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Friday, December 13th, 2002
4:55 pm - DEPRESSED!!!
Words can not describe how depressed I am. I am scared. I'm scared of life, myself, life.... I know for sure I made a F in French, but I'm sure I failed/have a D in more. I admit to slacking off, but there is so much going on in my life, mainly my depression. I'm so scared/confused. I'm 15, just a little girl. When did I grow up and get kicked out into the big bad world? I never asked to be where I am now, I feel like yesterday I was 4 in daycare and I was thrown into a life I don't know anything about. I'm in this body trying to figure out what to do with French and geometry when I'd rather be playing tag. I really do want to do well this semester-I really do, but I know before I can I must grow up. I just hope I can grow up in 3 weeks before next semester starts. O Bose.

Love,
Anastasia

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Thursday, December 12th, 2002
5:21 pm
Today was rather uneventful. Oh, poo. I had a TAR meeting and we discussed the Christmas party. We're going to have it in January. Heh heh. Today I was quite disturbed by a conversation in English. Ms. Tomlinson spoke of how over 50% of 6th period yesterday don't become upset when a complete stranger is killed. I cry when I watch the news!!! She also said that years ago a student with cerebal paulsey(sp?)fell down while walking and a sleuth of stuent just passed without giving him a second glance!!! When I heard that I was almost in tears. Maybe I am just hyper-sensitive, but where is the compassion?!

Love,
Anastasia

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Wednesday, December 11th, 2002
6:01 pm - Gaffney High DRAMA!!!
O Bose. I do not know what I did to deserve the "friends" I have. Billie and Daina completely and utterly hate my for no good reason other than having a different opinion. How mature. @ lunch today somehow Billie got on the topic of religon. First, I would just like to say that Billie is a drama queen. Billie was yapping about how she dislikes anyone who is not Christian(and up until recently she thought Catholics were not Christian). She was running her trap about how everyone not Christian is going to hell. I disagree, I believe if you are a good;Atheist, Jew, Muslim, Hindu, Wiccan, Druid, Animist, etc. you will go to heaven. Now I'm not going to get huffy about a little disagreement on religon, but then Billie says that if I truly believe that I am going to hell aswell! :-0!!! And now she and Daina(who has never had an original thought of her own)are running around calling anyone who is not Christian, and myself a devil worshipper! I know I'm not perfect, but in all honesty I try soooo hard to be the best person I can be and do God's will, but this is ridiculous!!! These are SUPPOSED to be my best friends, but in all honesty I'm not shocked this happened-I've been waiting to be stabbed in the back, so this is no real suprise, but it makes me a mite sad that our friendship ended this way. Oh, well...I have my pride and I bow down to no one, but God, and so I refuse to conform to an opinion I don't agree with even if I lose my "best friends", they weren't really friends to me anyway, just companions.

Love,
Anastasia

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