TABITHA.'s Blurty Day [entries|friends|calendar]

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[10 Jun 2011|10:49am]
[ mood | groggy ]
[ music | mary j. blige ft. lil wayne {naked} ]

i don't think i'll ever know if josh nd i are meant to be together. i don't think i'll ever know if he still loves me like he once told me he did before. i can't promise that he'll always be there. josh is hard. he's confusing nd he'll tell you that himself. josh doesn't believe in marriage, he barely believes in a committed relationship. i can't ever say that josh will never cheat on me.. i can't even say that he hasn't already.. all i know is that i'm stuck. no matter how hard i try, i can't get away from him. i won't let him just leave me nd he won't let me just leave him. like i said.. it's confusing. i know that i love josh. whether or not i'm IN love w. him he'll always have some part of my heart. he's my best friend. i talk to him more than i talk to destinee. he's who i want to hang out w. when no one is there. he makes me happy. so while the future is still very unclear: i want josh. i ♥ josh. & while clearly my mind changes nd my eyes do stray.. i want him nd i'm starting to realize that we both push nd pull just enough to stay together. i know that sometimes he doesn't like who we are, but it's who we are, it's what we do nd how we act. i'm still happy. as much as i fight now i'm still happy w. josh.

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