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Blurty for Chastity.
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| Wednesday, July 30th, 2003 |
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a beautiful girl can make you dizzy, like you've been drinking jack and coke all morning. she can make you feel high, full of the single greatest commodity known to man: promise. promise of a better day. promise of a greater hope. promise of a new tomorrow. this particular aura can be found in the gait of a beautiful girl.... ...in her smile ...in her soul ...in the way she makes every rotten little thing about life.... seem like its going to be okay..... courtesy of emily's info. |
| Sunday, July 27th, 2003 |
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No sooner had they exchanged playfully flicking eachother off than the tiny white phone rang. Chas looked over her right shoulder, leaning sideways to grab the phone. It seemed the thing was just out of reach, so she strained, fingers outstretched, until she toppled over. She glanced up to watch the phone get knocked off its reciever before she snatched it up, tucking it behind her ear. "Hello?" she answered, glaring at TJ as he sniggered. She threw a watch his head. "Chassy?" a slightly deep voice replied. "... OH MY GOD, TRENT! Hey buddy!" She practically jumped off the bed, half aghast at trent's suprise, half glad TJ got hit with the watch. "Whats up!?" "Oh nothin really, just got moved in a couple weeks ago and decided I should call. " "Thats awesome! I'm so glad you called.. its been torture not hearing from you." "Heh, well, its good to know I've been missed. Its wicked nice here, you know. I met a lot of cool people, so its been really easy making friends." "Hey, thats good!" Chastity tried to make her voice cheery as possible... she didnt want him to know that she'd secretly wished it would be awful for him and that he'd beg his parents to come back. "Yeah, tell me about it.. I also met this really cool girl, she reminds me a lot of you, except she's prettier." He chuckled, reassuring her it wasnt personal. Unfortunately, it still hit her that way. "Oh, thanks alot, love you too," she said with a fake laugh. Talk about ouch. She listened to him going on about the move and how nice it was there, trying not to let him know she really really hurt. Looking over at TJ, Chas watched him get out Tony Hawk's Proskater 3 from under her TV and begin to play it. Maybe if she concentrated on the game, she wouldnt be bothered by Trent so much. Unfortunately, tears began to well up as she listened to the sound of Trent's voice, knowing that it was rare that she would see him again anytime soon. She was now barely croaking "mhm"s and "awesome", trying her hardest not to let on. Damnit, she thought, suck it up and stop being such a crybaby. "... but its been a drag without everyone here, especially you." Trent sounded a little more sad, which in turn made her a bit more happy. "Well, its been just as bad without you here. I mean, who else is going to talk to me at like, 4 oclock in the morning, and run around the mall with all of us? Even TJ misses you, right TJ?" She tossed a penny at the PS2. "Oh, uh... yeah," TJ mumbled over his shoulder, concentrating on the game. She was glad he was so concentrated on the game.. making a scene right there wouldnt be too wonderful. "erm, hold on trent, I gotta piss like whoa." Setting the phone down, she walked out the door and turned into the bathroom. Taking off her glasses, she reached and turned the faucet on full blast before sitting on the toilet seat. What am I going to do? she thought, watching the water stream out like her tears. I certainly cant be blubbering like this anymore, how pathetic would that be? If only trent knew.. ugh. That little devil on her shoulder popped up again, smoking a cig and reading the latest edition of Playgirl*. "You're being such a whiner," it sneered, "just be happy that he's happy, would you? You think he'd ever think of you that way? HA. Think again. You heard him... he found a replacement for you, a prettier one nonetheless. Just face it and grow up, you sniveling brat." ...it was right, and she knew it. Blowing her nose, she waved a hand until her face was somewhat clear, flushed the toilet, and went back into the room. Flopping back down on the bed, she picked the phone up. It felt heavy as a rock. "Sorry that took so long," she said, trying to sound.. perky. "Jeebus, I thought you had fallen into the toilet. Either that or you had some really bad diarreha." "Dude, thats so gross, dont talk like that,".... |
| Wednesday, July 23rd, 2003 |
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"I think you should get up before I kick your ass" ...huh? Chastity fluttered those dark blue eyes open, recovering from what seemed to be a coma of sleep. She turned, remembering the odd voice, to the doorway to see her guy-buddy, TJ. She gave him a stare before he smiled. "You forgot, didnt you?" "Forgot what?" she asked, glancing over to squint at the clock. It read 1:30 pm. "Haha, I knew it. You forgot." He was now walking across the room, seating himself of the couch at the end of her bed. "What hell did I forg-" it clicked. "Oh, god TJ, I'm sorry. I missed sleeping the other night and fell asleep on the couch and then woke up again and-" "its fine, babe," he interrupted, laughing. "Dont worry about it. You even told me before if I ever came over and you were sleeping that I could just 'threaten you until you woke up'. No biggie" She smirked, rolling over to the edge of the bed. Tossing the comforter away, she groggily rubbed her eyes and looked at the mirror infront of her. "Boy, do I look like shit or what?" she mumbled, turning to look around for her glasses. I put them on the stand by the bed, she thought.. Bah. TJ had walked infront of her, still smiling and reaching to the floor. Hey, there they were. He picked them up and put them on her face before idly walking back to his seat. "You're a dork" "I know" |
| Sunday, July 20th, 2003 |
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Dude.. hm.. lemme tell you a little about dude. He's all I want. Ok, thats a lie.. he's a lot of what I want. He's tall, and sexy too. I'd put his picture in here but I fear my anonymous-ness would be ruined. He's funny and smart and cute and jewish and I just love him to pieces. Wow.. was that weird to type. Anywho, I love to hear him laugh on the phone. There's this special one he does, I dont know exactly how to describe it. Its like, he kind of gets it and then really gets it if that makes sense. It goes "hm -pause- hmheh ...heh heh heh" ... wow that looks fucked. I dont know >< Dude's beautiful. I'm infatuated with him. |
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"What the hell is your problem?" Trent yelled ferociously. "WHATS WRONG WITH YOU?" slap. Crouch, make fists, block yourself. Dont hit back, dont hit back. He loves you. You love him. Dont hit back.. whatever you do. "Cry, go ahead, cry your eyes out," He's sneering at you, he cant hate you. Trent's walking away. Go! Get him! He loves you! You cant move. Whats wrong with you? Why wont your feet move? "Get up, Chas. Come here. I'm home." ... there's dad. Look, he's home. He's waiting for you to give him a hug. Hurry, grab him before he leaves. Move your feet, damnit. Oh no, he's following trent.. watch out for the bee! what's it doing? why wont it get away from you? kill it! there's the remote! smash it to pieces! It wont die? IT WONT DIE. run, run, you dont want to get stung. please mr bee, dont hurt me, I want them back. Whats this? ... everyone's gone. everything's gone. there's a window.. go ahead, look out of it. Hm.. I dont see anything.. its raining a lovely rain, though. The cars keep driving. Dont they know how slick it is? They're going to-- whoa. The semi. It flipped watch it slide.. oh no, its going for the powerlines ... She woke up with a jerk. Looking over at the clock, she was able to make out a dim 9:48 am. Chastity ran her fingers through her hair, groggily reaching over for the clicker. She aimed it at the TV, leaving Gilligan and their crew still stranded on that stupid island. Pulling her legs back over the side of the couch, she swung them foreward and sat up. My god, what was that all about? She rubbed her eyes a few times before pulling herself to stand and glance around. Hm. Mothers shoes were gone, and so were Busia's. Guess everyone's gone to work already. She frowned slightly before turning to stride to the stairs, accidentally kicking The Torn Skirt into the wall. Eh. Dragging her feet up the stairs, she could only wonder what the hell was wrong. Trent never hit her. She wasnt afraid of bees. Maybe it was just another one of those silly dreams that never make any sense.. like the one she had about Ben Affleck looking like elvis and coming at her with a gun. She sauntered down the dark hall before pushing the door open. Eh. Shielding her eyes, she flopped down on her bed and covered up with the big pajina. Boy did she need shades in her room.... |
| Saturday, July 19th, 2003 |
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"Damnit," she said as she slammed the phone down. "Why cant they just fucking leave me be? Those assholes wont stop calling and calling, complaining about their boring and miserable lives. Boyfriends, boys, parents, blah blah blah. I dont give a rats ass about their lives, WHY DO THEY KEEP CALLING?" ...it wasnt really true though. Chastity did care. She liked hearing other people's problems, analyzing them until she had them figured out. She liked picking up on clues and figuring out what people really thought. Most of all, she liked when people looked up to her. She flopped down into the big, fluffy old chair that the phone laid next to, grabbing for the clicker and flipping through the shows. Nothing could really put her mind at ease, though... she couldnt stop fighting with herself. She could even imagine the little people on her shoulders now. A smiling, clean version of herself. Her fiery red hair falling to her shoulders in sexy, subdued curls, a golden halo shining above her head. A white and gold robe innocently covered her, and little wings stuck out from behind. She stood on a cloud with silver lining, her lips glossed in a sheer silver. "You need to stop throwing these selfish tantrums, Chassy old girl. You look pathetic and stupid, and you arent convincing anyone you really hate them and their problems. Its just pms kicking in, so grab a box of tissues and stop. They're your friends, and they need your help. Thats who you are, and thats why they love you so much. Being kind means you only get kind returned, so bit your cheek and listen. Someone, someday, will be so grateful of you..." On the other shoulder was a not so nice side. The flaming hair was pulled back into a ponytail that could give anyone whiplash (even with little horns sticking out of the top), and a clinging red bodysuit gracing what curves she possesed. An ominous grin graced maroon-glossed lips as she poked the side of her head with that pitchfork. "Chas, chas.. you're right. These people are stupid and need to figure out their own life problems. I mean, they ARE your friends, but you cant always be there to clean them back up after they fall down. Its not like they pay you to be their psychologist, anyway. You think they'd sit there and listen to you ramble on abotu your pathetic life for hours on end? Treat others as you know they'd treat you." ... oh boy, was she losing it. Closing her eyes, she tried to clear her head. What could she do? School was out, so she couldnt possibly go to Mr. Brad, the counseler. True, he had been there many times for her, from the made up story to skip class to the real live breakdown she had. No, no.. she couldnt call him. He needs a break. Maybe Trent? Trent had always been there to listen, even though he lived quite a ways away. Damn him, she thought. Why'd you have to move? Chastity arched her back, yawning and stretching. 10 'o clock and a moodswing. How long was she supposed to handle these moodswings, exactly? 30 or 40 more years? It seemed like an eternity. Swinging her legs over the arms of the chair, she heard something fall to the floor with a gentle "thump". A glance down led her to read the title of the book, "The Torn Skirt". Bah, that was one of the worst books she had read in a while. Good riddance. Rolling over, a hand slipped under her temple as she stared at the television screen. Groggy from no sleep the previous night, the zombie-like stare soon turned into a daze, and then into a peaceful doze. |
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Love. I'm a lovesick fool. A crazy one, to boot. Once I fall into love, I become almost obsessive... which is creepy. This is why I made another journal.. I get weird when I'm in love. I can only be so much of myself in my own journal, because my friends tend to read it... I know, I know. "If they cant accept you for who you are, then they arent your friends." I thought long and hard about this and decided, fuck it. I'll be myself without anyone knowing who I am. It'll be grand. I'll also fill you in about the man I'm currently enthralled with. Enthralled? ...fuck if I know. I'll call him, Dude. I love Dude. Dude scares me in ways I cannot imagine. Dude does not literally scare me, but I'm afraid of him. I'm afraid of falling for him.. sadly, I've already fallen and I cant get up. but this is just the beginning. I plan a very simple, plain look for this journal until I get some real bored time. I'll keep the styles, most likely, and I'll probably only change the comments part. I dont really know who all would really read this, but if you actually do, please comment at least once so I know if I'm being heard. Also, I think I might end up writing some of my creative shit in here, so please dont steal :/ please? |
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Blurty for Chastity.
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cheerful.
crappy.
exhausted.
mellow.
nerdy.
thoughtful.