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Gone, but I don't know where

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moving to someplace new [12 Jul 2004|04:41am]
to this side of the town
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[12 Jun 2004|11:40pm]
I haven't left the house in a week. None of my friends have texted me to see how I'm doing. Ouch.
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[10 Jun 2004|02:49am]
[ mood | blah ]
[ music | while we're in love - ivy ]

In all seriousness

What do you really want?: I want to cease existing.
Where is your life going?: Nowhere
How often are you on the Net?: Ack, I'm on all day.
Why do you eat like you do?: Because my brain is a little funny.
Who do you want to be with right at this very second?: Beth.

No longer being serious

What did you last eat?: tea, sweet sweet tea.
What CD are you listening to alot lately?: scarlets walk - tori amos and morning view - incubus
How many rooms are in your home?: 3 bedrooms, 2 bathrooms, kitchen, lounge and sunroom
Do you often use slang? erm, not often, I don't think.
Buy any Dvd's lately?: I don't have a dvd player :(
Why are you taking this survey?: Because it's almost 3am here and I can't fucking sleep.
Do you like animals?: I like them from afar.
what is your favorite Radio station?: Control FM
Do you do much with your life?: No, nadda, I'm bordering on the undead in this respect.
what is the most you would pay for food?: I pay big bucks for over priced coffee. Sweet sweet coffee.

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yes its an addiction... [03 Jun 2004|11:11pm]
[ mood | sick ]
[ music | wild - poe ]

What song...
Fits your life as it is currently the most?: fallen - sarah mclachlan
Reminds you to be grateful for the little things?: theres gotta be more to life - stacey orrico (ah hell I'm stuck on this one.)
Makes you wanna get up and dance?: dirrty - christina aguhowever you spell her name.
Makes you reach for a box of kleenex?: me and a gun - tori amos
Reminds you of something you've lost?: humpty dumpty - aimee mann
Is the one you secretly like but would NEVER admit?: any 50 cent song
Reminds you of your crush/boyfriend/girlfriend?: (ex, i don't have a current) a sorta fairytale - tori amos
Is the most depressing?: wise up - aimee mann
Can put you in a horribly depressing mood?: miss misery - elliott smith
Can put you in a hyperily happy mood?: hey pretty - poe
Causes your imagination to soar?: instant pleasure - rufus wainwright
Makes you want things you can never have?: love song - cure
Inspires you?: imagine - john lennon
Makes you kinda horny?: change in the house of flies - deftones, remix of hey pretty
Is your all-time favourite?: how am i different - aimee mann
Makes you calm and rather content?: blue skies - ella fitzgerald
Has personal meaning to you?: a case of you - joni mitchell

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[21 Mar 2004|12:05am]
[ mood | apathetic ]
[ music | lost in space - aimee mann ]

Holy fuck, my precious Broken Board is gone! where has it moved to? or worse has it closed down?
That's what I get for neglecting to read the newsletters I signed up for. Bah.

I keep telling myself to do pilates & yoga, I haven't ever since school started. I've turned into a shapeless junk food eating blob. :( My thighs are jiggling like jelly, how umm.. attractive. Right?


*Edit* I didn't realise how whiny I sound about my weight. I actually enjoy being chubby-ish again. But alas these thoughts are still prevalent.

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Because I nothing else to say [06 Mar 2004|10:03pm]
[ mood | indescribable ]

Last Cigarette:: I don't smoke.
Last Alcoholic Drink:: Cheap wine mixed with Sprite on the first day back at school
Last Car Ride:: Friday afternoon from school
Last Kiss:: Sad but true, I've never been kissed.
Last Good Cry:: This morning
Last Library Book checked out:: Polaroids from the dead - Douglas Coupland
Last Movie Seen in Theatres:: Last year
Last Book Read:: An unquiet mind
Last Movie Rented:: Heh, like I ever go out.
Last Cuss Word Uttered:: I don't swear, biotch.
Last Beverage Drank:: Coffee
Last Food Consumed:: Corn
Last Crush:: I am beyond infatutations.
Last Phone Call:: From dad
Last TV Show Watched:: Batman
Last Time Showered:: This morning
Last Shoes Worn:: My apple shoes, ROAR
Last CD Played:: Mixed CD
Last Item Bought:: Food
Last Download:: Porn!
Last Annoyance:: R
Last Disappointment:: R
Last Soda Drank:: I am beyond fizzy sodapop
Last Thing Written:: My last post
Last Key Used:: to open my locker
Last Word Spoken:: I hate you to my reflection.
Last Sleep:: this morning
Last IM:: with R
Last Sexual Fantasy:: Having sex with two men
Last Weird Encounter:: Don't know
Last Ice Cream Eaten:: It's been forever
Last Time Amused:: Don't know
Last Time Wanting To Die:: Today
Last Time In Love:: 2 days ago
Last Time Hugged:: Last year
Last Time Scolded:: This afternoon
Last Time Resentful:: this afternoon
Last Chair Sat In:: the one I'm sitting on now
Last Lipstick Used:: Cover Girl lipslick. Bad colour I choose to buy.
Last Underwear Worn:: GRANNY PANTIES. They rule.
Last Bra Worn:: Last week.
Last Shirt Worn:: Green tank top
Last Webpage Visited:: diary-x.com

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[06 Mar 2004|09:30pm]
[ mood | crappy ]
[ music | aimee mann - pavlov's bell ]

My god, I want to puke on the kirbies I posted. Back to my cynical self again. Summer came and left with no notice. Flooding came and stayed for awhile instead.

So much for the sun and eating chocolate chip ice-cream cones.

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[06 Dec 2003|01:44am]
[ mood | horny ]
[ music | the ringing in my ears ]

Summer is here! I'm so happy (>^_^)><(^_^<)
See, I'm happy and cute today. Whaddya know eh?

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hey, look I'm still up at 3:30 in the morning... oops [30 Nov 2003|03:30am]
[ mood | cold ]
[ music | bbc news ]

Goal for the rest of the year: get a regular sleeping routine! must wake up before 8am. In preparation for re-attending school next year.
Yay, look at me, I'm being responsible for my sleeping hygiene.
I... err... will start when the holidays start, yes. Now I'll just have to see if I follow my plans. Any bets I won't do any of this? *puts my hands up*

I'll just have to see...

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i love surveys, and you know it [22 Nov 2003|02:07am]
[ mood | lonely ]
[ music | one - aimee mann ]

10 Careers You Could Find Yourself Doing Someday:
(Dream job or not)
1. nurse
2. artist/painter
3. second-hand book store owner aka crazy lady behind the counter
4. librarian
5. art therapist
6. clinical psychologist
7. writer
8. photographer
9. web designer
10. stripper

09 Things You're Looking Forward To:
1. christmas!
2. a day off for my parents
3. when the school holidays begins
4. shopping for new summer clothes, shopping in general
5. sleep
6. to see my friends again
7. to have friends
8. talking to rohit on msn tomorrow (hopefully)
9. meeting rohit

08 Things You Wear Daily:
1. underwear
2. pajamamamas
3. robe
4. glasses
5. tank top
6. sweater
7. unbrushed hair
8. sometimes a bra

07 Things That Piss You Off:
1. spam and websites that says I get a free report but end up making me pay, though I don't, so they spam me and sell out my personal info that I am stupid enough to give out. may they all burn in hell, damn spammers.
2. the next door neighbour's cat that climbs in through any open window into the house
3. my very slow working computer
4. the even slower connection
5. that we don't have sky tv
6. my poor concentration
7. side-effects of my medication

06 Of Your Favorite Authors:
1. mark z. danielewski
2. douglas adams
3. jostein gaarder
4. neil gaimen
5. chuck pahlaniuk
6. terry prachett

(In no particular order, these are mostly the authors that came to my head first and that I'm reading)

05 Things You're Happy To Say You've accomplished:
1. going back to work again, thus moolah available to spend on stuff and that makes me happy
2. deciding to be going back to school next year, even if i will be repeating the same grade for the third year. shut up, I'm not dumb, just socially inept :(
3. to be considered sane enough to be discharged soon (i'm dreadfully terrified what will happen after without my safety net)
4. finished my science test and workbook
5. figured out a new "technique" to make myself to orgasm faster. too much info?

have you noticed my pessimistic nature?

04 Of Your Favorite Bands:
1. aimee mann
2.eliott smith
3. sneaker pimps
4. poe!

03 Movies You Could Watch Over And Over:
1. fight club
2. ghost world
3. some hilariously funny comedy I have yet to watch but will find it sooner or later, suggestion will be helpful.

02 Of Your Favorite Toys:
1. computer I guess
2. i want a vibrator and it will become my favourite toy *ahem*

01 Thing You Wish You Had Right Now:
1. rohit in my bed. and a nice bowl of chicken soup. they can count as one.

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[22 Nov 2003|12:05am]
[ mood | discontent ]
[ music | independent - some asian pop star ]

I don't think I have left the house for months now, not even to go to the dairy down the road. Sad? yes?

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Quiz Time [13 Nov 2003|02:44pm]
[ mood | nauseated ]
[ music | nothing is good enough - aimee mann ]

You know the deal )

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[13 Nov 2003|01:29am]
[ mood | cheerful ]
[ music | nightmare girl ]

I've found a new cartoon (well, to me) to obsess over *insert bursting heart smilie* click click clickie

Insomniacs have the coolest shows to watch late at night.

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[05 Nov 2003|07:58pm]
[ mood | bored ]
[ music | tv ]

Ahh, someone introduce me to new singers or bands! As much as I adore Aimee Mann (obviously). It can be downright depressing. I need something new and less misplaced. Maybe Bjork will do the trick... Suggestions, please!

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I'm so addicted [01 Nov 2003|02:30am]
[ mood | hungry ]
[ music | use me - fiona apple ]

Three things that scare me:
1: lose of control
2: failure
3: people
Three people who make me laugh:
1: homestarrunner.com
2: lame jokes
3: cartoons and cheesy sitcoms
Three Things I love:
1: books
2: music
3: sleep
Three Things I hate:
1: dumb assholes
2: my body
3: fat
Three things I don't understand:
1: people
2: being cruel to others
3: fashion
Three things on my desk:
1: drink bottle
2: hot chocolate
3: cellphone
Three things I'm doing right now:
1: chatting on msn
2: listening to elliott smith
3: filling in this
Three things I want to do before I die:
1: make a mark in this world
2: create a big collection of my art work in various forms
3: get a social life
Three things I can do:
1: draw
2: eat
3: sleep
Three ways to describe my personality:
1: obsessive
2: control freak
3: shy
Three things I can't do:
1: gain more weight than I already have
2: wear matching clothes
3: be athletic

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I'll fake it through the day... [29 Oct 2003|11:47pm]
[ mood | irritated ]
[ music | miss misery - elliott smith ]

I've been using the Colgate Whitening Gel for about a week now. The "paint-on" one. And I've noticed it's actually my teeth yellower. Or is it just me? being more aware of the shade my teeth are. Argh better be the latter. I did not pay to get yellow teeth goddammit, that's the coffees job!

I think I'll be more self-conscious of my smile now.

Oh, another thing, well person, I've discovered this week. Only because I was informed of Elliott Smith's death and was intrigued to who they are talking about. And I'm glad I downloaded his music. Fucking wow, I fell in love with his music instantly. I've been listening to him all day. I really wish I knew his work earlier.

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teapot and two apples [08 Oct 2003|12:35am]
[ mood | sleepy ]
[ music | hum of the computer ]

a portion of a drawing i drew today, of a teapot and two apples. drawn in ink, pen and colouring pencil. i actually spent time on this, and actually focused on this drawing. ah, and just imagine what i can create if i had more motivation and energy and practiced more. shhh, yes, i do like what i have made, thus why i have chosen to show it here.
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shaving cream is not just for shaving [01 Oct 2003|01:35am]
[ mood | sore ]
[ music | aimee mann - calling it quits ]

again i spent today working on my schoolwork, considering i have been slacking off pretty much all days of this year, so i am compensating with working as much as i can bear in the holidays. so yes, i was working on my art, and *gasp* i absent-mindedly spilled half the bottle of ink onto the carpet! where it can be so obviously visible with the massive blotch of black ink on a nice blue rug, causing anyone who dares look at it to cringe. but ah! bless useless information, which isn't really useless. i used shaving cream and cold water to get it all out! it worked too! lucky huh? no obvious dark blooge to be seen. *whew*

so there's a handy hint for anyone to remember. i remembered it on the household cleaning thread on tf, oh bless the poster who said something about shaving cream taking stains out. though i should of been sensible enough to wear gloves, my hands still faintly reeks of shaving cream, even after washing it so many times. kind of burns too, on my skin. a minor side effect aye? i got the bloody stain out, (woohoo!) that's all that really matters.

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survey! [23 Sep 2003|05:55pm]

What color are your eyes? dark brown.
What color do you want them to be? emerald green.
Do they change color? nope.
Are your eyes beautiful? no, not particulary.
Do you believe they reveal your soul? i doubt it.
Do you have expressive eyes? no?
What are they shaped like? almonds.
Who has the prettiest eyes? i don't know, sorry.
What's the best eye color? green.
Do you wear contacts? i had once.
Glasses? yes
Are your eyes deep? umm, you can decide for yourself.
Are they dark? yes.
Do you always look for nice eyes? not really.
Do your eyes sparkle when you smile or cry? (Other than the fact that they're moist) i have no idea, i don't think it does.
Do you have long lashes? kind of, yes.
Do you have thick lashes? yes.
Are your lashes curled? no.
Are lashes really important? no not at all.
Do you wear a lot of eyeliner/eyeshadow? a little, sure, but not a lot.
What's the best eye color on the opposite sex? any unusual hue really.
Do you people tell you you have nice eyes? nope.


Do you like your nose? no! if i can afford it, i'll get a nosejob.
Is it flat? yes.
Have you injured it before? nope.
Is it broad? no.
Is it pointy? no.
Does it resemble Christina Aguilera's nose? haha no, i have an asian nose.
Do you pluck anything regarding your nose? no.
Do you always poke your nose where it's not wanted? no.
Do you have a button nose? somewhat.
Would you pierce it? no.

Do you have small ears? small, i get made fun of it sometimes.
Are they flexible? yes.
Are they sensitive? somewhat.
Are they pierced? yes.
...More than once on each? it was, it's closed up.
Do you always clean them? sometimes.
Do you hear well? god no, it gets difficult to follow a conversation.
Do you like your ears? guess so.


Do you like your cheeks? no!
Are they chubby? very.
Do you have high cheekbones? no.
Do you think cheekbones are really important? yes.
Are your cheeks smooth? yes.
Are they rosey? not really.
Do people often pinch them? no, good thing too.
Do they make you look nice? no.
Got a dimple? nope.


Are your lips really red? no.
Are they pale? no.
Are they fleshy/pink? yeah.
Are they full? no, i wish it is!
Are they small? yes.
Is one lip larger than the other? yeah.
Do you want thick lips? yes.
Who has the best lips? angelina jolie.
Do you wear lip gloss? yeah.
Lip stick? yeah.
Lip liner? no.
Do you kiss a lot? never.
Are your lips smooth? sometimes.
Do you like your lips in general? yes.
Do you have a nice smile? i've been told it is.
Would you pierce your bottom lip? never.


Do you have a broad chin? no.
Is it cute? somewhat.
Have you ever had a double chin? yes!
Does it define your face well? i really don't know.
Got a cleff? (sp?) nope.


Do you have a nice neck? yeah.
Got big bones around there? not really.
Have you ever been strangled/choked? no.
Do you have a smooth neck? yeah.
Do you like your neck? it's okay.
Do you always show it? not always.
Do you like turtlenecks? yeah.
Do you sweat a lot at the back of your neck? no.


Do you have a nice collarbone? i guess.
Are your shoulders bone? yeah.
Is your skin smooth around there? yeah.
Are you gifted regarding your chest? not even close.
Do you wish you are, if not? of course.


Do you like your arms? no.
Are they slender? no.
Got tattoos around there? nope.
Do you have smooth skin there? yes.
Do you have dark elbows? no.
Are your elbows bone? yes.
What are your wrists like? tiny.
Do your veins show a lot? yes.
Your bones? kinda.
Do you wear watches? no.
Are your fingers slim? they're like twigs.
Are they long? in proportion to my hands, yeah.
Do they have a certain shape? no.
Are your fingertips narrow/candlike/small/larger than your fingers? larger.
Do you wear rings? no.
Do you have "girlie" fingers? yeah.
Does your palm have a lot of lines? yes.
Are there these two lines on your palms that kinda meet at one point and form a triangle of some sort? yes.
You know that means you'll be rich, right? i hope so!
Are the lines are your palm long? yeah.
Do you know that long lines mean you're really loving, smart, responsible, etc.? now i do.
Do your lines form chain-like patterns? yes.
If they do they represent tough times. figures, i have a lot, in all my main lines.
What are your nails like? short and pink.
Do you wear fake nails? no.
Do you have small nails? yes.
Are they pink? (Natural color) yes.
Are your nails weak? yes.
Do you paint them? sometimes.


Does your waist go in? no.
Did you have to work for that? it doesn't go in.
Do you have Janet's abs? i don't want her abs.
Do you have a flat stomach? if i lie down, haha.
Is it tan? nope.
Would you pierce your navel? i already have it pierced.
Do you often show your stomach? no.


Do you think your privates are nice-looking? i think my vagina looks weeeeird.
What's the hair like down there? normal
Ever had any foreign objects in/around your privates? yeah.
Got a name for your privates? it.
How often do you get horny? all the damn time.
How many people have seen your privates? uh, only myself.
Can you do any neat tricks with your privates? lmao, no.
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[23 Sep 2003|04:34pm]
[ mood | silly ]
[ music | the tv ]

so long since my last update! i haven't been keeping any of my journals up to date actually. mostly because i don't see any reason to. not like there's much happening in my life *rolls eyes* it's the school holidays here, as much as i love not being stressed about my school work, children screaming in the afternoon is irratating! i worked on my art yesterday, *sigh* two hours and only then did i realised i've been doing it wrong.

*drooools* there's chocolate on TV. me want some, now! must remember to buy plenty next time i get to go to grocery shopping. mmmm, cadbury chocolate ice-cream, heaven!

no one is really online right now, thus noone to talk to, as to why i'm writing here. but hey, still have my precious television. with all the toy advertisments, i crave to be 8 years old again. though, i'm sure that's not so unusual. i think i'm really just stringing this entry along, because i don't have anything to say quite honestly. hehe, i shall look for a survey to fill in..

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