lookngforperfct's Blurty
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Below are the 16 most recent journal entries recorded in lookngforperfct's Blurty:

    Sunday, January 16th, 2005
    10:22 pm
    you know what?
    if you can't find "love" maybe you should stop looking for it.
    i seriously doutb it exsist. What do people who say they're inlove know. they "fall in love", they've never felt this way about any one before..so what?when you fall out of love and fall back into it with some one else, you've never felt this way about anyone before, AGAIN?come one. and they "just know"..how do they JUST KNOW..what exactly does this feel like..ohhh its unexplainable..right..i forgot..ya i guess some things just are unexplainable..like LIFE..come on..every one can describe any feeling they've ever felt..what makes love any different.

    i "care" about you..
    i'm glad i know you
    i'm glad you exist
    i "like" you alot.
    i can stand to be around you for long amounts of time.
    maybe i'd even die for you..but i dont love you ok
    or are all these things supposed to add up to love or something?

    or am i just to young and immature to understand right now..and maybe i will someday?

    you think you're in love because thats what the world expects you to think.

    Current Mood: accomplished
    Sunday, December 12th, 2004
    9:22 pm
    i heard you had fun this weekend
    one of the most annoying things a person can come up into your face and say..
    and i'll tell you why..
    1 i have fun like every weekend
    2 its none of your business anyway
    3 you have no clue what i even did unless you were with me
    and i really dont care what you fucking heard

    so do me a favor, get a god damn life

    and stay out of mine..you weren't invited

    is being selfish really that bad if everyone else is?

    Current Mood: happy
    Current Music: billy talent-voices of violence
    Wednesday, December 1st, 2004
    9:09 pm
    nothing new..just sick..got my comp fixed
    ooh man manson was great..deffinately one of the most awesomest shows i've been too...too bad we werent on the floor..then it probably would have been the awesomest..oh well..

    i'm sick...its gross..realll bad cold..

    oh yea guess what!
    i'm a wrestling manager..so go to the TV matches n i'll get to see you!:)

    Current Mood: apathetic
    Sunday, November 21st, 2004
    5:16 pm
    finally got a god damn job!...yep Nino's!!!...got paid n bought the stupidest thing everr...HA!...read my last journal entry and see if you can figure that out!
    god damn retard..yea thats you charity...

    but who cares..

    by the way..i dont really have a computer right now...so thats why i havent updated this lately.

    and since i somewhat have money now...i might actually get my phone fixed..and when this happens..fucking call me dammit!

    Current Mood: sick
    5:01 pm
    i had one of the worst and weirdest experience's of my life last night..and i dont think i'll ever do it again.
    i had all the bad side affects and not a single good one. why does this always happen to me..i'm so fucked up..its no fun! half the people there said i looked dead..the other half just thought i was...probably shouldnt ever do that again.................soooo sorry about your hallway:(

    anyway....Manson in Reading this Saturday!!!!!
    cant fucking wait!
    gunna be some awesome fuckin shit!!!!!!!!!

    Current Mood: sick
    Sunday, October 24th, 2004
    8:39 pm
    guess what this is.
    everyone always has you on their mind or is always talking about you and only you...evvveryyyone is jealous of you..i mean there is nooo possible chance that they could maybe just not like you..they're deffinately jealous of you..they talked shit about me!! they're jealous!...
    you know what? you're jealous of anyone who's more attractive,smart,nice,real,funny and just fucking more liked than you..and you most likely hate them automatically no matter what...and then you make up stupid reaons to tell people why you don't like someone..like..theres just something about them i dont like..or i just don't think i could get along with them..(without even trying).
    but however, the world looks up to you anyway..you're like a god or something..no ones better than you..hell, how could they be?
    Everything is always about you..hell even this entry
    you try to control everything and everyone..you're always pissed when things don't go your way or don't work out for you..well really..you're just always pissed..
    you think everyone wants you or wants to be you..and theres no reason for either really.

    you talk about everrryone..even people you don't know at all and then flip when some one says something about you.
    hell people can't even say nice things about you with out you flipping.
    (not that theres much to say anyway)

    and you use people.you use your friends.thats all they're there for..to be used and kiss your fucking ass.

    wow..you sound really great..i can see why people are so jealous of you.

    so..can you guess what this is?

    hmm..a girl??

    close!..but not quite

    a real fucking bitch?

    right on.

    Current Mood: accomplished
    Current Music: world series music >:[
    Thursday, October 21st, 2004
    8:15 am
    fuck the redsox
    they don't deserve to be in the wolrd series!>:O
    they fucking cheated anyway..they somehow got jesus to be on their team and score 49084397 homeruns!fucking caveman!!!!!!!
    they're so pathetic..they don't stand a god damn chance!

    hey John Henry why don't you trade your best player to the yankees too?douchebags!


    on the bright side..maybe the bags under my eyes will finally go away since i won't be up till 2 watching 10 hour games..and Maybe i'll even start going to school again...unlike today..but c'mon! how could i go to school under these conditions...really

    and don't ever hang out with marcie while she's on fall break...she'll make you gain 10 pounds in 3 days!>:O

    Current Mood: depressed
    Current Music: radiohead...?
    Wednesday, October 20th, 2004
    8:14 pm
    i'm so fucking cold man!..i go outside for like 10 minutes and i'm freezing for the rest of the night:(
    i wish it was summer again soo bad..i dont think i'm gunna make it!
    why do we need winter anyway?
    i wanna move so bad:(
    some one come take me away!!

    I got my fucking braces off monday!!!!:D
    i can smile again and not scare little kids!..somewhat
    i'm so god damn happy!
    n fuck the retainers man you wont ever see me wearing that shit while i'm awake and talking
    especially since i cant talk with them in at alllll!even my mum made fun of me:(

    i made a palm tree out of clay today in art class:D..
    n it is cooool

    Yankees better win tonight!!!!
    redsox deserve to be fucking cursed anyway!

    you keep calling me dude..my name is rudolph.


    Current Mood: cold
    Current Music: Sublime-santeria
    Thursday, October 14th, 2004
    10:14 pm
    why the hell...
    would i want anything to do with a superficial little fuck like you?

    you disgust me..you make me sick. you're everything that's repulsive and more. you're fake. and you lie.you're hated and you like it. you like yourself. you're two faced. you make me twitch just thinking of your existance. you destroy everything. you annoy everyone.you talk when no one wants or needs to hear it. and your voice goes right through them...and we see right through you..you can't even think for youself. you ruin peoples lives. you think you deserve the time of day. you're a real fucking bitch. theres not one thing good about you. if there is a hell, you wont even go to that..you dont deserve it. you're the worst thing that ever happend to anyone.

    you are here to show everyone how not to be.

    you are everything that the perfect person wouldnt even come close to.

    Imagine if there were people actually like that..

    oh wait..there are.

    Current Mood: content
    Monday, October 11th, 2004
    11:54 pm
    i'm ok with that..i am enlightend
    practically everyone has some sort of eating disorder ok!..they either eat too much or don't eat enough..i think i'd rather not eat enough then eat too much..thats what i think everyone should do dammit!!ha..personally i'd choose bulimia..but i can't make myself throw up...it just doesn't work

    don't listen to me..i'm retarded

    do what you want...be fat..be unhappy..you'll fit in better that way anyway...

    by the way..no need to comment on this particular entry..i probably don't wanna hear it any way
    however everyone is entitled to their own opinion n blah blah blah

    Current Mood: peaceful
    Current Music: comp on theverge of blowing up from running 2 things at once
    Thursday, October 7th, 2004
    4:35 pm
    thats just crazy
    tri-valley only has to run a half mile for their physical fittness test! i thought that was pretty awesome considering how out of shape i am since i havent been in a sport since track last year...my time was 3:53..and my gym teacher said that was good!..i was like yea..sure..i'm just glad i missed the body fat percentage test they did a couple weeks ago..man who knows what that woulda been...haha it woulda been like 50% and my gym teacher would have been like ohh thats pretty good. i cant believe they give you extra points if you have a lower body fat. thats just crazy..i think it said if your percentage is above 30% you dont get any points at all..haha yea i'm reallllly glad i missed that. i dont think i've ever been as fat as i am right now. but i'm trying to fix that! i dunno what happend:(

    Current Mood: mellow
    Current Music: fidelity investment commercial-reunited and it feels so good
    Tuesday, October 5th, 2004
    12:02 am
    I'm happy, hope you're happy too..
    waaaa i have sooo many problems n my life sucks soo bad and everyone hates me n i wanna die! all i can do is bitch n complain because i'm hoping that the 1 person out of 10 wont get annoyed and will actually care about all of my little pointless problems..
    yea thats what i think of you!

    i mean really, its like people cant get through one day without bitching about some stupid problem they most likely put upon themselves or have blown it up to be wayy bigger than what it actually is.
    really..is your life that bad? or do you just make it that way?
    i think it all comes back to wanting attention really.
    and most likely the only attention you are getting is from the people that are fed up with you and your "problems"
    did you ever think that if you have that many problems..maybe YOU'RE just the problem?
    and you should probably just die or something.

    and before you die..take the hint that no one actually cares..and everyone is selfish just like you.

    my life's farrr from perfect and i'm the happiest god damn person i know. :D
    your life can only be as great as YOU make it and want it to be.

    Current Mood: refreshed
    Current Music: a perfect circle-orestes
    Saturday, October 2nd, 2004
    5:34 pm
    call me disgustingly fat or TONS of fun or something!
    i'm serious..whenever you see me call me something mean like that..i need some motivation..

    i'm stuck here till 10 and i forgot my lighter in marcie's car:(..i cant find any matches either...
    this is not helping the situation!

    I'm going to eat my whole god damn house..the address rr 1 box 24 dornsife will no longer exsist after today

    on the bright side..my shitty computer that keeps shutting down every 10 minutes is alot faster than the one i'm usually on

    Current Mood: fat
    Current Music: the offspring-can't get my head around you
    Thursday, September 30th, 2004
    10:15 pm
    my gym teacher can go to hell!
    today i go to gym class..i get all ready..im the first one out and everything and the teacher says to everyone make sure you're not chewing gum and you have all your jewelry off. so i got back to the locker room spit out my gum and take off my neclaces i had, knowing she was only referring to me. then i come back out and my whole gym class and the gym teacher are gone. i'm like what the fuck? i dont know where the wrestling room is?! so i go out and look for it..luckily my home room teacher was out there and she showed me where it was. i get in there and get ready to go over to my line and my gym teacher comes over to me and is like "YOU CAN'T PLAY WITH ALL THOSE EARINGS"..i'm like..but i always do..n i deffinately didnt feel like taking out 13 earings just so i could play dodgeball..when the guys never even throw the ball any where near me..let alone my head!..My earing aren't jewelry...they're like one with my ear..THEY ARE MY FUCKING EAR! so i go over and TAKE MY EAR OFF, taking me like 5 minutes to do..and the whole time i'm taking them out my gym teacher never took her bitchy little fucking eyes off me..its like jesus christ man i'm gunna take em out!..and just to let you know..i didnt get hit once today!

    I had to talk about that..it just pissed me right off!

    on a happier not..I dont have school tommorrow and I'm going to the fair with my bestest homie in the whole worldd!(AKA; my bitch ho slut skeezbag sister):D

    and hopefulllly hanging out with some of my dearly missed friends this weekend:)

    Current Mood: content
    Current Music: manson-use your fist and not your mouth
    1:04 am
    what a shitty day..
    i slept in today..missing my ride and the bus. so i fell back asleep on the couch, my mom comes home and wakes me up by slapping my god damn ass and saying why didnt you go to school?!(she says that to me a lot)
    but i have good reasons everytime. My reason this time was that i was up till almost 2 last night working on an art poster that personally i think turned out pretty awesome. I was all like dedicated to it..(i felt like you, bitch):P.
    so any way..i did go to school then..cuz theres was nooo way i spent that many hours on that art project to not hand it in(it was for a contest and the dead line was today)..school wasnt THAT bad today..and i wasnt even as cold as usual either..that was weird. I had a chem and civics test that im sure i did great on.haha thats weird to..maybe this day wasnt as shitty as it was weird? So i got home and some movie was on tv about this guy who kept marrying this girl n then getting divorced and then marrying her again n they did this like 5 times and finallly stayed together at the end..cuz thats how movies are..i think it was called "the marrying man"..makes sense...so after that i decided i was really cold and tired and i went up to my bed and fell asleep at 6 and slept till now..I just love it when i take 6 or so hour naps after school dont you?but hey at least it keeps me from eating or doing anything else stupid while im awake.

    i dont have school friday because of some hick event Tri-valley does!!!!:D
    yea i'm pretty happy about that

    i wanna go to the fair n it better not rain any more..i cant ever remember hurrricane season being this annoying before last year?

    Current Mood: tired
    Current Music: none
    Tuesday, September 28th, 2004
    6:36 pm
    i'm so bored here, i started a fucking journal
    yea..realll bored..maybe i shouldn't have moved or something..i miss you guys just so you know:(
    But it's really not that bad here and it has potential to be pretty good..besides being boring..but tell me,where is there any excitement within 100 miles from here or dornsife?

    Yea thats what i thought..

    i'll try to keep this as exciting as possible..but not so that it gets too out of hand..cuz you know how journals can get..Frrreakin crazy..ooo..boy

    so now that you understand my situation, im not a dork, just too god damn bored.

    Current Mood: amused
    Current Music: kevin lyttle-turn me on :D...i miss my phone
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