| .hard.rain. |
[07 Jun 2003|11:07pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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 contemplative |
] |
| [ |
music |
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The Eagles -- Hotel California |
] |
It's nights like these that really cause heartache. As each day has gone by, I have realized more and more about myself, my surroundings, and the inevitable future. I was right about these people, but I was wrong about why. This place is like quicksand. You land here and you just get sucked in by the underworld and the empty promises and the broken dreams and the beautiful lights. I've gotten stuck. I've fallen in a hole I can't escape from and it almost hurts. I fear that it is now my turn to begin a search for a organized metaphoric drug, some sort of affiliation that can help me see beyond the horizon. Something that can fuel my starving body. Somewhere that can shield me from this rain that just won't stop.
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| .recently.tapped. |
[30 May 2003|10:44pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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 melancholy |
] |
| [ |
music |
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Yonder Mountain String Band -- Dawn's Early Light |
] |
Days pass slowly here. People are nocturnal and I must teach myself to be as well if I plan to survive. Finding places to stay hasn't proven difficult just yet, but I'm not counting on my luck. There is much to do and see here. Arts and culture are as diverse, more so than I have ever encountered. They even bleed different colors.
I've come across a rather strange soul recently. Jacobim was his first name, a weathered man -- he has been here long. It is always an adventure to meet a new person, but he was more of an oracle. Even though he was blind, he could see me as clear as the moon last night. What he said still haunts me even after two days have passed. The days haven't passed yet, he says, where I have been broken. And though I may feel the worst is over, it is still yet to come. All I can do is wait and persevere and hope that I can overcome. I suppose that's just what I'll do.
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| .an.arrival.of.fate. |
[27 May 2003|09:13pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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 discontent |
] |
| [ |
music |
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Ani DiFranco -- Joyful Girl |
] |
Rhy'din. It started out as an uxexpected stop on my solo flight, but over the past three days I've come to realize that I will become more of a permanent fixture here. Alone, I shall stay - I fear - but perhaps I will meet someone down a certain path. Rumors here spread like wildfire, I've already heard enough to keep me guessing forever. And though I still have not made 'friends' thus far, I feel as though I know everyone better than they know themselves. Call me a generalizer, but these folk are easy to predict. All fallen from some distant place; they pick themselves up and move on with life in one of many of the guilds or organizations, using such as 'an out' and a place to vent, thrive, succeed and lie. They all move independently in a group and it's like they're trying to suck the life from one another. Even the so-called kind ones has their own hidden intentions. Nobody is as hurt as they say, but chooses to think so because of the vanished sympathy they somehow unearth. It's like a cloud has covered this place -- everything seems so hazy, yet so real here. Anyone can make it here, as long as they have a sad story, a pretty face, and a heart of stone. Hopefully I'll fit right in.
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