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[09 Apr 2004|10:08am] |
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hmmm...i suppose its time to update my lovely journal and a few other of my own.well yesturday and wednsday (sp?) was alright. i spent all day on computer on W. until amanda and i went to see her little brother's t-ball pratice.it was hella funny. then we chased the ic cream man for,obiviously,some ice cream.lol then she kidnapped me and i slept over at her house.it was alright.the next morning somewhat sucked.but yeah...not much to update about.bored as hell.and i smell weird.time to hit the showers. i'll update later with pics or something.
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| holyshitmuthafucka!! i actually updated! |
[04 Apr 2004|10:34am] |
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mood |
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 calm |
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music |
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"right here in my arms"-HIM |
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well yesturday i went to canery row.man its like disneyland there.all crowded and whatnot.my dad made me go on the NASCAR simulator game.i didnt even want to drive the damn game and i still beat him in place.i got 11th and he got 15th.heh i didnt even try.my uncle was there too and he got 1st place.heh.hmmm then i went to my home away from home (starbucks) to get a vanilla caffe latte. and then i went to salinas to get some pants. oh man i ran into will!! oh man he's a cutie! lol but yeah we talked for a while.then i got some shoes at journey's. i was going to get the leopard spoted chucks,but i got the pink low top chucks.i know Kia is gonna love my shoes.lol! then we went to the outback steakhouse. i didnt eat any meat. i just had two salads. i saw Mr.hanson,my old 8th grade teacher, at the outback steakhouse with his wife that he bought off the internet.heh. ( my daily dose of pics )
xoxo.
ps.-my xanga and livejournal sn's are averysadgirl
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[18 Jan 2004|01:01pm] |
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mood |
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 thoughtful |
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gosh,i'm surprised if anyone reads this anymore.i'm sorry i havent updated.its because i've gone off to a better place.....no and it isnt heaven or whatever.i've gone to livejournal.the journals are free there so if u still wanna be my friend/listen to my ramblings/shennagins, go click here thats my journal. so yeah. this journal(lowselfesteem) is DEAD.
~♥~
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[28 Dec 2003|06:09pm] |
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hmm...well i'm at a friends house.it kinda sucks. i'm on livejournal now. if u REALLY
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| i like straight boys kissing.... |
[31 Oct 2003|04:34pm] |
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mood |
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 predatory |
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music |
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"a moviescript ending"-my bloody valentine |
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( if it makes you less sad i will die by your hand... )
well i want to say that being bi is not wrong. i'm not bi,but when straight boys kiss its cute.and no i'm not into muscley naked guys kissing. >_<" no i havent told my parents and never will. ya know why? cuz then they will think i "touch" my sisters and shit. and then they will question my sexuality. and ,mind you, i'm straight.i dont know why people freak out about it. i mean its like "why is that kid goth or punk"? any punk or goth or freak or WHATEVER is critized for what they believe in gets pissed. its the same with bi girls and guys. i mean its just natural.its just what they are into. its not like a trend,i mean c'mon! geez! *sigh* i better stop before i ramble on for hours......
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[30 Oct 2003|07:27am] |
You are Conor Oberst of Bright Eyes. Hailing from
Omaha, you write genius lyrics inspired by
depression, drinking and basically anything
shitty that happens to you. But hey, at least
you're a sexy beast.
What Indie/Hardcore Vocalist Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla
yes...conor oberst IS a sexy beast! lol ok well i gotta go to school...
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[30 Oct 2003|06:29am] |
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mood |
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 hungry |
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music |
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"seventy times 7"-brand new |
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ha ha well i think guys who arent afraid to kiss one another ( and are both straight ) is really *hee hee* orgasmic. say what you want but i dont care! i found some pics. and if your wondering,i'm not bi,so dont make assumptions! so here's my point of view on it: boys who kiss are hot,but not when they participate in sexual intercourse. then thats just... *shudders* 0_o"
( kissing boys turn me on )
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[29 Oct 2003|04:53pm] |
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mood |
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 working |
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music |
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"deadbolt"-thrice (for the millionth time) |
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dont tell me that this boy doesnt look like conor ooberst! --> 
ha ha ha ha anyway...well today was a usual today. i was SUPER close to asking a guy out today. *meep* nervous nervous. hm...well i plan on dying my hair soon i just dont know what color though. any suggestions? so yeah i wanna cut my hair like adam from taking back sunday (really short in the back long in the front) so yeah.....BORED. i'm probably gonna spend my halloween with amanda. *shrugs* i dont know.
( last night i swallowed liquor and a lighter and this morning i threw up fire )
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| some crap for you to read... |
[29 Oct 2003|06:27am] |
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mood |
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 exhausted |
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music |
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"soco ameretto lime"-brand new |
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"tired"
tired of running into dead ends in my mind
tired of letting everyone down
tired of the same old shit
tired of this place
tired of your second hand smoke
tired of your contradictions
tired of living off my parents
tired of getting my heart broken
tired of being alone
tired of writing about you
tired of writing about the same stuff over and over.....
-------------------------------------------------------------------
The clouds are getting darker
my breathing is speeding up
this life is a overplayed movie
a celluoid nightmare i cant wake up from
I'm tired of writing about you and how you screwed me over so many times...
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
comment if you like it comment if you hate it,comment if you think i should shut the fuck up and die
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| the invisible girl that nobody sees, cries all alone in the darkness of night.. |
[28 Oct 2003|06:02pm] |
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mood |
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restless |
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music |
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my mix tape(or cd) of emo and indie songs :\ |
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hm...well today was a weird day. i felt really....weird.um yeah. i finished my pirate costume today. :D i was just get a sheet and cut out holes and put a pirate's hat,but...meh. today i made a collage(i think i spelt that right) of what i like. the social worker made me do it. so yeah. ( watch me drown in my blood ) so yeah... i hope everyone in southren california is ok. :\
there isnt much to write about today. well my dad is leaving for phoenix tommorow in the morning and will be back either late monday or early tuesday. :\ kinda sucks cuz he's the only one who i crack jokes with.he's the only one who'll laugh at me jokes. so yeah... i dont know my heads in a jumble...
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| i've ran over black cats that are luckier than me... |
[27 Oct 2003|04:24pm] |
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mood |
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 full |
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music |
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bright eyes (any song by bright eyes) |
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hm...well today is the usual i guess. i havent done much as usual. i hope all the people in so cal are ok.ya know with the fires and all. hope joe's ok too. i finished my pirate costume today.i'm actually proud of it. :P well i WAS going to get my haircut but...nah. i went to see scary movie 3 with amanda,but the movie SUCKED. only watch it if your into black jokes.meh. and then when me and amanda were leaving the theather during the ending credits i guess i black's "booty shaking" kind of song and i almost gotten eaten alive by fat black chicks who were dancing like idiots. i mean i'm not being racist or anything,but DAMN! do the stupid ass dancing somewhere else. *phew* so yeah.... well i'm bored..
( as my dark soul cries a thousand tears of blood )
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[26 Oct 2003|01:49pm] |
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mood |
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 mischievous |
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music |
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"deadbolt"-thrice (for the million-th time) |
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-- Name: ana banana
-- Birthdate: 11/15
-- Birthplace: salinas
-- Current Location:soledad
-- Eye Color: shit brown
-- Hair Color: brown (for now...)
-- Righty or Lefty: right
-- Zodiac Sign: scorpio
-- Innie or Outtie: *lifts up shirt* innie
-----------------DESCRIBE------------------
-- Your heritage: hm...my mom's mexican,but my dad's american,with some native stuff in the mix...
-- The shoes you wore today: the chucks that have a huge hole in the left shoe that is held together by safety pins
-- Your eyes: brown,ugly.
-- Your weakness: i tend to get envious and jealous easily
-- Your fears: i'm afraid i'm going to walk the earth alone. ( like the hulk)
-- One thing you'd like to achieve: i'd like to play guitar a hell of alot better. -.- "
-----------------WHAT IS------------------
-- Your most overused phrase on aim: heh; rad; lol
-- Your thoughts first waking up: "oh crap what am i going to do wrong today?"
-- The first feature you notice in the opposite sex: their eyes and their smile
-- Your best physical feature: i dont know....
-- Your bedtime: whenever i want BIATCH! *cough* lol
-- Your greatest accomplishment: i actually made it to high school and survive my freshman year. :D
-- Your most missed memory: childhood memories
-----------------YOU PREFER------------------
-- Pepsi or coke: pepsi
-- McDonald's or Burger King: none
-- Single or group dates: single
-- Adidas or Nike: adidas
-- Chocolate or vanilla: chocolate
-- Cappuccino or coffee: cappuccino
-- Bras or Panties: panties
-----------------DO YOU------------------
-- Smoke: no
-- Cuss: too much
-- Take a shower everyday: yes thankyouverymuch
-- Have a crush(es): yes
-- Who are they: joe (from NY),george(amanda you know who i'm talking about) um...not many people
-- Do you think you've been in love?: no
-- Want to go to college: maybe
-- Like high school: no
-- Want to get married: i dont know
-- Type w/ your fingers on the right keys: yes i do
-- Believe in yourself: no
-- Get motion sickness: no
-- Think you're attractive: hell no
-- Think you're a health freak: not really
-- Get along with your parents: nope
-- Like thunderstorms: yes
-- Play an instrument: yea
------------IN THE PAST MONTH DID:/:HAVE YOU--------------
-- Drank alcohol: no
-- Smoke(d):no
-- Done a drug:no
-- Have Sex:no
-- Made Out:no
-- Go on a date:nope
-- Go to the mall: yea
-- Eaten sushi: i WANT to..but not yet
-- Been on stage: nope
-- Been dumped: nope,but i dont wanna if i ever date again
-- Gone skating: nope
-- Made homemade cookies: i wish!
-- Been in love: i dont believe in it
-- Dyed your hair: yes.
-- Stolen anything: no :)
-----------------HAVE YOU EVER------------------
-- Flown on a plane: yes but when i was a wee little kid
-- Missed school because it was raining?: yes
-- Told a guy/girl that you liked them?: yeah
-- Cried during a Movie?: yes
-- Ever thought an animated character was hot?: ha ha ha ha ha yeah.
-- Had an imaginary friend: i did. i can admit it!
-- Been on stage?: yes.
-- Cut your hair: yes many many times
-- Had crush on a teacher?: eww! no!
-- Played a game that required removal of clothing?: no
-- Been trashed or extremely intoxicated:no
-- Been caught "doing something": ha ha ha ha no.
-- Been called a tease: yeah ha ha ha roman and the other guys would call me that. its a long and funny story
-- Gotten beaten up ?: yeah but i was fighting 5 against 1
-- Been in a fight: yes many many times
-- Shoplifted: no
-----------------THE FUTURE------------------
-- Age you hope to be married:22-ish i dont know
-- Numbers and Names of Children: just one. it'll be a girl and her name will be nate.
-- Descibe your Dream Wedding: a punk rock wedding!! >_<" like in that one dropkick murphy's video. (all plaid and punk-ish . :P )
-- How do you want to die?: a slow death....... i dont know either
-- What do you want to be when you grow up?: a guitar player. lol
-- What country would you most like to visit?: austrialia!
-----------------OPPOSITE SEX------------------
-- Best eye color:. hazel or blue-ish green
-- Best hair color: any un-natural color
-- Short or long hair: semi long hair (like indie guys)
-- Best height: a little taller than me
-- Best weight: skinny but not anorexic
-- Best first date location: a concert
-- Best first kiss location: in the car before we leave
-----------------NUMBER OF-----------------
-- Number of girlfriends you've had: i'ma chick so...its none.
--Number of kisses you've given: not alot
-- Number of drugs taken illegally: none
-- Number of people I could trust with my life: not alot
-- Number of CDs that I own: two
-- Number of piercings: none at the moment,but i want a lip piercing
-- Number of tattoos: none
-- Number of times my name has appeared in the newspaper?: none
-- Number of scars on my body: a few
-- Number of things in my past that I regret: not alot of stuff
----------------FAVORITES------------------
-- Shampoo: suave
-- Fav Color: black/pink
-- Day/Night: night
-- Summer/Winter: summer
-- Lace or Satin: satin
-- Fave Cartoon Character: underdog!
-- Fave Food: hm....salads,veggie burgers and soymilk!
-- Fave Movies: the nightmare before christmas,super troopers, the rocky horror picture show
-- Fave sport: none
-- Fave sports stars: none
----------------RIGHT NOW------------------
-- Wearing: my casualties shirt,my "flame" boxers; my bracelts i made myself
-- Drinking: soymilk!
-- Thinking about: when i should get up to get some more soymilk. :D
-- Listening to: "deadbolt"-thrice
---------------IN THE LAST 24 HRS------------------
-- Cried: yes
-- Worn jeans: dont remember
-- Met someone new online:
-- Done laundry:no
-- Drove a car:no
-- Talked on the phone:not really
---------------DO YOU BELIEVE IN--------------
-- Yourself:no
-- Your friends:no
-- Santa Claus:hahah no
-- Tooth Fairy: no
-- Destiny/Fate: not really
-- Angels: yes.dark angels
-- Ghosts: yes
-- UFO's: yes
-- God: i'm not sure
--------FRIENDS AND LIFE------------------
-- Do you ever wish you had another name?: yes
-- Do you have a girlfriend/boyfriend?:no
-- Do you like anyone?:yes
-- Which one of your friends acts the most like you?: i dont know. but amanda comes close
-- Who have you known the longest of your friends?: probably amanda. again.
-- Are you close to any family member?: my dad. kinda.
-- Who do you hang around the most?: myself
-- When have you cried the most: everytime i get my heart broken.yes i cry.
-- What's the best feeling in the world?: the feeling when you know your wanted
-- Worst Feeling?: loneliness
-- What time is it now?: 1:49
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[23 Oct 2003|06:11pm] |
^must cut my hair like that! its sooo rad. :D
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[23 Oct 2003|05:34pm] |
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mood |
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exhausted |
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music |
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"mix-tape"-brand new |
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well today was a usual day as usual. at 4th block the teacher found a kid armed with a knife. yikes.anyway i went to the doc today.the doc is my "godmother" so it was hard and it sucked when i had to tell her about my "depression". she says the "real ana" is lost and cant find her way back to "crazy spun out of control ana". pssh. then she says the music i'm listening to (rock/indie/emo/whatever you wanna call it) is also making me feel like shit and have low self esteem...blah blah. AHHH! my friend monique is going to see THRICE,THURSDAY,and COHEED AND CAMBRIA!! and she gave her extra ticket to mike! >_<" so pissed. but i'll be seeing less than jake at san jose nov.15 OR seeing brand new at Friso on nov.15. *shrugs* so yeah.......
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[22 Oct 2003|05:44pm] |
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mood |
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 confused |
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music |
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"timberwolves in jersey"-taking back sunday |
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shit i think i'm in a case of mistaken identity or something.
( GtothemuthafingC )
( XHavokInsidex ) dude i dont know what the hell is going on....well tommorow i gotta go to the doctor to get a prescription or whatever for my "depression" *sigh* i'm bored.....
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| ok i wrote some more crap for you to hate... |
[21 Oct 2003|06:12pm] |
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mood |
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restless |
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music |
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"drain the blood"-the distillers |
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"you yell "FIRE!"
But its only the sun setting on you
so kiss me and burn my lips before you leave
and put my restless heart to sleep...."
ok i know its incomplete and it sucks....
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| some crap i wrote for ya.... |
[21 Oct 2003|07:31am] |
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mood |
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 artistic |
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music |
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"drain the blood"-the distillers |
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the skies bleed
red as wine
i remember the day
you told me to go away
you whispered a million broken "i love you"'s
i knew it wasnt true
a trail of broken hearts lay here
ya know i use to wear them on my sleeve
it wasnt my fault, you must believe
they were the ones who decided to leave.....
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