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[09 Sep 2003|12:16am] I know I haven't gotten the chance to talk to Erik, but to him, I say; I miss you. Hopefully, we'll talk soon. 1 comment|post comment

[31 Aug 2003|09:22pm] I don't like my username here. And for other unknown reasons, I'm converting. If you need me; aim - facelessdollie I know, I get lots of screen names. 4 comments|post comment

It's worth the gamble. [23 Aug 2003|08:37pm] [ mood | grand ] What have I done? Oh, yeah, you don't know what I've done. I've visited all those sites I posted dating ads on.. and .. dun dun dun.. Deleted them. Deleted them all. Every single one. I've deleted my accounts. I changed my journal around a bit, along with my webpage. I feel more comfortable with everything this way. I'm also feeling really good about myself. Oh, do you know why I deleted my ads and accounts? Because I am quite fond of Justin; his beauty, in both personality and appearance. Ah, can there be anyone prettier? He makes me sigh and realize that I don't need to place ads to find someone special. This boy is so special, it's enough to simply look at him. I mean.. he's seriously making me want to go to school. But, yes, beside the fact that he will be there, I am looking forward to school. I told mumsy that I will work for better grades, do my work on time, and miss school only when necessary. -Takes a deep breath- I. Feel. Good. Note to self: Must see Matchstick Men. 2 comments|post comment

"If you see someone without a smile, give them one of yours!" [22 Aug 2003|05:50pm] Hound- You're like the name suggests, a quiet but very brave & loyal friend. Unlike the other Autobots, you dont miss Cybertron as much since Earth seems to be a much more beautiful and nice place to live. Your secret desire to be a human however sometimes gets you down and makes you depressed. It's best you learn to accept the fact you can't be what you desire. Which Autobot are You? brought to you by Quizilla Hehe, my pal made me take his quiz. The results fit me perfectly. ~.~ He also gave me an workout plan, which seems to be working since I'm so sore. >.o I'll be fit in no time! Eek, I dreamt with Justin..~ It was a very.. erotic.. sensual dream.. but romantic. He had a motorcycle in my dream! He picks me up, we make out on a ferris wheel, and well.. Teehee. Oh, I'm so excited to go back to school.. to see his face.. and I hope I don't have to see Elly's. x.x post comment

Oh Justin, you're so fine, you're so fine you blow my mind. [19 Aug 2003|04:45pm] [ mood | predatory ] [ music | Kidney Thieves - Zerospace ] You're meant for year(s) 1700-1890. You find beauty in the frills and twists of this period, where society was based on grace and nobility. You might also find a sort of romaticism in it, and it's dark under-belly, pertaining to the many family feuds and arranged marriages, as well as the very HIGH suicide rate of women. Which Era Do You Belong In? brought to you by Quizilla So, I had to go to school today to pick up my fall schedule. I couldn't get it cause I have to pay several fees before they'll give me one.. Bastards. But, I did take my student ID picture. I hope it came out right. But before that, I read a sign that said "Step 1: Go to library for student ID pictures." So I went to the library.. and who do I see there? Justin..~ Oh, and Paul, Brian, and some other dude. But there is Justin.. Oh, I forgot how pretty he is. He's gorgeous. He looks good. He's much tanner than last year. His hair is a bit longer than last year.. and SHAGGY! .. -drools- With a black shirt, and baggy pants, his nails were painted black. He's my type of boi. *_* So.. gorgeous.. exquisite.. Elly doesn't deserve him.. I do. I want him. I must have him. I honestly think Justin and I would not only make a better couple than Elly and him, but we would look so good together. I mean.. I pictured it. We'd be perfect. He's.. beautiful. But, the best part.. he finally spoke to me.. even if it was a stupid question.. I walked into the library, immediately, his eyes shot towards me.. I know, to everyone who looked at me, it was because I didn't look the same as I did last year. I was so.. Yuck. I must admit, they looked suprised. Anyways, I sat down at a table in the library. He was talking to Paul, but I could tell he was looking at me every so often. Then he finally turned to me and asked me the stupidest question ever.. .."So, you're here to take your picture, huh?" Paul then blurted, "Of course she is, you idiot. She's not sitting there for nothing!" I said "..Yeah.." Justin turns to Paul and playfully punches him in the arm "Shuuuut upp!" Now, I'm all giggly. LOL! Oh my.. But, of course I was there to take my picture!! Oh, he's a dream. -siiigh- oh Justin, if you were mine... Teehee.. He's probably the only thing I'm looking forward to this year.. I wonder if he and Elly are still together? Well, no big deal; Whenever I see him, I'm going to smile at him, maybe wave at him, I think I should maybe talk to him? Ok, Stephanie, one step at a time. I've had the biggest crush on him since I first laid eyes on him. And nothing has changed my mind. If I could just kiss him.. feel his lips against mine.. Maybe just.. Oh, just looking at him sends chills down my spine. But, enough of that! I have to go back to my school tomorrow with my mumsy to get my schedule. I hope my picture came out okay! I look like crap on my old ID.. post comment

Boi, you sure do say "I love you" rather quickly. [17 Aug 2003|11:42am] [ mood | contemplative ] [ music | Coldplay - The Scientist ] I've stumbled across this site >> Dream Dictionary. You find the subject of your dream, if you can, and it translates it. I looked up "naked" as I did dream I was naked .. a large amount of times. But, today I dreamt I was in some sort of hotel/resort/cult kind of thing, going around from room to room with my little brother, stealing the jewelry and other precious items from sleeping people. I looked up "stealing". Dream Dictionary Definition: Dreaming that you are stealing indicates that you are deprived and where the stealing takes place (at home, the office, at school....) is indicative of your neediness. Alternatively, it may signify unrealized and unfulfilled goals. You may have set your goals too high. I'm not needy.. atleast, I don't think I am. But then again there are some things I, myself, am I unaware of. Also, I do feel like I will fail at my goals. Goals? What goals? I didn't know I had goals. See, I've never really thought about it. I know I've failed/will fail at goals, but I've never really thought about it. Dreams really do reveal a lot. The mind works in wonderous ways, don't you think? It wants to tell you something, but indirectly. It's amazing.. The mind is you, yet it knows more than you do, and it has things it must tell you. Truly amazing.. post comment

Oh, behave... [16 Aug 2003|02:48pm] [ mood | good ] [ music | Rob Dougan - Furious Angels ] There's a 51 - 75% Chance You'll Cheat! Sound about right? Chances are greater than not that you've cheated... Although, probably not all that often. If you haven't cheated yet, then you've probably been tempted. Even if that temptation was "just" a drunken kiss. Bring your sweetie around more often, and you won't have to get flirty with others. Sound completely wrong? Congratulate yourself for keeping it together... Are You Likely to Cheat? More Great Quizzes from Quiz Diva post comment

[15 Aug 2003|01:39pm] [ mood | fine ] [ music | Phantom Planet - California.. yes, agaiN! ] ew, I love Michael??? I think not. That fucker. See? It was just a temporary thing. Don't you hate it when people say they love(d) you, but then you find it out it was never true?? Oh yeah, I hate that. It makes me want to hate the person, himself. Almost. And then, I find out, I'm simply a backup, I mean, its not like anyone wants me as their first choice, right? You get rejected by the one you realy want, then you come to me, and you're like "I love you, you were realy my first choice!!".. Pft, it's like that with every guy.. Every guy I meet on the internet. Thats why I need to get out more. Maybe the one for me is out there.. In the REAL world. Of course, I'll never know. I don't have good enough social skills to go out there. It's scary when my mother sends me to the store. Too many people, seriously. I swear to god, they're all fucking staring at me. Like I don't belong,, or I'm some sort of freak! Everywhere, I go.. it feels like someone.. no, everyone is staring at me. It's so frustrating. Then, the one I care about.. Augh, I wish I could find someone who felt the exact same way about me as I do about him. But anyway, last night, ma came home with a rented movie.. "house of 1000 corpses".. One word: WEIRD! creepy, freaky, weird, but not neccessarily scary. It was confusing, the plot of "dr. Satan" was realyl lame.. like.. most of it had nothing to do with him. But.. I liked it. O.O I'd see it again.. and again.. and again.. Problem is, everyone else in the house hated it.. despised it.. Bah! Weird. Rob Zombie, you freak. Woke up today around 12 something something, but its so hot, I'm getting sleepy again. I have to shower. I'm sweatin like a pig, smellin like a pig, not to mention lookin like a pig. LOL.. Yeah, so anyway, I was just remembering when school was just about ending, how I cherished each day. I would lay my porch, staring at the clouds, perhaps as the sky's tears shed upon me... Sigh, those days, going to the park, having fun, laughing, smiling.. Perhaps I should make use of my last days being free from school's evil grasps. I dunno, but I think I have a new favorite song of all time. Theres something about this song that makes me sooo... happy. We've been on the run Driving in the sun Looking out for #1 California here we come Right back where we started from Hustlers grab your guns Your shadow weighs a ton Driving down the 101 California here we come Right back where we started from California Here we come On the stereo Listen as we go Nothing's gonna stop me now California here we come Right back where we started from Pedal to the floor Thinkin' of the roar Gotta get us to the show California here we come Right back where we started from California Here we come hum ho. 7 comments|post comment

[14 Aug 2003|04:12pm] [ music | Phantom Planet - California ] Schizoid. What's your inner personality disorder? brought to you by Quizilla Seer The ULTIMATE personality test brought to you by Quizilla post comment

[09 Aug 2003|02:41pm] [ mood | im friggin cool, y0! ] [ music | Lauryn Hill - Doo Wop (That Thing) ] I just got a letter from my school. I have to go to school on August 19 for 30 minutes to receive my fall schedule. I'm nervous.. My freshman year was hell. I had a total of 2 friends, and I wouldn't necessarily call them friends. I'm confident this year, except I have a problem. Since this will be like a first year, like an introduction, even though I'm now a sophomore, how am I going to make friends? "Wanna be my friend?!" Haha, yeah. Gotta take out the garbage. Adios. 4 comments|post comment

[28 Jul 2003|12:12am] [ mood | bouncy ] oh my god.. i want that boi with the shaggy hair so badly. i want to fondle him in every way possible. lolololol. oh my god.. i need to see him again.. and give him that.. "hey.. how you doin'?" look. hahaha.. maybe hell approach me.. and then well start the heavy making out!!!! oh dear... i wanna touch his hair. its beautiful. 4 comments|post comment

[26 Jul 2003|10:42pm] [ mood | satisfied ] heyyy, today was kewl. we went to the lake. yey. oh, but before we went to the lake, that fat old guy was in the front yard. hes like "hey ma"... ok, hes not young, so why is he talkin like that?! -shudderrrrrr- so i just ignored him. so we left, came back. its night, so theres these two really cute guys on my front stairs. im lugging the cooler we took, so one stands up and hes like "oh, can i help you with that?" im like "oh yeah sure" he lugs it a few steps. lol im like "ok thank you..." my mom teases me; "oh he just did that to get your attention!!" im like "what can i say? im one sexy bitch!" lmaooo... yeah, that guy was one hot guy. young, too. lol.. id date em.. muahaha. and do other stuff to him.. but THATS BESIDE THE POINT! so anyway.. im talking to trent. :x i cant help it! hes a perv, but i love the lil guy.. well, not really.. but yknow.. that bastard. :D! ah yes.. i cant wait til school starts. i need to start dating.. i mean, how am i suppose to know what i want in a guy if ive never experienced any of that stuff?! yeah... owww... those dumb bells have left my biceps so sore.. ( me ) 2 comments|post comment

heeeeerrrreeee's .. johnny! [25 Jul 2003|05:17pm] [ mood | -confident- ] [ music | blondie~oh mickey you're so fine ] and so i have proven my will power by returning to this wretched hellhole to update in which i promised i wouldnt.. oh well. ive noticed that ive only been removed off the friends list of two people. ive been added to the friends list of one person.. i added them back. so whats been happenin'? i got to talk to erik on the phone awhile ago. may i say that he has a quite sexy voice? :) we really didnt say much, but i guess i was nervous and stuff. i admitted my feelings to him. everything else is in fate's hands. anyway, a lot of crap has happened. my summer has been crap. i havent gone anywhere, but i just began getting in shape.. or not yet, just trying to. also lifting a few weights to tone my biceps and such. ah yes, yesterday, the whole family went out. we were out all day. i got some new clothes. :D i am so ready for the new school year.. not clothes, accesary, and such-wise, but mentally. i think i can let the world see my beautiful personality. ;P ah yes, i looked quite well yesterday. yknow, i have(had) a low self-esteem. but its changed. ive been feeling very selfconfident lately. i wore two low pony tails, baggy jeans, a blue shirt with a monkey on it(i love monkeys <3), and icy grape lipstick. it looks fabolous on me. ;D simply fabulous. unfortunately, there are no attractive young bois around here. D: but i discovered otherwise on my way home!!!! there he was.. the boi with the shaggy hair. BOY HOWDY! he was so cute, adorable, sexy, HOT.. shaggy hair on the right boi has to be the sexiest thing ever. he was walking in this way that you could tell he was a humourous guy; just what i need. ;D i stuck my head out of the car window, looking at him. i did not take notice of him looking at me if he did, but man oh man. i said to myself.. "ohhh.. the boi with the shaggy hair.." it was quite suprising to see one of his kind around my neighborhood. im not being racist or anything, but he was well.. white? and this is the ghetto? but he was probably the cutest boi i have ever seen.. oh.. how sexy you are.. i fantasized about him before i went to bed. oh, what i wouldnt give to lay on a bed of silky sheets, trace my fingers along his back, plant tender kisses around his neck, run my fingers through his soft, somewhat curly hair, and engage in passionate, loving kisses as i twirl a lock of his beautiful hair around my finger.. oh, but i digress.. im ahead of myself, yes. but i am sickened by the old, ugly, mentally challenged, balding, fat man that lives on the first floor of my apartment. hes a perv. this isnt the first time he lies his eyes upon me in such a way, like he wanted to gobble me up! this isnt the first time an old man looks at me in such a way.. arent there any bois out there!? like the other night.. it was raining, i was wearing a white shirt, but i was out with my mom.. i was wearing a black bra!! and still, he stares at me. yesterday, he kept staring at me.. eyes bulging out his sockets, as i passed by him.. "whats up, ma?" silently, he spoke. i shuddered... and almost barfed! -shudder- oh, old man, how i loathe thee... and again.. boi with the shaggy hair,how i love thee.. or lust.. either way.. ;P -giggle, giggle- p.s. ...i have a new screen name. shame on you if you cant guess what it is. lets just say its right under your nose.. (and no, its not literally "under your nose"..) 4 comments|post comment

[21 Jun 2003|06:39pm] [ mood | drained ] [ music | Olive - Smile ] ...Smile, you'll steal away my soul. Smile, I'll hide away and cry. My mind's made up. I will shudder to see your eyes. Smile, no doubt I'll keep my pride. But it may be hard to find... Saw Adaptation. Pretty good. This is my last entry. Period. I find it pointless for me to update this when nothing is new. I will never return to this journal to update. I might sign onto AIM, but that will be rarely. Wish me good luck in life, you all. You've been pretty cool. I just feel I don't even know myself sometimes. I want to explore what my surroundings have to offer. I want to enjoy my life. And despite what people say, I will find someone whom I can love, treasure, and hold even though I am young. I want something beautiful in my hands. I want something beautiful that will allow me to care for them and let me in. I want someone in my heart, and it doesn't matter if I'm in their heart. I know everyone needs someone at some point in their lives. You are what you love... not what loves you. -- Adaptation And to Erik; thank you for being in my life. When you're around, when you talk to me, you always bring a smile upon my face. You brighten my days. You make me happy. You've been my best friend throughout this short amount of time. I'm glad I stubbled into your journal. If we're not able to keep in touch this summer, just know that I'll be missing you. I'll remember you. 5 comments|post comment

[21 Jun 2003|12:22pm] VIVA PUERTO RICO! 1 comment|post comment

[20 Jun 2003|08:05pm] take the "Which Funkified Anime Internet Emoticon Are You Quiz" @ undead friday. .... ... .. . o.o post comment

[19 Jun 2003|10:00pm] o0o0o0o0o.. guess who took more pics? And guess who's trying to be sexay?! IS SHE SUCCEEDING!? I think I look okay.. I mean, I'm not fishing for compliments, so I won't say "I'm ugly", yet I have no boyfriend.. :( But.. I know what it is. It's my attitude. It's not very welcoming. lol. 7 comments|post comment

[19 Jun 2003|11:32am] lordnibbler Magic Number 15 Job Serial Killer Personality I'd Quite Like One Temperament Sweet Natured Sexual Whatever, Whenever, Whoever Likely To Win The Booker Prize Me - In A Word Compassionate Colour Brought to you by MemeJack That's pretty freaky. My favourite color is green. ^_^ post comment

[18 Jun 2003|08:50pm] I know you're out there.. somewhere out there. 1 comment|post comment

[18 Jun 2003|07:51pm] [ mood | uncomfortable ] [ music | Nelly Furtado - Scared of You ] I want to fall in love already.. I want to hold someone's hand under the moon and have him look into my eyes. I want to hug someone tightly, closely, and forever. I want to find someone just right for me... I just want to be loved, held, and kissed. 4 comments|post comment

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