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Wednesday, May 28th, 2003

Subject: Subject for today Time: 3:57 pm. Mood: indescribable. Music: nada.

today had its ups and downs. Not much to say. Im eating a han sandwhich and it tastes real good. Im really bored too. So bored. Someone said to me, "u have no life" alright thanks.. they were joking, i think. But he shouldnt have said that to me because now im beginning to believe that. I mean i am incredibly bored right now. I guess i dont have a life.. im going to go do my homework... and contiue being bored lol. later days.

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Subject: hesseca Time: 3:37 pm. Mood: bouncy. Music: Stacie Oricco-what a life.

Good Afternoon. Haha. I have been like hyper ever since after lunch for some reason.. but it was a weird hyper, like a corny hyper. Haha. Omg and it is soo hot out today, i had gym last period. OH and ok u might member from like a couple months ago, i liked, someone haha.. mike. Yeah def. dont like him anymore! i dont even know why i ever did. But my point of this is, i havent liked him for months now, and i noticed today that he like only talks to me when he wants sumthing.. or like idk.. but then he acts like we are real good friends or sumthing, like in gym hes like jess peppe can i use ur stick cuz ya know were good buds in spanish class.. yeah right. Idk y but hes just annoying.. and too stuck up. He can be nice thou, like when we had band practice and i missed F and G, and he lemme copy this like 20page packet, and just he can be nice, but hes annoying. Oh well, i dont care, i also noticed today that there are some wierd people in NMHS haha But i also realized that thats what keeps things interesting. lol. Oh back to the subject before this.. i dont know who i like. I havent known who i like for a while. I dont have a crush. Im crush-less. =( I guess its better that way tho! haha.MR BARTENDER just came on the radio! woo hoo this song gets me in a great mood, which would be bad cuz im already hyper. What else do i have to say?? Oh this morning i missed the bus, and so as my mommy is driving me to school i remembered that last night i went driving with Chet, and i put my permit in my pocket, and i never took it out of my pocket.. So im like mom dont do the wash today! and shes like i just put a load in before we left. So sure enuff.. my permit is like gone, destroyed. Im suppose to test for my liscence on June 25th, and hopefully i still can. Thursday night my dad is taking me to get a new one or sumthing, so i get to miss the concert thing. Haha. Maybe i can still go tho. Anewayz have u ever seen the Brendan Lenard show or whatever?? Its so hilarous! And switched. My new fav. tv channel is ABC FAMILY.. i think thats what its called. Well its channel 53. lol. Friday is spring Fest.. yay! actually i dont really care, but i wanted to have a friend come home with my after spring fest but i have a flute lesson.. maybe after that. Im not sure who yet, i have a few people in mind.. Wow im really skipping around and mumbling about nada! And now im getting cold. BRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR I should probably do my homework. Oh and i gotta leave for band practice early today because i wanna show my mom that i can back into a parking. haha its fun! i know imm a dork. Oh yeah so me chrissy koren and brenda had our team name be PPAG today for bio, and sam and kris are like oh that stands for piss pee ass g... haha cough: pot heads! But sams name was poop is ok, so idk bout them! PPAG actually stands for our last names. So my point of this is that we have a "gang" haha not really, but we pretend and its called PPAG, and tomorrow im suppose to wear a pink bandana.. haha righhht i hate bandanas but oh well not like any of them r gonna remember anyways lol. well i gg now and do sum homework and stuuuuuuuuuuffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffff bye*

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Time: 9:03 am. Mood: grateful. Music: lucy woodward cd.

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO PARADE!! woo hoo... i was def. not looking foward in going out there marching in the pouring rain. SO anewayz yesterday night i got back from PA. We arrived in PA on Saturday and we went to my Uncle's restaurant and the food was delicious. Then we went to the mall, omg they have sooo many malls, outlets, shopping centers, everything!! from Chuckie Cheese to Boscovs, theyve got it. You name a store, they got it. So at the mall i got some soccer shorts and one tee for a Sleepover Soccer camp im going to in the beginning of August. I also got a tee that says Star Watchers Motel, and a tank that says Band Camp "drum to our beat" or sumthing similar to that. Then we hadda go pay a quarter and watch a train go around the tracks because my 3 year old cousin is obsessed with trains lol. His name is Camerin, and he is the cutest kid i have ever seen. He really is. So then we went back to my Aunt and Uncles HUGE house. And my sister n brother went in the hot tub with my cousin and mom, and me and my aunt watched some tv and talked. Then my uncle came home with a box of chicken wings, they were sooo addicting. Then i went to bed. Ok so then on Sunday we all got up, me and my bro and sis, hung out with Camerin in his play room... that kid has toys after toys, im telling you.. geez. So my brother and sis were in heaven.. they were having more fun with the toys then Camerin was having!! haha. SO Camerin has a huge bag of fake bugs and there was a realistic looking snake, so i put it on my brother when he wasnt looking, and my sis walks in and is like "Justin whats on ur back" then i say "justin dont move" Of course, being the dumbass that he is, he starts jumping around and throws his shirt off of himself. haha It was the funniest, and then Camerin wanted me to give him the snake so i did, and Camerin took the snake and put it on his shoulder and tehn started screaming and jumping around, just as Justin did, and then Camerin threw off his shirt. It was hilarious. SO anewayz when everyone was ready we went out to Target and Circuit City. At target i got a bikini top that has stripes on it, and then i got pink swim shorts. Dont worry it does match! .....well to me it does. I also got a couple more pairs of soccer shorts. Then we went to wendys then Circuit City, and all cds are only $9.99 yesterday and today. SO my mom,let us all pick out two each. I got Lucy Woodward and Kelly Clarkson. Then we went back to their house and humg out for a while and then drove 6hrs in the car back to good ol Ct. Ok i gg now because i havent eaten breakfast yet, and if i dont eat breakfast, i seriosuly will barf.. yeah so i feel so sick and i think im about too.... im gonna go eat... later

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Time: 4:26 pm. Mood: cranky.

Well i just wanna start off by saying, that I AM AN ACTRESS... everyone is an actor actually. "All the world is a stage" Ok i think i better explain. I just wanted to say that im not always what i appear. I may seem happy when im with my friends, but im not. I just feel the need to put a smile on my face, because everyone would rather talk to someone with a smile on their face then someone with a frown. So since i always feel left out, i have to try to find a way back in. So i act, i pretend like im having a great life and stuff.. but did u notice the word act?? I think its just the weather or sumthing.. but im just bluer then ever lately.

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Subject: What do you think im writting about... good guess Time: 7:57 pm. Mood: stressed. Music: MATCHBOX 20.. yay!.

I noticed that my journal entries are always bad... ALL I WANT IS TO HAVE A GOOD JOURNAL ENTRY!! But that isnt going to happen unless i have a good day, and the last time i had a good day was God knows when. I cried so much today.. i cant really explain why. except that i feel so left out, alone and INSECURE. I have absolutly NO confidence, NONE. Its one of the worst feelings in the world. Besides, being alone and left out. To go into this in more detail.. i am alone. I just dont feel it, i am. I mean my family.. i hate them, and they hate me. My friends.. i mean they all left me... well like either they have newer and better best friends this year, or they all have boyfriends, and what do i have? i have myself.. and its not fun. I just wanna feel loved and feel like AT LEAST ONE FREAKIN person cares about me. One of my friends wanted to know whats wrong, and she said shes there for me, and then she starts by saying, "oh i know exactly how u feel, im going thru the same thing.. " and she went on, and u know what? im not trying to sound mean, but she doesnt have that bad of a life, and the problems that she is having now are ALL HER FAULT like about her friends hating her and guy troubles.. well if she was a better girlfriend, and a better friend.. ugh.. she treats her friends and boyfriends like shit.. im really not friends with her, and im sick of hearing other people talk shit about her when they r actually her friends.. they act like friends to her face, but behind her back they r trash talkers..but newayz she has no idea what im going thru. Another friend [i was shocked] really cared tho and really wanted to know what was wrong and they really did care... it made me feel that someone cares a little. But then a few people told me that i shouldnt be upset because i have plenty of friends and dont worry about guys, because i should just be living hs up and not stressing over them... NEWS FLASH... i have NO friends... well no friends thats truely care bout me.. no close friends... everyone has their best friends.. their REAL close friends, i dont and i dont have a boyfriend.. and no family ither.. i have NOTHING. Thats why i feel alone. So i watched this movie yesterday about this guy with an extrmely large nose.. thats how it caught my attention cuz i can relate.. but so everyone kind of looks down on him and describe him as the guy with the big nose, and it hurts his feelings and he just wants to get surgery.. but the surgeon is his friend and wont do it because the surgeon believes that he has that nose for a reason. So i was thinking about the point to the movie and about what my mom once told me. She once said that, "God puts all the obstacles in front of you as a challenge, to see if/how u will make it." So then my misson must be to overcome alll these obstacles in front of me... but where do i start? how do i start? I have no clue. But i guess when the time is right to overcome this setbacks on front of me.. i will. Maybe i should just wait until the right time. I dunno... im just sick of being sad, i have been sad for way too long.. and i just want to be happy. Plus besides stressing over my school, guy, friend, & family life, now i can add driving, getting a job, finding happiness, finding love, finding forgiveness, finding confidence, going on a diet, eating healthy, doing about 100 projects. the big sophmore project, finals, memorial day, and living with no more Everwood... ok so i needa go now because its 8:30 almost and i needa start all my hw... later oh and if anyone were to read this.. my dad restarted my computer and everything got deleted off of it... he did it on purpose cuz there was a HUGE problem with it... so i needa new email... what do u think.... dreamingirl649 or soccergirl649 or thats all i have thoguth so far. Give me ideas any1

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Subject: Here we go... Time: 3:10 pm. Mood: disappointed.

Well i've pretty much had the most depressing week that i've had in a long time.. oh and its not even over yet.. still a whole 24hrs left to go. I just feel so alone... i just wish i had someone who cared. A friend would be nice, oh and a boyfriend, even better. Lets get real tho. I dont want to go into detail for many reasons so i will just say that i HATE feeling the way i have lately. I wish i was better then i am.

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Time: 2:18 pm. Mood: productive. Music: Unwell by Matchbox20.

I love this song, Unwell by Matchbox 20.. i cant stop listening to it!! I can relate to most of the lyrics to this song too.. and rob thomas isnt that bad looking ;) All day staring at the ceiling Making friends with shadows on my wall All night hearing voices telling me That I should get some sleep Because tomorrow might be good for something Hold on Feeling like I'm headed for a breakdown And I don't know why But I'm not crazy, I'm just a little unwell I know right now you can't tell But stay awhile and maybe then you'll see A different side of me I'm not crazy, I'm just a little impaired I know right now you don't care But soon enough you're gonna think of me And how I used to be...me I'm talking to myself in public Dodging glances on the train And I know, I know they've all been talking about me I can hear them whisper And it makes me think there must be something wrong with me Out of all the hours thinking Somehow I've lost my mind But I'm not crazy, I'm just a little unwell I know right now you can't tell But stay awhile and maybe then you'll see A different side of me I'm not crazy, I'm just a little impaired I know right now you don't care But soon enough you're gonna think of me And how I used to be I've been talking in my sleep Pretty soon they'll come to get me Yeah, they're taking me away But I'm not crazy, I'm just a little unwell I know right now you can't tell But stay awhile and maybe then you'll see A different side of me I'm not crazy, I'm just a little impaired I know right now you don't care But soon enough you're gonna think of me And how I used to be...me Yeah, how I used to be How I used to be Well, I'm just a little unwell How I used to be How I used to be I'm just a little unwell

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Subject: hell yea Time: 10:22 pm. Mood: lazy. Music: hey ma-cam'ron.

hey- im in the mood to fill out surveys, and this one looks fun .. so here we go... *Have you/are you/do you: Depressed? yeah who hasnt tho? Understanding: yeah i am Open-minded: at times Insecure: soooo insecure Interesting: i dont think so Friendly: when i wanna be Smart: i wish Moody: yep Childish: haha yes Independent: for the most part Hard working: sometimes Organized: yeah Shy: yes Difficult: not really Bored Easily: yes yes Talkative: if i know you Different: am i? *When looking for love: Pierced or no? if they can pull it off Freckles or none? a little bit of freckles is cute Mary the perfect lover or perfect friend? Perfect friend Long hair or short hair? Short hair Short or tall? Taller then me, but thats prolly considered short.. lol Do you have a bf/gf? i wish i did Do you have a crush? kinda.. If you're single, why are you single? Because guys just dont like me i gues *What about your friends: Do your friends 'know' you? They "know" me but not too well What do they tend to be like? Have a sense of humor, good talker n listener Are there traits in you that are universally liked? not sure How many people do you tell everything to? Just me. *Music, TV, etc: Favorite band ever? right now.. All American Rejects Most listened to bands: Matchbox 20, All American Rejects, Simple Plan Do you find any musicians good-looking? hell ya.. to name a few.. Rob Thomas, Nick Carter, Ashley Angel, Jacob Underwood, Evan from Avril's L's band..and theres prolly more that i cant think of now. Can you play an instrument? i play an instrument.. but i cant play it good haha Type of music never listened to? i listen to everything! *What are your favorites? Numbers: 6 Colors: purple yellow Days: thursdays n fridays Month: june Song at the moment: Unwell by matchbox 20 Coke or pepsi: Pepsi Day or night: Day DVD or VHS: DVD Jeans or khakis: Jeans Car or truck: Car Lunch or dinner: Lunch *What lies in the future? What day is it tomorrow? Sunday What are you going to do after this? start some homework, and listen to music, then watch tv and go to sleep. Where are you going to go? Nowhere.. staying here in my room How old will you be when you graduate? 18 What do you wanna be? dont ask me that.. altho if i could be anything id be a professional soccer player, an actress, a person who trains the seals dolphins and whales, or a professional dancer.. but that aint happening Where will you be in 25 years? hopefully married with 2 children, and having a family who are all living healthy and happy lives while im also having a career in something that i enjoy doing while making much much mula Where will you be in 40 years? hopefully not having a mid-life crisis haha. *In the past two weeks have you: Cried: yes Cut your hair: yes Been mean: Yes Been sarcastic: Yes Injured yourself: Yes idk how tho lol Missed someone: Yes Kissed someone: No Fought with parents: Last night actually Laughed until you cried: Not lately Played truth or dare: Nope --well now im gonna go chill or something forget about me doing homework.. too lazy im probabaly gonna put in a movie and just hang.. love ya.. love Jelype hehe love.. Jessica Lynn

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Subject: u think u know me... ha Time: 4:01 am. Mood: energetic. Music: The All American Rejects-Paper Heart.

April 28th... every kid at HS wants to run to Florida when they hear that date. Yup that means Spring Break is over and we go back to school. Omg.. i mean school is just so boring and tiring... and did i mention boring?! Ugh... I cant wait for summer.. but then again i have to get a job in summer so nevermind. It all sucks. Lets see oh and i have GAY ASS drivers ed tonight... ok who came up with the whole drivers ed thing?? Cuz thats just the GAYEST thing ive ever heard... even gayer then that online robot, SmarterChild. LMAO. Anewayz im not in such a good mood.. im starving right now.. i could eat a cow and a horse im so hungry.. ya know what? Throw in a nice buffalo for dessert... and thats sum 'goooood eating' ;) So im hungry and we went back to school today, and i have drivers ed tonight, and capt testing tomorrow... yeah now u see why im in a bad mood?! I think youd be in a bad mood too if u were dealing with this sh.t Well thats not really why im in a bad mood all the way its also because theres like the hottest guy ive ever seen EVER and uuuuuuugh (nows a good time to break out into a simple plan song) and so I'D DO ANYTHING.... yeah u knwo that song... and i would.. oh WHY IS HE SO HOTT? it isnt fair... its pure torture right there. See its like im so hungry right now and i want that horse and cow and buffalo to eat cuz im so hungry and ya know... and im willing to do anything to get that meat... drools dripping outta my mouth and i WANT THE FRIKEN MEAT... and so thats like how it is with this guy... i see him and its like DAMMMMMMMMNnnnn i want that now! Get it? hahaha i know if you didnt know me that well... or if u dont know me... chance are that u think im high right now?! Guess what baby? This is 100% natural me. haha. Well nooo im lieing its more like 20% natural me. I dont always act like this... today im just acting really odd. Like in biology i was excited because i was giving birth to tails. (had to do with an expieriment we did.. if u were there youd get it.) And in Global i seriosuly thought a piece of cardboard was plastic. And ive been cheery-ish today and usually im more zoning out all the time-ish. hehehe. Oh well-ish. LMFAO, haha. Ok so EVERWOOD is on tonight and because of some idiot who invented Drivers Ed, im missing half of Everwood... so thats another reason why im mad. =( and then because that guy is soooooooo hott.... u would probably agree with me too... its wierd sometimes hes hott and sometimes hes nott.. all depends. lol. but when this boy is hott.... DAMN BABY... hes hott!!! ok so new subject... i dont have one. hehe. Yeah really.. if u didnt know me u would think i was high because im just incredibly wierd today. But im not.. never been high and not sure if i ever plan on being high.. dunno. So what else can we talk about? Any suggestions? Well i can tell you something.. well the reason why im typing so much is because i got a new keyboard and i wuv it.. it types so ... differntly and nice and soft and yeah so i just cant stop typing.. its so much fun... and i know im a HUGE dork.. but it doesnt bother me, and if it bothers u then STOP READING MY JOURNAL!! oh so anewayz do u know what dilligaf means? haha i just learned that today. DILLIGAF!!! =) OK we need a new subject, and make it a good one journal!! Cmon u can do it.. u can do it.. u can do it... u can do it... u can do it... u can do it... u can do it.... u can do it.... Alright im done.. im trying to think of something to type but i gots nothing.. what do u excpect to hear from someone with a boring life?! Ok well lets talk about my personal hottie... OH BABE... oliver bean... that sexy man! ohhh boy. haha... BOY I THINK THAT IM IN LOVE WITH YOOOOOOOU... so ladies! Oliver Bean is mine! not yours... ok?! kapish?! Oh and by the way, when i saw oliver bean.. i really mean oliver wood! haha hes mine!! haha oh dear... im so outta it right now i think i just convinved my sister to go make tuna fish.. and thats great because now i dont have to go find me a cow horse and Where TF would i find a baffalo? I might still have the cow for a snack tho. Oh so ready "have u ever wondered if a turtle without a shell is homeless or simply naked?" haha well thats a good question... i stole that from nicoles away message i thought it was REALLY funny... ok well TOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO many people are online now and i cant talk and update a journal at the same time. So i will have to leave you... but dry yours tears because JESSICA will always be back! and remember this.. i love you.

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Subject: Send me an angel.. please. Time: 7:27 pm. Mood: sad. Music: Angel by Amanda Perez.

"God send me an angel from the heavens above. Send me an angel to heal my broken heart from being in love. Cause all i dooo is cry. God send me an angel to wipe the tears from my eyes." Obviously im in a depressed type mood. Its spring Break and i should be happy.. but how can you be happy if your not loved by anyone, ya know?! So right now im listening to Angel by Amanda Perez... my heart is broken because im not loved by any1 and i need it to be healed.. if only... But anewayz i dont understand why some people hate me before they even get to know me, and then others wonder why im so shy and sh.t... because people are so judgemental and so i feel if i keep to myself that they have nothing bad to say about me. And its not like they even said anything hurtful today... but im just so insecure and sensative that when Tom made a remark today... i dunno. Well tomorrow Alisa is having a huge party at her house and we r gonna sleep over and go to the mall hopefully. Should be fun, and its a good way to start off Spring Break. I need to do as much as possible over Break because if i get bored, my mind wonders and thinks TOOOOOOOOOOOO much and i start thinking wierd things. haha. Anewayz we r getting a bunny named Chocolate over break.. haa my sis friend is going away so we r watching it for her. I dont really have much to say... mainly because i live an EXTREMLY boring life. Catch ya later..

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Subject: sunday sunday... ugh Time: 2:01 pm.

See what Care Bear you are.

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Time: 9:58 pm. Mood: tired. Music: The White Strips on MTV.

Pick your favorite and see what it means! [don't look below at the results b4 picking] ****i choose daffy duck... i dont think it sounds like me.. except for the soul mate part haha**** 1. Tazmanian Devil 2. Tweety Bird 3. Marvin the Martian 4. Scooby Doo 5. Daffy Duck 6. Pepe Le Pew 7. Sylvester 8. Speedy Gonzalez 9. Bugs Bunny 1. Tazmanian Devil - You are wacky and crazy! You are the center of attention at parties. You love food and are always causing chaos. When you are on a date, you're the one who makes the first move. Love comes and goes for you. Can you say "Player"? 2. Tweety Bird - Aawww, you are soo cute! Everyone loves you because you are so adorable both physically and mentally. This causes some people to be jealous of you. You are a long relationship person. You love cuddling but PDA is not your style. If something goes wrong in your relationships (family, etc.) you go to friends for advice. Tweety lovers are also great listeners. 3. Marvin the Martian - You are definitely in control of your life. People call you a "control freak". You are the kind of person who is paranoid about issues that are not important. But it's O-K because there is always someone around you to ease your concerns. Love is valuable to you and some of your past relationships have been painful - but remember, You are In Control. 4. Scooby Doo - Let's face it, people find you quite annoying. Whether it's the whining or the nagging - it's driving your friends crazy. If you are having problems, keep them to yourself. You are very helpful in solving other people's problems and enjoy figuring out mysteries. The best advice for Scooby Doo lovers is "deal with your problems on your own". 5. Daffy Duck - You are annoying in a cute way. People love being around you because of your utter goofiness. Making people laugh is your specialty. Daffy lovers believe there is a soul mate for everyone. Most Daffy lovers have not yet found their soul mate - but that person may be closer than you think. 6. Pepe Le Pew - You are the sweetest and most lovable person around. Guys/girls love being around your charming personality. When you want something, you try to get your way and do not take "no" for an answer. It is hard to please you - but it is easy for you to please others. Pepe Lovers are also the luckiest people. 7. Sylvester - You are fun-loving and easy to please. People are always talking behind your back because they are jealous. Laughing is what you do best. Crying comes once in a lifetime for you. You are admired and considered "cool". Love is easy for you to find. Your motto is "smile". 8. Speedy Gonzalez - You are ambitious and always heading for your goal. You are a quick thinker and intelligent. Love comes to you once in a lifetime. You always have lots of family support and for you family always comes first. 9. Bugs Bunny - You are the bestest friend a person can ever have. You are wise and always coming up with ideas. Bugs lovers have solutions for every problem in life. Fooling around is your specialty. The word "relationship" is not in your vocabulary. Oh Yeah - and you love anything that has to do with sex.

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Subject: April Fools Day* Time: 3:16 pm. Mood: cheerful. Music: mtv.

My brother is pissing me off... he can be such an asshole!!! I havent rode the bus home in like the last week because i've been hanging around after school, but today i took the bus home so im sitting home bored.. and stuck with the annoying pain in the ass.. also known as Justin. Anewayz enuff about that. Hey wanna know whats really funny?! My horoscope said that today would be a good day, and it was a good day... thats kinda scary tho, eh?! .. but i had a good day =) haha for once, right?! I hope this good day turns into a good week... or maybe a good month. LMAO. Anewayz i have soo much homework tonight tho and tomorrow im getting my side-ways tooth pulled. Blah, thats all i can say about that! Well i just realized that one of my friends is a bitch.. i dont wanna mention names in case they were to ever read this ya know... but she is a stuck up bitch, and Im not gonna defend her anymore when people start calling her a bitch. And another one of my friends has been pissing me off all the time, i dont even consider her a friend.. but how do i tell her that?! uh well.. and then that 'certain someone' haha i know! I KNOW!! i know i said i dont like them.. but i cant help it. Im trying not to... but i think i do like them.. i dunno.. but hes so funny and nice!!! Me and my friend were talking today and hes like " you to are such gossipers.. the biggest gossipers i know.. the gossip queens, the biggest gossip queens about old ladys!" haha it was really funny if u were there, but you werent, so chances are.. your not laughing right now. Your loss!!! hehe. And then we were talking about other stuff too for a really long time. Yeahhh well what else do i have to say?? well today was a good day! haha thats all.. later xoxo

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Subject: T0rtuRe Time: 4:12 pm. Mood: depressed. Music: radio.

Im about to watch "A Walk To Remember" for the 5th time this week. I needa good cry after a day like today. Besides tomorrow i have to give the movie back to Nicole::tear:: So lemme tell about the day from hell which i expierneced today. First of all about that 'certain someone' i honestly dont like him, at all. And he likes someone else and stuff and it doesn't bother me, really. What does bother me is that i like ths other guy and i have NO chance with him. It hurts..alot. But o well. If you wanna know what i learned today, its that most people are assholes. Im not gonna tell the stories of why i feel like sitting in a corner and crying all night, im just gonna say .. that i have no idea what to think of people anymore. And everything is just building up inside of me and i cant take it anymore! Im just so pissed at soo many people right now.. omg i am soo pissed. And then Im pissed at myself too. And what pisses me off the most is when people who havent talked to me in years, and people who have never talked to me decided they r gonna start lil rumors about me. wtf?! So much shit has happened today and i cant deal with it.. its eating me alive. And im not gonna say evrything that has made me upset today.. Im just gonna say that im not gonan trust alot of people, or even be nice to some people... because right now PEOPLE R PISSING ME OFF. ugh.. is it so hard to just have some happiness in life?! To just have a friend... or a boyfriend. Omg yes it is. I dunno how some other people do it. They are just lucky.

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Time: 3:09 pm. Mood: confused.

Today was a pretty good day. I was absent yesterday because i felt really sick, so when i came back to school today and i was sooo happy to find out that a 'certain someone' even noticed that i wasn't at school yesterday. Because honestly. i didnt think he'd know, or care, but he was asking me where i was and said that they all missed me and that he tried to fill in for me, but it didnt work out. haha. For your information, this is the same 'certain someone' that i was talking about in a different entry. And i STILL think hes a jackass.. i really DONT like him. Yet sometimes he's soooo nice, that i cant help it. But anewayz it wouldnt matter because he'd never like me.. so its not a big deal, eh. SO then later in class there was like a "fight" i dunno him and a bunch of other guys were throwing everything and anything at one another, and the 'certain someone' came over to me and was like Jessica Peppe! Ya might wanna move yer head so u dont get whacked with it! lol There was about 4 other people near me that couldve got whacked too, but he ONLY warned me. haha.. Well theres this really hott kid that i really wanna get to know only i dunno..ohhh man, I have Drivers Ed. tonight.. woo hoo. Errr i hate it so much! oh well i will just hafta deal for 2 friken really long hours. Yesterday i went driving in Sherman and it was 45mph! omg! i thought i was gonna kill ourselves. I cant control the car that fast. Driving is fun only when its 25mph maybe even 30mph sometimes. lol. But anewayz im gonna go now

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Subject: Read... lol Time: 6:44 pm. Mood: sleepy. Music: 3doors down- When Im Gone.

I just finished eating dinner... and now i have to do my homework. ahhh its gonna take forever and that sucks alot because i sooooo wanna watch "a walk to remember" So im just taking a homework break right now. i just got back from Nicole Hollands house i guess an hour ago. Yesterday we went to a few stores and then to see 'State Fair' It was actually pretty good. Then we picked out a bunch of movies to watch but we feel asleep during the second movie haha. But its all good because i'll watch it tonight hopefully!!! It was fun, shes one of my bestest friends.. i was so tired today tho. And both Nicoles[H+B] and me went to the mall and Davids Bridal lol. Anewayz im sure i would have more stuff to type if i wasnt trying to do my homework, talk to ppl online, and write this journal entry. lol. So0o0o besides mondays already being the worst day of the week ever, on top of that theres school haha and drivers ed for 2hrs!! omg.. thats the slowest 2hrs of my life. errrrrr [how do u make a made face??] =o .. ok thats my mad face lol. well im gonna go now and actually get my work done with. I'll update later...xoxo

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Subject: Candy Time: 10:37 am. Mood: good. Music: Jimmy Neutron at Nicoles house!!.

Im crispy!! And crispy is the best!! yay!! =) Which M&M are u?!

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Blurty for Jesslynn. View: User Info. View: Friends. View: Calendar. View: Memories. You're looking at 20 entries, after skipping 20 newer ones. Missed some entries? Then simply jump back 20 entries or forward 20 entries.