecracks at Mike and Charlie, and watching some awesome movies. Mike rented Casablanca, which is one of my all-time favorite movies. I was surprised that he rented it- I don't remember talking much about my taste in movies, much less classic movies with him. It's very interesting that he had a hunch about what to rent. He told me, "Come on, Shannon. You think it's that hard to pick out a movie that you'll like?" Well, okay, so I'm a pretty easy going person that can put up with a lot, and I put up with his Osbournes the other night. But it's amazing how much a person can perceive about you even from just hanging around you for awhile.
I thought about that the other day before I left to go meet Lissa, Charlie and Mike. Jake came over to have some of my Mom's 'award-winning' cake and he was talking to my parents about what he was doing, his parents, Lauren and Alex. And he said, "To be truthful, Shannon and Alex know me the best." And in all honesty, Jake really does know me the best. He knows how I'm going to react to things, he knows what I'm going to say, and the weirdest thing is, he is awesome at picking out clothes for me. In his words, he can look at something and think it looks ugly, but he says "somehow, you pull it off, no matter how ugly it is." I guess that should be a compliment. It's good to know I have friends like that. :-)
Hmm... I need to get ready for the day. I think I have a dental appointment, but I'm kind of hoping that it's on Wednesday because I have a lot to do, such as spend some quality time at the library, visit Leanne, tan, and then drop some of Kelli's stuff off at her apartment that she left at Lissa's. 3 more days until I can horseback ride, drive a classic corvette, and have some good ole southern food! Wahoo!
current mood:  okay
current music: She Doesn't Know She's Got It- Blake Shelton (comment on this)
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1:09p - Shutting the door... for good.
You look so peaceful sleeping
You don't know that I'm leaving, but I'm gone
But I did my best to beat them
But in my head, the demons said move on
You wake up, you're gonna curse my name
But as some time goes by
I hope and pray
When you think of me
Remember the way that I used to be
Remember the times I held you tenderly
Remember the way that I loved you
I think about the night I met you
I swore I'd never forget you
Well, I won't
I think about the way you live and breath
Beside my dreams forever
You'll be better when I'm gone, better when I'm gone
Cause I know you're gonna fall in love again
I'm sorry this is how it has to end
But when you think of me
Remember the way I used to be
Remember the times I held you tenderly
Remember the way I love you
When you think of me
Cause I pick up these bags and turn around
I say a little prayer and hope somehow
That when you think of me
Remember the way I used to be
Remember the times I held you tenderly
Remember the way that I love you
- Mark Wills
Lissa and I were talking a minute ago about the summer, and how it's sad that it's going to end. To account the best times, I would have to reflect back and say:
-July 4th with Brooke and her fam, and then Kelli's.
-Boat with Lissa and Kelli
-Having no power, and moving out for a day or two to use someone else's, while enjoy their company. ;-)
-Dave concert with Sarah and Adam
-Abbygail's visit, and seeing my high school friends again
-Hanging out with Karen, Jake, Sarah and Kristen
- Polo's with Amy, Mike, Sarah & Jessica
and many more times that I can't even begin to describe. But it's going to end, and there are a lot of things that are ending. Not because I want them to, but because I know that it's better for my sake that they do.
This song just describes everything. And it's hard to leave something behind that's just lingered for, well a year or two, but at the same time, it was my choice. I've begun to realize that it has always been my choice, and I guess I didn't listen to people that gave me their advice on it. Chris, you would be happy to know that I walked out and shut the door for good. :)
current mood:  recumbent
current music: When You Think of Me- Mark Wills (comment on this)
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