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Sunday, November 14th, 2004

Subject:"Say goodbye don't follow...misery so hollow"
Time:11:42 am.
Mood:amazing.
Music:Don't follow by Alice n' Chains.
Ok...So I came to an awful realization the other day. I've been living in a fools paradise now for quite awhile and I don't quite understand why, but I really hate chemistry. I hate how to me, she is the most beautiful, most amazing creature I've ever known...I hate how it hurts that I can't be with her and lie next to her and watch her sleep or get a call from her telling me that she misses me even though I just left. I hate that. Its all so one sided and I feel very stupid. Ahh...my blasted faith.

WAITING ROOM
By: No Doubt

I sign in my name
I guess I have to wait a while
I wanna play this game
Call me up if you know how to dial

You always had my number
You need to be my lover
Humiliation
I'm in the waiting room

Chorus: If we both want the love
And I wait long enough
Then the ground that we're on might be common
All I can do is wait for you
All I can do is wait for you
I'm all alone in the waiting room
I'm all alone in the waiting room

When you burn in solitude
It can get real thick
If Desire is your only food
It can get you sick
You know you're so fine
I'm over here standing in this line
Just waiting in the waiting room

(Chorus)

While I'm in the waiting room
A thousand thoughts I think of you
Whatever you did has got me glued
It's icky, it's sticky, ooh

You're the one I'm dreaming of
Why does this feel like wasted time?
What a price this traveling love?
You and me trapped between these lines
Ooh, you're so mine

(Chorus)

All I can do is wait for you (I'm just waiting for you)
All I can do is wait for you (You know you want me)
All I can do is wait for you (You always had my number)
All I can do is wait for you (You know you need to be my lover)
All I can do is wait for you
All I can do is wait for you

Wait for you. Wait for... Why are you making me wait?
I'm all alone in the waiting room

Will you call me when it's my turn?

Hahaha its so funny how this entry came out because frankly, I'm in a really good mood today. In fact I'm in one of those "life is so amazing" modes and a lot of really cool stuff happened since last night, but I'm not gonna talk about it yet. You know, I'm a very simple person in that I'm complicated. I think of every possible thing a thousand times before anything ever happens. And yes my faith falters...but...well...I guess only time will tell what will inevitably be. But I think for now I'll give my number to someone else and leave for awhile. Maybe if I come back before the number is called I may yet look into the eyes of that woman I fell in love with...the one that for a few minutes...those minutes that felt like endless eternities...exquisite as they were excruciating...the one that I carry with me everywhere, though she doesn't seem to really care. Maybe she's still in there somewhere.

Wow this entry is too long...sorry!!! :)
-M
Comments: Add Your Own.

Subject:The apprentice
Time:1:56 pm.
Hast I the gall to fuel these flames...
to stoke these fires; this furnace that burns
like an eye in the lull of lust
or lips that quiver unto your touch.

Formed within the cores of long dead stars
Our fates entwined with fell destiny...
And with it carry much more woe
than one of my stature should hope
for undecipherable these mysteries remain
when the flames so mercilessly burn.

Was love formed in those moments
when even light opened its eyes like a newborn babe?

Those far off places
that beckon with a glimmer
unreachable by all but dreams
of the end of this long winter
are a wellspring to these thoughts
these kisses smilingly caught
in the hand of this quiet wanderer.

The sun hangs low in the November
and the lovers that lovingly lie
'neath the covers of their soft smooth sky
Will witless each other render.

For this love...
this sweet, sweet love
could drown the bravest warrior in tears
and whispers softly
of kind and blissful years
spent in a binary apprenticeship:
sweetly fumbling hands
and my lips explorers of
your body and its unexplored lands
a tireless ecstacy...
wrought of you and me.
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Blurty for FramesBlonde.

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