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[21 Feb 2005|10:13pm] |
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mood |
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 infuriated |
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I feel like screaming. I can't believe you think I would pick him over you. I can't believe I would throw away all the years we have had. To tell you the truth in the the beganing I use to talk him all the time about you. Yes YOU! Now I can't even look at you the same way because I don't care if you say its not true. You are letting Jelousy get the best of you.
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| -Treat me like a ragdoll. |
[19 Jan 2004|12:13am] |
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mood |
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 thirsty |
] |
| [ |
music |
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Janes Addiction- Jane Says |
] |
Drama...
I wish I could set all the drama free.
oh no. Not me. Its stuck in me like a mime in a box.
I am thirsty damn-it.
-xo
Aut.umn
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| -happy thoughts |
[10 Jan 2004|12:10am] |
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Here-o, Why You skip 5th hour? I missed you!
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| -trying to hold it in, but it needs to be said |
[04 Jan 2004|12:05am] |
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SHOVE IT
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[02 Jan 2004|11:46pm] |
Not sure how to feel why don't you tell me how to.
Happy Birthday Nikki.
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| -Not un heard of- |
[02 Jan 2004|12:24am] |
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mood |
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 thoughtful |
] |
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music |
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Green Day- Basket Case |
] |
Waking up in Grand Rapids make me feel so alive. I just love how everything is there. Spending only two days there is never enough. I wish if possible to live there. I don't want to though. Maybe when I get older I could move there. So I went there for a total of two days. We would of stayed longer if we didn't have a dentist appt.
We left Sunday at 4:30. Got to Grand Rapids at 6:30. Got unloaded. Talked a little. Then moved on to what to have for dinner.There are only a hundred dessions to make. Decided to go to Shamrocks. It was really good. Had some quality time with Nick. We played race cars. He had to sit on my lap cause he couldn't reach the pedels. Seeing that he is only 4. Went home after that. Watched Nick play Huntin'2. Then he tought me how to play. I played that for about 20 minutes. Then we went downstairs with Jess to play on the X-box. We were going to play Halo(his favorite game), but instead played Tony Hawk Pro Skater 4. Then my cousin Justin came home and played with him for about 10 minutes. Then Nick and I went up stairs to play Huntin'2. Then around 10 Nick went to bed. My dad, uncle Jim and I all played Huntin'2 till 12 in the morning. Then I went downstairs to fall asleep and watch Jess play Tony Hawk 4. Woke up. Talked with the family. Looked out side and felt relaxed. Then took a shower after my aunt Gracie sewed my button back on my pants. Then we procceded to go to the Rivertown Mall. I love this mall by the way. I got a scarf and hat, some chap stick, pants, and a magazine. Went back to their house. After picking up Nick from Day care of course. Joked around with him on the car ride back. Got back. Played more games. Huntin'2 the most.Played "good guy, bad guy" with Nick. He hurt my hand. Then had a dinner that everyone made. I made the baked potatoes. Then after cleaning up Nick, Jess, and I played a three-way game of Halo. Fun. Then I went upstairs to talk to family. Played "good guy, bad guy" with Nick and Jess. Then Nick had to go to bed after a little more joking around. Jess and I ventured up to Justins room to talk and what not. He messed around with his blow gun. Then Big B(Brian) showed up. Sat around some more talked and watched them two fight over who shot the better pin with the blow gun. Then moved downstairs to play Tony Hawk 4 by myself and have everyone watch me. Brian taught me new things. Then Justin Played Need for Speed. I listened to my cd player then moved on to his MP3 player. Laughing at Brian and Jay fight. Then falling asleep on the floor at 12:45 cause Justin was still playing Need for Speed. Then they left. I moved to my couch. Then Brian came back down and scared the crap out of me. He said night. That morning at 8:30 packed up and headed out. As always I never drove the intire time.
I hate dentist. They make me scared. At least the eye doctors doesn't freak me out so much. Came home. Not sure what I did.
New Years Eve we went shopping at the Saginaw mall. I found that Huntin'2, that nick has got me hooked to and the sign said 13.99 so my parents said theyed get it. But it rung up to 34.99. I was sad. I didn't even get anything at the mall just some food. Came home then went shopping. Drove from Kroger to M-15 Mc.D. Went to Meijers. Came home cleaned a real little. Then had to go to Meijers again. Dashing from people(hiding). Then went to Krogers again. Then came home made desert. Chocolate Banana Pudding treat. Then had to go get Pizza. At 12, we broke open the chardonay. GROSS. I had two sips and threw the rest down the sink. Then my dad made my sister and I Punch and Colada drinks. Good stuff. I didn't drink all of that either. Stayed up till 4:30 by myself. Kind of dissapointed with some people. Didn't get drunk cause getting drunk if for well you know.
New Years went to the Bay City mall. Got a sweater. Then took the movies back and made some mac and cheese.
Tomorrow looks like Birch Run.
I haven't Hung out with anyone this intire break. Oh well.
This(last) year was not bad mental. Physical it was. I didn't have any depression moods or any fights or any hiding out away from friends. Physical I lost my Grandfather and a dog. Two hardest things for me.
painting the town your favorite color
don't bottle up your feelings, let them out with out having to intoxicate your self just to feel wanted
-true statement
.Autumn
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| _Call me lazy |
[27 Dec 2003|12:51am] |
| [ |
mood |
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 groggy |
] |
| [ |
music |
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Outkast- I like the way You Move |
] |
Ok so its been awhile. I'll try to fill you in.
Three days before Christmas Eve. I had an Eye appt. I am getting glasses. I have to wear these and if my eyes get worse I have to get bi-focals. They are "emo" glasses, as my sister calls them and they are black and white. I drove that day to Saginaw and back.
Three nights before Christmas eve my father decideds to do his shopping. So of course who gets dragged along. Tons of people at the mall, well duh. We got some things then after 2 hours at the mall we move on to Meijers. Another 2 hours at Meijers. Then come home about 10:30. Get the tree decorations out. Decorate the tree till 1. Wrap my mothers presents till 2. Then proceed to bed.
Two Days before Wake up to go gift wrapping at the mall at 8:30. Had to be there by 11. Got there walked around looking for Brian. Finally found him. Then had some fun wrapping. This one lady was a total bitch to us. God damn we couldn't get her box wrapped right so she was like "could you hurry I have to get to work". I'm like yes sorry. Then Brian did like the worst job wrapping cause the lady made him nervous. Then she just shook her head at us and left with out saying anything. I mean come on it was a "Free gift wrapping", if you didn't like it then why didn't you just do it yourself? Then this one guy came up with his two sons. They were so cute. They couldn't see over the table but they were so adorable. Their dad told them Brian and I were Santa's Helpers. hehe. Then my WONDERFUL cousin Mel showed up with some, Puppy Chow. I was so hungry at the momment too. I love her. Then when I got out at 2, My mom, my sister, Mel, and I all went to the food court to talk and what not. Then we came home cause I was informed that we had to go pick up Chad and go to grandma's to clean. Oh fun. I cleaned quite alot. Then watched Chad play Vice City. It looked like a fun game. Came home and went to bed.
Christmas Eve day. Got up can't quite remeber what I did. That day though I wrapped presents and watched "The Grinch". I love that movie. Then my parents went to Joann Fabrics. Fun Fun. Then I made Christmas Eve dinner. We had nachos. They turned out ok. Watched "The Muppets Christmas Caorl", Family traditon. I feel asleep as always half way through it. Woke up to the dog barfing on my sisters blanket. Then we watched George Lopez's Christmas. Then we watched about 10 homeade movies. I was such a cute little kid, and skinny. Then I gave my dog a bath and clipped her toenails. I watched a little bit of "A Christmas Story". Then went to bed at 1:30.
Woke up on Christmas day at 8:45. Layed around on the couch. Till 10:30 to open presents. I got:
. A GameBoy Advanced
. PowerPuff Girls Game
. Dexters Lab. Game
. Sims for the computer
. A pair of workout pants
. The Singles "No Doubt"
. The Love Below/Speakerboxx "Outkast"
. The Reason "Hoobastank"
. A Crest box set including white strips, and some toothpaste
. A camera for my gameboy
. Two stripe shirts
. The Marylon Monre book
. A star/moon wall clock
. A new stero for my room
. A printer with scanner
. A scarf
. A jacket
. underwear
. socks
. Two purses
/ 20$ gift card for the book stores
/ Two 10$ gift certifactes for the mall
/ A lap sewing kit
/ 20$
. 50$
. 200$
/ 30$
/ A tree oniment
/ A shirt
/ Some choclate
. Pin-up Book
. Art kit
(.=mom,dad,jess / =family)
I think that about wraps it up. I made Christmas Breakfast. Man, I was so full. Around 4 we dug our selves out and went my Grandma's. Another family fight, hey whats a family get together with out one. I seen my cousins. John is funny. Then John(W) took Mel away from us. He gave me a hug. Then towards the end Chad and I played Vice City. I killed myself every time I got a new car. Horrible. Then I came home and went to bed.
Today I went shopping. Not many sales. Got some game holders 9 for $4.99. Then I got a Spiderman Gameboy Holder. Then I got some Sugar shoes from Pac Sun. Then I got a belt, its like a seatbelt. Then I came home fell asleep after having some taco bell. Then got up watched t.v. Played my PowerPuff Girls game and then went to G.Tonys. I kind of got sick so then we came home. I have been laying around since. Now I feel a little better.
I think we are going to G.R. for a little bit either Sunday or Monday, or Both. A get away.
Well My sister is hooking up our stero so I am going to help.
not sure how to end this, goodbye to the years held on
Autumn
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| Lets let the memories fade away. |
[17 Dec 2003|09:28pm] |
skrew everything we relied on.
I hate this wonderful life.
later update
Autumn
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| -knees hitting knees- |
[11 Dec 2003|09:48pm] |
School today. Not bad. Deidra lost her wallet. I am looking all over for it. If you seen a black wallet with a skull on it and it says Lucky 13 leave a message!
I got to go, Trevan wants to call me
Autumn
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