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Thursday, February 27th, 2003
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12:31a - Pigs, town, work, the norm.
I'm sitting here and I'm not feeling the greatest. I kind of have a bit of a sore throat, and I think I'm getting a cold because I seem to have the symptoms of it. Holly is a bit sick too, so I'm wondering if us hanging out spread some germs. Oh, well.
We dissected in bio today to my dismay. After talking to Spellmire about what we would have missed on Monday because class was cancelled, he never mentioned the whole dissecting thing. But I took the situation in a positive manner- if I was ever going to be a major in biology and further my career in med school or something, I'd better see if I could handle it. It was a baby pig- cute, we had a spotted one. I didn't do any of the slicing and dicing, but I was cool with it. Some people were aggravated by the whole pig and it's parts, but I was like, "Dude, it's a spleen. Humans have them too, only there's is smaller." Silly people.
Well, I'm going to response to an e-mail via my web journal. But before I go into it, here are some things that I live by to play into the type of person I am now.
As one grows older, one sees the impossibility of imposing your will on the chaos with brute force.
But if you're patient, there may come that moment when while eating an apple,
the solution presents itself politely and says 'Here I am.'
- Albert Einstein
You cannot always control what goes on outside. But you can always control what goes on inside.
Real magic in relationships means an absence of judgment of others.
Present-moment living, getting in touch with your "now," is at the heart of effective living. When you think about it, there really is no other moment you can live. Now is all there is, and the future is just another present moment to live when it arrives. One thing is certain, you cannot live it until it does appear.
Everything you are against weakens you. Everything you are for empowers you.
Examine what you believe to be impossible, then change your belief.
There is no stress in the world, only people thinking stressful thoughts and then acting on them.
-Dr. Wayne Dyer
I received an e-mail from someone from my past, and she told me basically that I was a shallow bitch that wasn't a true friend and that I constantly change my friends. (For those of you who know me, I'm sure you can guess who we're talking about) Well, here's my response: I don't see myself as shallow whatsoever. I'm not an arrogant person, but I do know what my faults are and shallow isn't one of them. I think you're using the word poorly:
shal?low
adj. shal?low?er, shal?low?est
Measuring little from bottom to top or surface; lacking physical depth.
Lacking depth of intellect, emotion, or knowledge: "This is a shallow parody of America" (Lloyd Rose).
PERSONALLY, I think I overanalyze situations to the point where I'm grasping ideas from various sources- whether it be my father, Thoreau or books about psychology and philosophy that I have read. I believe that I have intellect. I find myself constantly running back and forth and connecting things that I learn with actual life, so for her to refer to me as someone lacking depth, I think she needs to check her dictionary and/or theasuarus and rephrase what she would like to accuse me of being. As far as being a bitch, I will give her that in some respects- I wasn't communicative with her, and that was for a variety of reasons, which I believe are liable reasons to be a bitch- she wasn't telling the truth about anything. First she tells me that she's moving to Kentucky- next thing I know she's engaged and living in Hilliard. And don't even get me started on the whole summer deal in which she seemed to take pride in making my life the most dramatic and complicated thing and cause riffs amongst people that I knew and liked.
On the friends aspect, yes I have many friends. But isn't that a quality to be thankful for, rather than insulted for? Thank you for noticing my wide variety of friends. I hate to say that she referred to me as always changing friends- I would have you know, that my best friends include Brooke, of 11+ years, Abby, of 7+ years, Chris, of almost 2 years, Jules, of almost 5 years, Jake, of almost 2 years, and James, of almost 6 years. Those people are the people that I will consistantly go to if I need anything. As for the other people, such as my sorority sisters and people I meet in my classes, maybe we'll develop strong relationships like these last couple. Do I know if we will? No. It's just a hope. And the sorority just gives me friends, sisters, to consistantly turn to if I need anything. It's a strong bond, and I'm sorry if she resents it.
But I think rather than just proving her wrong, I have to actually look at the situation as a whole. For the most part, I didn't feel like I could trust her anymore. But, at the same time I was growing as a person and figuring out what I wanted to be like, and what I wanted to do with my life. My interests gradually changed, and my mindsets changed over the time period that I knew her. So, more than anything- she can call me as many names as she wants to- I don't care. I just know that while we were friends, we had an awesome time together, but based on emotional differences and differences in our lifestyles and morals, I don't think we could have sustained a strong friendship for years later. What we had in store for our lives was completely different- it was like two different worlds. I'm not into the petty shit from high school- that's just how it is.
To exist is to change; To change is to mature;
To mature is to create oneself endlessly.
-Henri Bergson
Good nite all. :)
current mood:  drained
current music: The Anthem- Good Charlotte (1 comment |comment on this)
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