so, i didn't go to wendy's today, but while driving to lunch, i thought of this.
wendy's new drive-thru slogan, apparently, is "see you tomorrow."
haha.... i can't help but giggle and think to myself "oh no you won't!"
on a side note, i'm so freaking sore.
exhaustedum... so................... yeeaaaahhhh.........
moving on. so let's see.... katharine thinks i don't update this enough.. so here i am. just to defend my integrity and prove her wrong!
i work now! go job. i'm supposed to be paid $10/hr, yet my first paycheck had me waged only at $7.50/hr..... kind of frustrating..... and my boss is out of town till next week sometime.. so i have a while till i can bring it up to anyone.
i'm eating a bag of the generic brand of frosted mini wheats right now... i just finished it off. so good.
bought a CD recently. fall out boy's newest record. it's pretty good. check it out.
what have i been up to lately? well i'd say i have a daily routine down. but it's definitely a very good routine. especially the latter part of it.
----wake up
----go to work
----work till noon or so, then go to lunch
----eat lunch
----go back to work
----work
----work on hands and knees
----cover myself in sawdust as i work
----sigh.... another hour and a half till i can go home...
----ok, i get to go home now. going home!
----shower
----get dressed
----eat maybe?
----finally some quality time! go to see katharine (the latter part of the daily routine which i wait for all day)
----watch a movie with katharine, hang out, etc.
----go home, or walk her to her car
----the rest is rather irrelevant
so recently, last wednesday to be precise, my whole family went to chicago, and left the house in my care. the isolation and independence was very nice. i said to hell with curfews. and it was good. however, now i have a curfew again...... which i really don't understand. i don't disturb anyone when i come in at night. i'm a mouse when it comes to entering the house.
um.....
i'm feeling consumed..... not a state of distress, but rather quite the opposite. a gentle squeeze of contentment. i feel warmed by it, and put at ease. i have no worries anymore. i only have one person to thank for my smitten state of mind...... who could it be?
contentschool's definitely out. very nice
i went and visited my friend tobi the morning of my departure from fort worth. i hadn't seen her in months at least. it was really nice. she's an awesome girl.
so i'm all moved back in. go me.
in more recent news, i got a haircut today, and now i look like i'm a high schooler again..... i hate having short hair.
went to barnes and noble tonight to help katharine study for her math final in algebra 2. yeah, totally forgot how to do all that stuff.
(side note: found out that i'm dating katharine as well. i found that to be humorous. the things people come up with these days. church rumors are fun.)
went and played frisbee for the first time in a long time. there were a ton of people. i feel i adequately assisted my team. but now i'm beat.
had a job interview this afternoon. this is why i got a hair cut.... to look "presentable"
society puts too much emphasis on such petty things. if an autistic individual can get the job done, would they be denied because of their handicap? if i have long hair, am i denied because i don't fit the stereotypical mold of the office environment? i think so. not like i can do anything about that discrimination, but just thought i'd gripe.
by the way... i'm out of school. don't i feel cool.
tiredso i'd like to cordially invite you all (or y'all, if you'd like) to enter a realm of my subconscious that is easily accessible through manipulation and and pissing me off: my bitchiness cortex, located at the core of my fragile, and unstable psyche.
actually, i just got this weird urge to write, freewrite like we did as daily exercises in english last semester. but i really didn't want to write at all.... it was forced, but at the same time, it was free-flowing. don't question me, just accept it as i've explained it.
i refer to this little piece of mind as "letting the pen do the work ona cloudy day in may"
damn it, it's already 5
where has my life gone
i'm one lazy, apathetic bastard
maybe if i got up
i wouldn't be so cold and stiff
another emo-esque writing session?
fuck that
just because i have my own crap to complain about
god damn, just let it out
i keep it to myself, keep to myself
fucking hermit
what's the point of this
i don't feel like writing
i feel like writing
just for the sake of writing
this alone, however mundane
is all i've really accomplished this semester
and it shall be praised
by me, just me alone
and i stare blankly, zone out
let the same music soak my skin
and i'll bask in my routine mediocrity
there's no sun out anyway
and i don't know what should come next
i already fucked up two perfectly good lines
with failed attempts to complete
a single coherent thought
i'm quitting now
furthermore... after browsing my little book of songs and prose and poems and such, ha i think it's funny how naive and immature it all was a few years back compared to now, as it's much more educated and thought through and serious. i laughed, and cried on the inside as i realized what a freaking dork i was....
sigh.....
amusedthis is written fervently, as i greatly anticipate the end of school. i have the rest of today to finish up...... then 6 more full days of school after that... then 3 days of finals..... and my freshman year of college life will be behind me. and as the end approaches, i find myself caring less and less about the academics... but at the same time i'm putting forth some effort because i know i have to. but yeah, i don't really care to. it's all second hand information anyway. life will be much sweeter come may 13th, when i can snooze in my big bed, where i can control the thermostat, where i'll have my own room, where i'll be making money, etc....
reflecting on this year... what have i learned, experienced, endured? what were my trials and tribulations.... hmm........... this sounds like i'm giving my high school senior yearbook quote...... lame. but let's see anyway.....
-- met good people, befriended them, lost some of them, but kept the rest
-- learned i don't like recent US history
-- i know what the stars in the sky really are
-- two-stepping and line dancing is the only worthy thursday night activity
-- xbox is a hell of a lot of fun, and kills a lot of time
-- developed a couple of "love interests" but extinguished them for the better
-- realized i don't really appreciate organized religion, but religion and faith as a whole have significant meaning to me
-- discovered i may want to teach for a living
-- grew my hair out the longest it'd ever been..... it really was exciting
-- broke my 2 year concert-attending slump by seeing recover 2 nights in a row in dallas and austin
-- giving up carbonated drinks completely, and caffeinated drinks for the most part
-- being introduced to mitch hedberg and dane cook
-- getting a tattoo
-- getting my first suit
-- growing a beard
-- experiencing manipulation within relationships and the heartache that usually follows
-- finally admitting there's a relatively high probability of me becoming whipped when getting involved in an exclusive relationship
-- not taking girls' shit anymore
-- barber shop quartets in the communal shower stalls ("afternoon delight")
-- racquetball
-- gaining roughly 20 pounds this semester alone
-- being made into 1st south's social bulletin board on oral hygeine
-- average girls who introduce me to awesome music
i'm sure there's a lot more, but it doesn't come to me right now..... but i do know i need to shower.......... being clean is fun, and i have to practice oral hygeine and set the standard for the other guys in my wing.
people depend on me...
thoughtfultime seems to be moving so freaking slow. it's a monday though.... i'm sure that has a lot to do with it.
i'm taking a break from my studying to write in this.... i've been studying all day. seriously. since about 1 this afternoon. and it's now about 10:20. i have 2 tests tomorrow..... ugh. school. overrated
psychology and microeconomics..... i have a feeling one of the two will kick my ass tomorrow morning. and morning ass kickings are the worst kind.
i did read something interesting though in my psych book..... about language and trying to figure if other animals can understand or interpret linguistics..... and of course we all know of coco the gorilla and his kitten....... but i laughed at what they named one of the chimps: nim chimpsky. some polish descent apparently.
anyway...... yeah. i haven't studied this much since finals. and these are NOT finals..... and my finals this semester are cumulative too, unlike last semester.. oh well.
tiredso wednesday night, i went to the gypsy tea room in deep ellum, tx.... basically dallas, but way east.... and a little run down. and it took forever to find my way out of it. at the gypsy tea room i saw chase pagan, say anything, armor for sleep, and recover (in that order). a very sweet show. the best i've ever been to, so i thought at the time.
for a look at what i saw, go here: http://community.webshots.com/album/303816644PHwkns
i talked with robert and dan keyes from recover after the show, only to discover they were playing at emo's the following night (last night). so yesterday i high-tailed it home, bought a ticket, and went to emo's to support the local boys.
last night's show surpassed anything i've ever seen in my life, as far as concerts go. i have the bruises and cuts to show for it. i've never been sweatier, in more pain, and physically exhausted like i was last night from a show. i'm looking forward to looking for shows to see this summer....
i'm still in pain.... it's so good
sorei'm going to see recover, say anything, and armor for sleep tonight :-)
sort of my birthday present to myself. it's been over 2 years since i last went to a show. exciting
we have an ant problem in our room. we must kill these bugs dead. dead.
excitedso i got back from my lovely trip to tijuana, mexico late saturday night. it was a grand time. if you want the long drawn out details of the trip....... find last year's entry about this same time, and that'll basically explain it all to you, minus the crying over love thing..... there was no love this year.
the only differences this year were....... the place, i realized, is majestic and beautiful. from our worksite, you could see for miles, every mountain top, every hill. the recent floods and large quantities of rain in the san diego/ northern mexico region ignited the growth of lush plantlife in a seemingly desert wasteland. it was called by our group, "the flowers amongst the garbage." initially, all you see are mounds of trash and waste strewn about the land. as the week progresses, you learn to look past the lack of infrastructure in the city, past the poverty, and you notice something that very few outside of mexico actually witness. i learned to see beauty. several times while working, i would pause and look westward from our site, because you could see so far, you could see the ocean through the peaks and valleys that led to there. it was amazing. i wish i'd had a camera.
another difference.... i didn't go this year necessarily to bond my faith or to deepen it in any way. i went to work, to help those in need. but i guess in the process, my faith was tested in some ways.
finally...... "the funk" emerged within the group this year. for those of you unaware of just what the funk is....... i will explain. the funk is a gastrointestinal viral infection that causes unsightly expulsion of bodily fluids from both ends. it's not pretty when about 10 people are lying around helplessly puking their guts out. not to mention how contagious it was. luckily for those who contracted it.... it was shortlived. but i bet it was 24 hours of hell. i'm not really sure how many people got sick.... but i know it was in the double digits, and it spread like wildfire throughout the big group. i still don't know if i got it or not..... it could be laying dormant within, and could strike at a later date. if that's the case........ daaaaaaaamn.
oh.... and building houses can be a hazardous task. but that is not what injured me. the last day we were in tijuana, after all work had been completed, we were all cleaning up, trying to head out as quickly as possible...... and some of us decided to play frisbee in the room we'd slept in. it was cool until i wasn't paying attention and was drilled in the face, cutting pretty deeply above and below my left eye. it left a cool mark though. and it squirted blood. that was pretty cool. hopefully it'll scar up nicely. "yeah i got into a bar fight in TJ. beat that." furthermore.... we stayed in san diego again. we played frisbee on the beach again. i'm not sure what i did, but i really messed up my left food running on the sand. i don't know what i did to it, but it hurts like hell. it feels like a ligament or tendon is slipping around my heel each time i step on it. i'm going to have it checked out later today hopefully, if i can gimp my way over to the health clinic.
i made some good friends this time 'round. as well as reacquainting myself with old friends who i've not really spoken to in a while. it was good to see them all.
that's it. i'm not shaving for a while too i think. but yeah.. that's all for now.
tiredthe following will be described through the use of male A and male B.
male A: hey, how's it going?
male B: hey, pretty good. how are you?
male A: pretty good.
male B: good
male A and male B part ways
yeah i did that earlier and i started giggling to myself because it's the same scene every time i come across another guy. us fellas aren't too experimental with greeting each other.... some day i might want to just smack someone on the ass and wink at them as i walk off, provocatively shaking my hips with each step like a woman. yes...... that'll be the day that i stun all straight males of the human denomination. yeah it's never going to happen. i just think it's a funny idea, that's all. i'm all talk, you see..... and good thing, especially when it comes to these half-cocked, seemingly hilarious scenarios i play out in my mind that i might like to exploit at some time. so there will be no exploration of the barbara streisand in me. she must lay dormant. it's better off that way i think.
that's all i think. i just had a psych test....... damn.....
spring break, for me, begins in 2 days. for everyone else, 3. suckers... taking friday classes.
soreso the end of this week marks the half-way mark through the semester, which is exciting because this semester has flown by so far. spring break is in a week, going to tijuana. that will be one of the highlights of the year so far. and speaking of the year, it's already march. in four weeks, the year will officially be a quarter through. didn't it just become 2005? that's how i feel about it.
i'm excited about tomorrow. there is a special average person who i will be seeing for the first time in a while. we'll see how things go down with that. regardless of how it actually goes, i am excited to see her.
i was relieved at 3:20 this afternoon, because that meant my weekend officially began and i don't have to do anything this weekend really. i don't know what i'm going to do tonight though...... i'm a little too tired for billy bob's. i may just stay in.
i took a break from my unsual workout routine this past week, and i started back up last night. i discovered last night, that after 7 weeks of consistent lifting and exercise (tennis, racquetball, etc...) i've gained 15 pounds. now..... i've got a metabolism that was so fast it would take away from what weight and proteins i already had in my body. so maybe it's slowing down, which is cool. i just need to keep in shape. but i've never gained this much weight this rapidly. i'm pleased with it so far.
my roommate bought a really nice pair of guess jeans off of ebay a couple of weeks ago, only to find out that they don't fit. so he attempted to return them to the seller, but the guy wouldn't take them back. so now my roommate is stuck with these jeans that don't fit him, but fit his girlfriend just fine, and fit me well too. so he made his own ebay posting, trying to get rid of the jeans. it's up for only 2 more days. so i said if no one bid on them, i'd buy them from him, at the price he paid for them. since the jeans are probably about $100 retail, and he only paid $45, i think i'd be getting a pretty good deal.
on a side note....... in the month of february, i apparently spent roughly 2400 minutes on the phone.... free of charge of course. but still.... i amaze even myself sometimes.
when i watch you..... i wanna do you.. right where you're standing..... oh yeah.........
damnit i've got that song stuck in my head
oh yeah...... i turn the useless age of 19 in 11 days..... yippee. can't wait.
optimisticthis is a would be laid-back evening...... although it feels slightly lonesome.. a little depressing. almost..... a night of disappointment. sigh..
i feel a little ill.... maybe just a little bit off..... i have a chill i can't control..... even though i've thoroughly covered myself...
damnit i feel so off..
so is it really goodbye...... goodbye for good.. whether for better or worse..
is it goodbye
discontentso a certain haverford person hinted to me that i should update this thing....... so i am doing just that.
hell, i don't know what to say........ it looks like i'll kind of be celebrating 2 separate spring breaks this year. that will be exciting. of course i won't be missing classes or anything like that... but i will be seeing a special person i know. i'm excited!
i had a debate earlier today about religion... those are always fun. i think some people take their religion too seriously, and some are just too apathetic... i don't know. it's not my call to tell people that their views are wrong, or that their belief systems are skewed.... realistically, everyone's "beliefs" are skewed to allowing us to gain the things we want........ that's just me, though.
i got a care package from my mom two days ago for valentine's day. it made me happy because i need skittles, m+m's, oatmeal cream pies, brownies, and chocolate chip cookies. oh, and a bank statement.....
i've been extraordinarily happy these past few days. i'm not quite sure why............. hmmmmmmmmm ;-) i'm sure there's a reason for it.
what else is there??
nada
happyit's been a while since i've written anything.... so this could be extraordinarily long... or i could just not care and write a minimal amount...
i got a tattoo on monday
tiredi'm below $1200 now!
i went with my friend Tobi to a tattoo parlor last night, to watch her get a tattoo. it was much fun. i took pictures with my handy-dandy camera phone. it's a cross... but it's just supposed to be the shadow outline of a cross, as if a beam of light were being shown on it at an angle. it's really cool. i want one now. on my wrist i think. yes
fun times last night..... scaring Tobi's roommate with my veins (she's afraid of them for some reason).... baking cakes late at night.. watching the bourne supremacy (excellent movie).... and then falling asleep on her couch and waking up this morning in a strange place. but it was still fun
this has been a weekend of procrastination, to the extreme.
i was invited to go to a concert next friday..... marc broussard i think..... i've never heard of him, but supposedly he's good. i don't have any money to go to it though... so i'm SOL
i re-dyed my hair just a while ago, redder than before, with a permenant hair mix thing. i like it. it looks good, i've been told.
i need to read 2 chapters for astronomy.... and also get up early in the morning for tennis... that'll be a blast. friggin cold morning
the blisters on my hands are looking better. the one spot that was all bloody and nasty isn't quite so bloody and nasty anymore. that's good.
i want a tattoo. get inked
hyperso i'm almost down to $1200....... i'm well on my way to becoming a fat pig at the rate i've been eating since i got here.... i think i've been eating twice as much a day as we're technically, monetarily, supposed to. go me.
damn this cough..... maybe i should suck it up and actually take cough medicine....... i hate that stuff. every time i cough, it feels like my ribs are about to pop out. that doesn't seem very natural to me, unless i was being impaled by something..... which is still an unnatural act itself.
my eyes itch really bad right now...
billy bob's tonight? yes? no? maybe? hmmmm..... first thursday back at school... it could be packed..... then again...... attendance was minimal when finals were over. so who knows.
the red in my hair is fading... damnit.
so i said something funny today, whilst talking with my friend Caitlin:
CORBENATOR (5:50:13 PM): that must've been a mighty kids meal you ate, because you were gone quite a while
penelope135 (5:50:22 PM): HAHAHAHAHA
CORBENATOR (5:50:33 PM): oh i made myself laugh
yes. one for the home team
astronomy looks like it could kick my ass into space... we'll see. not to mention my math teacher confused me beyond any comprehension today over simple algebra. i'm so smart. i'm in college, guys. i'm smart.
i think maybe i REALLY should take some medicine.... and i need to go to the store as well.
should i go to billy bob's?
what about another 2 hour long nap.... that was nice yesterday.
medicine?
confusedso i have $1245 to use on my meal plan for this semester.... i'd better get crackin at it.
i am eating one of those oats n' honey granola bars right now.... and i began to wonder......... if i eat this, and drink some water, could wheat begin to sprout in my stomach? that would be cool. awkward and painful, i'm sure..... but cool nonetheless. who else could claim such a feat??
tuesdays are hectic i decided..... 4 classes total. 3 down so far... and one more in 15 minutes or so....... astronomy. yay
going back to food..... i'm so freaking hungry all the time
cynicalso i drove my dandy self up to fort worth yesterday in about 2 and a half hours.... going at about a constant 80 mph...... sweet.
upon my arrival, i learn that my room had become a reservoir since the sink had overflown earlier in the day. damn that sucked. it took about 45 minutes to unload everything out of my car, and then almost 2 hours to set up everything, avoiding the big wet spot on the floor at all costs. it feels weird to be back up here... oh well
i was woken up today by my phone ringing.... that didn't make me too happy.... then kevin made me go work out with him..... and now i'm dehydrated and feeling ill....... i think i'll go lie down
tiredtoday was an interesting day.....
an update on those blisters on my hand... i woke up a little past 7 this morning because one of them was throbbing so much... it felt infected almost.... but it had split down the center... not pretty.
i hung out with my friend Holley today after she got out of school. it was a very nice time seeing an old friend. we got something to eat, hung out a bit, played pool (i was attacked by her dogs), went to a high school basketball game. it was fun to see her. that accent is craaaaaazy cool.
now i'm just bored.... watching dances with wolves with my parents...... i'm super cool
don't know what else to say.
p.s..... my dog smells horrible and has that waxy feel to her coat..... sick
blahi have nothing to say currently..... except that these blisters on my hand are ridiculously annoying......
OLE!
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