| today... |
[11 Apr 2008|12:17pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 melancholy |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
never knew i could feel like this... |
] |
i woke up today hoping that it would hurt less...and that i would feel better...not really...my first thought when i woke up was him...how did he get under my skin so far? *sigh* i miss him & i never even had him...thank god i never had sex with him...because that would make this whole "fresh start" thing even harder...that was all him though, because we all know i would've done him had i gotten the opportunity...*ihatemyself* but that's beyond the point...i can't wait till wednesday to show him the instant improvement...i just can't wait...i know i'll go in, wearing something nice...with my make-up and hair all done...agent o and possibly zippy will be already seated on the only comfortable couch thing, but instead of squeezing between them, i'll grab a chair and sit by them. I will not get up and challange agent o to a tap dance battle...i will not disgustingly flirt with zippy...i will not show off my clevage. i will be propper. and when he walks in, i'll simply smile and say "hello". i will not play truth or dare with agent o while everyone else talks about actual class stuff. i will not yell out random things. i will laugh at things that are funny but i will not force myself to be the center of attention (as usual). i will be everything that we talked about, and everything that i know i can be. and then, who knows? maybe, someday.
|
|
|
[11 Apr 2008|12:32pm] |
she seems like the type of girl that would need a lot of attention.
me, on the other hand.
i would be happy just to be loved.
|
|